Your Opinion.

lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

So my FI and I were sitting in my car on the way to eat the other night.

I was joking around with him and asked..

"babe, what do you think of our wedding being moved another year"

He said he didn't care.

and I said then.. "Ok, well, what about three more years in 2017?"

He said.. "That would give us more saving money time."

I was a bit offended by this. I know I picked the date and he agreed he liked it.

Which is April 12, 2014.

But... it just sounds like he isn't AS excited to marry me like I am him.

Maybe I am just over-reacting. and also, he hasn't really helped me plan, he kind of just has a whatever attitude about it. He has told me he likes/dislikes a few things and has had a few suggestions, but so far I am doing MOST of the planning.

I'm thinking once the date gets closer he will be more into it and help me plan more and act more excited about it. It is 17 months away still. and I myself haven't planned no more than about 50% of it anyways.

BUT I tell myself that he IS ready and excited to marry me, because HE was the one that proposed. So.. maybe I am being over-reacting. What do yall think? (:

pesematology · October 2012

The book The Conscious Bride says that even though marriage may be momentous for a man, the wedding isn't typically the transformative event that it is for women in our society. A common reason that women become so much more invested in planning is because of the huge shift in identity that occurs when a woman marries. Men experience these rites of passage at different life events, often at the birth of their first child. So a man who seems uninterested in wedding planning might just be having a different experience for that reason. If this disturbs you, I recommend getting the book for him so he can understand the added significance that a wedding has for a woman, and what the experience of being a bride entails in terms of personal identity.

Gabrielle76 · October 2012

Do you already live together? It took my FI a while to understand why I was so excited to have the lable "married" because as he pointed out, nothing really was going to change, because we had been living together for two years already.

I don't think that most guys think about their weddings like girls do. It may just be that it's too far away for it to really be on his radar. Have you talked to him about how you feel?

Gabrielle76 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:1130eee0-5600-4c3e-a0b7-7b53cac2bd0d">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]The book The Conscious Bride says that even though marriage may be momentous for a man, the wedding isn't typically the transformative event that it is for women in our society.<strong> A common reason that women become so much more invested in planning is because of the huge shift in identity that occurs when a woman marries</strong>. Men experience these rites of passage at different life events, often at the birth of their first child. So a man who seems uninterested in wedding planning might just be having a different experience for that reason. If this disturbs you, I recommend getting the book for him so he can understand the added significance that a wedding has for a woman, and what the experience of being a bride entails in terms of personal identity.
Posted by pesematology[/QUOTE]

I think it has less to do with that, and more to do with the fact that lots of media tries to push women to think about weddings so they spend $$ on them. "My Fair Wedding" airs on WE-TV, not Spike...

lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:d03f3803-cf78-4960-82c3-aaeeae175acd">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]Do you already live together? It took my FI a while to understand why I was so excited to have the lable "married" because as he pointed out, nothing really was going to change, because we had been living together for two years already. I don't think that most guys think about their weddings like girls do. It may just be that it's too far away for it to really be on his radar. Have you talked to him about how you feel?
Posted by Gabrielle76[/QUOTE]<div>Nope. We do not live together yet. But we are together all the time, almost every day. And I agree. Thanks for the advice(: </div><div>and yes I have. He assures me he is excited and ready to marry me, it is just a little far away still and when the date comes closer he feels he will get more excited. I still feel down when he acted that way, I know I shouldn't be.
But as you said, men don't think about their wedding day as us women do, so I need to realize that,. :) </div>

lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:1130eee0-5600-4c3e-a0b7-7b53cac2bd0d">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]The book The Conscious Bride says that even though marriage may be momentous for a man, the wedding isn't typically the transformative event that it is for women in our society. A common reason that women become so much more invested in planning is because of the huge shift in identity that occurs when a woman marries. Men experience these rites of passage at different life events, often at the birth of their first child. So a man who seems uninterested in wedding planning might just be having a different experience for that reason. If this disturbs you, I recommend getting the book for him so he can understand the added significance that a wedding has for a woman, and what the experience of being a bride entails in terms of personal identity.
Posted by pesematology[/QUOTE]Thanks for the advice! I will have to look into that book. (:

pesematology · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:a818f626-6824-4383-a85b-e6cefb06a5d1">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Your Opinion. : I think it has less to do with that, and more to do with the fact that lots of media tries to push women to think about weddings so they spend $$ on them. "My Fair Wedding" airs on WE-TV, not Spike...
Posted by Gabrielle76[/QUOTE]

I think the reason that the media is so successful in pushing women to obsess and spend is because of the female-specific anxieties inherent in going through the transitional role of "bride" to take on the new identity of "wife". Women fearful of acknowledging the loss inherent in the wedding ceremony immerse themselves in materialistic details to escape the emotions that society has deemed "unacceptable" in a supposedly serene, blissful bride.

LiLe422 · October 2012

In Response to Re:Your Opinion.:So my FI and I were sitting in my car on the way to eat the other night.I was joking around with him and asked.."babe, what do you think of our wedding being moved another year"nbsp;He said he didn't care.and I said then.. "Ok, well, what about three more years in 2017?"nbsp;He said.. "That would give us more saving money time."nbsp;I was a bit offended by this. I know I picked the date and he agreed he liked it.nbsp;Which is April 12, 2014.nbsp;But... it just sounds like he isn't AS excited to marry me like I am him.nbsp;Maybe I am just overreacting. and also, he hasn't really helped me plan, he kind of just has a whatever attitude about it. He has told me he likes/dislikes a few things and has had a few suggestions, but so far I am doing MOST of the planning.I'm thinking once the date gets closer he will be more into it and help me plan more and act more excited about it. It is 17 months away still. and I myself haven't planned no more than about 50 of it anyways.nbsp;BUT I tell myself that he IS ready and excited to marry me, because HE was the one that proposed. So.. maybe I am being overreacting. What do yall think? :nbsp; Posted by lindseyandzach2014 Most men are not nearly as excited about the wedding as women are. My FI could care less about details and such. That does not make me question his commitment to me. I think you are overreacting.

cnf2013 · October 2012

My Fi just stared getting excited the last month or so. We're having a year and half engagement. He had the same attitude you're describing for the first 8 or so months. I think most guys just don't get quite as excited, and I agree with PP that a lot has to do with the media. Some guys tend to take a back seat approach since a lot of media makes it out to be all about the bride making all the decisions and whatnot. You still have a ways to go and your excitement will ebb and flow as well. I wouldn't stress too much. Just remind him that it's his wedding too and that you appreciate all his input. Compromise on something you're willing to give up if you have opposing ideas on something and maybe having picked out something specific will help excite him. My FI picked our DJ and he loves to tell our friends about how he runs the local bar trivia and has cool online playlist builder. He also got the final say in our date, and both were things I didn't mind compromising on.

lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:70e07683-07b8-44b6-928c-9628188fea79">Re:Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Your Opinion.:So my FI and I were sitting in my car on the way to eat the other night.I was joking around with him and asked.."babe, what do you think of our wedding being moved another year"nbsp;He said he didn't care.and I said then.. "Ok, well, what about three more years in 2017?"nbsp;He said.. "That would give us more saving money time."nbsp;I was a bit offended by this. I know I picked the date and he agreed he liked it.nbsp;Which is April 12, 2014.nbsp;But... it just sounds like he isn't AS excited to marry me like I am him.nbsp;Maybe I am just overreacting. and also, he hasn't really helped me plan, he kind of just has a whatever attitude about it. He has told me he likes/dislikes a few things and has had a few suggestions, but so far I am doing MOST of the planning.I'm thinking once the date gets closer he will be more into it and help me plan more and act more excited about it. It is 17 months away still. and I myself haven't planned no more than about 50 of it anyways.nbsp;BUT I tell myself that he IS ready and excited to marry me, because HE was the one that proposed. So.. maybe I am being overreacting. What do yall think? :nbsp; Posted by lindseyandzach2014 Most men are not nearly as excited about the wedding as women are. My FI could care less about details and such. That does not make me question his commitment to me. I think you are overreacting.
Posted by LiLe422[/QUOTE]<div>Thank you. I think I am as well.. (:

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pesematology · October 2012

I don't think simply labeling an emotional response an "overreaction" is very helpful, even if it's true. What exactly do you fear will happen if your fiancé is not as eager about wedding planning as you expect?

lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:ab98eca7-7f96-41e3-bbb9-b7eaa2e0f164">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]My Fi just stared getting excited the last month or so. We're having a year and half engagement. He had the same attitude you're describing for the first 8 or so months. I think most guys just don't get quite as excited, and I agree with PP that a lot has to do with the media. Some guys tend to take a back seat approach since a lot of media makes it out to be all about the bride making all the decisions and whatnot. You still have a ways to go and your excitement will ebb and flow as well. I wouldn't stress too much. Just remind him that it's his wedding too and that you appreciate all his input. Compromise on something you're willing to give up if you have opposing ideas on something and maybe having picked out something specific will help excite him. My FI picked our DJ and he loves to tell our friends about how he runs the local bar trivia and has cool online playlist builder. He also got the final say in our date, and both were things I didn't mind compromising on.
Posted by cnf2013[/QUOTE]Thanks so much. That made me feel loads better. <div>I think my FI is that way as well. and It sucks how society makes men think the way it does but oh well. That's life. :)

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lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:0b2d6b2b-5f02-467f-b4e2-c53f9283fc67">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think simply labeling an emotional response an "overreaction" is very helpful, even if it's true. What exactly do you fear will happen if your fiancé is not as eager about wedding planning as you expect?
Posted by pesematology[/QUOTE]
I guess that I fear that he will be like that this whole time, and even on our wedding day.<div>I am afraid that he isn't as excited to marry me as I am him. </div><div>But I should know that this isn't true. </div><div>He simply is just being a male. </div>

Gabrielle76 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:0e948c41-19fa-47d8-8e05-85d3671667c5">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Your Opinion. : I think the reason that the media is so successful in pushing women to obsess and spend is because of the female-specific anxieties inherent in going through the transitional role of "bride" to take on the new identity of "wife". Women fearful of acknowledging the loss inherent in the wedding ceremony immerse themselves in materialistic details to escape the emotions that society has deemed "unacceptable" in a supposedly serene, blissful bride.
Posted by pesematology[/QUOTE]

Interesting...

I'm not disagreeing with you, because I think that's a really good point, I'm just hoping for an expansion, what anxieties in particular are you referring too?

lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:c90b984d-2dd0-4fef-bbba-f36ab0f2b7d9">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Your Opinion. : Interesting... I'm not disagreeing with you, because I think that's a really good point, I'm just hoping for an expansion, what anxieties in particular are you referring too?
Posted by Gabrielle76[/QUOTE]
Him getting aggrivated at me for pushing on the subject of our wedding. <div>Then I regret it, because I don't want to overwhelm him. </div><div>and also his attitude at times. (which he is getting better on that) </div><div>and just the fact that he basically said he didn;t care what our wedding date was as long as we are getting married, he said as long as the wedding isn't off then he doesn't care what the date is but not before April 12, 2014 because he wants to graduate his college before we get married and I am all for that. My feelings were a little hurt by him saying what he did about not caring when the date was just because I would think he would want to marry me ASAP like I do him because I love him so much and am so ready to marry him. But then I realized, ehh he will get more excited as the date gets closer.. </div>

NcsuPsych · October 2012

You're offended by your FI, because you asked him a question and he answered you? . .
Could it be that perhaps your FI knew you weren't 100% serious about those questions you were asking / dates you were suggesting, so he didn't feel the need to put a lot of effort into his answers?

I mean, if your FI was trying to persuade you into delaying the wedding, then I might consider him not being fully ready for marriage, but that wasn't what he was doing. He was simply agreeing with your suggestions. He's already agreed to your current date. I would suggest you not allow yourself to become offended so easily. Wedding planning can at times, be emotional. By asking a question like you did, you basically set yourself up.

As far as the planning goes, DH had input on cake, music, and what he was going to wear. As for the rest of it, as long as I was happy, he couldn't care less. Does that mean he wasn't excited? No. He was very excited about getting married, but he's not a party planner nor a social butterfly. I didn't expect him to help pick out colors, or bridesmaids dresses. If he added his opinion, I listened and greatly appreciated it, but otherwise, I didn't pressure him to be more hands-on with the planning, because it just wasn't his thing. I will say though, when I asked for his opinions, he was very helpful on that aspect.

Also, as PP has stated, you've got a ways to go for your wedding date (perhaps even further if you're thinking 2017

). You and your FI have plenty of time to be excited. There is no rule saying you've got to be 'OMG I'M GETTING MARRIED' 24/7, every day, up until your wedding date.

Good luck and happy planning!

lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:098bb9d0-c907-44d6-af61-7fa433bfbd54">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]You're offended by your FI, because you asked him a question and he answered you? . . Could it be that perhaps your FI knew you weren't 100% serious about those questions you were asking / dates you were suggesting, so he didn't feel the need to put a lot of effort into his answers? I mean, if your FI was trying to persuade you into delaying the wedding, then I might consider him not being fully ready for marriage, but that wasn't what he was doing. He was simply agreeing with your suggestions. He's already agreed to your current date. I would suggest you not allow yourself to become offended so easily. Wedding planning can at times, be emotional. By asking a question like you did, you basically set yourself up. As far as the planning goes, DH had input on cake, music, and what he was going to wear. As for the rest of it, as long as I was happy, he couldn't care less. Does that mean he wasn't excited? No. He was very excited about getting married, but he's not a party planner nor a social butterfly. I didn't expect him to help pick out colors, or bridesmaids dresses. If he added his opinion, I listened and greatly appreciated it, but otherwise, I didn't pressure him to be more hands-on with the planning, because it just wasn't his thing. I will say though, when I asked for his opinions, he was very helpful on that aspect. Also, as PP has stated, you've got a ways to go for your wedding date (perhaps even further if you're thinking 2017 ). You and your FI have plenty of time to be excited. There is no rule saying you've got to be 'OMG I'M GETTING MARRIED' 24/7, every day, up until your wedding date. Good luck and happy planning!
Posted by NcsuPsych[/QUOTE]<div>Thanks so much for your advice. </div><div>and I think it was just me being insecure, </div><div>you're right maybe he did realize I wasn't being serious, I didn't think about that. :)</div><div>but no, he did agree on the date and we are going to keep it there, </div><div>and those ideas of letting him do the parts of the wedding HE is interested in, that is a great idea!</div><div>I shouldn't be so hard on him, all that matters is I know he loves me and wants to marry me or he wouldn't have proposed and he isn't one to get excited about things enless the time gets closer then he starts to, so I am thinking once it gets closer he will act more excited, but I am not going to ask him to help plan any more than he wants to. </div><div>It's mostly the woman's job anyways, right? ;) </div><div>
</div><div>Thanks once again! :D

</div>

Leysin97 · October 2012

I thnk he will get more excited the closer it gets. We are getting married December 1st and it has really only been on the last few weeks my FI has gotten more involved. He's even now getting on me to get things done. It was like pulling teeth 6 months ago to get him to help with things and now he's the one on top of things and he's super excited about it. So I wouldn't worry. I'm sure he's excited men just show it differently.

lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:0a791d4b-16d2-48b8-8303-134e9bd26819">Re:Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]There is a huge huge difference between being excited about marrying you and excited about the wedding. And a lot of times, it seems brides confuse the two or at least directly equate one with the other. I spent most of my 15 month engagement literally not caring about my wedding. That didn't mean I wasnt excited about marrying my husband. Would you be super excited ants in your pants about any other party 17 months out? Probably not. I do think you're over analyzing things here. You were joking, then got upset that he didn't react in accordance to a serious conversation that wasn't really happening. Also, if you are already annoying him with too much wedding talk this far out, I would seriously recommend you step away from the wedding planning for awhile. That to me is a major warning sign, but not about your husband.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]Thanks for your opinion. :)<div>yes, I recognize that I was over-reacting. :)

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lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:5f567d94-3d7f-4b85-8ec4-8cd1249172bd">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]I thnk he will get more excited the closer it gets. We are getting married December 1st and it has really only been on the last few weeks my FI has gotten more involved. He's even now getting on me to get things done. It was like pulling teeth 6 months ago to get him to help with things and now he's the one on top of things and he's super excited about it. So I wouldn't worry. I'm sure he's excited men just show it differently.
Posted by Leysin97[/QUOTE]That's exactly how I bet my FI will be, he is just that type of person that doesn't get excited until the event gets closer. Not only will he be like this with our wedding, he was like that for his first trip to NY with my family, and he was so excited when the time got closer. (just an example on how I predict he will probably be,) <div>:)

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Swazzle · October 2012

Maybe it's because you just graduated from high school....

RailWayWife · October 2012

I was in a similar situation. FI & I had a long engagement so when it finally came to nailing down a date he didn't seem excited, and didn't seem to care what year it was in. My advice to you would be trust him. He did purpose to you. He does love you. The wedding may not seem real to him yet, sit him down and say its important to you that you set a date and stick with it. Once the day is final and the wedding is closer I am sure he will show more intrest and excitement.

lls31 · October 2012

If you just graduated from high school, I'm guessing that you're around 18 years old. Don't rush it.

I was with my first boyfriend for all 4 years of high school. Not too long before my graduation, he said that he wanted to marry me. About a week later, I broke up with him. I was 17 years old and hadn't even lived life yet at that point. Looking back, it was the best decision I ever made. Though I thought I was in love with him at the time, it was a very immature love and we were nowhere near compatible. Had we gotten married, I could guarantee that we would've been divorced within 2 years.

I'm not saying you should break up and I'm not saying your situation is anything like mine. But do yourself a favor and have a long engagement. Give yourselves time to grow up (not trying to be mean, but you're just barely adults) and grow together.

lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:d38c1cd0-63f6-4582-8cde-f6d3c7fc8310">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]I was in a similar situation. FI & I had a long engagement so when it finally came to nailing down a date he didn't seem excited, and didn't seem to care what year it was in. My advice to you would be trust him. He did purpose to you. He does love you. The wedding may not seem real to him yet, sit him down and say its important to you that you set a date and stick with it. Once the day is final and the wedding is closer I am sure he will show more intrest and excitement.
Posted by RailWayWife[/QUOTE]Thank you:) I agree.

lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:8d9f2259-0301-4099-9d64-b95cd9f7088e">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]If you just graduated from high school, I'm guessing that you're around 18 years old. Don't rush it. I was with my first boyfriend for all 4 years of high school. Not too long before my graduation, he said that he wanted to marry me. About a week later, I broke up with him. I was 17 years old and hadn't even lived life yet at that point. Looking back, it was the best decision I ever made. Though I thought I was in love with him at the time, it was a very immature love and we were nowhere near compatible. Had we gotten married, I could guarantee that we would've been divorced within 2 years. I'm not saying you should break up and I'm not saying your situation is anything like mine. But do yourself a favor and have a long engagement. Give yourselves time to grow up (not trying to be mean, but you're just barely adults) and grow together.
Posted by lls31[/QUOTE]I am 19. And thanks for your advice. (: <div>

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lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:06c636fa-708f-45a1-a148-93addf0f131a">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Your Opinion. : Ditto this. You both need to grow up. 2017 would be a much better year for you two to get married. <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_i-need-help-with-patience">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_i-need-help-with-patience</a> Your FI is the smarter of the two of you. You should listen to him more. I can't even fathom hoping to be engaged at prom.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]Why is there a reason to be rude and hurt someone's feelings?<div>The reason why I even had the THOUGHT of being engaged at prom was because thats how my parents got engaged! And it didn't happen until he was ready! and thats okay with me! & we agreed on a date, and it's after he graduates from college and I will be in RN school then so there's no reason for your snide remarks. Thanks.

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lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:58b7e66f-3e6d-4cc2-99f9-954127739043">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Your Opinion. : What is with the random caps and the attitude?
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
I feel you guys are being mean to me about it. <div>I think when people feel they are ready to get married then they can. B/c it's their life.</div><div>My FI is the love of my life and we will both be 20 when our wedding comes around.</div><div>He will be graduated from college (he is in school to be a diesel/automotive technician/mechanic) and I will already be in RN school b/c I work at a hospital that does an RN Program and I am now just finishing my pre-reqs. If we were just being two dumb-ass kids who just graduated and want to get married RIGHT NOW then there would be a reason to have a say, but as long as we both have a good head on our shoulders and will have some type of income coming in, and are at least waiting until then.. I don't think that people should be mean about it. I wasn't trying to have an attitude. Just tired of hearing I'm too young, because it's true, we are young but I think if we are going the way we are going then that's okay. :( </div>

lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:9ec17f5e-ae74-43ff-8f0b-877bee7a7092">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Your Opinion. : That doesn't make it any better. I disagree.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
If that is your opinion, that is okay. I respect it.

lindseyandzach2014 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:5a1f69d7-99f4-40d7-9601-1039da4351f8">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Your Opinion. : I know you don't think you're being a couple of dumbass kids but you are. Dumbass kids never look at their own actions and think they're stupid. In 20 years you're going to look back at your 20 year old self and want to slap her across the face for wasting her best years intent on getting married to the first boy she ever kissed instead of living life and learning from it. You're going to wish you could kick yourself for hoping to follow in your parents footsteps and throw away your life. And that will feel so much worse than some people on an internet forum "being mean" to you. FWIW I don't care if I hurt your feelings. That's life. Get used to it.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]If that's your opinion, that's fine. Thanks for your advice.

peekaboo2011 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:d7891fbb-892e-4cd1-bef0-8da9d10fd04a">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Your Opinion. : If that's your opinion, that's fine. Thanks for your advice.
Posted by lindseyandzach2014[/QUOTE]

<div>As I tried to tell you in that other thread, Linger really has a point. At 19 you have NO IDEA what life is like outside of school. You should travel, learn about who you are as a person, and figure out what you want out of life, without any other person attached to you. You will never get these years back, and once you're married, and have kids and a career, you're going to wish that you had gone to college, studied abroad, and had a life of your own. Independent of your parents. Or your boyfriend. Or your husband.</div>

lls31 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_your-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0ef63b7f-ba25-40f0-87bb-6fd42572a644Post:047e63ab-ce2b-461f-b110-682d1129f929">Re: Your Opinion.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Your Opinion. : As I tried to tell you in that other thread, Linger really has a point. At 19 you have NO IDEA what life is like outside of school. You should travel, learn about who you are as a person, and figure out what you want out of life, without any other person attached to you. You will never get these years back, and once you're married, and have kids and a career, you're going to wish that you had gone to college, studied abroad, and had a life of your own. Independent of your parents. Or your boyfriend. Or your husband.
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

<div>OP - this is excellent advice. </div>

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