Wedding Etiquette Forum

So it begins...

First, I'll start with our RSVPing is only electronic via our website which I thought would cut out some of the headache people always tell me - people writing in guests/children that were not invited. We are doing an adults only reception and trying to keep it small so only people who have been in relationships at least 3 months were getting their sig other invited... my 1st cousins who are all in their 40s and some older family members who are divorced/widowed who shouldn't travel alone get the generic "and guest." We would also give a guest if someone really didn't know anyone else there.I have already had drama with one friend who broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago and wanted me to give her a +1 so she could find someone to split the hotel and car rental so she could stay at the beach (she knows other people at the wedding and has a free place to stay and friends with cars... she just wanted to stay at the hotel). But we set the lines and rules and I made it clear no one guest is more important than another and I can't make exceptions for one and not another.

I got my first RSVP! It was one of the ushers it was all very exciting until I get this message immediately after: "To whom this may concern I will be bringing a guest. Contact me if this is an issue. Thank you!" 
Really? It would have been nice if he had at least asked instead of just said it like that. My FI said he would handle it but now I'm a stress ball until he calls him back. I once had a bride tell me people were pulling so much of this kind of stuff she refused to check her mail and made her FI do it. Now I dread my email.
image
«1

Re: So it begins...

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:fd98cdf1-9496-4bf1-9164-4b04205fe1d2">So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]First, I'll start with our RSVPing is only electronic via our website which I thought would cut out some of the headache people always tell me - people writing in guests/children that were not invited. <strong>We are doing an adults only reception and trying to keep it small so only people who have been in relationships at least 3 months were getting their sig other invited.</strong>.. my 1st cousins who are all in their 40s and some older family members who are divorced/widowed who shouldn't travel alone get the generic "and guest." We would also give a guest if someone really didn't know anyone else there.I have already had drama with one friend who broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago and wanted me to give her a +1 so she could find someone to split the hotel and car rental so she could stay at the beach (she knows other people at the wedding and has a free place to stay and friends with cars... she just wanted to stay at the hotel). But we set the lines and rules and I made it clear no one guest is more important than another and I can't make exceptions for one and not another. I got my first RSVP! It was one of the ushers it was all very exciting until I get this message immediately after: " To whom this may concern I will be bringing a guest. Contact me if this is an issue. Thank you!"  Really? It would have been nice if he had at least asked instead of just said it like that. My FI said he would handle it but now I'm a stress ball until he calls him back. I once had a bride tell me people were pulling so much of this kind of stuff she refused to check her mail and made her FI do it. Now I dread my email.
    Posted by FutureMrsMiller25[/QUOTE]
    Anyone who is in a relationship should be invited with a S/O.  <div>
    </div><div>Prepare for some declines if you decide to keep with your "rule".</div>
    image
  • edited February 2012
    Most of our friends are in relationships already and if we gave EVERYONE a guest then a lot of our friends just wouldn't have been invited. No one to our knowledge who didn't get a guest is in any sort of relationship. If it's someone making that rule that is their choice - all I can do is explain the size limit of the reception. One of the reasons I liked the save the date is I thought it would make it clear to people who was invited for planning purposes but I guess people don't really read into who is actually addressed on it.
    image
  • I think giving someone who wouldn't know anyone a plus 1 but not allowing someone to bring their SO of 2 months is a little unfair. :/

    I know I'm going to hate it when it comes time for my RSVP's, but there will always be extras and no-shows...it's kind of the risk you take with a wedding. That being said, if there's a clearer cut off for plus ones it's a lot easier to be more firm about extra guests being added.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:4ab53400-6668-428d-b920-19f9172bb5fe">Re: So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Most of our friends are in relationships already and if we gave EVERYONE a guest then a lot of our friends just wouldn't have been invited. No one to our knowledge who didn't get a guest is in any sort of relationship. </strong>If it's someone making that rule that is their choice - all I can do is explain the size limit of the reception. One of the reasons I liked the save the date is I thought it would make it clear to people who was invited for planning purposes but I guess people don't really read into who is actually addressed on it.
    Posted by FutureMrsMiller25[/QUOTE]

    These two sentences contradict one another.
    Seriously though, you cannot judge how serious peoples relationships are.  FI and I knew a month into our relationship that we wanted to marry eachother some day.  If someone had invited him or I to a wedding without the other, we would have been declining and seriously reassessing our friendships with those people.  You are inviting guests.  Part of being a good hostess to these guests is to accomodate them and their SO's.  I know it sucks when you already set limits, but you need to either invite them, or cut the list down.  But also remember, STD=invite.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:4ab53400-6668-428d-b920-19f9172bb5fe">Re: So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Most of our friends are in relationships already and if we gave EVERYONE a guest then a lot of our friends just wouldn't have been invited. No one to our knowledge who didn't get a guest is in any sort of relationship.<strong> If it's someone making that rule that is their choice - all I can do is explain the size limit of the reception</strong>. One of the reasons I liked the save the date is I thought it would make it clear to people who was invited for planning purposes but I guess people don't really read into who is actually addressed on it.
    Posted by FutureMrsMiller25[/QUOTE]
    The rule of people not getting guests unless they were in a relationship longer than three months? <div>
    </div><div>Your guest didn't make that rule. You did. </div>
    image
  • People who are not in serious relationships are not required to get a guest. We made a general rule and cut off to explain to people who may ask and so we're not playing favorites. A lot of people are in relationships already that we are inviting - probably the majority - but of course we have friends that are not in relationships. Except for the friend I mentioned above all I have spoken with on my side about it are very understanding and fine with it bc they know people there. No one was invited on their own that doesn't know anyone else there. This person who invited their guest is traveling with their entire family.
    image
  • <div>We have NO idea who this person is... if he was in a relationship my FI would know so we're thinking random pal. If it's suddenly revealed there's this serious relationship of course we would re evaluate... </div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:e8ad1574-8fc4-4ba0-b9d4-12af7f58042e">Re: So it begins...</a>:<div>[QUOTE]So does this usher have a newer SO or is he just bringing a random pal? If it's a girlfriend you should let him bring her. If it's just a random pal, you should let your FI tell him "Sorry, invitation was just for usher, extras can't be accomdated."
    Posted by KindaSparkly[/QUOTE]

    </div>
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:f62a6ac2-c100-4ee6-8ba2-3542c658c027">Re: So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So it begins... : These two sentences contradict one another. Seriously though, you cannot judge how serious peoples relationships are.  FI and I knew a month into our relationship that we wanted to marry eachother some day.  If someone had invited him or I to a wedding without the other, we would have been declining and seriously reassessing our friendships with those people.  You are inviting guests.  Part of being a good hostess to these guests is to accomodate them and their SO's.  I know it sucks when you already set limits, but you need to either invite them, or cut the list down.  <strong>But also remember, STD=invite.</strong>
    Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

    <div>Everyone who got a "+1" had it written on their STD... people who were not getting a guest did not have it written on the STD.. just their name. Anyone who had was in a serious relationship had that peron's name specifically on the save the date. Like I said only older relatives got the generic and guest.</div>
    image
  • <div>I was saying if someone made their own personal rule they wouldn't come unless they get a guest that's their choice... wasn't referring to our 3 month rule.</div><div>
    </div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:4e5061ff-7d5e-4e28-8feb-d0a1c7e4c03c">Re: So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So it begins... : The rule of people not getting guests unless they were in a relationship longer than three months?  Y<strong>our guest didn't make that rule. You did. </strong>
    Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:973c64a3-2025-4805-9b4e-d3391e8e6714">Re: So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>People who are not in serious relationships are not required to get a guest. We made a general rule and cut off to explain to people who may ask </strong>and so we're not playing favorites. A lot of people are in relationships already that we are inviting - probably the majority - but of course we have friends that are not in relationships. Except for the friend I mentioned above all I have spoken with on my side about it are very understanding and fine with it bc they know people there. No one was invited on their own that doesn't know anyone else there. This person who invited their guest is traveling with their entire family.
    Posted by FutureMrsMiller25[/QUOTE]
    Etiquette aside, you can't judge the serious-ness of someone else's relationship.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:4ab53400-6668-428d-b920-19f9172bb5fe">Re: So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Most of our friends are in relationships already and if we gave EVERYONE a guest then <strong>a lot of our friends just wouldn't have been invited</strong>. No one to our knowledge who didn't get a guest is in any sort of relationship. <strong>If it's someone making that rule that is their choice</strong> - all I can do is explain the size limit of the reception. One of the reasons I liked the save the date is I thought it would make it clear to people who was invited for planning purposes but I guess people don't really read into who is actually addressed on it.
    Posted by FutureMrsMiller25[/QUOTE]

    <div>First bolded part: yes that is what happens when you ensure guests can bring their SO, you have to start cutting people. It's not fair, but it's also not fair that you've come up with an arbitrary 3 month rule. It's not up to you to judge when a relationship is 'real'. </div><div>
    </div><div>Crash - I think she means the rule about inviting guests who are in a relationship, regardless of the timeframe, ie proper etiquette that she is ignoring. </div>
    Photobucket
  • It may not be my right to judge the seriousness and it is their right to decide not to come. But it is my right to choose who I can fit into my reception hall and pay for their meal and drinks.
    image
  • edited February 2012
    Someone please find me the etiquette that says every single person has to be able to bring a guest - yes it is nice if you can do so but please show me anywhere that says it is required.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:2d636e49-c74e-49fb-bd1d-6b1fbd5561a0">Re: So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]It may not be my right to judge the seriousness and it is their right to decide not to come. <strong>But it is my right to choose who I can fit into my reception hall and pay for their meal and drinks.</strong>
    Posted by FutureMrsMiller25[/QUOTE]
    *snort* <div>Wow...</div>
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:e6eb5ae1-02f8-4f32-a0d9-7218187d3af4">Re: So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Someone<strong> please find me the etiquette that says every single person has to be able to bring a guest </strong>- yes it is nice if you can do so but please show me anywhere that says it is required.
    Posted by FutureMrsMiller25[/QUOTE]
    No one is saying every single guest but every single guest in a relationship regardless of the time frame should get a +1.
    image
  • I love arbitrary rules. All guests in a relationship when the invites go out (6-8 weeks before the wedding) should be invited with their SO. I also feel as though everyone in the WP (including ushers) should be allowed a +1 even if they are not in a relationship. 
    image
  • <div>He's not in a relationship. That's the point.</div><div>
    </div>n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:bf2b8e8e-1186-4631-b128-e5458fca87ea">Re: So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So it begins... : No one is saying every single guest but every single guest in a relationship regardless of the time frame should get a +1.
    Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]
    image
  • This seems like a moot point bc it sounds like you've already sent out the invites. You're right that you can choose who to invite, but if that person is part of a social unit (i read that as a committed relationship, regardless of time) you have to invite both ppl. And yeah the #s add up fast. My FI and I will have to make cuts because we can't accomodate more than 200 ppl, it's frustrating but thems the breaks. 
    Photobucket
  • edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:0fbde784-9ea5-45b2-bea7-026f09df9a95">Re: So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]He's not in a relationship. That's the point. n Response to Re: So it begins... :
    Posted by FutureMrsMiller25[/QUOTE]

    <div>I think ppl are responding to your 3 month rule, not that your friend requested a +1 like that. I think it's rude of that guy and whomever is closer (FI or you) have to contact him to let him know there's been a misunderstanding. </div><div>
    </div><div>ETA: read too fast and did not realize he's an usher...usually ppl extend +1's to members of the wp, including ushers....</div>
    Photobucket
  • <div>Thanks. I know the 3 month rule sounds arbitray. We took it off of other couples that got married before us. It was more so to keep from people last minute trying to add on people or ask us if they can bring the random chick they met at the bar last week. </div><div>
    </div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:fda8cd69-e620-47d1-8b25-70233b652a5f">Re: So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So it begins... : I think ppl are responding to your 3 month rule, not that your friend requested a +1 like that. I think it's rude of that guy and whomever is closer (FI or you) have to contact him to let him know there's been a misunderstanding. 
    Posted by Jaridds68[/QUOTE]
    image
  • No one is saying that you MUST give everyone a plus 1.  How would you feel if you were invited to a wedding without your FI simply because that was their rule?  Sometimes your guests may not have the same thinking and mentality towards things as you do.  What you may think is fair, others consider rude and tacky.  I would just think it would be best to invite all SOs of your guests if they have one.  As PPs have said, you can not judge the seriousness of someone else's relationship.  Someone who has been together for a month could very well be more serious that someone who have been together for 4 months so why should the couple of 4 months be allowed to come together and the couple together for one be told no?

    I do agree, that if your usher does not have a SO that it is not right of him to just state that he is bringing a guest with him instead of asking, so yes..I can understand your frustration there, just calm down and wait for your FI to talk to him and take it from there.  Don't start letting these things get to you and stressing you out.  If your FI said he would take care of it, then trust that he will.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Photobucket
  • I'm a little awed by the balls it would take to ask someone to work your wedding and then not let them bring a guest, relationship or no.
  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2012
    ditto PPs that the three month rule is bull.  If the usher doesn't have a gf you have every right to nicely explain that the invitation was only for him (although like PP it's generally considered a nice gesture to offer +1s to your WP, regardless of relationship status).  It sounds like your FI is already taking care of this, so I don't know why you're so upset about it.  If more guests add on notes like this you can continue to handle them case by case, singles like your usher don't need a guest; but if someone wants to bring their bf of 2 months (or 2 days) you should apologize for your oversight and invite them. 
  • edited February 2012
    Okay okay lol No one who didn't get a +1 is in a relationship. I promise. No worries. And I know some people think that everyone in the wedding party should get a date but again it's not something required - but I agree it is nice if able to be offered. For myself I hate bringing a date if I'm in the wedding party - I never see them Worse, I hate being that date! Everyone who is in a relationship - that person IS invited. I can name all the "single" people on my hands and there are no new budding romances. The reason I got worked up is I already dealt with a friend who is not in a relationship wanting to be given a general +1 with no idea who she would bring just because she wanted to make a beach vacation out of it - and not stay with our friends and she went absolute crazy on me about it and my parents trying to add on random 2nd cousins. The adds ons were already driving me nuts and I thought I was done with it. If someone appears with a relationship we did not know about I'll take everyone's comments/opinions on this thread into consideration. Thank you!
    image
  • edited February 2012
    It sounds like, thankfully, your random 3 month rule will not be eliminating anyone's SOs. If it did, I would highly suggest re-thinking it.

    Although it isn't required to give truly single guests a +1, if they won't know anybody else at the wedding, it is kind to do so. It would suck going to a wedding alone and only knowing the bride and groom, who you won't be with that much. We personally let all our WP members bring guests since they were doing so much for us by being a part of our wedding. Some single ones chose to bring a guest, and some didn't. Just because YOU don't enjoy being in a WP and bringing a guest doesn't mean they wouldn't.

    Although it was rude of the usher to write that, I might reconsider letting him bring a guest since it sounds like he really wants to. It might be a nice gesture, since is helping with your wedding and all. We had one person total RSVP for a guest when they weren't invited with one (a completely single 19 year old family friend of H's who was invited with his family). For us, it wasn't a battle to be fought, so we didn't say anything and let him bring his female friend (they were not dating). Sometimes you have to pick your battles. Now if you invited 50 single people and each one wants a guest, I think that's a different story.


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:d8ddc4e2-39ef-4575-93e0-7501075ae7e0">Re: So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Okay okay lol No one who didn't get a +1 is in a relationship. I promise. No worries. And I know some people think that everyone in the wedding party should get a date but again it's not something required - but I agree it is nice if able to be offered. For myself I hate bringing a date if I'm in the wedding party - I never see them Worse, I hate being that date! Everyone who is in a relationship - that person IS invited. I can name all the "single" people on my hands and there are no new budding romances. The reason I got worked up is I already dealt with a friend who is not in a relationship wanting to be given a general +1 with no idea who she would bring just because she wanted to make a beach vacation out of it - and not stay with our friends and she went absolute crazy on me about it and my parents trying to add on random 2nd cousins. The adds ons were already driving me nuts and I thought I was done with it. If someone appears with a relationship we did not know about I'll take everyone's comments/opinions on this thread into consideration. Thank you!
    Posted by FutureMrsMiller25[/QUOTE]

    You are backtracking so hardcore right now.  First you say people have to be in a relationship for 3 months to have their SO invited and you said IF you invited all SO's, you wouldn't have the room.  Now you say that all SO's are invited?

    Bottom line: If someone has a SO when the invitations go out, whether it be 10 years, or 10 days, you need to invite them because you cannot determine the seriousness of your relationship.  You sound extremely snotty when you say they can decline the invitation if they don't like your rule.  It makes you sound like a bridezilla who couldn't give two shits less about her guests and their comfort.
  • I said I couldn't give everyone a generic "and guest." Every single person who has a SO has been in a relationship for so long it hasn't been an issue. That significant other was invited specifically by name. Again, as I said above if a relationship that didn't exist appears before the wedding I will take into consideration what you guys have said. No more lectures needed, thanks!
    image
  • <div>I agree and if a person knew no one else we would give them a guest... I really only have one friend that is the case but she has a steady boyfriend so she is bringing him. If she had been single I would have given her a guest.</div><div>
    </div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:bacab996-07c1-492c-8048-f5eab4cd1e70">Re: So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]It sounds like, thankfully, your random 3 month rule will not be eliminating anyone's SOs. If it did, I would highly suggest re-thinking it. Although it isn't required to give truly single guests a +1,<strong> if they won't know anybody else at the wedding, it is kind to do so.</strong> We personally let all our WP members bring guests since they were doing so much for us by being a part of our wedding. Some single ones chose to bring a guest, and some didn't. Just because YOU don't enjoy being in a WP and bringing a guest doesn't mean they wouldn't. Although it was rude of the usher to write that, I might reconsider letting him bring a guest since it sounds like he really wants to. It might be a nice gesture, since is helping with your wedding and all. We had one person total RSVP for a guest when they weren't invited with one (a completely single 19 year old family friend of H's who was invited with his family). For us, it wasn't a battle to be fought, so we didn't say anything and let him bring his female friend (they were not dating). Sometimes you have to pick your battles. Now if you invited 50 single people and each one wants a guest, I think that's a different story.<div>Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

    </div>
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:e6eb5ae1-02f8-4f32-a0d9-7218187d3af4">Re: So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Someone please find me the etiquette that says every single person has to be able to bring a guest - yes it is nice if you can do so but please show me anywhere that says it is required.
    Posted by FutureMrsMiller25[/QUOTE]

    Its not about people just bringing guests. Truly single people do not need a guest but it is proper etiquette to give any one in <strong>a relationship</strong>, regardless of the "seriousness", a plus 1, or even better, to find out the name of thier SO and out it on the invitation specifically.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • <div>I agree if you know no one you should get a guest - this isn't really a problem for anyone but one person and they have a boyfriend we directly invited by name. Thanks!</div><div>
    </div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-it-begins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:852980cd-b1cd-458e-bbfa-bf8f46f52bcbPost:bacab996-07c1-492c-8048-f5eab4cd1e70">Re: So it begins...</a>:
    [QUOTE]It sounds like, thankfully, your random 3 month rule will not be eliminating anyone's SOs. If it did, I would highly suggest re-thinking it. <strong>Although it isn't required to give truly single guests a +1, if they won't know anybody else at the wedding, it is kind to do so</strong>. It would suck going to a wedding alone and only knowing the bride and groom, who you won't be with that much. We personally let all our WP members bring guests since they were doing so much for us by being a part of our wedding. Some single ones chose to bring a guest, and some didn't. Just because YOU don't enjoy being in a WP and bringing a guest doesn't mean they wouldn't. Although it was rude of the usher to write that, I might reconsider letting him bring a guest since it sounds like he really wants to. It might be a nice gesture, since is helping with your wedding and all. We had one person total RSVP for a guest when they weren't invited with one (a completely single 19 year old family friend of H's who was invited with his family). For us, it wasn't a battle to be fought, so we didn't say anything and let him bring his female friend (they were not dating). Sometimes you have to pick your battles. Now if you invited 50 single people and each one wants a guest, I think that's a different story.
    Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]
    image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards