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Dad/Step-Dad

MrAndMrsBishop0115MrAndMrsBishop0115 member
First Comment
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Okay, so my parents got divorced when I was really young and he moved across the country. My mom remarried when I was 3 and my step dad has raised me. I call him dad and my real dad by his first name. He has been in my life but not very much. He doesn't know much about me and it is always very awkward when we talk. Now all of a sudden, he wants to spend all this money and contribute to my wedding (which i'm not complaining about). But now I am stuck because I know he is going to want to be a part of it. My step dad has said that he is okay with both of them walking me down but that is not what I want. I've considered having him walk me half way and then hand me over to my step dad but i don't know if that is tacky. And then there is the issue of father daughter dances.....i would appreciate any pointers!!! Thanks ladies!
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Re: Dad/Step-Dad

  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Can you have your mom escort you down the aisle? Otherwise, just walk with your dad OR your stepdad, but avoid the awkward "handoff" if at all possible. Try not to make a big deal of it.

    I agree to not accept money from your bio dad BEFORE the wedding or payment for wedding-related things (venue, flowers, etc). If he chooses, he can give a monetary gift on your wedding day.

    The dances are tough, especially since so many couples have at least one difficult family situation to deal with. Remember, they are not required, and more couples are not having any at all. If navigating your way through the spotlight dances is going to cause you undue strife, than just skip them!
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  • pink34562000pink34562000 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    For your first dance, you can pick two songs. One song for your step dad and another song for your bio dad.

    As for walking down the isle if you don't want both of them to walk you, you can have your mom walk you or a brother or walk by yourself. It wouldn't be a good idea to choose one of your dads because the other one may feel hurt.
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  • MrAndMrsBishop0115MrAndMrsBishop0115 member
    First Comment
    Thank you for all the suggestions! Its a year away so I have time to think about it :)
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  • KellyBrian2013KellyBrian2013
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_dadstep-dad-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:94ba8c60-9ff9-4707-8de3-8bb622b2e02dPost:f7dbf224-9990-403e-b501-e1abb4f03148">Re: Dad/Step-Dad</a>:
    [QUOTE]Can you have your mom escort you down the aisle? Otherwise,<strong> just walk with your dad OR your stepdad, but avoid the awkward "handoff" if at all possible.</strong> Try not to make a big deal of it. I agree to not accept money from your bio dad BEFORE the wedding or payment for wedding-related things (venue, flowers, etc). If he chooses, he can give a monetary gift on your wedding day. The dances are tough, especially since so many couples have at least one difficult family situation to deal with. Remember, they are not required, and more couples are not having any at all. If navigating your way through the spotlight dances is going to cause you undue strife, than just skip them!
    Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

    I had my stepfather and father walk me down the aisle with a handoff in the middle, and it was anything but awkward. It was one of the most special moments of the ceremony to me (honoring BOTH men who raised me) and we had a TON of people comment on how touching it was to see both of them involved in such a meaningful way.
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  • MrAndMrsBishop0115MrAndMrsBishop0115 member
    First Comment
    Hey Ladies, sorry it's been a while...

    I like the idea of the handoff. I don't think it is awkward at all and I really think my real dad would understand because he knows more than anybody how much he was not nvolved in raising me....and my step dad has already said that he would be okay with both of them walking me.
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