Is not inviting children rude?

Lilstarfish13 · January 2010

We just got engaged and our wedding isnt until April of 2011. However we are having a somewhat small (50-75) destination wedding so it's never to early to start planning:-) We have a pretty good guest list put together...not including children. My finace says this might make people upset and not come if they cant bring their children. I am on the other end, but dont want to be rude. So is it rude not to invite children?

AmoroAgain · January 2010

If it's a true destination wedding, it would be difficult for a lot of people to arrange for child care for several days. Now, this doesn't mean the kids have to be at the wedding-- just that you can't put limits on them not even going to the "venue"... if that makes sense.

crfische · January 2010

I didn't invite children and most of them really annoy me at weddings.

Some people will get offended. Most people will understand.

Mrs.B6302007 · January 2010

It's not rude as long as the cut off is "even", meaning you can't invite your cousin's kids and not his. The trick with DW is that a lot of people probably won't travel without their kids if the DW is in a location that would be considered a regular family trip. If it's a tropical island, people would probably look at it differently because they might take advantage of the kid-free getaway weekend. If people throw a fit and say they won't come, you tell them you'll miss them.

skits_1 · January 2010

It might be difficult for people to make the trip without their children. But it's your decision in the end if you want kids or not. I think you can arrange a babysitter at the destination for the kids while the adults party.

Mrs.B6302007 · January 2010

The babysitter is a good suggestion but I highly doubt that most parents are going to leave their kids with an out of town stranger.

lyndausvi · January 2010

I only invited my nieces and nephews to my OOT wedding. No one thought much about it because it's the norm in my circle.

The only question I have is who are these kids, how many are we talking about?

for example if I added kids past my nieces and nephews I go from 7 to 60 kids. Not happening. Now if adding kids only added a couple, then I might have thought about adding them.

Lilstarfish13 · January 2010

Thanks everyone for the feedback! I guess I need to sit down and see how many children it would actually be. And off the top of my head it's friend's children. Ha doesnt seem like family has little ones. I will have my niece, lil cousin and nephew in the bridal party. For me I think it's trying to keep the list down for budget reasons and I do get annoyed with children at weddings. :-/

katiepoppy · January 2010

To add to what Mrs.B said, I had a family member bride request that her infant niece and toddler nephew come to her DW. Her sister basically said, "I will not brining these small kids to the wedding - they are staying home and my husband and I will have a relaxing vacation". She basically saw no reason for children that will not remember the event to attend. Then family brawl ensued, etc. I am sure this is very rare, but you may find that your siblings don't want to bring the nieces/nephews you noted above, depending on their age.

flutgrl1 · January 2010

Children screaming during a ceremony is rude and something I wanted to avoid. People attended our destination wedding w/o kids. They found sitters or family to leave their child with. Or they just didn't attend. My thought ...you spawn you deal.

Catwoman708 · January 2010

It is not technically rude to invite adults only to any event. The guest list is totally up to the hosts, and to question the guest list or complain about it IS rude.

Yet, people will still sometimes be offended if their children aren't invited, and cause a big stink. Some possible answers to inquiries/complaints about no children, "I'm sorry, it's not a child friendly venue", "So sorry, we have to keep the guest list very small", or "I'm so sorry you won't be able to attend. We will miss you".

By having a destination wedding, fewer guests will be able to attend, with or without children. I would venture to guess that the need to travel will deter more guests than whether you include the children or not.

Just curious, about how many guests are you inviting, vs. how many families with children are invited?

Lilstarfish13 · January 2010

catwoman- we are inviting about 90 people and i would say about 4 or 5 have children.

Is not inviting children rude?

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