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Wedding Etiquette Forum
selfish etiquette related vent/plea
I know that it is entirely selfish to want people to wear something nicer than jeans to my wedding. But I still want it! I am having too many people tell me that they are wearing jeans or "dressy denim" (WTF?) to our wedding. I reeeeaally would like them to wear something nicer.
I know that I am not allowed to request certain attire. I know that I just have to "focus on what really matters." and yes, we will still be married at the end of the day. I'm not trying to say otherwise. I just wish that a wedding fairy would bonk them in their heads with her touch-o-class-wand.
I know that I am not allowed to request certain attire. I know that I just have to "focus on what really matters." and yes, we will still be married at the end of the day. I'm not trying to say otherwise. I just wish that a wedding fairy would bonk them in their heads with her touch-o-class-wand.
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Re: selfish etiquette related vent/plea
But you know Jill is right -- some people insist on underdressing for events, but there really isn't anything you can do about it but take heart in the fact that they look silly.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
Just trying to figure out why you're getting this respons concerning guests fashion.
More info please
[QUOTE]How does one get into a conversation about what guests will be wearing to her wedding? That's a conversation I didn't have with anyone but my mom and MIL prior to the wedding. I always wonder how a bride comes to know what her guests (other than WP and close family) are planning to wear to her wedding.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]
My boss has talking about what she's going to wear for a few weeks now... She brought the shoes she bought just for my wedding to the office to show me. So it happens.
[QUOTE]How does one get into a conversation about what guests will be wearing to her wedding? That's a conversation I didn't have with anyone but my mom and MIL prior to the wedding. I always wonder how a bride comes to know what her guests (other than WP and close family) are planning to wear to her wedding.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]
I had conversations with all sorts of people about what they were wearing. I didn't bring it up, but other people did -- either to confirm that they were at the "right" level of dressiness or to discuss that they'd bought a dress or were looking for one or that their DH was wearing a tux or not wearing a tux, etc. In my experience, it's pretty common to discuss what people will be wearing.
OP, I don't see anything wrong with letting someone know that the wedding is more formal than jeans if they bring it up to you in the first place.
edit for poor grammar
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
This would give the guests an idea of the level of formality.
[QUOTE]I think we're in the minority. We're actually requesting that people dress down for ours. Shorts and sandals are fine with us. To me, it's about people being comfortable. I don't understand why they need to dress up for our wedding?? But like I said, I think we're in the minority! LOL
Posted by bczican77[/QUOTE]
that's great! really. i've enjoyed quite a few casual weddings. but all weddings are different and many people find it to be one of few occasions for a bit of formality in a casual world. :) myself included.
[QUOTE]Have you sent out invites yet? I receive invites all the time with "cocktail attire", "black tie optional", "white tie" on them. This would give the guests an idea of the level of formality.
Posted by elizabeth121985[/QUOTE]
No. The style of your invitation itself is supposed to give guests an idea of the formality of your event. Unless you're having it at a place that requires a certain type of dress (like sports coats for men), you don't need to mention any type of dress on the invitations.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: selfish etiquette related vent/plea : No. The style of your invitation itself is supposed to give guests an idea of the formality of your event. Unless you're having it at a place that requires a certain type of dress (like sports coats for men), you don't need to mention any type of dress on the invitations.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]
The reason those guidelines were listed is because they were at venues where a certain type of dress was required. i.e. at most country clubs you can't enter with jeans on.
Other than that, if someone wore jeans, I didn't see it, or don't remember.
Books read in 2012: 21/50
[QUOTE]Have you sent out invites yet? I receive invites all the time with "cocktail attire", "black tie optional", "white tie" on them. This would give the guests an idea of the level of formality.
Posted by elizabeth121985[/QUOTE]
First of all, this is wrong except for black tie.
Second of all, you go to white tie events? Can we be friends? Will you invite me? Who has white tie events anymore? Do you go to tons of debutante balls? State dinners have even been dropped down to black tie by Obama.
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: selfish etiquette related vent/plea : No. The style of your invitation itself is supposed to give guests an idea of the formality of your event. Unless you're having it at a place that requires a certain type of dress (like sports coats for men), you don't need to mention any type of dress on the invitations.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]
Also, I personally appreciate when such a line is printed. This way I know: okay, I need to wear a fun sundress because a full gown would be too much; or that I need to wear a formal gown because the reception is going to be in a ballroom, etc
That's just my personal two cents though
The only exception is if you are getting married at a venue with their own dress code, in which case, you should inform your guests of that. However, I doubt even the most uptight venues would turn a guest away for not following the code to the T.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: selfish etiquette related vent/plea : First of all, this is wrong except for black tie. Second of all, you go to white tie events? Can we be friends? Will you invite me? Who has white tie events anymore? Do you go to tons of debutante balls? State dinners have even been dropped down to black tie by Obama.
Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]
haha you're cracking me up. i've been to several deb balls and they have all been white tie.
[QUOTE]I mentioned this to someone on my month board, but<strong> if you have someone who thinks jeans is appropriate to wear to a wedding, they will probably still do so no matter how much you mention 'cocktail' or 'semi-formal' attire</strong> so it's really something you are just going to have to let go. The only exception is if you are getting married at a venue with their own dress code, in which case, you should inform your guests of that. However, I doubt even the most uptight venues would turn a guest away for not following the code to the T.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]
unfortunately this is probably going to be the case with said guests
1. F-step-MIL has sent me 15 pictures of 15 dresses asking my opinion (this was after I indicated that I didn't want to make a cross-country trip solely to go dress shopping with her, either for my dress or for her dress). She then invited herself to my bachelorette party AND the shower my mom is throwing for me.
2. FMIL has informed me that she wants to wear her OWN wedding dress to our wedding. We're talking full-on, ivory satin ball gown with a chapel train. Oh, but she will be taking off the train for our wedding, as per her latest email.
Kill me.
[QUOTE]2. FMIL has informed me that she wants to wear her OWN wedding dress to our wedding. We're talking full-on, ivory satin ball gown with a chapel train. Oh, but she will be taking off the train for our wedding, as per her latest email. Kill me.
Posted by shanshiegirl[/QUOTE]
Well if it's any consolation she's going to look like a fuucking idiot.
[QUOTE] 2. FMIL has informed me that she wants to wear her OWN wedding dress to our wedding. We're talking full-on, ivory satin ball gown with a chapel train. Oh, but she will be taking off the train for our wedding, as per her latest email. Kill me.
Posted by shanshiegirl[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>WOW. She sounds crazy. I can't even imagine that. I feel for you!
</div>
Seems to be jeans, extra large shirt and dirt baseball caps seems to be the dressy attire to her.
Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. -Bob Marley
[QUOTE] 2. FMIL has informed me that she wants to wear her OWN wedding dress to our wedding. We're talking full-on, ivory satin ball gown with a chapel train. Oh, but she will be taking off the train for our wedding, as per her latest email. Kill me.
Posted by shanshiegirl[/QUOTE]
:O Mary mother of God you've got to be joking. That's when you elope or accidentally leave mother-in-law tied up in a closet until the wedding is over.....