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Advice needed - can you uninvite ppl who got save the dates?

Hi All!

When my fiance and I picked our wedding date he was so excited he sent save the dates to all his 'close' friends. Now, 7 months later, I'm getting the invitations ready and have realized he hasn't seen a few of those friends in months.

What's the etiquette here? He says if he hadn't sent them a save the date, he wouldn't be inviting them. Should we still be inviting them? I'm torn because we're asking ppl to travel for the wedding, which is a lot to ask when a friendship has cooled. They might be a bit ticked they're being asked to our wedding when he hasn't been spending any time with them; on the other hand, they might be ticked if they don't get an invitation as they did get a save the date.

I learned a valuable lesson and have passed it along to my newly engaged sister!

Thanks for any advice :)

Re: Advice needed - can you uninvite ppl who got save the dates?

  • Anyone who gets a STD is invited to the wedding.  No ifs ands or buts.  If the friendships have cooled, they may RSVP no.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • No, that would be extremely rude.  The entire purpose of a STD is to let them know that a wedding is happening and to expect a formal invitation.

     

  • I would be beyond confused if I recieved a STD to a wedding and it didn't get followed up by an invitation. You have to invite these people, cooled friendships or not. Like PP said, they have the choice to RSVP no.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    The answer to your question is yes, it is every rude to uninvite people who have received STDs.  STDs are basically informal wedding invitations.

  • No!  Disinviting after you sent a STD is rude!

    Anniversary
  • It's extremely rude to not invite people after sending them STDs.  Is the only reason that you don't want to invite them becuase you haven't seen them in a few months?  That's no reason to uninvite them from your wedding.  I have several close friends who I haven't seen in months due to schedules etc and I would never consider not inviting them to my wedding.  Bottom line: if they received STDs, they should be invited to the wedding.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • You must invite these friends because you sent them STDs. If they also feel the relationship is cooled, they will probably decline and won't be "ticked" to have been invited. Leave it up to them to attend or not.
    Due 10/21/13 with our first baby BabyFruit Ticker
  • lls31lls31 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to Advice needed - can you uninvite ppl who got save the dates?:
    [QUOTE]Hi All! When my fiance and I picked our wedding date he was so excited he sent save the dates to all his 'close' friends. Now, 7 months later, I'm getting the invitations ready and have realized he hasn't seen a few of those friends in months. What's the etiquette here? He says if he hadn't sent them a save the date, he wouldn't be inviting them. Should we still be inviting them? I'm torn because we're asking ppl to travel for the wedding, which is a lot to ask when a friendship has cooled. They might be a bit ticked they're being asked to our wedding when he hasn't been spending any time with them; on the other hand, they might be ticked if they don't get an invitation as they did get a save the date. I learned a valuable lesson and have passed it along to my newly engaged sister! Thanks for any advice :)
    Posted by jluchuck[/QUOTE]

    Since you sent them STDs, you are required to send them invitations.  Since the friendships have cooled and they are OOT, it's likely that they won't come anyway.
    21811_10151174643987291_1046283999_n_zpsddfa358c Anniversary BabyFruit Ticker
  • You must invite everyone that got a STD
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Yes, they must get an invite if they got a STD. If you're not super close anymore, chances are they won't come, especially if they have to travel. 

    This is exactly why we didn't send STDs. We just couldn't get the guest list figured out early enough.
  • Thanks everyone! You're right - we will send everyone who got STDs an invitation. It was/is a good lesson for me to pass on as advice to future wedding couples to just be aware of who's getting STDs :)

    Happy wedding to you all!!
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