Say Anything Wednesday

shortgirltx · April 2010

You're right bananna...all the schools over there have changed to his system.

I REALLY hope they don't hook the two up. However, I have read that in all the other versions of this show in other countries, that's how it ends up. But I hope the writers stay true and don't do what everyone else did. I thought it was hilarious last week how Daniel and the ditz said "irregardless"...we've had that discussion on the boards

shortgirltx · April 2010

I'm really tired of how the television networks are airing their shows. We have several weeks of reruns during March Madness (ok I get that) but then last week there was a new episode of NCIS and this week was a repeat. All this inconsistency is losing my interest in the shows

juliebug1997 · April 2010

I agree, Shortgirl. They showed four weeks of "Chuck", then the Olympics, they show six weeks of "Chuck" and now they're taking a three week hiatus.

Tiffany618 · April 2010

I agree about the shows. I rarely watch any of them anymore because I can't keep up.

Thanks for reminding me about Ugly Betty. I haven't watched it really for the last 2 seasons but I saw it last week and I am really excited to see it this week too.

ChocolateDelight · April 2010

When in doubt, ask. Think before you speak. No one on this board has a monopoly on wedding etiquette and customs. This board is not monolothic and is made of up people from different backgrounds. We must all be mindful of the diversity we have on this board.

untsing · April 2010

Kudos to ChocolateDelight for using the word "monolithic."

That's all I have.

Mariah09202008 · April 2010

I agree, chocolate...but at the same time, when someone posts something that isn't of the "norm", we don't automatically think "Oh, that has to be a cultural thing". Sometimes reasons for doing something that seems unorthodox to others needs to be explained so that we can all understand. I'm glad you explained why you're sending out so many invites, but setting the guest list at a lower number-but I never would have even thought that there was a cultural reason behind it and I'm obviously not the only one. Of course, once you explained it, I was like, "Well that makes sense now, why didn't I think about that".

On a totally different subject-I can't wait for my weigh in tomorrow at WW. I'm really hoping for a 3 or 4 lb weight loss...but even if it's only a pound or two I'll be happy. I am really proud of myself for finally coming to terms with "oh...so maybe that's why if I eat that piece of cake, I can feel myself gain weight immediately". Seriously, I had this epiphany the other day when I was thinking about all the crap I was eating and wondering why I was gaining 2 lbs in one week. Duh, Mariah.

I'm also thinking about bringing some workout clothes to work tomorrow and during my lunch break going for a run. Sure, I may not smell so fresh and so clean after I get back...but hey, it beats sitting at a desk for an hour. It will probably give me some energy, too...I've been feeling pretty lethargic all day, every day at this desk.

Jay+Marissa · April 2010

I have NEVER missed an Ugly Betty episode and I am so sad it's ending tonight

I'm a Detty fan, though--happy about the direction it's going.

[Deleted User] · April 2010

I stand by my comment. ChocolateDelight did not originally state her reasoning for setting a limit of RSVPs as a culture thing, she presented it as a way of her "controlling" her guest list. She stated that she was making it the responsibility of the guest to make it onto the list as a "first come, first serve" basis.

It seemed rude to me at the time and it wasnt information that was necessary to help the original poster.

ChocolateDelight · April 2010

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but you can express that opinion without being rude or judgemental.   I am not asking for anyone to agree with everything I do or say, but please be kinder and sensitive in the way you express yourself to others on this board. It is okay to share opposing view points after all, that is probably the best way to learn about any issue and/or topic, but no bride should be subjected to nitpicking and catty comments about their wedding decisions.

This is supposed to be a board where brides can seek support and answers to their questions; and not for some people to pass judgement or personally attack others on their decisions.  This local board is supposed to be about wedding planning (including all the trials, tribulations and excitement). It is not supposed to be a forum to make people uncomfortable about sharing their ideas. If you want to be catty and cruel, there is a place on the Knot for you - it is called Snarky Brides.

Equally shameful and cowardly are those who stoke the flame by calling attention to the posts of others. In other words, they call in the clique to do their dirty work and hide behind the opinions of others.

For the many months I have been on this board, there are many things I could have said, but did not, because I would like to keep this board civil, polite and welcoming.   I occassionally comment on things that interest me directly or pertain to an issue I have experienced, otherwise I keep my opinions to myself.   I do not have to belong to the clique nor am I begging to be liked or be anybody's friend, but the least I expect is to be able to feel comfortable to express myself without others passing judgment.

almoyo · April 2010

Wah-wahhhhhhh.

I hate it when people get their panties in a wad.

ChocolateDelight · April 2010

I thought you could come up with a better retort than that and please keep your opinions off my tidy whities.

SarahandAlex2010 · April 2010

Chocolate Delight - I have to agree with you on the catty remarks and rude comments. Sometimes it almost seems when brides ask for questions or opinions they can get catty answers or feel unwelcomed because they are not part of the group/clique. Everybody does their planning differently and has reasons behind it but there are nicer ways to ask about it.

Kudos to Emi for asking her instead of posting in another post talking about her and having everybody else look while making remarks. It says alot about your character.

[Deleted User] · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_say-anything-wednesday-32?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:0d9e2e1f-9a93-4a68-88a8-15574f4165b5Post:19e36fb4-fda9-4d7b-95b6-f0c868ea12a2">Re: Say Anything Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]I thought you could come up with a better retort than that and please keep your opinions off my tidy whities.
Posted by ChocolateDelight[/QUOTE]

Just for the record it was not me who said the comment about getting you panties in a wad.

I believe you are making a way bigger deal out of this than it should be though. Its not an issue of people being nice on the board, or respecting your cultural difference.

Your original comment seemed flippant in regards to your guest making it into your wedding. If you had made the statement in your original comment that it was for cultural reasons rather then the "control" reason you presented there would not have been the astonished reaction there was from others on the board.

Mariah09202008 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_say-anything-wednesday-32?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:0d9e2e1f-9a93-4a68-88a8-15574f4165b5Post:d91c4c83-13c1-486b-9782-4b9cff58424d">Re: Say Anything Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Say Anything Wednesday : Just for the record it was not me who said the comment about getting you panties in a wad. I believe you are making a way bigger deal out of this than it should be though. Its not an issue of people being nice on the board, or respecting your cultural difference. Your original comment seemed flippant in regards to your guest making it into your wedding. If you had made the statement in your original comment that it was for cultural reasons rather then the "control" reason you presented there would not have been the astonished reaction there was from others on the board.
Posted by acholak[/QUOTE]I have to agree. I understand where you're coming from chocolate and I'm sorry that you feel like you were attacked....but to be quite honest I feel like this whole thing has been blown way out of proportion and you're taking it too personally. And I don't see anywhere on here where anyone attacked you.

Acholak hit the nail on the head. None of this would have even been discussed if you had disclosed a little more information towards your RSVP system in the first place. We don't know you and you don't know us and how are we to know that sending out 400 invites but setting the guest list at 250 is a cultural thing??? And I think most of us just wanted to understand. I don't think anyone was mean, we stated our concerns, you explained yourself, and then everything was understood.

I also have to address that I get kind of irritated when people expect that this board be roses and sunshine all the time. No one, whether we're friends in real life or not, are going to always agree with each other 100% all day/every day. Why expect that from a message board?? I may have the opinion that isn't the same as someone elses and I shouldn't have to walk on eggshells and not give my opinion if I don't agree. I think it's healthy to be able to express your opinions and have your own ideas. I think everyone should be respectful, yes...but do we all have to agree and get along? No. I certainly don't get along with every single person I meet for whatever reason-be it our personalities clash or what-have-you in real life (as I'm sure every.single.person on this board doesn't) and I don't expect to get along with everyone on this board because that's not realistic.

Anyways....after all that, I think it's just time to drop the subject. Thank you, chocolate, for explaining your reasonings behind your RSVP system, and thank you to everyone else who stated their opinions whether good or bad. I consider it a learning experience.

ChocolateDelight · April 2010

If anyone felt that my original post was flippant, they should have come out and said so. The comments and the posts that instigated this brouhaha all centered around the fact that I had the nerve to liimit my guest totals even though invitations will be mailed out to many more.   No one initially said that they felt my comment was flippant.

So let's not try to convolute the issue and crawfish around my subsequent post which touched on the fact that some ladies on this board are generally rude, insensitive and downright disrespectful.

For example, when I gave Steph an example of how I handled payment for a NWR event, it was declared "tacky."   We do not come from the same professional, educational, social and/or cultural circles. My way of handling things may not be your way of handling things, but it does not give anyone the right to pass judgment on my values or traditions.

A few weeks ago, another bride came on here and share her personal experience with Chelsea McGowan, she was chastised and censored for having a divergent opinion from the clique.

Yesterday, another bride posted about her positive experience with an etsy vendor, and she was accused of being a vendor even though the accuser had not taken the time to make sure that such an assertion was indeed factual.

Some of you may think that those catty and judgmental remarks are cute, but I do not. We are not in high school anymore nor do we have to think alike or do things the same way.   Moreover, I am not asking for any one's opinion nor do I want to be told how to act and/or think. If I wanted any one's opinion on any of my wedding plans, I would ask. But you have NEVER seen me post anything on this board asking for input.   Why??   Because I have been there, done that for 14 plus years and have the husband, ring and children to prove it.

There are alot of people on this board who choose to remain silent or who have contacted me privately to express their frustration.   I speak for the silent majority.

You can address your concerns about an issue without being disagreeable or judgmental. If you want to know the reasoning for some one's decision, simply ask them first before trying to pass judgment.

SarahandAlex2010 · April 2010

Very well said Chocolate Delight!!!! Not everybody has to agree with their decisions and this board does not have to be sunshines and rainbows but the cattiness and rude remarks should stop. I know not everybody gets along or shares the same opinions but we could atleast be a little more respectful. I think it was rude the way her choices were approached. Besides she was reponding the original poster on how she was handling her guest list, she wasn't asking for advice or opinions. It seemed before anybody wanted to "understand or were curious" they wanted to point out how her "wedding could be a disaster or a lottery wedding"

And I dont think she is making this into a big deal. Of course it seems that way because she is voicing her opinon and speaking up.

Mariah09202008 · April 2010

Sarah, the only reason I think this is being blown out of proportion is because she said she was being attacked and I truly don't feel that way at all. I think chocolate has been very graceful in the way she presents herself, not just today, but in all her posts, so I'm not trying to be rude at all. And, chocolate, if you felt like I was being rude, I'm sorry. Every post (that's been dealing with this subject) has been me typing in a reasonable tone. If I've come off as rude to you, I apologize. The internet is hard to get your "tone" across to people and I haven't meant to be rude.

And as I've said in the past with the whole Chelsea McGowan thing-that was a mistake and I apologized. I love how that was brought back up... People make mistakes, people jump to conclusions, people "assume" (like with the whole vendor thing), and usually those are all learning experiences and are handled better in the future.

ChocolateDelight · April 2010

Mariah - My comments regarding the Chelsea McGowan incident were not directed at you specifically, but rather at those who continued to castigate the knottie for her opinion even after you had apologized and clarified the rationale for your initial reaction. They kept on trying to question her reasoning, especially her reaction to how her child was treated. The Chelsea McGowan incident is just one of few examples which I was trying to use to illustrate how some on this board try to impose their views on others. It may have been a bad example to highlight, and if I offended you, I sincerely apologize. In no way was I trying to minimize the significance of your apology.

I applaud you for your ability and willingness to apologize in many tough situations on this board. Kudos for also expressing how you feel and giving me the opportunity to clear up the context of my comments. I agree it is a learning experience and we can all learn from each other. After all, no one on this board has a monopoly on good ideas.

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