FMIL POSTS

Arayx2 · May 2011

So, I read posts all the time on this board and a few others about Brides who hate or strongly dislike their FMIL's. I used to be in this club- never posted about her - but I have come to a new understanding that I want to share with others.

My FH's father passed away when he was 15 and his mom became everything to him. I came into the picture about 5 years after the passing.

I have had many issues with my FMIL - Including her telling me to get an abortion when I found out we were pregnant - at age 24 mind you - but I was holding onto a lot of hostility.

My point is this - to the brides who cringe when their FMIL's walk into the room remember - They may be the only ones on the Earth who love your FH more than you. They are part of the process of who he has become. I am figuring out that my FI has learned to love me by how his mom loved him. And so with in the last few months - I am beginning to love her again and embrace the fact we will be family (legally) very soon!!

Just a thought I wanted to share!!!

[Deleted User] · May 2011

That is such good news. I am glad things are on the upswing for you guys.

lbow1984 · May 2011

That's wonderful! My FMIL and I have our moments, but ultimately we love each other too.

I'm glad things are looking up for you and yours.

noodle_oo · May 2011

That's great that you are working out your issues with your FMIL. However, I caution you to try to tell other people what to do or how to feel. You have no idea what others people's relationships are like or what history is there.

Arayx2 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_fmil-posts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:2a7804f2-5e32-41f4-9822-5158ecc21be5Post:a5461529-ff7d-40d1-ac1d-f5d278b89e48">Re: FMIL POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]That's great that you are working out your issues with your FMIL. However, I caution you to try to tell other people what to do or how to feel. You have no idea what others people's relationships are like or what history is there.
Posted by noodle_oo[/QUOTE]

I do not want to come across combative but no where in this message did I tell anyone what to do or think. I am someone who is very aware of issues with FMIL and I am simply giving a new spin to think about.

I apologize you read my post wrong.

HBaker82407 · May 2011

I think this is a great post. I do have my FMIL living with me...yes she drives me nuts but i do appreciate her. To be honest I dont think she'll ever "love" me tho.

Arayx2 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_fmil-posts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:2a7804f2-5e32-41f4-9822-5158ecc21be5Post:fb59f69a-a905-4d0a-beed-a70028b9fca5">Re: FMIL POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]I think this is a great post. I do have my FMIL living with me...yes she drives me nuts but i do appreciate her. To be honest<strong> I dont think she'll ever "love" me tho.
</strong>Posted by HBaker82407[/QUOTE]

I have wondered this myself about mine but I think she has her own way of showing it. I am the woman taking her son "away" in a sense and I think she has relied on him so much since his Dad passed. Another thought I need to remind myself.

Good Luck - I hope things work out for you and your FMIL!!

LoveMuffins · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_fmil-posts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:2a7804f2-5e32-41f4-9822-5158ecc21be5Post:a5461529-ff7d-40d1-ac1d-f5d278b89e48">Re: FMIL POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]That's great that you are working out your issues with your FMIL. <strong>However, I caution you to try to tell other people what to do or how to feel.</strong> You have no idea what others people's relationships are like or what history is there.
Posted by noodle_oo[/QUOTE]

All she did was tell them to remember that FI's mother shaped him into who he is, even if he has a crappy mother that's something to remember. I def didn't see it as "everyone who is complaining about their FMIL is wrong and should do what i do!". She had an epiphany, a really great one, and shared it and spread some advice - not marching orders - onto theknot, which is what it's here for.

FWIW OP i have a great relationship with my FMIL in law, but i found it really touching to read your post and remember that she was a huge part in shaping FI into the man that i love. i think it's great that you've found a turning point with your FMIL =) Good luck!

mellimel19 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_fmil-posts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:2a7804f2-5e32-41f4-9822-5158ecc21be5Post:0adbc466-5bc5-482f-b6d6-03ff0c629d7e">Re: FMIL POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FMIL POSTS : FWIW OP i have a great relationship with my FMIL in law, but i found it really touching to read your post and remember that she was a huge part in shaping FI into the man that i love. i think it's great that you've found a turning point with your FMIL =) Good luck!
Posted by LoveMuffins[/QUOTE]

Ditto this exactly :)

Hellokatie0517 · May 2011

I'm in the "not-so-great relationship with my FMIL" category. It's difficult because she has some issues. However, I have to say that it made me feel good that my grandmother told me that FMIL told her at Easter that she loves me. FMIL is certainly not the type to say things just to say them, so when I heard that it made me happy. Deep down I love her too and would do anything for her, but it is definitely a strained relationship on the exterior.

shopgrl3177 · May 2011

I really appreciated your post. My FMIL can be a little difficult but I do love her and sometimes I have to remind myself that she is a really good person. She helped make my FI into the wonderful man he is and I'm very grateful for that!

FMIL POSTS

Re: FMIL POSTS

Choose Another Board

Search Boards