What do you think?

crfische · January 2010

Every Wednesday on my local radio station, they do a group therapy.

Today's guy called in and his dilemma was this:

He has been dating a girl for 2 years. Madly in love with her, he says. On Halloween, she gets into a very bad car wreck and loses her leg.

FFWD to now, he doesn't think he can spend his life with a woman with one leg.

Other than the leg thing, he says she's perfect in every way.

There were many callers this morning on both ends of the spectrum.

suedoe · January 2010

That guys a piece of work.

ring_pop · January 2010

I'd break up with her so as to not put her through the misery of spending her life with a jerk like myself. Because I'm sure I'd feel the same way if she ever had to get chemo and lose her hair, or if she gained weight after childbirth, etc.
Jerk.

laurenclaire1386 · January 2010

FI and I have played the "would you still love me if my leg got chopped off," game before. I think it's one of those things where you have no idea how you'll react unless it happens because it has a lot more ramifications than just physical beauty.

MyNameIsNot · January 2010

He sucks. If you really love someone, you love them regardless of their physical appearance. He'd probably dump her if she got fat or broke her nose, too.

FutureMrsTR · January 2010

If this was my FI, I can understand having a little bit of apprehension, but mine would mostly be for him knowing that his life was going to be a little bit harder and wanting to do anything I could to make it better.

vallyhoo · January 2010

While I can't speak from personal experience, I know someone who HAS experienced this first-hand. He stayed with her; for him there was no other alternative.

At this point in my own relationship there is no way I'd let a physical impairment end our relationship.

ETA: That's not to say that maybe somewhere down the road, the struggles associated with such a traumatic experience may prove to be a contributing factor to the demise of a relationship. But to jump ship just because of that fact alone? Hells no.

smokeybailey · January 2010

We were watching the Biggest Loser and my BF said, would you stay with me if I got that big? (pointing at the dude over 500 pounds.)
I said, yes, but I would be pissed.

I would hope that the person who loves me would stay with me through sickness and health. However, if I go into an irreversible coma, he has permission to find another chick.

JK10910 · January 2010

Wow, really? I mean, I guess it's hard to say for sure without ever ACTUALLY being in the situation, and I'm sure it would be hard to get used to, but that seems like a pretty damn shallow reason to break up with someone. Yikes.

lyndausvi · January 2010

I voted I would stay.

But if he is thinking like this it might be better for him to leave her, as I do not think he understandswhat 'for better or worse' means. So will not be able to support her future needs.

thesuninherhead · January 2010

I think that if you really love someone, you love them with or without a leg. It may present extra challenges in physical therapy, setting up of house, PTSD, etc etc etc, but ultimately she is still the person he loved and I think it's ridiculous to leave her based only on the leg.

kikibaby · January 2010

That's terrible to break up with someone for that reason

It's like he only loved her for her physical appearance.

When we were in Vegas, I saw this couple at the valet. She was on a motorized scooter. Their car came up and it was a specially retrofitted SUV that had hydraulics to lower it and a crane in the pack to put away the scooter. The man lifted his wife up and put her in the car and was just so sweet and gentle. I asked FI if he would do that for me and he said 'Of course'.

AmoroAgain · January 2010

WTF?! That's messed up. He needs to get over himself. Sure, go ahead an leave her. Guess what? You'll find out later that she was the best thing ever, and I hope she's found someone who isn't a total douchebag. Azzwipe.

shellydiane820 · January 2010

That's an interesting question. It was actually brought into pre-cana, except they somehow threw in premarital sex.

Say you plan to marry the person, chances are after something tramatic like that, they are a different person, would you like the changes?

Are you willing to spend the rest of your life helping this person with a handicap?

I would try to stick it out. I think its one of those many obsticles in a relationship. The only thing I could see that would make me want to leave is if said person didn't want to move on, they couldn't get over the fact of the accident, they didn't want to try anymore.

kate51485 · January 2010

And it was no further than the leg? Not paralyzed, nothing like that? Shoot. With one remaining leg and a good prosthetic leg, you can be just as mobile as a two legged person. Don't single (and maybe even double?!) amputees run marathons? I'd hate to think what he'd have said had she ended up a quadriplegic...

betrothed123 · January 2010

I'm so glad my H is not like that douche. I have a physical impairment, which requires him to help me get around at times, and keeps me out of commission sometimes. H still stays with me, and loves me no less for my impairment. I would do the same for him.

sarah0725 · January 2010

Yeah that is pretty awful. I hope his girlfriend doesn't listen to the radio show.

eastunder1 · January 2010

I voted "break up with her."

Not because of the leg, but because I think if you are considering ending things because they lost their leg in an accident, you aren't that in love with them. If you were honestly in love with a person, it wouldn't be a possibility to begin with.

She deserves someone who is going to love her just how she is, and who doesn't see her as "lacking" now.

FutureMrsDudley55 · January 2010

What an ass

pooh8402 · January 2010

my grandpa lost his leg recently. other than him being a grump because he can't get around as easily as he used to, not a whole bunch has changed. he still goes to the dog races and argues politics with us, my grandma still works. no biggie.

SwedishChick2011 · January 2010

Well, Paul McCartney married a woman with one leg...oh wait.
But seriously, it would be pretty douchy to break up with someone for that.

georgia_bride09 · January 2010

I hope that guy never has a disabled child or parent. They're harder to kick to the curb than a GF.

september's bride · January 2010

I voted that I'd struggle, and not because he'd be one leg down, but more because I can't honestly say how I'd react if that happened. Of course he'd be the same person, for the most part, but my DH is super athletic, has a physically-intensive job and really enjoys being outdoors and being active in his spare time. If those things got taken away from him or became too difficult to do, I can't honestly say he'd be the same person. He gets moody and sullen when he can't let off that steam, and I'd hate to see him like that 24/7.

vallyhoo · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_think-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9185279-e37f-4e67-8173-7f4be81acf71Post:09eb1b76-0881-43c2-87a3-c337deb3459b">Re: What do you think?</a>:
[QUOTE]I voted "break up with her."
Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]

I voted wrong because I thought it was asking what would I do. Bad poll, Fishy, bad.

kkchisholm · January 2010

I'd absolutely stay with fi but it would be very hard for us (I think, I dont know for sure because I am not in the situation) We are very active rock climbers, hikers,runners, sailers, and now skiiers. It would be tough. I am sure he could learn to do some of those things with one leg though!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · January 2010

I had a dream that FI's left forearm was amputated. So I've thought about this. Obviously I'd stay with him, but it would be emotional for me as well as him. Clearly more emotional for him.

In the dream if was for a really stupid reason, though. He was in the audience of a doctor friend's TV show or something and they needed a volunteer to demonstrate amputation on. When I saw him I was furious and said, "What the fvck happened?!"

SarahSmile23 · January 2010

i wouldn't leave him because of that physical impairment. but i know how bad his attitude would get. he wouldn't want to live. THAT would be hard to live with.

crfische · January 2010

Sorry, yeah. I was just floored by the people who were calling in and saying, "Yeah, I totally get where this dude is coming from."

REALLY!?

AND, there was a good contingent of people who said that if they were older (+35) and it happened, that they would be more likely to stay, but since he was young (24) that they could see how that would be hard.

Asshole.

kkchisholm · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_think-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9185279-e37f-4e67-8173-7f4be81acf71Post:d03ff479-8d49-4722-ada4-ff9a181ad5ee">Re: What do you think?</a>:
[QUOTE]i wouldn't leave him because of that physical impairment. but i know how bad his attitude would get. he wouldn't want to live. THAT would be hard to live with.
Posted by SarahSmile23[/QUOTE]

mine fi too

salt78 · January 2010

Yeah...I love FI for the person he is, not how many limbs he has.

baby green bird · January 2010

i have had so much loss in my life. if only i could have those people back. with or without a missing limb. there are no words. this post has made an impact on me.

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