Engagement Party??

crystalmarieryan · November 2009

I had my engagement party last night. It was a small event, only some family and the wedding party. Two of my bridesmaids claimed they "forgot" when I asked them where they were and my Fi's best man won't answer him when he has tried getting in touch. I need advice on how to handle it. I haven't talked to my bridesmaids since they "forgot". I'm very hurt and upset by it.

redheadfsu · November 2009

Sorry. That stinks.

The best way to handle this is go to lunch with them & causally mention that you wish they were there. But don't harp on it. If you turn this into something huge it can really harm your friendships. Yes it hurts that they were not there, but the WP only has to show up on time & dressed on the day of the wedding.

Now if you can't get a hold of them, are they usually like this?
If not, they might not be as into your wedding as you are. (Most people aren't) Leave a message or email asking them about whatever is going on in their lives. Also, something must have happened for several close friends to refuse to talk to you.

Brie2010 · November 2009

That stinks. I'd be hurt too.

That said, it helped me in the beginning when I didn't think people cared about our engagement to remember that our wedding is nowhere near as important to anyone else in the world (except my FI) as it is to me. I try to put myself in the other person's shoes in situations like this--it's a holiday weekend, and things ARE legitimately busy for most people. I agree with Redhead--take them to lunch but don't harp on it.

crystalmarieryan · November 2009

I agree, I should let it go however, it just really bothers me that when i text the one girl she said "oh really, i'm just sitting at home tonight" lol and I want people in my wedding party that will be there for me, not only on the day of the wedding but for the supporting parties and planning. I could be wrong on feeling that way.

lilcassers · November 2009

I agree Crystal. I feel like if friends are that close and they don't have other plans, they should want to be there, especially if you invited them.

BrideFinder · November 2009

Something seems weird here.

How old are you/ they?

When did you invite them?

Could it be they didn't come because they don't necessarily approve/like your Fiance?

I've seen situations like this happen when BMs are trying to be passive aggressive, although if you are only 18 or something, they might have just genuinely forgot. You can never tell a person's tone in a text message.

crystalmarieryan · November 2009

No, we're 21 and 23, my friends are 22 and 25. and the best man is 24. I invited over text msg the first week of November and sent a formal invitation the week of the 9th. They all RSVP'd by the latest the 19th, and asked 2 of the 3 asked for directions the night before. lol My two bridesmaids love my fiance, we all hang out all the time, they all told me they love him.

It doesn't seem right, because they have never been like this. Which makes me believe there is some type of hidden meaning.. you can't forget after asking for directions the night before..

Krysten110 · December 2009

What?!?! That's H*rse$h*t! I would be so upset! I do not think you should let it go AT ALL! You should sit them down and tell them that you were really upset by it and ask how they "forgot" when they asked for directions the night before? You should also ask them if they are going to be serious about their commitment to your wedding or if they even want to be in it any longer. Give them the option to tell you whether or not they are going to be invested and if not let them know you wouldn't be offended if they didn't want to do it.

Good luck!

smcdonald03 · December 2009

Sounds like you have the kind of friends I do. I would talk to them about it. At some point that you have to just remember that what is important is you and your FI. No one will react the way you want them to. Enjoy your time.

Engagement Party??

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