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Want To Get Married In A Church But Dont Belong To One.

ourwedding7311ourwedding7311 member
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in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Does anyone know of any churches in the Chicago Area that are willing to marry a couple without being an actual member of the Church? I wouldnt mind becomming a member but some places that we have looked into expect us to go to Paris & back in order to hold our cereomy at the Church. Any suggestions?

~Churchless
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Re: Want To Get Married In A Church But Dont Belong To One.

  • 2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    I would agree with posting this on your local board.  However, I will also say that Unitarian Universalist churches typically do not require that you be a member for them to perform a wedding.
    Anniversary
    Our wedding bio page (including vendor reviews) and items for sale
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  • ourwedding7311ourwedding7311 member
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    Ty :)
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  • jennylove810jennylove810 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Why would you want to get married in a church if you don't belong to one or attend services?  I am truly curious, because that just doesn't make sense to me and I hope you don't want to use a church as a prop for your photos.
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  • ourwedding7311ourwedding7311 member
    First Comment

    Well Jenny, if you must know. I was raised in the Catholic Church, Baptized, Confirmed, & made my Communion. I also went to a Catholic grade school as well as graduated from a Catholic high school. My brother the same, only he was abused when he went. Once my family was made aware of what was going on we stopped going for a long time. After a few years, I began attending a Lutheran Church around where I was living at the time. Since then I have moved and for the past 2 years I have not attended church. Wither or not you agree with my decision or my want to get married in a Church is up to you. But I do not feel that because I have not attended church for a while makes me less of a believer or should make me less privileged to get married in a Church.

    "Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgement you make, you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get." 
    Matthew 7:1-3

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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
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    You might want to look into campus chapels.  If I were getting married in Chicago, I would get married on the campus of my alma mater in their chapel.  Some places won't let you get married there if you have no affiliation with the school, but others might.
    Married 10/2/10
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  • krissydawn16krissydawn16
    First Comment
    See if your membership from your Lutheren church transfers to a local Lutheren church.  If they are in the same conference/denomination, then this is possible after a move.
    imageimageimage
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  • MISSCOURTNEY20MISSCOURTNEY20 member
    First Comment
    Yeah, you might have to look into getting married at a school's chapel. I live in Chicago and, from what I know about Catholics, they are not going to marry you without you being a member. Lutheran churches are probably going to be the same way. Look into UIC's chapel or maybe DePaul or Loyola. Good luck!!
    And the whole time, my future husband was in the room...... image image
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_want-married-church-but-dont-belong-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:b0ad55da-de06-405f-aa22-6a2c0bc45a29Post:81533721-53f2-4da6-997f-313a44e661e7">Re: Want To Get Married In A Church But Dont Belong To One.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well Jenny, if you must know. I was raised in the Catholic Church, Baptized, Confirmed, & made my Communion. I also went to a Catholic grade school as well as graduated from a Catholic high school. My brother the same, only he was abused when he went. Once my family was made aware of what was going on we stopped going for a long time. After a few years, I began attending a Lutheran Church around where I was living at the time. Since then I have moved and for the past 2 years I have not attended church. Wither or not you agree with my decision or my want to get married in a Church is up to you. But I do not feel that because I have not attended church for a while makes me less of a believer or should make me less privileged to get married in a Church. "Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgement you make, you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get."  Matthew 7:1-3
    Posted by ourwedding7311[/QUOTE]

    I don't think she was juding you. You didn't provide this information before so she was just saying that IF you weren't religious then don't just use a church as a prop. She wasn't saying you couldn't get married in a church.


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  • jennylove810jennylove810 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Sheesh OP, not defensive at all, are you?  ::eye roll::

    Thanks, Beth.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_want-married-church-but-dont-belong-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:b0ad55da-de06-405f-aa22-6a2c0bc45a29Post:f65419c2-468c-40a6-8942-2742e7ea573c">Re: Want To Get Married In A Church But Dont Belong To One.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sheesh OP, not defensive at all, are you?  ::eye roll:: 
    Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.  OP just bit her head off, and it was a legitimate question.  It wasn't worded snarky or anything.</div><div>
    </div><div>I got the impression that OP is so defensive because she's a little embarrassed about it.  </div>
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  • jennylove810jennylove810 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    MNIN.. seeing eye to eye on this one.

    Though Stage, yours is a legit reason.  And OP's is too, now that she explained it.  I didn't mean to come off with any kind of tone, I was just wondering if she had some kind of reason like yours because when I read her post, it sounded like "I don't belong to any church, but now that I'm getting married I need to find a church to marry me."  Not, I'd like to become part of a religion, but I need to use a church - any church - to get married. 

    Op isn't doing that, but I've seen brides who have used churches not because they care about a religious ceremony, but because they want a pretty backdrop for photos.  I'm sure you can see how that'd be not ok with someone who is religious.
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  • LasairionaLasairiona member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_want-married-church-but-dont-belong-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:b0ad55da-de06-405f-aa22-6a2c0bc45a29Post:dd1968c5-045a-4534-9fce-0f1cd617c8f2">Re: Want To Get Married In A Church But Dont Belong To One.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why would you want to get married in a church if you don't belong to one or attend services?  I am truly curious, because that just doesn't make sense to me and I hope you don't want to use a church as a prop for your photos.
    Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]
    Agreed.

    If you truly want to join a church beforehand, do it for the right reasons. Only you can decide which church fits your personal beliefs. If you're doing it just for a pretty backdrop, don't bother at all because that is disrespectful. It's folks who care about the aesthetics of the church rather than what it stands for which is why so many churches don't allow non-members to marry there or if they do, they charge large fees for non-members to discourage them from disrespecting the venue.
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  • talanarotalanaro
    First Comment
    We had a similar problem in NC when we got married.  I enlisted the help of my parents, and we called several churches in the area.  Some wanted us to go to Paris and back just the same, but we called around, got prices, and choose the one that was not only the cheapest, but the most helpful.  It was a Presbyterian church, and my husband and I are both Baptists, but the ceremony was beautiful. 
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  • LasairionaLasairiona member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_want-married-church-but-dont-belong-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:b0ad55da-de06-405f-aa22-6a2c0bc45a29Post:d3bfd0bb-10e6-4962-9605-0a7fa14960ae">Re: Want To Get Married In A Church But Dont Belong To One.</a>:
    [QUOTE]We had a similar problem in NC when we got married.  I enlisted the help of my parents, and we called several churches in the area.  Some wanted us to go to Paris and back just the same, but we called around, got prices, and choose the one that was not only the cheapest, but the most helpful.  It was a Presbyterian church, and my husband and I are both Baptists, but the ceremony was beautiful. 
    Posted by talanaro[/QUOTE]
    Curious but why would you get married in a church that is not the same denomination that you believe in?
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