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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal
Questions for post-wedding brides...
I'm a month into the planning process for our September 7th wedding of this year, and I want to try and gain as much wisdom from others as I can!
1. What was the most special moment of your wedding?
2. What do you wish you had done differently?
3. What is something you regret spending money on?
4. What is something you wish you would have spent more money on?
5. What's the best (and worst!) advice you got during the planning process?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Questions for post-wedding brides...
Guest books
Guest book pens (i.e. frilly feather pens)
Mrs. and Mr. or His and Her robes or tee shirts or sweatshirts to wear before or afterwards
Garterbelts, Toss garters (I'm not doing this. At. All.)
Toss bouquet (also not doing the toss the bouquet thing)
Really over the top lighting i.e. go-bos (the shapes or monograms in light people use often on the dance floor)
A ton of flowers or decor for the rehearsal (we're probably not doing any)
Bridesmaid gifts that won't be used because they aren't really for the maid, but really more about the wedding (i.e. monogrammed or dated mugs or purses)
Really fancy card boxes (but you should get one that locks and one that is big enough for larger dimension cards)
I hope this helps? Have fun! Good luck! Congrats!
Best: Know that things will probably go wrong and just go with the flow
Take time to eat! Take time to take it all in during the wedding.
I can't think of any bad advice I got. Or maybe I just blocked it all out!
June 2012 Bride!
[QUOTE]I'm a month into the planning process for our September 7th wedding of this year, and I want to try and gain as much wisdom from others as I can! 1. What was the most special moment of your wedding? 2. What do you wish you had done differently? 3. What is something you regret spending money on? 4. What is something you wish you would have spent more money on? 5. What's the best (and worst!) advice you got during the planning process?
Posted by YoursEtcRachel[/QUOTE]
<div>Congrats on being a month out!</div><div>
</div><div>1.) The most special moment for my H was feeding me cake. The most special moment for me was our wine ceremony (it was very meaningful to us, and fun!)</div><div>
</div><div>2.) Nothing for me. I pulled myself over the rack planning every detail and the end result was spectacular. For my H, he is embarrassed to this day that he forgot to thank his parents during his speech :P.</div><div>
</div><div>3.) We were very careful with our money, and don't regret any expense. Especially not on food and drinks!</div><div>
</div><div>4.) There are things that I wish I had had more money to spend on the wedding (real flowers instead of silk), but nothing that made or broke the event for us.</div><div>
</div><div>5.) Best advice, by far, is the stuff I got here. In fact, the very first post I did was pouting about the guest list, and trying to exclude someone I didn't like. I was promptly set straight by the ladies here.</div><div>
</div><div>The worst advice was that I should have a magician at my RD. Because people need to be entertained apparently.</div>
Getting married. Nothing else was as important to me so it was very special.
I only wish that we had dropped to florist we used because I didn't personally like the guy by the time our wedding rolled around. He was a liar. Other than that, there is nothing I would have done differently.
Nothing at all. We had a budget and I made sure that we stuck to it. I worked really hard to find great deals. Everything that we spent money on was something that was important for us to have.
Not a thing. Our photography budget initially was super low, but once we started researching we found out that what we were looking for cost a bit more. So we changed our budget around to get a photographer we wanted.
Best: If you have it in your mind to enjoy the day no matter what, you will.
I don't think I was given any bad advice.
-The moment I say H standing there waiting for me to walk to him. Then it was just little moments through the night where it was just him and I. You'd be suprised how little time you spend together that day!
-Really nothing. We actually talk about how there is nothing we would have changed.
-We didn't spend an insane amount and I'm super conservative about money when it came to the wedding. Our pictures were crazy expensive but we LOVE them so I would happily spend money on that again.
-I wish that I had more money to spend on my dress. But I was definitely that bride that didn't care about my dress because I knew that I didn't have enough for the dress that I really wanted. I got a dress that I thought H would love and he definitely did. He still makes comments on it every so often so I was hapy.
-No one really gave me any but I have some.
--Don't take it too seriously. It's fun, not serious. Relax, and don't freak out. Your girls don't HAVE to do anything and don't really have responsibilites. Marriage is the main thing. Don't sweat the small stuff. Once you see him standing there, it doesn't matter and its all perfect.
[QUOTE]I'm a month into the planning process for our September 7th wedding of this year, and I want to try and gain as much wisdom from others as I can! 1. What was the most special moment of your wedding? 2. What do you wish you had done differently? 3. What is something you regret spending money on? 4. What is something you wish you would have spent more money on? 5. What's the best (and worst!) advice you got during the planning process?
Posted by YoursEtcRachel[/QUOTE]
1. When I got to the end of the aisle and my husband (fiance) said, "You're gorgeous." <div>
</div><div>2. The only thing I would have done differently was to have less yellow in the cake and cupcakes and to have made sure I got a new cake topper (the one I had was too big) or remembered to ask the florist to put some flowers on it or something b/c it looked really plain. </div><div>
</div><div>3. I regret spending money on shoes I didn't wear and will never wear again. </div><div>
</div><div>4. Nothing. </div><div>
</div><div>5. The best advice I got was that at the end of the day, no matter what went wrong, I would be married to the love of my life. I didn't get any bad advice b/c I planned the wedding myself and didn't really discuss it with many people. </div>
There were a ton. But our first look was one of my favorites. And of course walking down the aisle with my dad to my husband.
I wouldnt have gotten married the weekend that NATO was in Chicago. The threat of a terrorist attack was a bit stressful especially consdiering our reception was so close to the protests. But it turned out not to be a problem.
My rehearsal dinner dress was way too expensive.
Nothing. Sometimes I wish we had a videographer.
eat and dance. You paid for it, enjoy it. Practical advice: buy platform flip flops. Once I took my heels off, my dress was dragging on the floor, evn though it was bustled. Platform flip flops will keep your dress at the same hem length
Our first dance was very special...we both were very shy and kept trying to turn the other we didn't have to face the crowd.
2. What do you wish you had done differently?
Maybe stressed about everything a bit less...at the end of the day, everything went wonderfully but it went sooooo fast!! I felt like all the worry was for nothing because the marriage is the most important part.
3. What is something you regret spending money on?
Out of town bags!!
4. What is something you wish you would have spent more money on?
Videographer! I was so hyped about our harpist during our ceremony but during my walk down the aisle, I had so much adrenaline running and I was so focused on my husband that I remember nothing about the walk down.
5. What's the best (and worst!) advice you got during the planning process?
Make your wedding what YOU want it to be and not what other people feel it should be. At the end of the day, it'll be you and your husband...you want to make sure it's your special day.
p.s. I hired a "day of" planner for my wedding and it was really the best investment I ever made! Totally worth the money!!
Best Advice - Have fun planning your wedding. It is your first and last time.
Worst Advice -
Guest: "You shouldn't be in the same house the night before."
Me: "We have been living together for a few years."
Guest: "But, it's tradition."
Me: "We pay our mortgage and bills and own the house. We are fully capable of making our own decisions. And, we will be in the same house the night before."
Seeing my partner at the end of the aisle.
Maybe started the ceremony a little bit later. The sun was up until almost the end of my reception. We started the ceremony at 3pm. Reception from 3:15-9:00pm. It was barely getting dark around 8:45. I probably would have pushed the ceremony to 4:30 and had the reception from 4:45-10pm.
I don't really regret spending money on anything. We were very frugal and when we spent money, it was on purpose.
4. What is something you wish you would have spent more money on?
My dress. I'm still having dress regret 6 months later. I know a lot of people say "that is SO much money for a dress you are only going to wear 1 day!!" but, that's sort of the point. You only (presumably) get to wear a big fancy wedding dress once. I wish I wouldn't have limited my budget so much and splurged more on my dress.
I have a couple, actually:
It's YOUR day, Do whatever you want! (Luckily, I knew better than to take this advice)
oh that's dumb. You don't need chairs for everyone for the ceremony. It's going to be over in 10 minutes! (I also knew better than to take this advice)
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
First look.. it was before either of us were stressed out from hosting the wedding, and the first time we saw each other looking all spiffy!
Maybe invited our aunts/uncles.. we did only immediate family and a few close friends
All the little things so early in the process! we ended up changing things and so a lot of money was wasted on too many invites, or table numbers, or jewelery I didn't like...
photography
Try not to sweat the small things. I did, and it dampen the day a tidbit. Things will go wrong, but don't worry about it because you are probably the only one who realizes it!
[QUOTE]I'm a month into the planning process for our September 7th wedding of this year, and I want to try and gain as much wisdom from others as I can! 1. What was the most special moment of your wedding? 2. What do you wish you had done differently? 3. What is something you regret spending money on? 4. What is something you wish you would have spent more money on? 5. What's the best (and worst!) advice you got during the planning process?
Posted by YoursEtcRachel[/QUOTE]
1. What was the most special moment of your wedding?
A: Seeing my husband standing at the altar waiting for me, and our friends and family gathered to see us
2. What do you wish you had done differently?
A: At times, Eloped but family is so important that we did not want to
3. What is something you regret spending money on?
A: We chose not to do a guestbook, we did the signing frame as well as a photo album for people to sign that we could put reception pictures in later
4. What is something you wish you would have spent more money on?
A: Food
5. What's the best (and worst!) advice you got during the planning process?
A: Worst: you can't do that it won't look right. If you want it, go for it, it is your wedding
Best: It is your wedding, don't do things to make other people happy if you aren't going to be happy. Don't forget to plan something for in between you ceremony and your reception, it can be very boring waiting. Invite the people that you want to be there, not just because they "have" to be, do what makes you happy.
Do engagement photos to get comfortable with your phototgrapher, and make a list of who you want photos with on your wedding day, that way no one gets forgotten. I have 1 photo with me and my parents as some other guests made a big disruption and messed everything up
1. What was the most special moment of your wedding? First look, we wanted it to be just us for first look, neither one of us wanted those sweaty palms as im walking down the aisle. It was super special, and made for some AMAZING pictures!
-The worst advice was my grandma told me to think about what others would think... ummm hello?! this is my wedding and excuse my language, but screw what everyone else thinks. I did things exactly how i wanted and no one was except my husband and I were on my mind when i planned eachthing.
[QUOTE]In Response to Questions for post-wedding brides... : Congrats on being a month out! 1.) The most special moment for my H was feeding me cake. The most special moment for me was our <strong>wine ceremony</strong> (it was very meaningful to us, and fun!) 2.) Nothing for me. I pulled myself over the rack planning every detail and the end result was spectacular. For my H, he is embarrassed to this day that he forgot to thank his parents during his speech :P. 3.) We were very careful with our money, and don't regret any expense. Especially not on food and drinks! 4.) There are things that I wish I had had more money to spend on the wedding (real flowers instead of silk), but nothing that made or broke the event for us. 5.) Best advice, by far, is the stuff I got here. In fact, the very first post I did was pouting about the guest list, and trying to exclude someone I didn't like. I was promptly set straight by the ladies here. The worst advice was that I should have a magician at my RD. Because people need to be entertained apparently.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]
Hi Pele,
Could you please give the details of your wine ceremony? We've been thinking about this one for our ceremony.
TIA!
1. What was the most special moment of your wedding? The vows. It was like he and I were the only two in the room and it was very emotional. Another moment was when I was getting pics taken with me and my dad and the photographer asked us to touch noses. Every time we tried, we ended up laughing. We were both crying at the end and asked her to think of a different pose.
2. What do you wish you had done differently? It was difficult because we don't live in the same town as our venue is located. We had a lot of rushing around to do when we got into town and had to ask our moms to take care of a few things for us. I would have rather done it ourselves because they didn't do things as we asked but I don't think that was even an option.
3. What is something you regret spending money on? Our champagne flutes. My sister in law bought us gorgeous Swarovski glasses as a gift so we wanted to use those instead.
4. What is something you wish you would have spent more money on? OUR CATERER. I thought it was a great deal but he a complete nightmare; even though we had a limited budget, I would have happily spent more and gone with a different company.
5. What's the best (and worst!) advice you got during the planning process? Best advice -- the day might not go perfectly (my car broke down on the way to get our hair done..) but it's the end result that matters. Worst -- my mom saying that since my husband had been married once before (in the courthouse), his opinion in the planning process didn't matter as much.... Rude.
Best: Relax and realize there may things that go wrong the day of even if you have a coordinator/planner. A wedding is just a day, a marriage is a lifetime. And no one is going to notice small litlte mistakes anyway.
Worst: I don't really think I receieved any bad advice especially here on TK.
[QUOTE]I'm a month into the planning process for our September 7th wedding of this year, and I want to try and gain as much wisdom from others as I can! 1. What was the most special moment of your wedding? 2. What do you wish you had done differently? 3. What is something you regret spending money on? 4. What is something you wish you would have spent more money on? 5. What's the best (and worst!) advice you got during the planning process?
Posted by YoursEtcRachel[/QUOTE]
<div>I think this a great post! I wish I had done the same thing. It's been only one week (exactly) from my wedding day. And I'm still really excited over it.</div><div>
</div><div>1. The most special moments of my day were definitely when my daddy walked me down the aisle (because he cried the whole way) and when my husband and I said our vows.</div><div>
</div><div>2. I wish we had done a first look before the ceremony. Formal pictures with DH and mysef and with our families took up a lot of time at our reception (almost an hour.) We only wanted to spend at the most half an hour on formal pictures, but it took a lot longer. My husband is really traditional though, and absolutely did not want to see me before the ceremony. </div><div>
</div><div>3. I regret spending money on our guest book. We used a Jenga game and wanted our guests to sign or write a little note on the peices. We had about 130 guests present and only about 20 people actually signed it. I don't think people really got it.</div><div>
</div><div>3.5 I am very glad we didn't decide to upgrade our bar package to the premium level. Our venue offered a premium bar package for an additional fee. We decided to stay with the regular bar package (which offered Taaka brand alcohols, one brand of beer on tap, and a strawberry daquiri machine) because our venue owner advised against us upgrading. He said that people tend to stay away from top shelf brands at weddings because they don't want the bride and groom to have to pay extra at the end of the night (which is exactly what I've seen happen at so many weddings.) People seemed generally pretty satisfied with our bar package. So I'm glad we didn't spend the additional $500 to upgrade. I'm also really glad we didn't waste our money on floral centerpeices and ceremony decor. We were lucky because our ceremony was in a courtyard garden, so that was really the ceremony decor. And absolutely no one missed the floral centerpieces (we did have little tea light centerpieces that our venue provided). So glad we didn't waste $1000 on that.</div><div>
</div><div>4. I wish we would have spent more money on gifts for our parents. We didn't get them anything, although we plan to give them each beautiful wedding photo albums from our photographer. I just wish I had thought to actually give them something the day of. </div><div>
</div><div>5. The best advice (from my husband two days before our wedding:) "Something WILL go wrong. Don't get too stressed out about it." The worst advice came from my dad: "I just don't understand why your wedding dress will take several months to come in. Couldn't you have just gotten a dress that they had in the store?" It wasn't really terrible advice, it was just really funny.</div>
Walking down the aisle, for several reasons. It was special to have my dad walking me down. We also stopped when we got to the row where my mom was sitting and I gave her a kiss (it was a surprise for her...something little but special nonetheless). And the very best part of walking downt he aisle was seeing my hubby/him seeing me for the first time.
I wish we had walked around and talked to each table of guests at the reception. We wanted to do all of the major stuff (dances, cake cutting, etc) right after dinner so we'd have more time to socialize with our guests at our reception, but by the time all of that was over, the guests weren't at their tables and were up mingling, so it was impossible to make sure we got to everyone.
3. What is something you regret spending money on?
I took off my veil and wore a hair piece for the reception. The hair piece was very pretty, but I spent WAY too much money on it.
4. What is something you wish you would have spent more money on?
I can't really think of anything I wish I would've spent more money on, except maybe our photographers. I chose our photographers because they were very affordable. My mom really wanted me to use this amazing photographer in our area but I felt like he was way too expensive. Now seeing some of his work, I wish we would've splurged and gone with him after all. I'm not unhappy with our pictures, but I know I would've been blown away by his. Oh well!
5. What's the best (and worst!) advice you got during the planning process?
When I was shopping for my dress, I got wrapped up in the cost of the dress. I am a bargain shopper by nature, and almost never buy clothing unless it's on sale, so when I found out the price on some of the wedding dresses I was trying on, it would cloud my judgement because I couldn't fathom spending that much on a dress....especially one I was only going to wear for one day! My mom (who was paying for everything) reminded me that my wedding dress would be in EVERY single picture and video of me from that day and that I would be looking at those pictures for the rest of my life. She said that if there was one thing I absolutely should splurge on, it would be my dress. Once she told me that, I realized she was right. I'm not saying go overboard and spend an arm and a leg on your dress, but that advice was helpful for me.
I didn't really neccessarily get any bad advice. At least none that I listened to (or remember)!
We had a horse & carriage to take us on a ride after the ceremony. It was relaxing, just hearing the clip-clop on the street, and to see everyone come up to us and wave or yell "congratulations" or even take our picture. I felt like royalty, and it was amazing to have that time alone right after the ceremony with my new husband.
I wish I had given our photographer a more detailed list of the photos I wanted taken, and assigned someone to stay on top of her to make sure they were all done. We didn't get a shot of the wedding party all together and I was so busy that it slipped my mind until after the reception was over.
Our wedding coordinator. He was AWFUL!!!! Despite having rave reviews and an A+ rating with the BBB, he rubbed me the wrong way from day 1 and I wish I had listened to my gut and found someone else. We paid several thousand dollars for a bad attitude, dead flowers, and services that he never provided. We may end up having to take him to court because he's refusing to refund the money for the services he didn't provide that were in our contract.
The wedding cake. I wanted a well-known local baker but didn't want to pay her minimum of $500 when we were only having 20-25 guests. We ended up with a dry cake a design that looked like it was done by a first-day culinary student.
I didn't get any advice. But MY advice would be to get EVERY LAST DETAIL spelled out in EVERY contract you sign, even if that means your contract will be 20 pages long. Also, try to do a lot of your business via email and save them all - that way, you have a paper trail should something go wrong or should one of your vendors "forget" something they promised you. You can't prove something that was said verbally, but if it's on paper, you can. Also, go over every last detail a few days in advance. This will give your vendors some time to scramble if they have forgotten about something. Lastly, remember.... it's just ONE DAY. It's a party. I was SO stressed out that I had migraines for weeks before the wedding that literally left me curled up in a ball in bed in tears. In the end, it all turned out fine because I realized that EVERY wedding has something that goes wrong and as long as we were married at the end of the day, that's all that counts.
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