Cheap Guest

ryanchase · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:1ce60979-b3ab-42ab-ad52-641893f5fa23">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]ryanchase - are you by any chance a librarian?
Posted by AuntFlo[/QUOTE]

<div>Why Ant Flo cuz I sound cheap? Very funny. I was just asking a simple question. Aren't you tired of excuses when people say they don't have time or any money to do anything but wait for it post all day on FB of them taking trips and drinking it up? Well sorry I am no shame hear asking WTF about gift. Have you ever given $10? Exactly enough said. I'm trying to look at it from every angle but even the biggest white trash person doesn't do that...or do they?</div>

tawillers · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:92beff90-0017-4afb-968b-0d1266e1694e">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cheap Guest : I didn't want the cookie back I was making a point. This guest along with others took a cupcake which is like our cake. So if one of your guest took a piece of your cake before you even cut it wouldn't you be upset? I did call this guest out and I got an excuse Oh I have no money my bank account is in the negative, but the thing is she just went on a road trip. So see my point people spend where they want and don't care or make excuses. She took it well but again she said she was going to give us more when she starts working more. Which is BS since her and other sgo out all the time and place it up on FB. I have to regrets calling her aout and maybe some others. I feel no shame. I mean it's crazy. Have you ever been to a wedding and given $10? I couldn't do it. Hey just want to thank you for not being a smart butt on here. I appreciate it. I'm just a lucky husband trying to figure out people. :)
Posted by ryanchase[/QUOTE]

If you already "called her out", what are you asking us to suggest?

It's obvious you want her to say "I'm a worthless piece of schit and I deserve a public flogging for the $10 gift and cupcakes. I bow to your greatness."

It's also obvious that isn't going to happen, so shouldn't you focus on letting this whole thing go now?

AuntFlo · April 2013

Do you hear voices in your head?

ryanchase · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:44694574-65ce-4bd2-a665-f197b3ace5f1">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, and you ARE being a jerk. Were you expecting your guests to pay you back for your wedding?
Posted by DixieNormous330[/QUOTE]

<div>Is that your real name or are you one of those people just being on blogs cuz you have no life? Never expected guest to pay back but at least show respect. If you see people partying every weekend and going on raod trips and vaca you would think they would give more than $10 out of respect. I mean I would accept $40 even though their meal cost well over 100.00. So I really don't care about money cuz I burn cash like nothing just wondering why people are so rude. Kind of like this website where you ask a question and instead of getting answers people start bashing you cuz they think your a cheap ass. By the way let me know how your wedding goes is 2016? Why are you even on here that's like over 2 yrs to go......</div>

BostonGIrl4732 · April 2013

Wzz · April 2013

maybe they didn't want you to "burn cash like nothing" with their money. who knows.

just ask them what happened. let us know how that goes.

DixieNormous330 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:214dbfb5-5ad4-4a46-a6f0-de61ae782bbc">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cheap Guest : Is that your real name or are you one of those people just being on blogs cuz you have no life? Never expected guest to pay back but at least show respect. If you see people partying every weekend and going on raod trips and vaca you would think they would give more than $10 out of respect. I mean I would accept $40 even though their meal cost well over 100.00. So I really don't care about money cuz I burn cash like nothing just wondering why people are so rude. Kind of like this website where you ask a question and instead of getting answers people start bashing you cuz they think your a cheap ass. By the way let me know how your wedding goes is 2016? Why are you even on here that's like over 2 yrs to go......
Posted by ryanchase[/QUOTE]

See, I'm not stupid enough to post information that can lead back to who I really am.

And clearly you DO care about people covering the cost of YOUR party. They came to celebrate you. What they do with their own money has NOTHING to do with you. There is not obligation to give a gift. It's customary, it's polite, it's not a necessity.

And my wedding was lovely, and we received several empty cards and "cheap" (in your opinion) gifts. That were appreciated for the THOUGHT.

Wzz · April 2013

this happened in february? assuming this actually happened, that is.

February 14, 2013

notamrs · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:07b2e24b-5fb4-47ba-a387-eb9a3ffc8e18">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]I really don't care how much my guest eat. I served alot and I wanted to but for people to call me a jerk is absurd. Posted by ryanchase[/QUOTE]

Are alots a protected species? Probably not, since they seem to be in abundance all over the interwebs. But I wouldn't think they'd be very tasty. I maybe would have gone with chicken or salmon.

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/14/4/5ec695b0-7b4b-446d-94b9-2413b348e316.large.bmp" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/14/4/5ec695b0-7b4b-446d-94b9-2413b348e316.medium.bmp" alt="" /></a>

DixieNormous330 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:329ff051-ed1d-4e53-aa5c-6f214be65a4a">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cheap Guest : Are alots a protected species? Probably not, since they seem to be in abundance all over the interwebs. But I wouldn't think they'd be very tasty. I maybe would have gone with chicken or salmon.
Posted by notamrs[/QUOTE]

I might have audibly laughed.

zsazsa-stl · April 2013

Ryan, you are my favorite AE in a long time. Please stick around.

PMeg819 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:07b2e24b-5fb4-47ba-a387-eb9a3ffc8e18">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cheap Guest : So to be clear, this person went over to our cupcake table and took one before dinner. The cupcakes are our cake...make sense. I really don't care how much my guest eat. I served alot and I wanted to but for people to call me a jerk is absurd. So did you have any $10 gifts or empty cards or no cards? How did that make you feel. Just think pretty bad/upset. Just making a point. I'm sure you can see eveyone blowing cash and taking trips but not to give a gift at a wedding is crazy? So you go to weddings and give $10? I didn't think so you would feel bad or maybe you do I don't know. But for someone to do that is not right. Granted I'm not looking for my guest to pay for my wedding but they should have some respect. PLUS I got an excuse I was going to give you more later this summer, ya right that would never happen. Just looking for suggestions not bashing but let me know how you handle your big day. :)
Posted by ryanchase[/QUOTE]

Yep, I never got gifts from people. Hell, I had someone bring an uninvited guest. But I didn't care. It's one freaking day. One. Move on.

PMeg819 · April 2013

Also, why do you need advice or to talk about this. From your own posting you already were a tacky SOB who confronted the guest.

TheMrsC23 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:1ce60979-b3ab-42ab-ad52-641893f5fa23">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]ryanchase - are you by any chance a librarian?
Posted by AuntFlo[/QUOTE]

I audibly snorted.

Lizzieyounce · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:91905e4c-1643-4ce0-ac0c-4f801eb15958">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cheap Guest : You know his is funny I am the husband and I really find it hard to believe that peope take the time to bash me when I know 10 bucks is whatever But I bet 100% of the women on this site got mad about things and I was jsut asking for a suggestion not bashing but I get it. I know it is what it is but I'm sure 100% of people / brides or couples would be upset with that. I'm not looking fo rpeople to pay for my wedding. I did this for my wife becasue she deserved it. I bet if you look in the past you probalby complained about some guest and stuff, I mena it's easy for people to make excuses and say that's all they have been when you see they take vacations and go our to bars drinking their money away it kind of gets to you. I understand I will get bashed and this is why I really don't go on this site since women make a huge deal about things. I mean people have been on here all day bashing me...Hey I'm just asking don't have to hate
Posted by ryanchase[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Okay then, I feel sorry for your wife. </div><div>
</div><div>Actually, no. I never complained about not recieveing a gift from a guest. Yes, not every guest at our wedding gave us a gift. Most of our guests travelled from out of town to share our day with us. One even flew in from Brazil as a surprise. That was gift enough for us. The mere presence of our friends and family was present enough for us. We could have eloped and saved the money we spent on the wedding, instead we decided that we wanted to share our day with our friends and family, NOT because we expected gifts. Those are just lagniappe.</div><div>
</div><div>Your priorities are really messed up.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>ETA: Oh, and we paid for the entire wedding ourselves. Actually my new husband did since I'm an at home mom and a full time student. </div>

blueikaos · April 2013

So, what you're saying is, I can't eat two cupcakes?

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/neil-no.gif

VarunaTT · April 2013

Actually, Ryan, not only did I pay for my own wedding, we specifically requested guests not to bring gifts. We had a handful who insisted and we accepted those gratefully. The rest of the people I wined and dined for absolutely no other reason than I wanted to party with them.

Astounding, isn't it?

VarunaTT · April 2013

Also, I'm in love with the person who posted Neil. If we ever had a wedding, we would make sure to provide plenty of cupcakes, so people could have more than just 1.

Also, how would taht work. "I have exactly 75 people, so make 75 cupcakes?" Bakers make additional in case of accidents and last minute additions all the time. I really don't think someone went w/out a cupcake b/c of this woman.

lovefuzzies · April 2013

Wow, just wow. On the off chance that this is not a troll or similar:

So what you're saying is that well-meaning people who give $10 as a wedding gift in a card that costed almost $5 completely and totally suck, even though those people might live paycheck to paycheck and really can't afford anything more. AND the fact that they even went out of their way to give you a gift isn't enough for your greedy arse. Oh, and those trips you see them talking about on FB? Did you ever think they were working or someone was nice and paid their way? Not that it's any of your business what they do with their money but you don't know the whole story behind everyone else's lives. You may think you do because but you don't REALLY know what's going on in the background.

nicoleg1982v2 · April 2013

Lololol this whole thread. Also, the person clamoring the most for respect usually has done nothing to earn it.

MeeJay22 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:effaa2e4-c09f-425a-8aff-535621d0d06b">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cheap Guest : Just wondering did you have family support or anything? I mean anything? I'm sure you did. I'm sure daddy helped, nice You know how much weddings are now right? I paid over the top and hate I have to defend myself but these posting are crazy I simply asked for advise. I'm sure you know peoiple go blowing money at bars and everywhere but to come to a wedding where there is everything and give what they did is an insult. I'm sure you were or are going to be upset when you get a low ball amount. Granted it's not about the money at all it's the point. I mean how can you ever go to a wedding and give that. Have you done it if so that's bad. I just don't get it. Oh and get back to me about that question just wondering if daddy paid.... :)
Posted by ryanchase[/QUOTE]

Let's try this Ryan,
My FI and I are paying for our whole wedding (an expensive wedding, at a fancy country club, we even invited my whole family and I don't even really like 50% of them). We also pay for our entire college education and I pay my whole living expenses and support my sister... Did I mention that we are both still college students? The thing is- it's irrelevant who paid for the wedding seeing as it's YOU who made the budget... And I don't go boo-hooing about it because all of it was a choice made by FI and I. If we were invited to a wedding right now $20 would be VERY generous and probably come straight out of the grocery budget. You are defintely better off moving on and enjoying your time with your wife. You honestly don't know your guest situation any more than you know about the lives of random people on the internet. PP did mention she was paying for her wedding so the interrogation was unnecessary. Also. google it about 40% of couples pay for their own weddings these days so you are preaching to the choir!

MeeJay22 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:92beff90-0017-4afb-968b-0d1266e1694e">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cheap Guest : I didn't want the cookie back I was making a point. This guest along with others took a cupcake which is like our cake. So if one of your guest took a piece of your cake before you even cut it wouldn't you be upset? I did call this guest out and I got an excuse Oh I have no money my bank account is in the negative, but the thing is she just went on a road trip. So see my point people spend where they want and don't care or make excuses. She took it well but again she said she was going to give us more when she starts working more. Which is BS since her and other sgo out all the time and place it up on FB. I have to regrets calling her aout and maybe some others. I feel no shame. I mean it's crazy. Have you ever been to a wedding and given $10? I couldn't do it. Hey just want to thank you for not being a smart butt on here. I appreciate it. I'm just a lucky husband trying to figure out people. :)
Posted by ryanchase[/QUOTE]

Also, you don't know how she's paying for that. When FI and I were first dating, many years ago, he used to take me out ALL THE TIME. My friends assumed I had money when in reality my account balance was under $50 for close to a year. Was I supposed to borrow money from him in addition to his generousity to give gifts to my friends? Also, FI and I won a 3 day trip and $1000 worth of local gift certificates this year. I didn't realize I had to put a disclaimer on FB that I didn't actually pay out of pocket for the steakhouse a few weeks ago...

Peledreamsofrain · April 2013

OP, you went about this all wrong. Next time you throw a wedding, hire these dudes.

Guaranteed to milk the crowd for all the cash their worth. Guaranteed!

krizzo17 · April 2013

Wait, I have a question:

Were the cupcakes like your cake?

NOLABridesmaid · April 2013

One cupcake per guest? Really?

thejucheidea · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:7d79d807-6f1b-4f98-a05f-83ebd8b57f6f">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cheap Guest : Aren't you tired of excuses when people say they don't have time or any money to do anything but wait for it post all day on FB of them taking trips and drinking it up?
Posted by ryanchase[/QUOTE]
How dare people choose how to spend their own money. Instead of paying for a break from life via a short vacation or a night at the bar, she should have spent all of her money giving you a bigger wedding gift. There is no way that she deserves a vacation when your poor self just didn't get enough gift money. How. dare. she.

notamrs · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:f96fb00f-b91d-4889-a90d-cde074a67c93">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, I'm in love with the person who posted Neil. Posted by VarunaTT[/QUOTE]

Word. Please come back and play some more.

thejucheidea · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:75646eb4-e945-47e7-aa1c-ff40e382e496">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]Wait, I have a question: Were the cupcakes like your cake?
Posted by krizzo17[/QUOTE]

OP, I'm gonna need you to come back and answer this question, because it's been bugging me. Your previous posts have not addressed this, but I feel like it's important to have an answer here.

kerbohl · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:effaa2e4-c09f-425a-8aff-535621d0d06b">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cheap Guest : Just wondering did you have family support or anything? I mean anything? I'm sure you did. I'm sure daddy helped, nice You know how much weddings are now right? I paid over the top and hate I have to defend myself but these posting are crazy I simply asked for advise. I'm sure you know peoiple go blowing money at bars and everywhere but to come to a wedding where there is everything and give what they did is an insult. I'm sure you were or are going to be upset when you get a low ball amount. Granted it's not about the money at all it's the point. I mean how can you ever go to a wedding and give that. Have you done it if so that's bad. I just don't get it. Oh and get back to me about that question just wondering if daddy paid.... :)
Posted by ryanchase[/QUOTE]

So just because I'm a woman, you assume that I'm a daddy's girl? You're wording this like I'm an entitled princess that gets whatever I want.
Anything I have had in life, I had to work for. My parents aren't well-off, so didn't pay for college, living expenses, and will not pay for my wedding. My parent's contribution to my wedding? Moral support.
I also stand by my comment that if some people don't give me an expensive gift, I DON"T CARE. It's their choice, and they might not have had the money for it. I'd rather they keep what money they have then.
I also have to point out that there is no set price for weddings. You pay what you think necessary. My wedding budget is quite low - I'm not buying into the hype that you have to pay $20 000 + in order to have a proper wedding. I'm very sorry that, from the sounds of it, you did fall for that lie, and did exactly what the wedding industry wanted you to.

kerbohl · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:f1513129-9332-4cdb-aa7d-4d65d99ccfd0">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cheap Guest : Let's try this Ryan, My FI and I are paying for our whole wedding (an expensive wedding, at a fancy country club, we even invited my whole family and I don't even really like 50% of them). We also pay for our entire college education and I pay my whole living expenses and support my sister... Did I mention that we are both still college students? The thing is- it's irrelevant who paid for the wedding seeing as it's YOU who made the budget... And I don't go boo-hooing about it because all of it was a choice made by FI and I. If we were invited to a wedding right now $20 would be VERY generous and probably come straight out of the grocery budget. You are defintely better off moving on and enjoying your time with your wife. You honestly don't know your guest situation any more than you know about the lives of random people on the internet. <strong>PP did mention she was paying for her wedding so the interrogation was unnecessary. Also. google it about 40% of couples pay for their own weddings these days so you are preaching to the choir!</strong>
Posted by MeeJay22[/QUOTE]

Thanks for backing me! :)

Cheap Guest

Re: Cheap Guest

February 14, 2013

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