My brother doesn't want to be a groomsman because his wife not a bridesmaid

nomnom22 · April 2013

I asked my brother to be a groomsman but he is refusing because his wife is not a bridesmaid.
My feance invited only her girlfriends to be bridesmaids. Are we supposed to invite his wife to be a bridesmaid?

nomnom22 · April 2013

Sorry for the duplication

libby2483 · April 2013

No, your FI is under no obligation to ask your brother's wife to be a bridesmaid. My H has been in weddings that I have not been in and vice versa. I'm sorry that your brother is being so unreasonable.

SlothGoals · April 2013

Ditto Libby.

Your brother is beng unreasonable. Let him know that your FI's bridal party is her business and yours is your business. Call his bluff and say, "I'm sorry you feel that way but by fiancee's bridal party is chosen. I hope you'll still attend as a guest."

ETA: clarity

Sierra524 · April 2013

Nope, you dont have to have his wife as a BM. BM should be the ladies that are closest to the bride.

JoanE2012 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_my-brother-doesnt-want-to-be-a-groomsman-because-his-wife-not-a-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:4a26a3a9-8200-4930-ab16-f5f24678cfa1Post:8d863b19-59df-44e7-a68a-3fcbf5cca6eb">My brother doesn't want to be a groomsman because his wife not a bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]I asked my brother to be a groomsman but he is refusing because his wife is not a bridesmaid. My feance invited only her girlfriends to be bridesmaids. Are we supposed to invite his wife to be a bridesmaid?
Posted by nomnom22[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>He's acting like a baby. Tell him you'll see him at the wedding as a guest.</div><div>
</div>

Jen4948 · April 2013

Neither your brother nor his wife had any right to expect your fiancee to ask his wife to be a bridesmaid. Tell him you look forward to seeing them as guests at your wedding.

Peledreamsofrain · April 2013

Your brother is being rude and overbearing. He has no place to dictate the composition of your fiance's wedding party. That is a very personal decision that she will be making.

AddieCake · April 2013

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.

GoodLuckBear14 · April 2013

Your brother is being ridiculous. I wonder though if there is a history of his wife being slighted by your family that may be fueling this.

Nightingalejules · May 2013

Unless every other "couple" in the bridal party are married to eachother, this is just dumb. None of our attendants are paired with their SO or spouse. It's a couple of really close friends and our siblings, only. Not inlaws.

MuppetFan · May 2013

Agree - your brother is wrong. He doesn't get to make demands on who's in your bridal party. Does he want to be in his sister's wedding -or not? Yes or no. That's all he'd be getting from me as a response.

MeganLAnderson · May 2013

Could you make them feel better by giving her a job like handing out programs as people go in to the ceremony? I felt bad about not being able to include some people in our wedding party but have offered them other tasks to feel included.

Jennyandscott14 · May 2013

Maybe this would be a good chance for your fiancé to bond with the sister in law. If there is room maybe add her in. Chances are they will know each a lot longer then she may end up knowing some of her friends that are in the wedding party.

Jen4948 · May 2013

Jennyandscott14 said:

Maybe this would be a good chance for your fiancé to bond with the sister in law. If there is room maybe add her in. Chances are they will know each a lot longer then she may end up knowing some of her friends that are in the wedding party.

Nobody should be added if the bond doesn't already exist. I've read any number of horror stories about brides who added in bridesmaids at the request (no, demand) of their family, fiance and FILs, and the bridesmaids behave as though they never should have been added in the first place but can't be kicked out.

Not only that, there is absolutely no reason why the SIL can't stand up with the groom if it's that important, and no one should be demanding that his/her spouse/SO have a place in the wedding party. That's not a good foundation to form a bond on.

Sandra · May 2013

If your brother refuses to be there by your side is his issue not yours. Your future wife is not obligated to ask her to be her bridesmaid.

Tell him that you hope he attends to your wedding. Don´t pay his game. This is your party not his.

My brother doesn't want to be a groomsman because his wife not a bridesmaid

Re: My brother doesn't want to be a groomsman because his wife not a bridesmaid

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