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Bridal Party Input Limitation on Dresses

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Re: Bridal Party Input Limitation on Dresses

  • ohmrs2014ohmrs2014 Dirty Jerz mod
    Moderator 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    In Response to Re: Bridal Party Input Limitation on Dresses:
    In Response to Re: Bridal Party Input Limitation on Dresses : Please read all of my posts. I asked and was told price wasn't an object unless it was "outrageous, like $500". She also pointed out more than anew dresses upwards of $300 that she really liked, so as a PP me toned, I think she doesn't like the dress and instead is saying the dress is too costly, perhaps not to offend my taste. I'm not sure why people are up in arms over the money issue. It's not that unheard of to spend that much on a BM dress in this area, for a formal wedding. My main question, which is how I ended my original post, is would it be inappropriate to pick out dresses on my own. I comprehend that it's reasonable and fair if she does not want to pay more than a certain amount, I just need that to be communicated to me when I ask, and I've asked multiple times.
    Posted by Mer380

    I feel like your comparing the cost of a BM dress to how formal your wedding is.  That's not the case at all.  And like I said, I too am from Jersey and you can find gorgeous dresses that don't cost that much money.
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  • In Response to Re: Bridal Party Input Limitation on Dresses:
    I just need that to be communicated to me when I ask, and I've asked multiple times. Are you aware that this IS a community of adults, and that you don't have the right to direct how people post? We're giving you good advice. You're not listening to it because it's not what you want to hear. The fact that people often pay that amount is irrelevant.  Lots of people pick their noses, too.  That's no reason for you to be a lemming and do the same. Ask THEM what they're willing to spend.  Pick the lowest figure, and select styles in that range. They should be consulted as to style, because THEY are paying for the dress, and wearing it. The wedding stops being all about you once you include others in it.
    Posted by RetreadBride
    As you acknowledged in your last comment, I have stated that I've asked for a budget various times, with no hard response. I think you misunderstood -I meant I've asked my MOH not the boards. And I do appreciate everyone's input. It's given me a lot of ideas and changed my view on how to go about this. Thanks and again I'm sorry to those who I have offended as that was not my intent.
  • Although some of the comments here sound a tad elitist, if you asked your BM in private what they could spend and you picked a dress within that given budget, there is something else going on.  Either your bridal party doesn't like the dress and thinks that $260 is too much to spend on that particular dress or they may have had a budget change.  Find out which it is before jumping to any conclusions and getting into  a fight.  It would be very easy to let a small thing like a dress get in the way of what is really important.  
  • Eh, I'm not responding to the majority of the thread because it makes me tired (primo BM dresses need to be a comedy sketch.)

    However, in light of the information you revealed as the thread went on, I'd clarify with this one BM if her budget has changed (life can do that to people, it happens).  If during the course of talking with her, it ends up that she just doesn't like the dress, you have two options:

    1.)  Have different dresses in the WP.  It's highly in vogue right now, and looks awesome
    2.)  Politely let her know it's the dress that is required.  If she refuses to buy it, she's excused herself from the party (no need to boot her yourself, it's the natural end result).
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • In Response to Re: Bridal Party Input Limitation on Dresses:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridal Party Input Limitation on Dresses : Thanks for your understanding! I do plan on picking at least three dresses from the same designer's line to give everyone options, particularly my matron and maid of honor and my junior bridesmaid. I think my comments regarding the pictures were a hit over stressed on my part. I'm getting a lot of pressure from my maid of honor to go all over NYC (where my fiancé and I lived, she never did and doesn't) to look at dresses, particularly at David's Bridal which I am not conceding to. The customer service there is atrocious and I'm having a premium wedding. I understand being cost- conscious but Do not want to sacrifice quality, there must be a middle ground. I'm also continuously being texted pictures of various junior bridesmaids dresses from her mother, my aunt and being asked when she can place the order and even having to listen to such absurd advice as velvet gowns (on Easter no less, to the point where my fiancé got so mad he rolled his eyes at my dad and said it was time to go). I'm feeling like something so simple is becoming such a headache when the typical things, such as budget are flowing smoothly. It's making me question 'who's wedding is this anyway' . I've been in my fair share of weddings and always had a motto of 'out up and shut up'. I gave everyone 11 months notice with personalized thank you. Ards for agreeing to stand up for me. Please ignore the 'typos' for some reason this site doesn't Gree with my iPad and isn't permitting me to go back and fix anything!
    Posted by Mer380[/QUOTE]

    sorry OP, but you come off pretty snobby to me.  Maybe at first your girls agreed to a $500 budget (which is absurd) but now one is saying $260 is too much (and it is).  Its ONE dress for your wedding that they most likely will not wear again (long dresses are hard to re-use IMO).  Just because you come from an affluant area does not mean you are entilted to making your friends purchase ubber expensive dresses.  A wedding costs a lot of money--there is the dress, travel, showers, bachelorette parties, etc.  I have friends that are well off, but I still did not make them buy an overly expensive dress.  I am having a "premium" wedding as you say, and guess what--my girls found BEAUTIFUL dresses at Davids Bridal for under $150.
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  • Mer380Mer380 member
    10 Comments
    edited May 2013
    In Response to Re: Bridal Party Input Limitation on Dresses:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridal Party Input Limitation on Dresses : sorry OP, but you come off pretty snobby to me.  Maybe at first your girls agreed to a $500 budget (which is absurd) but now one is saying $260 is too much (and it is).  Its ONE dress for your wedding that they most likely will not wear again (long dresses are hard to re-use IMO).  Just because you come from an affluant area does not mean you are entilted to making your friends purchase ubber expensive dresses.  A wedding costs a lot of money--there is the dress, travel, showers, bachelorette parties, etc.  I have friends that are well off, but I still did not make them buy an overly expensive dress.  I am having a "premium" wedding as you say, and guess what--my girls found BEAUTIFUL dresses at Davids Bridal for under $150.
    Posted by erinlin25[/QUOTE]

    I'm going to change my mind regarding long dresses; I have,if you read the entire thread, said I would look for ones in a more cost friendly price range. I also admitted to mis-using the term "premium" as that is the package I booked with my venue. I don't think anyone has any right to tell me $260 is too much- I've paid double that as a bridesmaids years ago, and that aside, I highly doubt anyone would approve of me saying a $50 dress "is way too cheap" . No one is traveling, no one is paying for the shower, which, again, had you read the thread, you would know this. I don't even want a bachelorette party, I would prefer for my fiancé and I to get our group together for a baseball or football game. I'm sorry, but I view David's Bridal as an impersonal warehouse, and I do not want to shop there. I'm confident I can find dresses to suit everyone's needs without wanting to tear my hair out or feel the need for a scalding shower, both of which have been the result of previous visits to the closest DB to me. Going to the one in Manhattan would just be silly as Klienfields is around the corner. I'd rather find and support a locally owned boutique to work with. Perhaps I am a snob. That does not make me a bad person, nor does it make me a bad friend. I like nice things, as do my friends. Doi want them to overspend for me? No way- hence not even contemplating having them host my shower. I have already, repeatedly posted that I will cost out dresses $200 and under. It really bothers me that strangers think they can , without personal knowledge, and refusing to take my word for it, tell me how much is too much. Although thanks to people being extremely judgmental when it comes to money, I will stop posting. God forbid the carat size of my ring, or the cost of my wedding slip out, I'd imagine I would be crucified.
  • Mer380Mer380 member
    10 Comments
    edited May 2013
    In Response to Re: Bridal Party Input Limitation on Dresses:
    [QUOTE]I'm sorry if we offended you.  You gave us more info as you went along that was not in your original post. If your wedding party agreed to pay any price, then she shouldn't claim expense as an excuse when she's happy to pay the same amount for another style of dress.  It sounds as if she simply doesn't like THIS dress. If the rest of the wedding party is happy with the dress, then you're within rights to tell her, "I'm sorry, but the rest of the wedding party is okay with this dress.  This is the dress.  You can wear any style of shoe or jewelry with it, and you don't have to get it from this particular salon.  Perhaps you can get it at a discount through the store's online site." Or something of the sort.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    Thank you for your understanding!
  • AjulianaAjuliana member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2013
    Hey sweetheart, New Jersey =/ London, Paris, NYC, LA... when I read your posts, they come off as snobby and bratty.  This is how I imagine your "premium" stylish bridesmaid dresses will look:

    The second a bridesmaid tells you a number, that is the budget.  If she changes her mind, that is the new budget.  If you are so tasteful and fancy and classy and wonderful and rich, pay for it yourself.  

    **If you have to tell someone how much money you have, you aren't rich**
    image

    Previously Alaynajuliana


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