Not Yet But Sooooonnnnnn..... :D

jemmini6 · May 2013

This is just....wow....

My coworker's son fought his exwife for custody for years and he had concrete proof that she was an unfit mother (mostly a neglectful drunk). It wasn't until she got her 3rd DUI after a car accident (with their daughter in the car) that she was sentenced to jail and he got custody by default since she was in prison. So I'm finding it a little difficult to believe that his "lies" were enough to take your daughter from you.

Spavigail_824253 · May 2013

You are scaring me potter gleek.

MuppetFan · May 2013

In Response to Re: Not Yet But Sooooonnnnnn.....

:
[QUOTE]This is just....wow.... My coworker's son fought his exwife for custody for years and he had concrete proof that she was an unfit mother (mostly a neglectful drunk). It wasn't until she got her 3rd DUI after a car accident (with their daughter in the car) that she was sentenced to jail and he got custody by default since she was in prison. So I'm finding it a little difficult to believe that his "lies" were enough to take your daughter from you.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

Yeah my friend had a ton of evidence that his ex was neglectful. When they were still together, he came home a few days early from a 2 week business trip to learn that she basically stayed in bed most of that time while their daughter kept having to go to the leftover macaroni and cheese that was on the stove to eat (left out cold for days there). Her clothes were filthy, she hadn't had a bath. He started to document everything then and there and gave her ultimatums. After 3 months, he kicked her out and consulted an attorney.

The attorney explained all of the resources the mother had from the state to help her and how difficult it is for him to get full custody. When the father found out the mother was essentially living in a walk in closet with no separate bed (or any mattress) for their daughter, he got cps involved and started a case. CPS/court allowed her supervised visitation for several months . Eventually, she got to a place where supervision was no longer necessary but she was still not in a position to take care of a child. Even then, the attorney said it would be hard for him to win full custody in court. Luckily, she signed over her rights and custody to our friend. At this point in time, he allows 30% visitation.

Point is that even with an attorney and evidence and state documentation, it's still really hard.

RWS2011 · May 2013

I don't have the legal background that many of these women have, but from the point of view of a parent, you sound as though you traded a real relationship with your child for a hassle free life.

When my ex and I split, there was a lot of tension. While we were both mature enough to be able to cope with each other as parents, there was some animosity. What did I focus on? De-escalating the conflict, because we can both be hot heads. I decided early on to let him tantrum if he wants to, I will let it roll off me, because in order to parent together, we have to be able to communicate. After about 6 months, we have been amicable, and now even friendly. There is no way in hell either one of us would have let the other take the child away and deny visitation.

You seem to be deluding yourself that the choices you made have no consequences, whereas to have actually defended your parental rights would have been somehow damaging. The only way that that would be true is if you actually did neglect or abuse your child. If you did not, there is no earthly way that fighting for your rights could have caused your child pain, grief, or mental anguish.

MuppetFan · May 2013

In Response to Re: Not Yet But Sooooonnnnnn.....

:
[QUOTE]I don't have the legal background that many of these women have, but from the point of view of a parent, you sound as though you traded a real relationship with your child for a hassle free life. When my ex and I split, there was a lot of tension. While we were both mature enough to be able to cope with each other as parents, there was some animosity. What did I focus on? De-escalating the conflict, because we can both be hot heads. I decided early on to let him tantrum if he wants to, I will let it roll off me, because in order to parent together, we have to be able to communicate. After about 6 months, we have been amicable, and now even friendly. There is no way in hell either one of us would have let the other take the child away and deny visitation. You seem to be deluding yourself that the choices you made have no consequences, whereas to have actually defended your parental rights would have been somehow damaging. The only way that that would be true is if you actually did neglect or abuse your child. If you did not, there is no earthly way that fighting for your rights could have caused your child pain, grief, or mental anguish.
Posted by RWS2011[/QUOTE]

I appreciate the excellent example you've set for your kid to show how adults should act and the importance of learning to co-parent and leave your personal negative feelings for each other aside for their sake.

Stina51286 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Not Yet But Sooooonnnnnn.....

:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not Yet But Sooooonnnnnn.....

: In Family Court, where there are children involved, the court's primary focus is the wellbeing of the children. It is in their wellbeing two have both parents involved in the kids lives if that involvement is conducive to a positive, safe and healthy life for the child. They don't take abuse allegations lightly, they investigate them carefully because they want to evaluate the situation before taking away as important an element as a parent from their lives. Even then, there are normaly goals set for a parent to be considered again.
Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

Are you aiming this at me or the OP? I hope the OP.

MuppetFan · May 2013

In Response to Re: Not Yet But Sooooonnnnnn.....

:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not Yet But Sooooonnnnnn.....

: Are you aiming this at me or the OP? I hope the OP.
Posted by Stina51286[/QUOTE]

To OP. I was adding to your comment.

peekaboo2011 · May 2013

Holy balls. Is this what happens when I spend my days napping instead of knotting?

csousa1 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Not Yet But Sooooonnnnnn.....

:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not Yet But Sooooonnnnnn.....

: Like I said to someone else.... My marriage was over when I left him. The rest of it was just paperwork and legal junk. That was Sept 2010. I get with bf in Jan 2011.

Posted by p0tt3rgl33k[/QUOTE]

Kinda like....a marriage certificate?

ETA: Now that I have read the entire thread, I know that "legal junk" also includes your 5 year old daughter. Klassy.

beanbot2002 · May 2013

I need a bigger Christ on a Cracker photo. WHAT IN THE FLUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?! I want to punch my computer right now.

ridedatbike · May 2013

What could you have possibly doneto lose custody you're this child's mother.

minskat30 · May 2013

I don't know you, I don't know your situation and it would be unfair of me to judge without all the facts but it takes a lot in any proceeding to lose a child and get only supervised visits once a month. I feel bad for your daughter that she has to live with someone you say is vindictive and lies...what will happen to her if he turns against her as you say he turned against you at one point? I can't imagine giving up a child to someone who would accuse the mother of his child of child abuse. I have no proof you did anything and what he said was false or true but, if false, someone who makes false accusations of child abuse against another is crazy, terrible, spiteful and borderline psycho...why would you leave your daughter with someone like that?

RamonaFlowers · May 2013

Judges don't just "hear a bunch of lies" and yank that much custody away from a child's parent without there being a significant amount of actual evidence to support the the other parent's case. If that were even remotely true, I'm pretty sure that 90% of divorced couples out there would probably have their kids taken away from both parents, no questions asked.

So, OP, did you ever try to press charges against your ex? Because for him to "tell the court a bunch of lies" that resulted in you only getting one supervised visit a month with your kid, he obviously had to break into your house, smear feces everywhere, leave a bunch of open bottles of pills just lying around, and possibly stage some sort of underground pit bull fighting ring in your basement right before CPS swung by to investigate your home to see if there was any plausibility to his accusations.

Or, is it possible that you really "just didn't want to fight about it" because having your kid around more than one day a month (Complete with court-appointed baby-sitter on hand) would really cut into your time of planning your dream wedding and watching Glee?

ski2play · May 2013

**face palm**

Why do some people (cough, cough, OP, cough) need it to be all about them? So sad!

Not Yet But Sooooonnnnnn..... :D

Re: Not Yet But Sooooonnnnnn..... :D

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