Pre-wedding Parties

Bridal Shower

Okay so I am the MOH in a wedding and recently was confronted by the bride about needing to plan her a bridal shower and that I had to start doing it soon. So I'm at my wits end because I am also a single unemployed mother who is financially strapped and has little to no time to plan anything. As my baby consumes my life right now because he is just a few months old...Not to mention the bride lives hours away from me and I barely know her, she's just my brothers financee. I don't know what she expects me to do especially since I realistically do not have the money to do it with our the time and I know she and her family would expect something elaborate since she's having a very expensive wedding. I recently told her I didn't have the finances only to get a reply from her about how that's why she asked me to begin with if I was sure I could be the MOH with just having a little one. I don't know what to do because I didn't know I would be expected to throw her a shower and be put on the spot about it... especially when shed already known my financial thing and knew I had a baby plus every shower I have ever been to the brides family threw it for her. .. please help and advise me

Re: Bridal Shower

  • sorry-- your bride needs to put down her magazines telling her these bridesmaid/MOH duties.  While it would be nice of you and the other bridesmaids to do this for her you are by no means obligated to this for her.  Its not a requirement to be the MOH.  You were picked to be MOH because you were important to her, not because you were expected to do the most for her--and if she thinks otherwise, she needs a reality check. 

    Talk to the other bridesmaids, her mom, your mom (FMIL? if I followed correctly) and see if people can pool together to organize a shower.  If not, then she just does not get a party or she gets a party you can afford (if you choose to host it).  Anybody can host a shower or pre-wedding party.  I would hope the bride would understand your financial situation.

    If she goes bridezilla on you, then I hope you step down from the role and save yourself time and money!


  • Thanks for the suggestions everyone. I told her today I simply couldn't do it on my budget and she told me she asked another friend to be her maid of honor because her "wedding is three months away and its bucks down time especially since"she needs help and things need to be done and she needs help an by since I'm two plus hours away she just figures if she cuts me out of the role it will be better
  • Sorry for all the errors in that post I'm typing in a new phone
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Wow! She sounds like a peach. Be happy your out of the wedding party. For your shower gift to her, a book on etiquette would be perfect.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Ugh. Yeah, be glad you got demoted and don't give it another thought b/c now she is not your problem. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • I took the demote like a champ. What a (insert word). She never told me I still wasn't her MOH never replied to the message I sent that asked what she expected of her MOH so today I told jet I was going to end up needing names and addys of ppl to invite and she said she figured I didn't want to be her MOH so she asked someone elsebecause they are closer to her and can help her out more but I can still help out with the weddingbecause I am a bridesmaids...haha I just laughed and thought to myself really you're that shady and low that your MOH is the person that helps you the most what the ef?! Does the groom know what he's in for if thus is how aMOH is treated??? DEMOTE YOU AREN'T HELPING ME ENOUGH
  • I honestly wish I could take myself and my son completely out of the wedding and not go at all, but I don't want to offend my brother becauseit'shis wedding too... not to mention I've already said this thing to my fafamily and they tell me it's my brother I can't do that
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Sorry to hear that.  Maybe your brother needs to hear it-if he hasn't already.
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