Etiquette faux pas avoided because of the Etiquette Board

Weezy56 · May 2013

We almost over-invited thinking we were going to have a ton of people decline. Learned from the board that is a no no.

Peledreamsofrain · May 2013

allispain said:

AddieL73 said:

allispain said:

AddieL73 said:

A few years ago, I thought honeymoon registries were a good idea.

Oh Addie, how could you? You would definitely not have earned a cupcake for something like that (I have learned from the boards how much you love them).

I know; it's shameful! You're the second person this week to comment that you've learned from here how I feel about cake/cupcakes. I'm a little worried about this. IS THIS ALL I AM?! Am I just that woman who likes cake?!?!

No worries, you are not just the woman who likes cake. I believe there was recently a thread with extensive praise involving how you're everyone's favorite on here. So don't you worry about having a reputation as the cake lady :-)

Yes... yes there is a thread grumbling about her popularity....

Miss Esa · May 2013

One of my first posts her on TK was asking information about hosting my own engagement party. At first I was really defensive about the idea of hosting my own party, but after sleeping on it I realized how wrong I was. Since then I have stuck around and lurked to make sure that I am not being rude or doing anything that could be considered a faux pas.

erinlin25 · May 2013

I definitely thought honeymoon registries were a cool new thing--and pissed to find out that the couples massage I bought my friend years back may not have actually been "used " for that nor that the amount I "paid" did not go to them. I would have much rather given her a check directly. She did say she enjoyed it, but I really do not know!

AJuliaNJ · May 2013

I would have given my bridesmaids their dresses as their bridesmaid gift instead of an actual gift.

kmcclelland7 · May 2013

Admittedly we almost had a honeymoon registry. I initially said ok to FI (his idea) when he brought it up, but just couldn't figure out why it bugged me...until I read it on here. Ohh same as asking for money you say? No wonder I felt awkward bringing it up to close family when we started considering places for registries. Thank you TK :-)!

LakeR2014 · May 2013

Before reading this post I had no idea getting gifts for the BMs to be used during the wedding was rude, definitely not making that mistake and will now be searching for the thread that says that to learn more....also, was definitely aware of the honeymoon registry faux pas - so tacky!

MayberryAfterMidnight · May 2013

I briefly considered a honeymoon registry. Ultimately rejected that idea because I'm really cheap and got angry the sites took out 7%, but it's only once I started following these boards that I realized how rude they are. Probably more importantly, I had planned to NOT HAVE SEATING FOR EVERYONE AT THE CEREMONY. I cringe to think about it now, but our ceremony will be outside on a hill and super short, so I figured I only needed to provide seating for a few elderly guests, right? Just wrong. Point is, newbies - welcome, and remember that these boards really do help.

KatWAG · May 2013

I learned that Bridesmaids are only responsible for the dress. I thought I could pick out shoes, jewelry etc. I ended up picking a shoe color and told them to wear whatever jewelry they would like. No one notices the BMs shoes.

Also, if you want your BMs to have their hair and makeup done, you have to pay for it.

LakeR2014 · May 2013

Do you know what the original thread was called where the BM gifts and what to gift/not to gift was mentioned?

wittykitty14 · May 2013

The whole SO thing. Both FI and I figured that married, engaged, or just a frickin long time being together was enough. I quickly learned that was a big HELL NO. Luckily we fixed our guest list to include all SOs before the invites went out

southernbelle0915 · May 2013

I fully planned on doing charity donations as favors (a part of me still kind of wants to). Even when I posted that I'd pick a "neutral" charity I was reminded that no charity is "neutral", which I can understand. We're opting not to do favors at all and it's saving us a boatload.

Also, I took the advice of FMIL and put "attire" information on our website when we were first getting started - it seemed ok and helpful for people to know what to wear. How wrong that was! Luckily I took it down before we told anyone what the URL was - phew! And of course we did NOT include it on our invitations.

It's tough love but would you rather have your friends tell you your fly is down or you have something in your teeth so you can avoid further embarrassment? I know I would so that's why I'm here.

jemmini6 · May 2013

This is a great idea for a thread! Too many times I see newbs get offended that their ideas are shot down, but never realize that the people shooting them down more than likely had them too when they first started.

When I first got engaged, I think I asked about ways to ask if my IL's would be contributing money. I was amazed by the responses, not because I was offended, but because I hadn't thought of it that way before. It was such a great insight to understand the reasons behind why certain things aren't okay, which you don't always think of at first.

Kate61487 · May 2013

VanessaR13 said:

Do you know what the original thread was called where the BM gifts and what to gift/not to gift was mentioned?

@VanessaR13 - it's probably every other thread on the Wedding Party and/or Moms and Maids board. Bottom line is if it's to be used in your wedding it's a gift for YOU, not for them.

My first post on this board was asking about how to find out more about the shower sitch on H's side of the family (because surely his relatives are falling all over themselves to plan a party for a special snowflake like me). It came from a sincere, totally uneducated place after my aunts had offered to throw a shower; I was trying to figure out if I was supposed to include H's family on the guest list or not. I was torn a new one. But I'm grateful those ladies kept me from making an ass of myself in front of H's family.

Storm29 · May 2013

I'm still pretty new, but I am sooooo glad that I came here. In fact, I wish I had come sooner, because I made a few embarrassing slips: sending one invite to a family that includes over 18-college students, for example. I'm still cringing about that.

My dad thought a honeymoon registry would be a great idea. Luckily I never considered it (we're fairly young and actually need all that traditional registry stuff pretty badly), and he completely backed off the idea when I learned what they really were on here and explained it.

This board has saved me from: "wedding prop" bridesmaid gifts, pretty detailed attire info on the website, and "donation in lieu of favors".

daveANDkristen · May 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

I fully planned on doing charity donations as favors (a part of me still kind of wants to). Even when I posted that I'd pick a "neutral" charity I was reminded that no charity is "neutral", which I can understand. We're opting not to do favors at all and it's saving us a boatload.

It's always okay to make a donation, you know that. You and your new husband will be happy to look back and remember that you started out your marriage with a thoughtful donation. I just don't care for the thought of advertising your donation as a "favor" to anyone other than the charity. Skipping favors altogether is a great idea and will honestly not be missed!

Etiquette faux pas avoided because of the Etiquette Board

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