Poll - How much to be a bridesmaid?

LakeR2014 · June 2013

As I'm getting closer to the finish line of my most recent experience of being a bridesmaid, I'm beginning to wonder if my experiences, in regards to cost of being a bridesmaid are similar to everyone else's, so I'm putting a questionnaire/poll out there, answer as you wish.

INFO: Were you a bridesmaid, Maid of Honor, or Matron of Honor? What state/country are you from?

1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc)

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more?

3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again?

4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse?

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for."

NOLAbridealmost · June 2013

LakeR2014 said:

As I'm getting closer to the finish line of my most recent experience of being a bridesmaid, I'm beginning to wonder if my experiences, in regards to cost of being a bridesmaid are similar to everyone else's, so I'm putting a questionnaire/poll out there, answer as you wish.

INFO: Were you a bridesmaid, Maid of Honor, or Matron of Honor? What state/country are you from?

Maid of Honor, Louisiana.

1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc)

Dress: $250
Shower I hosted: $350
Shower gift: $75
Professional Hair: $75
Bachelorette Party: $200
Soo......grand total $950

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more?

I basically expected it; I've been around this board a long time and knew what the brides in my circle typically get from their bridesmaids (ie., it's normal in our circle to host a shower and a B party...I would have been mortified if I was the first to buck that tradition).

3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again?

Yes, it was worth it. It was a beautiful wedding and I know that the bride really appreciated the things I did for her.

4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse?

No; it's about the same.

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for."

I believe my local bridesmaids probably spent less because I chose less expensive dresses and had a smaller shower. I had one OOT bridesmaid that had more travel costs, but I paid for her hotel room for the wedding weekend to try to defray some of them, but she probably spent about the same that I did once gas and other travel costs are factored in.

manateehugger · June 2013

I'm about to complete my fifth tour as a bridesmaid (two of those tours were my sisters). I'm from St. Louis. All of those weddings were in Missouri, so transportation costs haven't been bad for me.

1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc)

I've co-hosted two showers. But they were pretty basic at-home showers so I maybe put down $100 along with the other bridesmaids. B-parties my budget is about $75 for required activities (e.g. shared hotel room) and then I'll pay my own way for food/drinks. The one I'm in for this weekend has been the worst - lots of demands. FI is a groomsman and we tallied it up between the two of us that we're dropping $923. Yuck.

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more?

Usually it's about what I thought it would be. Again, this weekend is the exception.

3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again?
Being a BM can be kind of a pain. But the only one I think I'll regret is the one this weekend.

4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse?

I think it brought me and my sisters closer together actually. Otherwise, my experiences have been relatively drama free - this weekend is the exception, again haha - but I live out of state so I've escaped most of it.

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for."

The only expenses I have the mentality of "this is what you signed up for" is the dress (within the agreed budget) and transportation I suppose. I hate bride wedding party entitlement - don't treat your friends like crap!

ETA: I should add that I'm currently a poor grad student, so that is a big part of my budgeting. If I was drawing a good salary, I think I'd be a lot more flexible about expenses. But part of being a considerate bride is realizing if your WP has the money you're expecting from them.

radleyboo · June 2013

Were you a bridesmaid, Maid of Honor, or Matron of Honor?

Last wedding I was in, I was MOH in my sister's wedding.

What state/country are you from?
Michigan

1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc)

Dress: $220

Alterations: $45

Shoes: $25 (Yay Payless!)

Hair: $60

Bra: $45

Shower gifts: 3x $50=$150

Threw a Shower (Invitations, food, decor, paper goods, prizes for games): $300

Bachelorette Party Gift: $50

Wedding Gift: $100

That's about $950, if I'm doing my math correctly.

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more?
It's about what I expected, but sort of shocking seeing it all written out.

3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again?

Absolutely, she's my only sister. It was my honor.

4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse?

I think it made us closer! I was sincerely happy for her, her H is a doll.

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for."

The dresses were about $200, neither needed alterations. I told them to wear whatever shoes they wanted and style their hair how they'd like, no need to buy new if they have something that works. They both opted to make hair appointments with me, but it was not a requirement. I only had 1 personal shower, I'm guessing they each spent about $50. It was at a restaurant and everyone paid for themselves. The wedding is local, no airfare or hotels needed. I never heard anything about any cost problems, and am buying them mani/pedis the day before. I'm hoping it hasn't been an expensive venture for them, I've definitely been cognizant of that as my BM is just entering grad school and pretty broke.

Hope that helps!

AddieCake · June 2013

I've been a bridesmaid twice; once in IL, once in TX.

First time:

1. Dress was $150. I don't remember how much the shoes were. I was never asked to contribute any more money toward anything, and I was too young to know to offer. Gift was $50.

2. I was too young to know what the norm was or what to expect.

3. The dress itself was not worth $150 in my opinion, but I would do it again for my friend.

4. Being a bridesmaid had no affect on our relationship.

Second time:

1. Dress was a $30 black dress from Ross. I wore shoes I already had.

The wedding was put together in less than 3 weeks, so there wasn't much time for parties and such. For the bachelorette, we went to dinner and got belly dancing lessons from the bride and her friends who take classes, and so the only cost I incurred was for her dinner and my own. I also spent $50 on her gift.

2. It was way less than I thought I would spend or would have been willing to spend. If we had had more time, I would have gladly organized and contributed to a shower for her.

3. I would absolutely do it again. I have worn the dress several times since.

4. Being in the wedding didn't affect my relationship one way or the other.

I was very aware of the cost for my bridesmaids and made sure to let them know nothing was expected other than to get the dress. They, however, went above and beyond and spoiled me rotten at my bachelorette.

calliopeia2013 · June 2013

Ok, I'll take a shot. I've been a bridesmaid once, and a maid of honor once.

1. When I was a bridesmaid, I spent probably a total of $220 (ETA: $140 for the dress, $30 for shoes, $50 for professional makeup), not including wedding gifts. (We didn't throw an e-party or a shower because the bride didn't want one, and the b-party was a low-key movie night.) In the wedding that I was MOH in, I spent nothing; the brides (it was a same-sex wedding) covered everything and I wore a dress I already owned.

2. In both of these cases, this was roughly the amount of money I expected to spend when I agreed to be in the wedding, since I knew what the basic wedding plans were.

3. Totally worth it. But in the grand scheme of things I didn't spend very much.

4. No effect on my relationship with the bride in either case. (The groom's crazy groomzilla behavior in the wedding that I was a bridesmaid in DID affect my relationship with him, but that's a whole different story.)

5. My bridesmaids spent as much or as little as they wanted on my wedding- their only expense was their attire, and I asked them to pick literally whatever they wanted as long as it was navy blue. I think the dresses they picked ranged from about $60 to about $250, but, like I said, they each picked them entirely on their own. I didn't have a shower; instead I had a bridal luncheon that was paid for by an older family friend, so they didn't have any expenses there, and rather than a b-party, DH and I just had a night out with our entire wedding party and their SOs shortly before the wedding, which we picked up the entire tab for. Some of them would have had pretty major travel expenses since they lived overseas, but we planned the wedding to take place when they had plans to be back in the US anyway, so that they wouldn't have any additional travel costs beyond what they were spending already. I tried to be very cognizant of the costs, because DH and I were both working professionals when we got married, while most of our bridal party was still in school (and therefore on pretty limited incomes). I definitely didn't want them feeling any financial burdens because of the wedding.

southernbelle0915 · June 2013

So take this with a giant shaker of salt because everything is REALLY dependent the bride, your circle of friends, the type of wedding, etc.

I was MOH in my sister's wedding and a BM in a couple of friends' weddings. My sister's wedding was in New Orleans, one in TX and the others were in the Midwest.

Obviously, where I had to travel, I bought a plane ticket (avg. $350) and stayed 3 nights (Th/Fri/Sat) on each occasion. For my sister's wedding, my parents rented a house and I stayed with them for free. The other weddings, I got hotels wherever there was a room block (avg. $125/night). I never had to rent a car.

I threw my sister's shower and bachelorette (it was local in our hometown so she traveled back to family for this one) and spent about $1,200 between the two events - same weekend.

In GENERAL for my own personal experience, I'd tell the bride my budget for a dress is $250 (unless I have to travel for the wedding - then I'd probably tell her $150). I'd expect to spend about $150/night on a hotel if it wasn't local. I'd expect to buy her a shower gift if she had a shower - probably $50 - and a wedding gift - probably $100 (I spent more on my sister because we're closer). I'd expect to get her a little something for her bachelorette if she had one - probably $40 or so. I'd want to get my hair/make-up done and would expect to pay about $100 for that. I'd expect to pay for shoes and jewelry unless the bride offered and would expect about $100 for all that.

Yes - in my experience it has all been well worth it and I have loved standing up for my friends in their weddings.

All that said, as a BM you should only be expected to pay for your attire and show up on time.

LakeR2014 · June 2013

Lol

lyndausvi · June 2013

LakeR2014 said:

As I'm getting closer to the finish line of my most recent experience of being a bridesmaid, I'm beginning to wonder if my experiences, in regards to cost of being a bridesmaid are similar to everyone else's, so I'm putting a questionnaire/poll out there, answer as you wish.

INFO: Were you a bridesmaid, Maid of Honor, or Matron of Honor? What state/country are you from? I've been BM and MOH at quite a few weddings. I was living in different states and the weddings were mostly OOT.

1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc)

I would say $1000+ per wedding. Depended on where I was compared to the wedding.

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more?
I doubt I will be in any other weddings, but I always plan on spending $1000+.

3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again? Yep

4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse? Nope

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for." I don't know what my BM's spent. The dresses were under $150. Alterations were on their own. I know my sister spent $100 on hers. For some reason I never need more than a hem for any dress I ever got, so it's different for each person. They all picked up their own shoes and jewelry and hair.

I do not know the cost of my shower. If I had to guess a few hundred for 2 of them. The other 2 didn't contribute.

They all had travel via car. But between my parents and MIL lodging was free. We paid for their meals on Friday and Saturday.

We did do our nails the day before. That cost $50 or so?

wittykitty14 · June 2013

I wish I could contribute more...but I'll answer the last one!

Because nearly all of my BMs are on a tight-ish budget, I wanted the costs to be as low as possible. Their dresses are $100. They can wear whatever they want to for shoes and other accessories, and because it's not in my budget, I'm not asking anything of hair or makeup. None of them will have to stay in hotels, but one of them will have to pay gas to get here, and my MOH will probably be taking the train in. My MOH and mom co-hosted my shower, and I know MOH paid for the invites and some of the food. I don't know how much she paid for those. Unless they decide to buy me a gift, the $100 dress only main expense. I'm trying very hard to keep the costs down!

ETA: I'm in VT, if that matters

misshart00 · June 2013

Liatris2010 said:
I feel like you are asking these questions because you had a bad BM experience. I'm sorry. Too bad your bride didn't come over here and take all of our excellent advice.

I agree with this. I hope a bride didn't ruin her friendship with you.

Maggie0829 · June 2013

1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc)

Dress: $210
Alterations: $60
Shoes: $80
Hair: $70
Makeup: $65
Bachelorette party: $250
Bridal Shower (including present): $250
Wedding gift: $300

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more?

This is the first time I really listed out all I spent (I am sure I may have missed a few things...I also didn't include my labor time on the favors and tags I made for the shower, time I spent designing her programs and favor cards, etc, etc). I pretty much expected to spend this much.

3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again?

I love my friend dearly and I know everything I did made her happy and she enjoyed all of it but no I would not do it again.

4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse?

It neither affected it for the worse or for the better.

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for."

I was definitely cognizant of the costs. That is why I told them that pre-parties weren't necessary but that if they insisted, to make them small and simple. I was bad and didn't ask for a dress budget before hand but I went shopping with each of them separately and made sure that they were both ok with the choice (both style and price). Shoes were up to them as was MU/hair.

ETA: The answers are based on my last experience as a BM. I have been in two other weddings but I can't remember what I spent for those.

Kate61487 · June 2013

I have been a BM twice. Both in Indiana (Chicago-land).

Cost #1: about $150 on the dress (which my mom paid for, I was 16). That was it. 2nd time bride (my aunt) didn't want a b-party; shower was thrown by her sisters; wedding was local.

Cost #2: close to $200 on the dress (wasn't consulted on price), $30 or so on shoes (not required). about $100 on the b-party which was my own drinks/dinner and chipping in for limo and bride's stuff (was consulted on price range during planning). $50 on shower gift (shower was thrown by aunts); wedding was local.

Cost #3 - not a BM, but I attended a b-party in vegas this year and I spent close to $1000, easy. Flights were like $600 +meals and entertainment while we were there, hotel (which we split), +bar tabs. It added up. But I knew that going in; just saying sometimes the expenses are by choice, haha. And FTR - not all the BMs attended and as far as I'm aware no one gave them any flak for it.

at 16 I had no clue. The second time it was about what I expected

Yes I would do it again; my answer may have been different if either of my brides was ridiculous but they were both very low key.

I would say somewhere between no effect and making it better

My BM cost: the dress was about $150. There were no other requirements for shoes or accessories; though I think most of them did buy new shoes. The hotel was about $110 a night, but they were free to stay wherever / share / etc. My two MOHs split the b-party; I'm not sure what it cost them, but it was pretty low key - I think they paid for appetizers and cupcakes and my drinks/dinner; everyone else was pay your own way. 4 of the girls were local / reasonable driving distance, my one MOH did have to fly and she came out twice so I'm sure it was pretty pricey for her, but she stayed with me all but the actual wedding night so that offset some of the cost.

I tried to keep the dress reasonable and didn't want to be nitpicky about other stuff; offered a free place to stay when I could (night of the b-party everyone crashed at my place). But things like travel costs when you're OOT - I'll help where I can, but that's what you sign up for. (of course if my MOH couldn't have swung two trips I wouldn't have held it against her)

LakeR2014 · June 2013

misshart00 said:

I feel like you are asking these questions because you had a bad BM experience. I'm sorry. Too bad your bride didn't come over here and take all of our excellent advice.
I agree with this. I hope a bride didn't ruin her friendship with you.

No, we're still friends. But my most recent experience as a BM was very different from the previous ones (cost requirement wise) so I wondered if my previous ones were the exception or if this one was, and also if geography was a factor (ie did regional traditions affected cost).

bunni727 · June 2013

I've never been a bridesmaid, but i can tell you estimates of what mine spent. Two were from KY, one from TN, and one from VA. The prices I'm sharing are the highest possible (for example, two bms hosted a shower, and two did not; I'm sharing what the two that did spent ).

Dress: $99. I don't think they needed alterations. My moh's dress was $129, but I paid for that.
Travel: A tank of gas for each, so maybe $60.
Shower: $50
Gifts: ~$100
They wore shoes they already own, and I paid my own way at my "bachlorette." So around $300 total.

I didn't have any experience, so i just went with what made sense to me. They wore different dresses, and the ones that couldn't afford one I paid for. No one cares what's on their feet, so I told them any black shoe after they pressed for some guidance. They were surprised I didn't care about matching shoes or expect them to have hair/nails/makeup done., because other weddings they have been in, all that stuff was dictated for them at their cost. Showers, bachlorette, and gifts shouldn't be expected, so it's not something I worried about.

It's really crummy to treat bridesmaids poorly, just because they signed up for it. The bride should have asked them because they are her favorite people in the world, so why she would want them to have to suck it up or deal with it or whatever, just because she has in past weddings, is beyond me.

Blue & White · June 2013

All the weddings I've been in have required travel. That obviously ups the cost

First I was a maid of honor and got a $100 dress $20 shoes $350 plane ticket $200 gift. So $700 but really closer to $1000 since fi and I both went to the wedding. I didnt attend the shower or Bach party and the bride still loved me. She is awesome.

Second I was a bridesmaid and dress was $150 shoes free shower and Bach were $80 wedding gift was $300. We drove so gas was $100 approximately. We stayed at our parents house so that was free. About $600 total. Not too bad. I also didnt attend the shower or Bach. I'm obviously the worst bridesmaid ever

The wedding I'm in now as a bridesmaid? The dress was $380. Shower and Bach will be $100-200. Gift will be $200. Hotel will be $150 for two nights. Gas will be about $80. So almost $800 there. I love her so its worth it but I wasn't happy at all with the dress price.

For my wedding? I don't want my bridesmaids to go broke. We haven't picked out dresses yet so so far there all spent $0. I'd expect probably $500 at the end of the day but I'm hoping the required expenses (dress) are closer to $100-150. And I don't have any expectations besides that they buy the dress and show up to the wedding lol. They just tend to go over the top for everything.

harper0813 · June 2013

A very interesting poll!

1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc)

Dress + alterations: $225
Shoes: $100
Hair: $45
Travel: $80
Shower: $50
Bach party: $75
Wedding gift: $75
So around $650 total.

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more?

It was what I imagined. It was a pretty casual affair. I would expect to pay more in other weddings, though.

3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again?

Absolutely. She's one of my best friends and I had so much fun celebrating with her.

4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse?

It's the same. She was a sweet and gracious bride.

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for."

Hmm... I'm not sure exactly what they'll be spending, but they have been eager to spend money that surprised me. They all gave me a high budget for BM dresses so I chose their favorite that cost $240. They are wearing any type of shoes/jewelry they want. One BM is traveling from Europe and another from Chicago, so only the two will pay travel/hotel costs. I guess four of them are hosting my shower, which is very generous of them, and I don't know what they're spending or even doing. Bach party will supposedly be in a little vacation city in my home state, so that will maybe cost $150 per person - again, they chose and planned it and I don't really know the details. All girls wanted to have their hair done and three asked if my makeup artist could do their makeup, too. So I let the girls really have free reign of the whole thing and they volunteered their time, money and effort on their own. They're all such sweethearts.

allispain · June 2013

I was my sister's MOH and will be a BM this fall for a good friend. Being MOH cost me nothing - the wedding was planned in a week (no joke - and no, she was not pregnant) and therefore there were no pre-wedding parties. My mom bought me my dress, I wore shoes I already owned, and no one got their hair or make-up done.
My current BM situation:
1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc)

Bridal shower / bachelorette party - If I attend, will involve a $200-$300 plane ticket plus probably another $50-$100 to contribute to overall costs (including food for the weekend). Lodging would be free since I'd stay at the house of the BM who is hosting.

Dress - $175 plus whatever alterations will be, and they won't be cheap since I'm super short and it's a long dress. We haven't been told yet whether she wants us to have specific shoes, jewelry, etc. I believe she is paying for our hair to be done, but could be inventing that.

Wedding weekend - another plane ticket ($200-$300), hotel (about $300 total), food and other expenses

Gifts: Already bought her a beautiful, meaningful gift for $40, so will probably go closer to $100 on a bridal shower gift

So, all told, about $1000 probably, and will be more if I end up going to her shower/bp weekend. The costs really add up when you have to fly to get there...

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more?

More, because since being asked I got a job offer that involves a move to an entirely different part of the country. Previously, I would have been in the same town as the shower and would have been able to drive 8-9 hours to the wedding itself instead of having to fly to both. But hey, that's life.

3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again?

I'm sure it will absolutely be worth it.

4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse?

So far, not at all. The bride has been very good about asking us for our budgets when choosing a dress, has very low-key expectations for the bridal shower weekend (ie - no crazy demands being made), etc. She's also my BM in my wedding this weekend, and has been a total doll the entire process.

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for."

My BM's only costs are dress ($135 plus minor alterations for a couple girls), getting to the wedding (all are driving so costs will be $100 max per girl), and hotel ($140 for 2 nights). I'm having them wear whatever shoes and jewelry they would like and am paying for their hair. There was no engagement party and our bachelorette weekend involved just the 5 of us girls all staying at one's house, going hiking, and going out dancing. No presents. I don't know precisely how much they all contributed, but they did insist on paying for me when we went out to eat, so I'm guessing $15-$20 bucks each for the entire weekend.

I really did my best to keep costs low - I actually was going to go for a much more budget-friendly dress but they liked the more expensive ones (I picked the designer, fabric, etc. and they picked their style) better so that's the route we went. They voted on it privately so no one felt pressured by herd mentality. Honestly, the way I see it, these are my closest friends - what matters is that they are there, not that they get me expensive gifts or throw me extravagant parties.

ETA: spelling

radleyboo · June 2013

Blue & White said:

The dress was $380. Shower and Bach will be $100-200. Gift will be $200. Hotel will be $150 for two nights. Gas will be about $80. So almost $800 there. I love her so its worth it but I wasn't happy at all with the dress price. .

This is ridiculously expensive! Did she ask you first? I knew BM dresses this expensive were out there, but I have never heard of anyone selecting them. If I'd been in your shoes, I would have likely spoken up, or that would have meant a less expensive shower/wedding gift. Good grief!

jaenella · June 2013

INFO: Were you a bridesmaid, Maid of Honor, or Matron of Honor? What state/country are you from?
Maid of Honour; Ontario, Canada.

1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc)

Dress: 350

Bachelorette: 300

Shoes: 250

Travel: 150

Shower gift: 100

Wedding gift: 250

Total: 1400

If you don't count gifts because those were voluntary, $1050.

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more?

Way more than I thought it was going to be!

3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again?
If I did it again I'd be much firmer about how much I wanted to spend on dress/shoes. All the other girls wanted these particular, expensive choices and I didn't want to be the only dissenting voice so I agreed, but looking back, $600 is ridiculous to spend on an outfit. But, it was worth it.

4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse?
It didn't affect our relationship.

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for."

I am hoping they spend under $500. $80 dress, their own shoes and jewellery, I'm paying for their hair and make up. All but one are local to the wedding. I didn't realize how expensive being a bridesmaid would be before I was one, so I'm definitely trying to be as careful of their budgets as I can.

Weezy56 · June 2013

I have been MOH before, but ill go off my most recent BM experience (my brother is getting married Saturday!)

ETA: we all live in North Carolina

1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc)

Dress - $100
Alterations- $50
Bachelorette party- $250
Shower gifts- $55
Boarding the dogs- will be $90
Hair- will be $50

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more?

Eh, maybe a bit more but I went a little hog wild with my spending at bachelorette weekend

3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again?

Absolutely!

4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse?

Better. I feel like Future sis in law and I get closer everyday.

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for."

I have a feeling both of my maids of honor spent a ton of money. I kept my nose out of their pre wedding party planning but when they approached me about doing an out of town bachelorette weekend my first statement was "i would love too as long as its not inconvenient for everyone". Prob none of my business but I wanted them to know they didn't have to do a bachelorette and shower for me, I was happy just to have them standing with me. They really did go above and beyond though and for that I am very grateful.

jemmini6 · June 2013

INFO: Were you a bridesmaid, Maid of Honor, or Matron of Honor? What state/country are you from?

I've been a BM 3 times, twice for my oldest sister, and once for my middle sister.

1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc)

We'll go with the most recent wedding...

Dress: $120

Wrap: $20

Shoes: $30

Hair: $60

Shower gift: $20 (it was a lingerie shower)

B-party: $50

Wedding gift: $100

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more?

It was about what I imagined it would be, but still seems so high just for a wedding.

3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again?

I'd prefer not to spend that much money on a dress I'll never wear again, but it was for my sister, and since it was her second wedding, obviously I did it again. (definitely helped that her current H is 1000x better than her exH)

4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse?

Not really

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for."

My BMs total cost for my wedding was probably less than $50. Their dress was on clearance from JCP for $35, I declined a shower, we just went to a bar for my bachelorette party and we all paid for our own drinks, and none of them got me a wedding gift (two had just had babies, one was a single mom, so I tried to make it as cost effective for them).

[Deleted User] · June 2013

I was a Bridesmaids for a very close friend. I am from Colorado and the wedding took place in Colorado. Original I was going to be the MOH, but her younger sister (16) was upset when I was originally asked so I turned over the position to her. But, I ended up doing all of the MOH duties.

1. We were all in college, so money was a huge issue. I spent ~$120 on the Bridesmaid Dress. ~$80 on Travel (gas in my car). There was no Engagement Party. I went to her bridal shower, and bought her a gift (~$50). And I did not bring a wedding gift since because of cost issues. Lastly, the Bachelorette Party which I had to throw since her sister became too overwhelmed. We were all under 21 so I had a virgin cocktail party and we went to a restaurant and got chocolate fondue (~$200), but some of the bridesmaids pitched in (~$80 less). Grand Total: ~$370

2. I did not expect to do this amount. The Bride asked me to throw the bachelorette party and so it ended up being more than I thought it would be and then some of the bridesmaids conveniently "forgot" their pitch money and never paid me back.

3. Honestly, after my experience with this particular bride and other issues, I am not looking forward to doing it again and I really hope that my bridesmaids do not feel the way I did at her wedding.

4. Worse. I was in a newer relationship (~6 months the day of the wedding). I was offended when all of the other bridesmaids were invited to have a +1 and none of them had boyfriends. I know that some people may feel that this is rude, but, I mentioned it to her and apparently she had told her fiance's best friend that I would be his date. I was very offended by the whole situation and she kept going on about how amazing it would be if I ended up with her fiance's best friend. I asked her to retract the "date". I had no issue walking with him down the aisle, but I was not going to be his "date" for the night. We are still friends, and I do still love her.

5. I expect my Bridesmaids to pay a bit more since we are all now working real jobs (and are not in college). Currently, the price point for my bridesmaids dress that they are comfortable with is topped at about $180 for the dress.

Kate61487 · June 2013

awebb04 said:

4. Worse. I was in a newer relationship (~6 months the day of the wedding). I was offended when all of the other bridesmaids were invited to have a +1 and none of them had boyfriends. .... she had told her fiance's best friend that I would be his date.

aww hellllll no.

Gisellerina · June 2013

I have been a bridesmaid a bunch of times - most recently this weekend (I'll give the answers based off of Saturday's wedding). I live in Phoenix, AZ.

1.) Engagement Party Gift - $50.00 ish; Bridal Shower Gift - $100.00 ish; Bachelorette Party weekend in Las Vegas - $1,000 ($250 contribution for dayclub; $750 for airfare & hotel); Dress - $400 ish; Dress Alterations - $120; Shoes (required by the bride) - $100; Wedding Gift - $200.00; Hotel $400 (Wedding was local, but stayed at the resort all weekend because it made life easier) - So, about $2,370 total, although I could have saved $400 by not staying at the hotel and I could have spent less on gifts ($350 in gifts).

2.) The amount was what I expected based off of prior experiences.

3.) It was worth it because I really love the bride; she's been a really good friend to me over the years.

4.) I think it might have made our friendship closer; she was really appreciative of everyone's support (there were 7 bridesmaids).

5.) I'm not having any bridesmaids. If I were, I would have expected them to be willing to spend a similar amount on dress and alterations. (Anything between $300 and $600 is the typical bridesmaid dress cost among my friend circle) I would have paid for their shoes and accessories. I declined a friend's offer of a Las Vegas bachelorette party in part because three of us are getting married within 6 months of eachother. I have accepted an offer of a local night out bachelorette party though.

MrsLillyG · June 2013

INFO: MOH, philly suburbs

1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc)

shower/bach: 350, dress/alteration:200, wedding hotel+gas: 300 gift:200

1050 total

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more?
I expected about 1000
3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again?
sure
4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse?
no
5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for."
800-1000, its just typical in my circle

libby2483 · June 2013

Were you a bridesmaid, Maid of Honor, or Matron of Honor? What state/country are you from?

Bridesmaid in Wisconsin

1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc)

Dress (got to pick my own of a certain color): $150

Alterations: $30

Shoes (got to wear any nude or brown shoes): $30

Hair and Make-up (optional): $65

Gift: $75

Bachelorette Party: $100

Travel and Hotel: $300

Total: $750

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more?
It was about what I anticipated, except for the hotel. We moved out of town (temporarily and unexpectedly) right before the wedding, so we had to get a hotel when we had originally planned on sleeping at our own place.

3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again?

Yes.

4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse?

Since she was a BM in my wedding less than two months later, I think that wedding planning together actually strengthened our relationship.

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for."

The cost for my BMs really varied. The dress cost $140 dollars. They could wear any silver shoes and choose whether or not to get their hair and make-up done. Some did get hair and make-up done at the salon, whereas others did it themselves. Some decided to stay at the hotel after the wedding, and others did not. Two of my BMs were local, three were two to three hours away, and one flew in from Turkey, so her traveling expenses were obviously much higher. In addition, some attended showers and bachelorette parties, and others were not able to make it.

[Deleted User] · June 2013

I can tell you about my BM, Cleveland OH

Dresses - $0.00 (I bought them)

Shoes - ranged in prices, they decided they wanted metallic (any shade) and went and found shoes they liked & fit their budget

Hair - $0-50, my girls had option of doing their own hair or getting professionally done

Bachlorette party - $20-$30, we had a girls night in. Everyone brought a snack and a bottle of wine to share and we watched chick flicks and had a fun night in. That's what I wanted, not a crazy night out, just a fund night with my friends. Which worked out well because I got so sick that weekend and spent most of it in bed sleeping.

Bridal shower - not counting gift probably about $50-$75. They

Wedding - their gifts varied based on their financial situation

Jewelry - I bought

I tried to make this more about our friendships than expensive parties and requirements which is what I think make it a good experience for everyone.

CLoGreenEyes · June 2013

INFO: Were you a bridesmaid, Maid of Honor, or Matron of Honor? What state/country are you from? I was a bridesmaid. I am from Maryland, the friend whose wedding I was in lives in Indiana.

1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc) Easily over $1000 with travel and whatnot. Probably between $1100 and $1200 - I would have to look at the spreadsheet.

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more? It was about spot on. I have traveled out to see her before, so I knew about how much that would cost, then just budgeted the rest pretty well.

3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again? Eeeeeeee, what a tough question. I was so happy to be there and be one of the people she wanted beside her, but...attending as a guest would have been a lot easier, and probably slightly cheaper. My friend was far from a bridezilla; it was my own ignorance about how many gifts/pre-wedding parties/etc. I was expected to contribute to, especially since I wasn't in town to actually help choose gifts from the bridal party, go to any pre-wedding parties, etc. The other girls had asked if I would want to contribute, and I mean, I did want to, so...yep. But that was a lot of money.

4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse? Not permanently. I was a little miffed at some stuff that happened the day of. *Shrug* I love my friend, and I know things never go perfectly or as planned, but I was not happy about being separated from BF (aka, the only person there I had even met besides her and her H) the whole day for the privilege taking a trillion photos of the wedding party, being in the receiving line, and sitting at the head table.

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for." Based on my limited experience with weddings, I don't think I would want to have a bridal party. If I did, it would literally only be a, "Show up in a dress of x color at y date and time." No receiving line, very few posed photos (if any), and no head-fucking-table. But BF and I are pretty sure we'd want it to just be the two of us standing up there; we don't want to have to choose between friends and would like to keep it simple.

thejucheidea · June 2013

I haven't been in a wedding yet -- my first bridesmaid experience is in July -- but the ladies in our wedding party are spending as much as they want to, as we're letting them pick their own dresses. We don't expect gifts from them either, so I guess that with the exception of gas money (or flights/hotel for the out of town people in my party), they could technically spend no money on the wedding.

kerbohl · June 2013

I was a MOH for my sister about ten years ago, so most of my expenses I don't remember. I do know that my dress was around $300, and I have never worn it again, and I spent the same on my wedding dress (before alterations). So that seems expensive for a dress, but it was my sister and it made her happy.

Showers in my family are held in an aunt's living room, so the costs are pretty small. I think I spent about $20 and did some baking? And the time baking doesn't really count as an expensive in my book, because I look for excuses to bake for people . . .

I was too young at the time to even attend the bachelorette party. And I know I bought a wedding gift, but can't remember how much I spent.

So all in all, my sister really didn't expect too much of me money-wise and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Our relationship stayed the same.

My poor wedding party hasn't really been kept in the loop about my wedding - I'm delaying dress shopping and any other related attire things until I'm back in the country. Heck, I'm delaying ALL wedding planning until I'm back in the country . . . But I'm really not picky about dresses as long as they wear blue and look beautiful, which shouldn't be hard for them to do. I'm actually hoping to keep the dress under $50, and I hope that isn't wishful thinking. My shower will be similar to my sister's, and I would like a low-key "adult sleepover" b-party if my sister, who is planning, thinks that is what she wants to throw. And all my girls besides my sister are local, so limited travel costs.

Poll - How much to be a bridesmaid?

Re: Poll - How much to be a bridesmaid?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards