Acceptable Gap?

Havana2014 · June 2013

No of course the photos are not just a cultural thing, but maybe thinking that leaving your guests for the duration of taking them is rude, is.

To clarify I'm not taking about a gap of a couple of hours between ceremony and reception where nothing is provided and people have to fend for themselves. There is usually 3 or so hours between ceremony and dinner. Drinks, food and often entertainment, are provided (and the B&G return after anout an hour or so). I struggle to understand why this would be considered rude? But then I guess I have to look at it in the context of much shorter wedding celebrations.

southernbelle0915 · June 2013

I said it once and I'll say it again. I would want to melon ball my eyes out and slide down a spikey fireman's pole into a pool of rubbing alcohol if I were in the WP and dragged along to take pictures for more than two hours. Seriously. I have also never heard of a guest who went right to cocktail hour from a ceremony and complained that there wasn't a gap to "decompress" or "relax". Nobody. Ever.

Like some people are advocates for "save the whales" or whatever, I need a t-shirt that says "save the guests" or "spare the WP" or "just say no to gaps"

ETA: I cannot spell.

TKzilla · June 2013

NYUgirl100 said:

Its not the same thing, but it is very common where I live that bar/bat mitzvahs will have the religious ceremony in the morning and an evening celebration. It is accepted that non-local people do not always come to ceremony.

You're right, it's not the same thing.

LavenderHoneyBee said:

I'm not saying anyone HAS done those things, I was making a point that it is impossible to please every wedding guest bc we would be going crazy. In my culture it's the norm to have catholic ceremonies, with a gap. The elderly guests in my circle like them bc they can rest, relax, etc. My friends enjoy them because they have time decompress. But - I understand it isn't the norm everywhere. Just like @Havana2014 pointed out, different cultures have different norms.

Okay, but your "circle" is not a "culture".

KDM323 · June 2013

Havana2014 said:

No of course the photos are not just a cultural thing, but maybe thinking that leaving your guests for the duration of taking them is rude, is. To clarify I'm not taking about a gap of a couple of hours between ceremony and reception where nothing is provided and people have to fend for themselves. There is usually 3 or so hours between ceremony and dinner. Drinks, food and often entertainment, are provided (and the B&G return after anout an hour or so). I struggle to understand why this would be considered rude? But then I guess I have to look at it in the context of much shorter wedding celebrations.

If you are providing food, drink and entertainment - then it isn't a "gap". It would be an extended cocktail hour and considered part of the overall reception following the ceremony.

Gap = not entertaining the guests. (At least in how I understand it).

Example: Wedding ceremony at 2pm - 3pm.

Reception (Cocktail hour, etc) starts at 5pm.

So from 3pm until 5 pm guests are left to fend for themselves...no food, no drink, no place to 'go' where they are being hosted by the bride & groom.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2013

Havana2014 said:

No of course the photos are not just a cultural thing, but maybe thinking that leaving your guests for the duration of taking them is rude, is. To clarify I'm not taking about a gap of a couple of hours between ceremony and reception where nothing is provided and people have to fend for themselves. There is usually 3 or so hours between ceremony and dinner. Drinks, food and often entertainment, are provided (and the B&G return after anout an hour or so). I struggle to understand why this would be considered rude? But then I guess I have to look at it in the context of much shorter wedding celebrations.

What are they doing for this hour? Taking pictures? OK, well that is the point of having a cocktail hour.

And if the B&G are back within an hour, then why the heck is there still a wait until the reception and dinner actually begins?

I'm not trying to be an ass, I just really don't understand the point to a 2+ hour "cocktail hour", especially when the guests of honor are already on site.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2013

drexelkathy said:

Havana2014 said:

No of course the photos are not just a cultural thing, but maybe thinking that leaving your guests for the duration of taking them is rude, is. To clarify I'm not taking about a gap of a couple of hours between ceremony and reception where nothing is provided and people have to fend for themselves. There is usually 3 or so hours between ceremony and dinner. Drinks, food and often entertainment, are provided (and the B&G return after anout an hour or so). I struggle to understand why this would be considered rude? But then I guess I have to look at it in the context of much shorter wedding celebrations.

If you are providing food, drink and entertainment - then it isn't a "gap". It would be an extended cocktail hour and considered part of the overall reception following the ceremony.

Gap = not entertaining the guests. (At least in how I understand it).

Example: Wedding ceremony at 2pm - 3pm.

Reception (Cocktail hour, etc) starts at 5pm.

So from 3pm until 5 pm guests are left to fend for themselves...no food, no drink, no place to 'go' where they are being hosted by the bride & groom.

I agree. . . I just don't get it, lol.

Peledreamsofrain · June 2013

All I gotta say is the girls with the big foodless and drinkless gaps in Four Weddings always lose. Always. If reality tv thinks you are rude, you are in serious trouble.

jarednmegan · June 2013

We will have no gap.

Havana2014 · June 2013

PrettyGirlLost said:

Havana2014 said:

No of course the photos are not just a cultural thing, but maybe thinking that leaving your guests for the duration of taking them is rude, is.

To clarify I'm not taking about a gap of a couple of hours between ceremony and reception where nothing is provided and people have to fend for themselves. There is usually 3 or so hours between ceremony and dinner. Drinks, food and often entertainment, are provided (and the B&G return after anout an hour or so). I struggle to understand why this would be considered rude? But then I guess I have to look at it in the context of much shorter wedding celebrations.

What are they doing for this hour? Taking pictures? OK, well that is the point of having a cocktail hour.

And if the B&G are back within an hour, then why the heck is there still a wait until the reception and dinner actually begins?

I'm not trying to be an ass, I just really don't understand the point to a 2+ hour "cocktail hour", especially when the guests of honor are already on site.

The point I'm trying to make is that weddings here are completely different. The term cocktail hour isn't even used. The reception starts immediately after the ceremony but dinner is not right away. During the time the B&G mingle with the guests, people chat, eat, drink and be merry :-)

PrettyGirlLost · June 2013

Havana2014 said:

Havana2014 said:

No of course the photos are not just a cultural thing, but maybe thinking that leaving your guests for the duration of taking them is rude, is. To clarify I'm not taking about a gap of a couple of hours between ceremony and reception where nothing is provided and people have to fend for themselves. There is usually 3 or so hours between ceremony and dinner. Drinks, food and often entertainment, are provided (and the B&G return after anout an hour or so). I struggle to understand why this would be considered rude? But then I guess I have to look at it in the context of much shorter wedding celebrations.

What are they doing for this hour? Taking pictures? OK, well that is the point of having a cocktail hour.

And if the B&G are back within an hour, then why the heck is there still a wait until the reception and dinner actually begins?

I'm not trying to be an ass, I just really don't understand the point to a 2+ hour "cocktail hour", especially when the guests of honor are already on site.
The point I'm trying to make is that weddings here are completely different. The term cocktail hour isn't even used. The reception starts immediately after the ceremony but dinner is not right away. During the time the B&G mingle with the guests, people chat, eat, drink and be merry :-)

OK, that sounds like fun and just fine. There are no gaps then, so all is well, lol.

Belle2188 · June 2013

What about cases where a gap might be more convenient for the guests? I 100% understand why a gap is usually considered rude, and my first priority is making my guests comfortable, but in my case, I'm starting to think that many of my guests might prefer a gap.

We'll be getting married on Long Island--we haven't decided on a date or a venue yet, but I'm almost positive that I know which church and reception venue we'll choose--the reception venue has a hotel right next door. We'll have three kinds of guests: guests that will fly in and stay in the hotel, guests that will drive a few hours and stay in the hotel, and guests that live within about 10 minutes of the venue. What I expect is that many of the guests that fly in will stay in NYC until the day of the wedding, and that the guests that drive in and stay overnight won't come until the day of as well.

Based on the location of the church, city, and airport, the church is on the way to the reception hall. My guess is that guests would prefer to head straight to the church, and appreciate having some time to check into the hotel and get settled before heading to the reception. I know I've appreciated a small gap in similar situations myself. Those that live locally would easily be able to head back home if they wanted, and those already at the hotel could head back to their rooms for an hour.

I'm genuinely curious and not trying to make waves! I figure I should probably figure this out prior to booking anything!

belle2015 · June 2013

Belle2188 said:

What about cases where a gap might be more convenient for the guests? I 100% understand why a gap is usually considered rude, and my first priority is making my guests comfortable, but in my case, I'm starting to think that many of my guests might prefer a gap.

We'll be getting married on Long Island--we haven't decided on a date or a venue yet, but I'm almost positive that I know which church and reception venue we'll choose--the reception venue has a hotel right next door. We'll have three kinds of guests: guests that will fly in and stay in the hotel, guests that will drive a few hours and stay in the hotel, and guests that live within about 10 minutes of the venue. What I expect is that many of the guests that fly in will stay in NYC until the day of the wedding, and that the guests that drive in and stay overnight won't come until the day of as well.

Based on the location of the church, city, and airport, the church is on the way to the reception hall. My guess is that guests would prefer to head straight to the church, and appreciate having some time to check into the hotel and get settled before heading to the reception. I know I've appreciated a small gap in similar situations myself. Those that live locally would easily be able to head back home if they wanted, and those already at the hotel could head back to their rooms for an hour.

I'm genuinely curious and not trying to make waves! I figure I should probably figure this out prior to booking anything!

I'm also curious about this. Most of the weddings I go to have 1-2 hour gaps. The ceremony starts too early for me to check into the hotel before it starts. Usually I'll drop my bags off with the bellhop, go to the ceremony, then use the gap to check in and get settled. If there wasn't a gap, I'd either miss out on part of the cocktail hour to get checked in or have to wait until after the wedding was over to check in. I'd probably opt for missing part of the cocktail hour since I'd be nervous about losing my room or having to check in super super late if I ended up at an after party but I'd be sad that I had to miss part of the cocktail hour. And most of the other guests at the wedding would be in the same boat, except for those who stayed the night before. But they were probably there for the RD b/c they are in the WP and thus missing the cocktail hour anyways.

belle2015 · June 2013

fyrefly76 said:

If the ceremony is too early for you to check in at your hotel, then the wedding is too early. You should be able to check in at 11am (or 3pm), go to a 4 or 5pm wedding with a reception immediately following. No gap. You're checked in and ready to sleep when it's time. If the wedding is at 11am or noon, which might be too early to check in at a hotel beforehand, and the reception (without a gap) is at 1pm, and you're worried about missing a cocktail hour or after party... I don't know, that just sounds like a super long day.

Normal hotel check in time is 3pm. Ceremony usually starts at 2 or 3. Ends between 3:15 and 4:30, depending on the length of the homily. So if a reception started say around 4 (on the early end), the reception wouldn't end until around 9 (again on the early end). I wouldn't want to risk waiting till 9 to check in, and that's assuming everything is on the early end and no one heads to a bar after.

belle2015 · June 2013

To clarify, nearly all the weddings I attend are Catholic weddings. The only option for many churches to do a Saturday wedding is 2 or 3.

belle2015 · June 2013

Of course early check in is theoretically possible, but it's not guaranteed. Also, if there are 50-100 rooms booked for the wedding, it's highly unlikely the hotel will have all of them ready hours early. Check in time is usually 3 pm to give the hotel time to clean the room after check out (usually 11). And I hear what you're saying about checking in late, but it just makes me nervous. I guess what I'm saying is when it comes to a wedding I don't want to be worrying about uncertainties. I like having a gap to take care of the hotel check in and to freshen up a bit. Of course, a gap more than an hour or two is not something I'd appreciate.

Again, just offering my own personal perspective as a wedding guest here. Not currently planning a wedding, stumbled across this site after being asked to be in a friends wedding. The only gapless weddings I've ever attended were Friday evening weddings and those come with their own difficulties, like more time off work. I had no idea gaps were considered rude before this. But like I mentioned, for the weddings I have attended, not having a gap for a Saturday wedding would be more of an inconvenience.

KDM323 · June 2013

Belle2188 said:

What about cases where a gap might be more convenient for the guests? I 100% understand why a gap is usually considered rude, and my first priority is making my guests comfortable, but in my case, I'm starting to think that many of my guests might prefer a gap.

We'll be getting married on Long Island--we haven't decided on a date or a venue yet, but I'm almost positive that I know which church and reception venue we'll choose--the reception venue has a hotel right next door. We'll have three kinds of guests: guests that will fly in and stay in the hotel, guests that will drive a few hours and stay in the hotel, and guests that live within about 10 minutes of the venue. What I expect is that many of the guests that fly in will stay in NYC until the day of the wedding, and that the guests that drive in and stay overnight won't come until the day of as well.

Based on the location of the church, city, and airport, the church is on the way to the reception hall. My guess is that guests would prefer to head straight to the church, and appreciate having some time to check into the hotel and get settled before heading to the reception. I know I've appreciated a small gap in similar situations myself. Those that live locally would easily be able to head back home if they wanted, and those already at the hotel could head back to their rooms for an hour.

I'm genuinely curious and not trying to make waves! I figure I should probably figure this out prior to booking anything!

I would want to travel, check in at my hotel....shower, change, etc...and then head to the ceremony and reception. Not travel, head immediately to a ceremony (especially after traveling to LI potentially thru NY traffic) and THEN check in, relax a minute, shower, etc.

Dreamergirl8812 · June 2013

The only acceptable gap is the one between your legs.

belle2015 · June 2013

drexelkathy said:

Belle2188 said:

What about cases where a gap might be more convenient for the guests? I 100% understand why a gap is usually considered rude, and my first priority is making my guests comfortable, but in my case, I'm starting to think that many of my guests might prefer a gap.

We'll be getting married on Long Island--we haven't decided on a date or a venue yet, but I'm almost positive that I know which church and reception venue we'll choose--the reception venue has a hotel right next door. We'll have three kinds of guests: guests that will fly in and stay in the hotel, guests that will drive a few hours and stay in the hotel, and guests that live within about 10 minutes of the venue. What I expect is that many of the guests that fly in will stay in NYC until the day of the wedding, and that the guests that drive in and stay overnight won't come until the day of as well.

Based on the location of the church, city, and airport, the church is on the way to the reception hall. My guess is that guests would prefer to head straight to the church, and appreciate having some time to check into the hotel and get settled before heading to the reception. I know I've appreciated a small gap in similar situations myself. Those that live locally would easily be able to head back home if they wanted, and those already at the hotel could head back to their rooms for an hour.

I'm genuinely curious and not trying to make waves! I figure I should probably figure this out prior to booking anything!

I would want to travel, check in at my hotel....shower, change, etc...and then head to the ceremony and reception. Not travel, head immediately to a ceremony (especially after traveling to LI potentially thru NY traffic) and THEN check in, relax a minute, shower, etc.

I would prefer that, too. Unfortunately with a 2 or 3 pm ceremony, it's not possible. So given the choice between gap and no gap with a 2 or 3 pm ceremony, I'd rather have the gap.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2013

belle2015 said:

To clarify, nearly all the weddings I attend are Catholic weddings. The only option for many churches to do a Saturday wedding is 2 or 3.

Yes, in which case you schedule the reception immediately to follow. . . so at 3pm or 4pm, give or take travel time for guests from ceremony to reception.

Catholic weddings have gaps bc the B&G choose to have an evening reception. It has nothing to do with the mass.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2013

belle2015 said:

drexelkathy said:

Belle2188 said:

What about cases where a gap might be more convenient for the guests? I 100% understand why a gap is usually considered rude, and my first priority is making my guests comfortable, but in my case, I'm starting to think that many of my guests might prefer a gap.

We'll be getting married on Long Island--we haven't decided on a date or a venue yet, but I'm almost positive that I know which church and reception venue we'll choose--the reception venue has a hotel right next door. We'll have three kinds of guests: guests that will fly in and stay in the hotel, guests that will drive a few hours and stay in the hotel, and guests that live within about 10 minutes of the venue. What I expect is that many of the guests that fly in will stay in NYC until the day of the wedding, and that the guests that drive in and stay overnight won't come until the day of as well.

Based on the location of the church, city, and airport, the church is on the way to the reception hall. My guess is that guests would prefer to head straight to the church, and appreciate having some time to check into the hotel and get settled before heading to the reception. I know I've appreciated a small gap in similar situations myself. Those that live locally would easily be able to head back home if they wanted, and those already at the hotel could head back to their rooms for an hour.

I'm genuinely curious and not trying to make waves! I figure I should probably figure this out prior to booking anything!

I would want to travel, check in at my hotel....shower, change, etc...and then head to the ceremony and reception. Not travel, head immediately to a ceremony (especially after traveling to LI potentially thru NY traffic) and THEN check in, relax a minute, shower, etc.

I would prefer that, too. Unfortunately with a 2 or 3 pm ceremony, it's not possible. So given the choice between gap and no gap with a 2 or 3 pm ceremony, I'd rather have the gap.

Sure it is. . . I would make reservations and check in to the hotel the night before.

Or, ask for an earlier check in time. I just did that 2 weeks ago for a 3pm wedding. . . was able to check in at 1pm and shower change and be at ceremony at 3pm. We wanted to check in at 12pm but we got a bit lost and were late, lol.

[Deleted User] · June 2013

Dreamergirl8812 said:

The only acceptable gap is the one between your legs.

my wedding and my legs have something in common! no gap.

belle2015 · June 2013

PrettyGirlLost said:

belle2015 said:

drexelkathy said:

Belle2188 said:

What about cases where a gap might be more convenient for the guests? I 100% understand why a gap is usually considered rude, and my first priority is making my guests comfortable, but in my case, I'm starting to think that many of my guests might prefer a gap.

We'll be getting married on Long Island--we haven't decided on a date or a venue yet, but I'm almost positive that I know which church and reception venue we'll choose--the reception venue has a hotel right next door. We'll have three kinds of guests: guests that will fly in and stay in the hotel, guests that will drive a few hours and stay in the hotel, and guests that live within about 10 minutes of the venue. What I expect is that many of the guests that fly in will stay in NYC until the day of the wedding, and that the guests that drive in and stay overnight won't come until the day of as well.

Based on the location of the church, city, and airport, the church is on the way to the reception hall. My guess is that guests would prefer to head straight to the church, and appreciate having some time to check into the hotel and get settled before heading to the reception. I know I've appreciated a small gap in similar situations myself. Those that live locally would easily be able to head back home if they wanted, and those already at the hotel could head back to their rooms for an hour.

I'm genuinely curious and not trying to make waves! I figure I should probably figure this out prior to booking anything!

I would want to travel, check in at my hotel....shower, change, etc...and then head to the ceremony and reception. Not travel, head immediately to a ceremony (especially after traveling to LI potentially thru NY traffic) and THEN check in, relax a minute, shower, etc.

I would prefer that, too. Unfortunately with a 2 or 3 pm ceremony, it's not possible. So given the choice between gap and no gap with a 2 or 3 pm ceremony, I'd rather have the gap.

Sure it is. . . I would make reservations and check in to the hotel the night before.

Or, ask for an earlier check in time. I just did that 2 weeks ago for a 3pm wedding. . . was able to check in at 1pm and shower change and be at ceremony at 3pm. We wanted to check in at 12pm but we got a bit lost and were late, lol.

I understand how hotels work, thanks. Aside from staying at them often, my sister happens to work for a major hotel chain. Based on my own experience and "industry knowledge" I know that while you can request an early check in, it's not always a request the hotel can grant. Hotels don't arbitrarily make up check in and check out times for fun. They set up these times to give them sufficient time to clean the room, change sheets, stock the bathroom, etc. That takes some time. As I said in a previous post, the likelihood of getting an early check in for ALL the hotel rooms for a block at a wedding is basically zero. So that means that at least some guests won't be able to check into a hotel before the ceremony.

And to suggest that guests should check into a hotel the night before to avoid having to check in during the cocktail hour, when the B&G know that that is what most of their guests would have to do seems totally counter intuitive to the whole idea of etiquette-making your guests comfortable. "Hey guests, please pay for an extra night in the hotel so we can avoid having a rude gap."

KDM323 · June 2013

Wedding at 2pm or 3pm in a Catholic Church? Reception should start 1 hour + travel time to the reception location after that. If the reception starts at 3-4pm, it will last between 4-5 hours and folks can still check into their hotels after at a reasonable hour. I guess I am not understanding?

PrettyGirlLost · June 2013

belle2015 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Sure it is. . . I would make reservations and check in to the hotel the night before.

Or, ask for an earlier check in time. I just did that 2 weeks ago for a 3pm wedding. . . was able to check in at 1pm and shower change and be at ceremony at 3pm. We wanted to check in at 12pm but we got a bit lost and were late, lol.

I understand how hotels work, thanks. Aside from staying at them often, my sister happens to work for a major hotel chain. Based on my own experience and "industry knowledge" I know that while you can request an early check in, it's not always a request the hotel can grant. Hotels don't arbitrarily make up check in and check out times for fun. They set up these times to give them sufficient time to clean the room, change sheets, stock the bathroom, etc. That takes some time. As I said in a previous post, the likelihood of getting an early check in for ALL the hotel rooms for a block at a wedding is basically zero. So that means that at least some guests won't be able to check into a hotel before the ceremony.

And to suggest that guests should check into a hotel the night before to avoid having to check in during the cocktail hour, when the B&G know that that is what most of their guests would have to do seems totally counter intuitive to the whole idea of etiquette-making your guests comfortable. "Hey guests, please pay for an extra night in the hotel so we can avoid having a rude gap."

I also understand how hotels work, no industry knowledge necessary.

Now, I didn't suggest that you ask your guests to check in the night before. I said that I would do so; I guess I should have added "if I was a guest" to my previous post, that's my bad.

If I thought I would not be able to get an earlier check in, I would personally check in the night before, and I would much rather do that than have to deal with a several hour gap. It's awkward and makes for a really long day, especially if you are an OOT guest. I don't know about others, but I find it annoying to go back to the hotel to kill time before a reception, or to sit around at a bar or restaurant while watching the clock.

belle2015 · June 2013

drexelkathy said:

Wedding at 2pm or 3pm in a Catholic Church? Reception should start 1 hour + travel time to the reception location after that. If the reception starts at 3-4pm, it will last between 4-5 hours and folks can still check into their hotels after at a reasonable hour. I guess I am not understanding?

I guess we disagree on what a reasonable hour to check into a hotel is. The last thing I want to do after an evening of eating, drinking and dancing is stand on line to check in at 9-9:30. If there's something wrong with the room, I don't want to have to deal with it that late. Also that late, there's usually not much the hotel can do to fix it. Additionally, if people are continuing the party right after, I would end up waiting even longer to check in.

I guess I just don't get what is SO terrible about a one hour break before the reception starts if the vast majority of the guests will use that time to check into the hotel.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2013

belle2015 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Sure it is. . . I would make reservations and check in to the hotel the night before.

Or, ask for an earlier check in time. I just did that 2 weeks ago for a 3pm wedding. . . was able to check in at 1pm and shower change and be at ceremony at 3pm. We wanted to check in at 12pm but we got a bit lost and were late, lol.

I understand how hotels work, thanks. Aside from staying at them often, my sister happens to work for a major hotel chain. Based on my own experience and "industry knowledge" I know that while you can request an early check in, it's not always a request the hotel can grant. Hotels don't arbitrarily make up check in and check out times for fun. They set up these times to give them sufficient time to clean the room, change sheets, stock the bathroom, etc. That takes some time. As I said in a previous post, the likelihood of getting an early check in for ALL the hotel rooms for a block at a wedding is basically zero. So that means that at least some guests won't be able to check into a hotel before the ceremony.

And to suggest that guests should check into a hotel the night before to avoid having to check in during the cocktail hour, when the B&G know that that is what most of their guests would have to do seems totally counter intuitive to the whole idea of etiquette-making your guests comfortable. "Hey guests, please pay for an extra night in the hotel so we can avoid having a rude gap."

I am well aware of the rationale behind hotel check in times, no industry knowledge necessary.

I did not say that you should ask or expect your guests to check into the hotel the night before, I said that I would do so. . . I should have added "if I was a guest," sorry!

I would much rather travel and check in the night before, especially as an OOT guest, than have to drive back to the hotel to kill time before the reception during a several hour gap. To me it's just awkward and annoying, and even more so if I'm an in town guest.

ETA: "I guess I just don't get what is SO terrible about a one hour break before the reception starts if the vast majority of the guests will use that time to check into the hotel."

I'm not trying to give you push back for the sake of being nasty, just for the sake of discussion, from my experience I don't think a majority of the guests would use the gap to check in.

belle2015 · June 2013

I did not say that you should ask or expect your guests to check into the hotel the night before, I said that I would do so. . . I should have added "if I was a guest," sorry.

I would much rather travel and check in the night before, especially as an OOT guest, than have to drive back to the hotel to kill time before the reception during a several hour gap. To me it's just awkward and annoying, and even more so if I'm an in town guest.

I understand that's your preference, I'm just saying that it isn't the universal case.

And I totally agree, several hour gaps are/would be horrible. I am only defending the hour or so gap. And only in cases where the majority of guests are staying in the same hotel and only for one night. That just happens to describe most of the weddings I go to.

All I'm saying is that if a B&G happens to know that a large majority of their guests are going to stay in the hotel for only that night, a one hour gap certainly isn't the worst thing in the world. In fact, some guests actually appreciate having the time to check in and settle into their room.

belle2015 · June 2013

ETA: "I guess I just don't get what is SO terrible about a one hour break before the reception starts if the vast majority of the guests will use that time to check into the hotel."

I'm not trying to give you push back for the sake of being nasty, just for the sake of discussion, from my experience I don't think a majority of the guests would use the gap to check in.

I'm not trying to push back to be nasty, either. I'm speaking honestly from my own experience. The hotel check-in is swarming with wedding guests during every gap I've ever witnessed. Seriously, check-in can take almost a half hour because basically everyone from the wedding is checking in at the same time. Like I said I've never been to a Saturday wedding without a gap. I always thought that's what you did if you had a church that didn't do late afternoon weddings. And as a guest I thought you used that time to check in. Because that's what everyone does at the weddings I've attended.

Peledreamsofrain · June 2013

Post removed due to GBCK

belle2015 · June 2013

Peledreamsofrain said:

I'm sorry, but I'm really REALLY not buying this whole "I go straight from the plane to the wedding" thing. Nobody feels awesome and put together after travelling. Here's the list of things that the majority of humanity likes to do after getting off the plane:

1.) shower, like immediately
2.) Get over being groped/looked at naked by random strangers
3.) Get the fuck away from humanity for 2 freakin minutes.
4.) Get reaquainted with the fact that your limbs actually move
5.) Get out of clothes that let your body swell twice it's size

If guests are so excessively poor at planning that they can't get themselves checked into a hotel and to the wedding on time, that is NOT my problem. I am NOT making the rest of the guests suffer rudeness to cater to some knucklehead who can't get their shit together and get checked into a hotel on time.

I should have clarified. I wasn't the one who said I'd go straight from a plane to a ceremony. I'm saying if guests are driving/training an hour or two to your wedding. Or are local but want to stay at the wedding hotel so they don't have to worry about driving after partying. And when I do fly to a wedding it's not uncommon for me to get there the night before but stay with friends or a different hotel, especially if the wedding isn't in a particularly "happening" part of town. For example, the original poster who brought up this idea said she was getting married in Long Island. If I was going to a wedding in Long Island, I would probably want to spend the night before in New York City and then take the LIRR out the day of the wedding. I would imagine most people flying in from OOT for a wedding in the New York area would probably rather spend the "extra" night in the city rather than LI.

Acceptable Gap?

Re: Acceptable Gap?

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