Pssh if you love it an want it, just keep it. It doesn't hurt anyone!
Have you gotten quotes from venues/caterers yet? Some bar packages made me feel ill and some were surprisingly quite reasonable if you didn't feel the need to have top-shelf liquor.
We've narrowed it down to 2 and from what they have online it will be pretty close. We have meetings in the next couple of weeks so that might help flesh out a little more of the pricing and make it less intimidating!
If you don't think your crowd will be heavy drinkers, you could look into doing consumption packages. Sometimes that option can come out a little cheaper. Doesn't hurt to ask if they offer the option.
I've been to weddings where the table wine was not replenished. In fact, the one I was at Saturday had a full open bar but it closed during dinner. During dinner there was a carafe of red wine on the table; we never saw a server come to replenish it.
Luckily I asked the bartender if it would be closed for dinner (since it's fairly common in my experience) and I got H and I each an extra drink before they closed. They also were at least on top of refilling the water pitcher.
I've been to weddings where the table wine was not replenished. In fact, the one I was at Saturday had a full open bar but it closed during dinner. During dinner there was a carafe of red wine on the table; we never saw a server come to replenish it.
Luckily I asked the bartender if it would be closed for dinner (since it's fairly common in my experience) and I got H and I each an extra drink before they closed. They also were at least on top of refilling the water pitcher.
I went to a wedding that only had one bottle of red and white on the table and was not replenished either. Also, they had open bar for cocktail hour (which became a cash bar once cocktail hour was over), and to top it all off, they could not fit everyone into the room where the wedding was, so they put a bunch of tables outide. It was freezing out and the people outside couln't see anything that was going on inside. It was crazy
I went to a wedding where it was open bar for a short amount of time, then switched to a cash bar, that was super annoying. Not that I wanted to get wasted, but that all of a sudden it was over and no one anticipated it and we didn't bring any cash that night. Party still went on but it was definitely over shortly after the cash bar was announced.
My experiences with open bar during cocktail hour and cash bar later is that everyone gets tanked before dinner trying to get in as many free drinks as possible and is either stupid after dinner or home passed out
I think there is nothing wrong with a cash bar for one thing not everyone drinks. I think the way you and your fiance' have chosen is a great idea. Also I think it may be a worse idea to only host bear and wine for the entire night as so many have suggested because there are a lot of people that drink but prefer cocktails to these options. This way you give your guest the option. Besides we all have a few of those guests we would rather ban from the bar anyway. I think if you have the money to do it than, that's perfectly fine, however I will be following your lead. Good luck and Happy Wedding
I think there is nothing wrong with a cash bar for one thing not everyone drinks. I think the way you and your fiance' have chosen is a great idea. Also I think it may be a worse idea to only host bear and wine for the entire night as so many have suggested because there are a lot of people that drink but prefer cocktails to these options. This way you give your guest the option. Besides we all have a few of those guests we would rather ban from the bar anyway. I think if you have the money to do it than, that's perfectly fine, however I will be following your lead. Good luck and Happy Wedding
Just because someone has an open bar it doesn't mean drinks are forced down your throat. The only worse idea here is so have a cash bar or only offer an open bar for part of the night. Trust me, I thought that was a great idea too until I learned better on here. Someone the other day used Lobster as ane xample- say I absolutely LOVED lobster. Should you allow guests to pay to upgrade to lobster instead of chicken or beef? No. Will some of your guests prefer cocktails? Yup. Doesn't mean you have to serve them. You host what you can afford, and you do it all night. Beer and wine only is far from rude. If people don't like either of those options (I don't) then they can have a soda. People won't die from 1 night without a cocktail.
May I suggest lurking before offering wrong opinions?
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
I think there is nothing wrong with a cash bar for one thing not everyone drinks. I think the way you and your fiance' have chosen is a great idea. Also I think it may be a worse idea to only host bear and wine for the entire night as so many have suggested because there are a lot of people that drink but prefer cocktails to these options. This way you give your guest the option. Besides we all have a few of those guests we would rather ban from the bar anyway. I think if you have the money to do it than, that's perfectly fine, however I will be following your lead. Good luck and Happy Wedding
If you have guests you would prefer not drink at your wedding or are worried that an open bar is a waste of money because you have guests that don't drink then you can always have a dry wedding.
Having alcohol at your wedding is a choice. But if you make the choice to have it, you need to pay for it. The same way that you pay for any other choice. You wouldn't charge guests who wanted a slice of cake, to sit in a chair with a pretty cover versus one without a cover, or take a picture in a photobooth. None of those are necessary at a wedding (just like alcohol), but if you want to have them then you need to fund them. Don't push the cost of your wedding choices onto your guests.
Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
I think there is nothing wrong with a cash bar for one thing not everyone drinks. I think the way you and your fiance' have chosen is a great idea. Also I think it may be a worse idea to only host bear and wine for the entire night as so many have suggested because there are a lot of people that drink but prefer cocktails to these options. This way you give your guest the option. Besides we all have a few of those guests we would rather ban from the bar anyway. I think if you have the money to do it than, that's perfectly fine, however I will be following your lead. Good luck and Happy Wedding
I get that the idea behind a cash bar is to accommodate people who want to drink when you can't afford to offer alcohol. I totally understand that reasoning.
HOWEVER - Here's why a cash bar is considered bad etiquette and rude:
-The Reception: the reception is to "receive" your guests and thank them for attending your wedding ceremony. The expectation is that they are properly hosted.
-Proper Hosting: a chair for every butt; a meal if it's meal time; drinks (could be just water and soda); a space out of the elements; and your guests never needing to open their wallet for anything.
So... If you can't afford to offer to a full bar, you either limit the bar (just beer and wine, etc.) or you have a dry wedding. The minute you start charging guests for drinks, you go into improper hosting territory. You wouldn't have people over to your house for dinner and charge them for wine would you? Don't do it at your wedding. Either offer it and pay for it, or don't offer it.
May I suggest lurking before offering wrong opinions?
Just out of pure curiosity - how exactly can an opinion be wrong?
An opinion is nothing more than one persons perspective on an event/idea/emotion.... to say someone's opinion is "wrong" is asinine... an equivalent example would be me saying "In my opinion Doberman Pincher's are the best dogs ever" and you saying "Your wrong, German Shepherds are the best" - Both could be valid to a number of people, and invalid to another number.
May I suggest lurking before offering wrong opinions?
Just out of pure curiosity - how exactly can an opinion be wrong?
An opinion is nothing more than one persons perspective on an event/idea/emotion.... to say someone's opinion is "wrong" is asinine... an equivalent example would be me saying "In my opinion Doberman Pincher's are the best dogs ever" and you saying "Your wrong, German Shepherds are the best" - Both could be valid to a number of people, and invalid to another number.
While that is true of many things, this is an etiquette board. And while someone's opinion about which dog is best is subject to different viewpoints, the rules of etiquette really are not. That's all that @acove2006 meant.
Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
While that is true of many things, this is an etiquette board. And while someone's opinion about which dog is best is subject to different viewpoints, the rules of etiquette really are not. That's all that @acove2006 meant.
I understand what you are saying, however rules are one thing, opinions are very different... if someone has an opinion you merely say your opinion does not go along with the rules of "whatever" - not that your opinion is wrong. Dictionary.com sites opinion as: abelieforjudgmentthatrestsongroundsinsufficienttoproducecompletecertainty. or: apersonalview,attitude,orappraisal.I just wanted to point out that the only thing that something that is not based on facts cannot be wrong... you can attempt to change a persons beliefs or opinions, but if you cannot persuade them to see something differently does not make you right and them wrong.
@bangbangs39 . So, she chose the wrong word. Let's not make a federal case out of it. Let's move on and not nit pick an irrelevant word. She just meant her interpretation of sound etiquette was incorrect. Jeesh.
Maybe advice or thoughts would have been better words. What I meant- In this case her opinion was that cash bars aren't rude. Etiquette says that cash bars are rude. This is an etiquette board. So her opinion in this scenario is wrong in regards to proper etiquette. Saying "I like cash bars" would have been better. She's allowed to like cash bars all she wants. But they're still rude regardless and offering one would make her an improper host.
May I suggest lurking before offering wrong opinions?
Just out of pure curiosity - how exactly can an opinion be wrong?
An opinion is nothing more than one persons perspective on an event/idea/emotion.... to say someone's opinion is "wrong" is asinine... an equivalent example would be me saying "In my opinion Doberman Pincher's are the best dogs ever" and you saying "Your wrong, German Shepherds are the best" - Both could be valid to a number of people, and invalid to another number.
This is not true if you are a Muppet Overlord. For example, if a Muppet Overlord says that the best dog ever is a Cocker Spaniel Mix is the best dog breed ever, it just is.
Muppet Overlord indeed has that opinion, btw. Cocker Mutts FTW.
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you
marry a Muppet Overlord.
What are you guys talking about? I'm just giving my two cents. Do you always attack everyone who joins this website?
For the original poster, there was a poll taken in 2010 by CNN that involved over 30,000 responses. I've listed the responses below:
"
Are you irked if there isn't an open bar at a wedding reception?
Beer and wine are fine, so long as they keep flowing freely. 38%
A full, open bar is a must, but I understand if that's too pricey. Cash bar is fine. 23%
I get annoyed if there isn't a full, open bar. No excuse for that. 15%
Dry weddings are just fine with me. 8%
I don't mind paying for beer and wine. 8%
No booze, no me. 5%
A dry wedding is a pain, but I'll deal. 3%
What are you guys talking about? I'm just giving my two cents. Do you always attack everyone who joins this website?
For the original poster, there was a poll taken in 2010 by CNN that involved over 30,000 responses. I've listed the responses below:
"
Are you irked if there isn't an open bar at a wedding reception?
Beer and wine are fine, so long as they keep flowing freely. 38%
A full, open bar is a must, but I understand if that's too pricey. Cash bar is fine. 23%
I get annoyed if there isn't a full, open bar. No excuse for that. 15%
Dry weddings are just fine with me. 8%
I don't mind paying for beer and wine. 8%
No booze, no me. 5%
A dry wedding is a pain, but I'll deal. 3%
Those results are pretty skewed anyway, as those are not mutually exclusive options. Open bar is great, limited bar is great, dry weddings are great. The only thing not okay is asking guests to pay for a part of your wedding.
What are you guys talking about? I'm just giving my two cents. Do you always attack everyone who joins this website?
For the original poster, there was a poll taken in 2010 by CNN that involved over 30,000 responses. I've listed the responses below:
"
Are you irked if there isn't an open bar at a wedding reception?
Beer and wine are fine, so long as they keep flowing freely. 38%
A full, open bar is a must, but I understand if that's too pricey. Cash bar is fine. 23%
I get annoyed if there isn't a full, open bar. No excuse for that. 15%
Dry weddings are just fine with me. 8%
I don't mind paying for beer and wine. 8%
No booze, no me. 5%
A dry wedding is a pain, but I'll deal. 3%
Those results are pretty skewed anyway, as those are not mutually exclusive options. Open bar is great, limited bar is great, dry weddings are great. The only thing not okay is asking guests to pay for a part of your wedding.
I'm with Bunni- several of those choices are fine. Dry = fine, Limited = fine, Open = fine, Cash = rude. I've been to all of those types of weddings but cash, and had a splendid time at all of them.
Re: Confused - Cash Bars are Rude?
Have you gotten quotes from venues/caterers yet? Some bar packages made me feel ill and some were surprisingly quite reasonable if you didn't feel the need to have top-shelf liquor.
We've narrowed it down to 2 and from what they have online it will be pretty close. We have meetings in the next couple of weeks so that might help flesh out a little more of the pricing and make it less intimidating!
Good luck!
I've been to weddings where the table wine was not replenished. In fact, the one I was at Saturday had a full open bar but it closed during dinner. During dinner there was a carafe of red wine on the table; we never saw a server come to replenish it.
Luckily I asked the bartender if it would be closed for dinner (since it's fairly common in my experience) and I got H and I each an extra drink before they closed. They also were at least on top of refilling the water pitcher.
Just because someone has an open bar it doesn't mean drinks are forced down your throat. The only worse idea here is so have a cash bar or only offer an open bar for part of the night. Trust me, I thought that was a great idea too until I learned better on here. Someone the other day used Lobster as ane xample- say I absolutely LOVED lobster. Should you allow guests to pay to upgrade to lobster instead of chicken or beef? No. Will some of your guests prefer cocktails? Yup. Doesn't mean you have to serve them. You host what you can afford, and you do it all night. Beer and wine only is far from rude. If people don't like either of those options (I don't) then they can have a soda. People won't die from 1 night without a cocktail.
May I suggest lurking before offering wrong opinions?
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
Just out of pure curiosity - how exactly can an opinion be wrong?
An opinion is nothing more than one persons perspective on an event/idea/emotion.... to say someone's opinion is "wrong" is asinine... an equivalent example would be me saying "In my opinion Doberman Pincher's are the best dogs ever" and you saying "Your wrong, German Shepherds are the best" - Both could be valid to a number of people, and invalid to another number.
Maybe advice or thoughts would have been better words. What I meant- In this case her opinion was that cash bars aren't rude. Etiquette says that cash bars are rude. This is an etiquette board. So her opinion in this scenario is wrong in regards to proper etiquette. Saying "I like cash bars" would have been better. She's allowed to like cash bars all she wants. But they're still rude regardless and offering one would make her an improper host.
@NYCBruin & @NYCMercedes thank you!
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
Muppet Overlord indeed has that opinion, btw. Cocker Mutts FTW.
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
I usually do.
For the original poster, there was a poll taken in 2010 by CNN that involved over 30,000 responses. I've listed the responses below:
"
Are you irked if there isn't an open bar at a wedding reception?
Beer and wine are fine, so long as they keep flowing freely. 38%
A full, open bar is a must, but I understand if that's too pricey. Cash bar is fine. 23%
I get annoyed if there isn't a full, open bar. No excuse for that. 15%
Dry weddings are just fine with me. 8%
I don't mind paying for beer and wine. 8%
No booze, no me. 5%
A dry wedding is a pain, but I'll deal. 3%
"
The link to the website is here: http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2010/08/03/cash-bars-and-the-wrath-of-sober-wedding-guests/
Hope your wedding is a success OP!