Wedding Etiquette Forum

Asking guest to rent a room.

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Re: Asking guest to rent a room.

  • This is ridiculous. Adults (should) know how to manage their time to make it on time. Sometimes, horrible accidents happen that bring traffic to a stand still. Unless you're getting married in the hotel ballroom, this could happen even if your "OOT" guests are staying in a near by hotel. Make a room block and let them know about it. It is extremely controlling to request for guest 30 minutes or more away to reserve a hotel room. 
  • You can remove yourself from my post at any point now. 
    LOL. You must be new. Your attitude won't go over well here. Same thing in real life. Don't tell your grown adult guests where to stay. You cannot dictate how they spend their own money and time, much the same way you cannot tell us how to post.
    All of this.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • I'm trying to figure out how you would possibly enforce this requirement.  Are you leaving a space on your RSVP card for the hotel confirmation number if they say they are coming?  Will someone at the door have a list of hotel guests from the night before to make sure they stayed at the hotel before they are allowed into the ceremony?  If someone is late, but has a hotel receipt, will they still be allowed in?  Just trying to figure out the logistics for this "wonderful" idea.
    harper0813
  • Ashly0788 said:
    Apparently you missed the part where I asked for no drama.

    Lucky for me I don't know any people who would behave the way you do.
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    You can't tell people how to respond to your questions, and doing so doesn't create "drama" but it DOES encourage extra snarkiness.

    To echo PPs, you can absolutely reserve a room block and let your guests know about it via word of mouth and your website, but you absolutely positively 100% can NOT request/mandate they book it.
    Liatris2010Dreamergirl8812
  • I should also point out that people who are consistently late aren't going to change their ways for your event, no matter how much you treat your guests like children.

    My own mother is a perfect example of this. I love her, but God, she is the absolute WORST when it comes to being on time for anything. She could spend the night before in the very room you're having the ceremony in and STILL somehow manage to be incredibly late for your wedding.

    That's her problem, it's on her to deal with any consequences that come from it (missing the ceremony, not getting to enjoy cocktail hour, etc). And the same goes for anyone else that's late, whether it's a regular occurrence or a one-time thing. The only thing you'll accomplish by getting bent out of shape over this incurring a lot of silent judgement from your guests for being crazy.

    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
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    harper0813PrettyGirlLostAprilH81
  • WW had a post where a woman wanted to know how she could let people know that she wasn't going to accept someone's RSVP until she had confirmation that they booked a hotel room. All the same thoughts are processing through my head right now.

    The fact that this idea processed your brain and didn't immediately exit is beyond me. You  committed the question to a message board and asked people not to be dramatic about their posts and told them to leave when you didn't like their responses.

    What answer are you looking for, exactly?  Serious question because the only responses I see provides excellent feedback.


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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • I am a punctual adult who takes responsibility for presenting myself to events either early or on time.

    If I was your guest and you tried to punish me for your past inability to be on time, I'd either laugh in your face and do what I originally intended to, or not show up and never speak to you again; depending on how horomonal I was feeling on that given day.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    harper0813PrettyGirlLost[Deleted User]
  • CMGr said:

    To assume that anyone might be late to your wedding is very rude.

    I don't quite find it rude to assume - but I do find it rude to act on that assumption. I'm assuming that my fiancé will be late coming home today because he's late every day with no forewarning. I don't think I'm rude for assuming - I just either get over it or I do what I can for myself to take his lateness into account, like take the dog to the dog park before making dinner.

    I'll even go so far as to say: Preparing to accommodate late guests would be courteous, I think. I'm not talking about asking them to book hotel rooms or sending Google calendar invites that notify then once an hour the week of the wedding - I'm talking about making the ceremony easy to find after it starts when there are no longer people walking toward the venue or congregated in the lobby, or leaving doors open so that people can slip in quietly. Maybe having the venue add a couple of extra chairs in the back so that people aren't wandering to the front rows which people tend to leave untouched.

  • cofkelcofkel member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited July 2013
    This whole thing blows my mind. I often choose to stay in hotels the night of a wedding- not the night before? So if I wanted to sleep over that night I would need to book two nights? That is redic. I went to a wedding in November, in NH, 6 hours away from my house and I drove there that morning and stayed the night. If I had to come the night before I would have had to take Friday off of work to do it (sat wedding). I also would have sat around all day before this wedding.  Let me tell you I would have declined.

    ETA: I also commute 45 minutes to work every day- through a city and I am still on time. Should I be booking a room?
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • This is asinine. You honestly expect someone who lives 35 min. away from your wedding to stay in a hotel the night before your wedding and cough up the dough for that also? You're nuts! Truly. I work 50 min. away from where I live and don't stay at a hotel every single night before work. And guess what--I've never been late to work!

    This is a horrible idea. I am so glad you asked on here before doing this. And also, you can't tell people how to post. The fact that you asked for "no drama" leads me to believe you KNEW this was a horrible idea and would get opinions different from yours, so why do you even want to entertain this idea?


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    PrettyGirlLost
  • So let me get this straight.....YOU were late for a wedding once so the solution is require guests to stay overnight? No. Not acceptable, hypocritical, and honestly laughable are the only words that come to mind. By the way, I'd NEVER stay the night BEFORE a wedding that's 2 hours away "to avoid being late." I'd perhaps stay the night AFTER the wedding if I had drinks at the reception or stay the night before if I was invited to the RD in the same area, but that's it.
    I was going to say something similar to this.  Even if OOTers do stay in a hotel, it probably won't solve your problem.  People might choose to stay in a hotel after the reception, so that they don't have to drive home if it's late, if they have been drinking, etc.  But I can't imagine many people wanting to stay in a hotel the night BEFORE the wedding.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Oh, good. Another poster who can't figure out how the flagging system works, despite the rules for it being posted at the top of every page. 

    @KnotPorscha could you please privately tutor this one, too? 






    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostwittykitty14
  • @AddieL73 Sending a message to the user. Thanks!
  • SKPMSKPM member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Add me to the list of PPs who commute to work longer than what has you worried about people being late to your wedding. You are being ridiculous, OP.

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    PrettyGirlLostcbrown828NerdyLucywittykitty14
  • Definitely do this.  I also recommend "requesting" that all of your guests send photos of the outfits they intend to wear to your wedding in with their RSVPs so you can make sure the grown adults know how to dress themselves.  That way, if you don't approve you can immediately call and "request" that they wear a different outfit.  
    PrettyGirlLostsaric83[Deleted User]Teddy917
  • You can do whatever you want for your wedding.
  • I live about 30 minutes from the hotel *I'm* getting married at, and *I'm* not sleeping there the night before. Am I still allowed to attend my wedding?

    OP, I can only hope that you were somehow thinking this would be a good thing to OFFER to your guests. If your hotel won't penalize you for blocking off too many rooms (some could require you to pay if they're not used), and you want to do that and suggest it, maybe by word of mouth or your wedding web site, okay, but that's it.
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    White Knot


    PrettyGirlLost
  • efmcc67 said:
    You can do whatever you want for your wedding.
    No, actually, you can't. This is a sadly common misconception, but acting ridiculous will, at best, make you a topic of dinner conversation for years to come. At worst, you alienate your friends and family.
    I think she was being sarcastic...at least I hope she was 
  • efmcc67 said:
    You can do whatever you want for your wedding.
    No, actually, you can't. This is a sadly common misconception, but acting ridiculous will, at best, make you a topic of dinner conversation for years to come. At worst, you alienate your friends and family.
    I think she was being sarcastic...at least I hope she was 
    I hope so! Sadly, with all of the people we see around here who say this in earnest, it didn't even occur to me!
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  • Something from the "When You Think You've Already Heard Every Stupid Idea In The World" Department.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • @Lobster1987 yes! I will once our system is fully working.
  • Sadly, I think the OP is long gone from this.  Would be interesting to see if she had any other or additional thoughts.
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    Meddied since 6/15/13!
  • Most of you are generally awful. Since being polite is out of the question at this point I would like to invite you to re-read my post. I am not demanding anything, I said I wanted to request. I was under the now very misguided impression that we were here to help each other. Feel free to continue to comment and bash all you want I wont be returning. To those who tried thanks.
    AroundTheBlock
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    So why did you go flag posts that weren't against the TOS?
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited July 2013
    OK, who flagged the OP for her last comment? It doesn't violate the TOS any more than any of our comments did earlier. 

    ETA: Thank you for removing it before I tattled on you, mystery flagger!  Sending flag abusers to the principal's office is my new thing now, you know. 




    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    [Deleted User]southernbelle0915wittykitty14daisey18
  • edited July 2013
    I actually only flagged one post and that was before I read the rules I was just looking for a way to remove the user. If their are other flags they didn't come from me.

    To be honest I stopped reading before I got through them all.
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