Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Groom @ Bridal Shower


Re: Groom @ Bridal Shower

  • I have personally never heard of such a huge contrast between a "wedding" shower vs. "bridal" shower.  I agree with a previous poster who pointed out that perhaps it is something different in different regions of the country.  I also think it may be different family-to-family.  In my family, it seems that when there has been a bridal shower, the groom has stopped in near the end with/without flowers for his bride-to-be.  If there are presents still being opened, sometimes he helps other times not.  He usually says hello to the ladies, especially those in the family that he has not yet met or is very familiar with.  And then he typically helps load gifts into the car.

    For my shower, I don't know too many details, but I believe that my b'maids have my fiance stopping in towards the end for coffee and cake and to say "hi there and hello" to the ladies in attendance.  The gifts are not all just for me, so as a couple, we made the decision (I was sure to ask him of his comfort level in doing so), that he would come by and say thank you to everyone for their generosity.  Nobody in my family or circle of friends has ever seemed spooked or bothered by the groom showing up.  Rather, I think many of the ladies in my family thought it was very sweet that he took the time to say "thank you," since, many of the gifts are for both the bride and groom.

    One thing I saw mentioned several times is comments regarding advice for the first year or if the couple hasn't been living together already.  I have two comments on that and hopefully I don't piss anyone off.  
    1. I've been living with my fiance now for about 2 years.  Just because we live together doesn't mean we don't have problems and aren't still constantly learning how to live as a unit. Per some advice/sage words I've already gotten from some of the older married women in my family: marriage is work in progress and you're always learning how to navigate your every day life with one another.  For the most part, my fiance and I get along fabulously as far as managing to live under the same roof, but I do not think for one second that I still can't use all the advice I can get! :)

     2. I hope that any of you ladies getting married out there are not waiting until your bridal/wedding showers to discuss finances and how you are planning on running your home or raising your children with your husband.  Personally, I've already known people my age who have been divorced after short/ill-planned marriages and those things are some of the biggest reasons for those problems.  And that's across the board in this country.  Hopefully, if you're marrying somebody, you've discussed things like money, how you want to raise your children, and what your values and beliefs are.  I think too many people don't do this, and well....most of us can imagine how that might end....

    No matter what anyone's shower is called, it's a time of happiness and celebration.  If your family and friends think the groom being there is weird (or your groom would rather have a root canal with no numbing medicaion), then maybe the shower isn't the right place for him.  If you think your family and friends wouldn't mind or would think it's sweet, then by all means, ask him along if you'd like him there.  

    Happy Shower-ing!  :)

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