Registry and Gift Forum

Honeyfund Contribution, but No Gift

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Re: Honeyfund Contribution, but No Gift

  • SBminiSBmini member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2013
    MyNameIsNot said: 
    Sorry, but it's always rude to ask for money.  It's rude to ask for any gift.  

    Just not registering is fine.  That lets people get the hint without asking them for anything.  It gets rude when you start asking for a gift.  Just as you wouldn't call your grandmother and tell her to get you a birthday gift, you don't bring up wedding gifts for yourself.  

    Forgive me, but isn't registering asking for gifts? 
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    SBmini said:
    MyNameIsNot said: 
    Sorry, but it's always rude to ask for money.  It's rude to ask for any gift.  

    Just not registering is fine.  That lets people get the hint without asking them for anything.  It gets rude when you start asking for a gift.  Just as you wouldn't call your grandmother and tell her to get you a birthday gift, you don't bring up wedding gifts for yourself.  

    Forgive me, but isn't registering asking for gifts? 
    No.    

     It's common knowledge that cash is always an option.  Let's face it who doesn't accept cash as a gift?  However, if you prefer to give a boxed gift you might not be aware their bathroom color scheme is blue or that they don't have a toaster. Registries are a guide to the couple's needs/wants and/or tastes in decor.   






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  • ohmrs2014ohmrs2014 Dirty Jerz mod
    Moderator 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    I don't really thing registering is asking for gifts because your not going around telling people where you registered.  If people ask if you are registered, then yes tell them and then it will travel by word of mouth.  But you don't go around saying hey I'm registered here so you need to buy this and this for me.  You are essentially leaving it up to the guests on whether they want to purchase you something, which in essence they don't.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    SBmini said:
    cmgilpin said:
    SBmini said:
    MuppetFan said:
    Well, it was rude to ask for money (which is what the honeyfund does). It's also rude to expect a gift. So I agree, just let it be.
    Why is it rude to ask for money? In some cultures it is expected to give money and gifts are not common.

    You are right, some cultures are more likely to give cash instead of boxed gifts, but that bride and groom shouldn't be ASKING for cash.  that is the rude part.
    I think the OP is completely in the wrong here for wanting to ask her friends why they didn't give her money, however, I don't necessary think it is rude to ask for money. We aren't planning on registering, literally half because of cultural differences (my fiance is Armenian and they do cash) and half because the stuff we need you cannot buy in a store. We've got a mixer and pots and pans etc. We need our pool to be refinished and our house painted. I'd rather let my guests know why we're not registered then leave them guessing and buying us stuff that we have. That's just my two cents. 
    Except that it is rude to ask for money.  Always.



  • You cannot assume people will give you gifts; that is rude.

    You cannot ASK people if they gave you gifts because you assumed they would give you gifts; that is rude.

    You cannot demand that people give you monetary gifts (which is what Honeyfund is) and then be annoyed when they don't; that is rude.

    So in short, you cannot ask them what you want to ask them because to ask them what you want to ask them tells them you have been thinking something that is terribly rude.
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  • Nightingalejules  When Aunt Muriel notices that you didn't cash the check and didn't write a note, she'll put two and two together and ask you if you got it.  

    It's perfectly acceptable to follow up to make sure your gift was received if you don't know and didn't get a thank you.  

    See, I'm wondering about this.  My fiance and I contributed money to a couple's honeyfund for their wedding, but we were so frazzled with things at the time, we didn't give a card.  We never received a Thank You card from them, so I'm concerned that they may have not received the money.  But I also don't know how to ask.

    I think this makes me unlikely to use these honeymoon registries.  It's too weird for me :)

  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited July 2013
    Nightingalejules  When Aunt Muriel notices that you didn't cash the check and didn't write a note, she'll put two and two together and ask you if you got it.  

    It's perfectly acceptable to follow up to make sure your gift was received if you don't know and didn't get a thank you.  

    See, I'm wondering about this.  My fiance and I contributed money to a couple's honeyfund for their wedding, but we were so frazzled with things at the time, we didn't give a card.  We never received a Thank You card from them, so I'm concerned that they may have not received the money.  But I also don't know how to ask.

    I think this makes me unlikely to use these honeymoon registries.  It's too weird for me :)


    Honey fund has you send the money directly to the couple if you didn't go through PayPal. So, if you never sent them a card with money in it, they never got the money.
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