open bar and cash bar

marip123 · April 2013

Were planning 1 hour open bar and after that cash bar. What do you members think?

artbyallie · April 2013

Why do you ask? Are you going to change your plans when every last person tells you we disapprove?

Host drinks for your guests for the entirety of the event, whether that means open bar, no bar, or just beer and wine and/or a signature drink. Your guests should never have to open their wallets because they are guests.

[Deleted User] · April 2013

You NEVER make your guests open their wallets at your wedding. It's incredibly crass, rude and tacky. If you had guests over to your place for dinner, would you make them pay you $8 for a glass of wine before handing it over? It's the same idea. Host only what you can afford. You can do beer, wine and a few signature drinks. If alcohol is not in your budget it's perfectly acceptable to have a dry reception.

Viczaesar · April 2013

Terrible idea.

AdeleDazeem · April 2013

I think that's pretty terrible.

As host, you're required to provide drinks for the duration of your event.

Your options are: host no alcohol at all, host limited alcohol, host open bar. There's many shades of options here. Whatever you do decide to host (for the WHOLE party) is the only available options. So, if you go with one type of beer and a signature drink, they you don't offer liquor and wine at a price. You just offer beer and your signature drink all evening.

See? You're hosting drinks and not breaking your budget.

AddieCake · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-bar-and-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:68c7ee24-e16b-4d0d-8c6d-b1ba84396df9Post:f9c06406-0495-4047-8694-5baf08af937b">open bar and cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]Were planning 1 hour open bar and after that cash bar. What do you members think?
Posted by marip123[/QUOTE]
I think it sucks.

Maggie0829 · April 2013

That is one bad idea. Host what you can afford all night. Never make your guests open their wallets. Period.

marip123 · April 2013

We don't want to be held liable if one of the quests had a car accident.

ZiggyZos · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-bar-and-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:68c7ee24-e16b-4d0d-8c6d-b1ba84396df9Post:72ee093f-18dc-4bba-84fc-0308360b3258">Re: open bar and cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]We don't want to be held liable if one of the quests had a car accident.
Posted by marip123[/QUOTE]

Charging guests for drinks does not change the liability, nor does it prevent people from drinking too much.

Instead of rudely requiring people to open their wallets, make sure the bartenders are cognizant of cutting off any guests that may be getting over served.

lyndausvi · April 2013

It varies from state to state, but I thought WI was a state that only the person who directly serves the person is liable? So if your reception is at a venue, the venue/bartender is responsible not the host. If the event is at your home, well that is different. Although I would really side-eye a cash bar in someone's home.

On another note, DUI/DWI's are based on blood alcohol levels. Someone can still be legally drunk from your cocktail party. So I guess I'm not sure how switching to a cash bar helps you liability wise?

AddieCake · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-bar-and-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:68c7ee24-e16b-4d0d-8c6d-b1ba84396df9Post:72ee093f-18dc-4bba-84fc-0308360b3258">Re: open bar and cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]We don't want to be held liable if one of the quests had a car accident.
Posted by marip123[/QUOTE]
How does having a cash bar stop people from drinking too much? I am a complete lightweight. I"d be drunk after a few drinks, which I would probably stock up on while they were free, actually. <div>
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[Deleted User] · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-bar-and-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:68c7ee24-e16b-4d0d-8c6d-b1ba84396df9Post:72ee093f-18dc-4bba-84fc-0308360b3258">Re: open bar and cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]We don't want to be held liable if one of the quests had a car accident.
Posted by marip123[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't understand how lead to a cash bar. Do you have a lot of alcoholics coming to your wedding? There are always precautions you can take to help prevent this. We're cutting off alcohol an entire hour before the reception's over and providing an espresso cart from after dinner to the very end. If you have these many reservations about your guests' abilities to hold their liquor, maybe you'd be better off with a dry reception.</div>

alithebride · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-bar-and-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:68c7ee24-e16b-4d0d-8c6d-b1ba84396df9Post:f9c06406-0495-4047-8694-5baf08af937b">open bar and cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]Were planning 1 hour open bar and after that cash bar. What do you members think?
Posted by marip123[/QUOTE]

i think it's cheap and awful.

host what you can afford. do not ask your guests to open their wallets under any circumstances.

MayberryAfterMidnight · April 2013

Ditto PPs. Also, does anyone else think there would be a mad dash that last 15 minutes of the open bar??

QueerFemme · April 2013

It's rude. Guests should never have to open their wallets at your wedding. Host what you can afford. If you are all up in arms over worrying about liability, then have a dry wedding. But don't host for an hour and then close the bar or begin making your guests pay for something that you were previously offering complimentary. It's tacky.

A wedding is no different than a dinner party as far as etiquette goes. Would you invite people over for dinner and say "feel free to have a cocktail before dinner, but if you want one after that, make sure you leave a $20 by the door"?

It's rude.

Jen4948 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-bar-and-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:68c7ee24-e16b-4d0d-8c6d-b1ba84396df9Post:72ee093f-18dc-4bba-84fc-0308360b3258">Re: open bar and cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]We don't want to be held liable if one of the quests had a car accident.
Posted by marip123[/QUOTE]

A cash bar does nothing to make you not liable; it also does nothing to reduce drinking. Making alcohol, and for that matter, anything else available in any way means that you need to pay for it and accept any consequences-not pass the costs on to your guests. That's completely rude.

Chrissiffine Wesley · April 2013

OMG..... you guys are so mean! This is my first time looking at any comments and Im not sure if I want to ask anything lol..... Well I guess I wont be having a cash bar!!!!

lyndausvi · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-bar-and-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:68c7ee24-e16b-4d0d-8c6d-b1ba84396df9Post:aedcc886-e544-4982-ad83-f7cc3aa6c837">Re: open bar and cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]OMG..... you guys are so mean! This is my first time looking at any comments and Im not sure if I want to ask anything lol..... Well I guess I wont be having a cash bar!!!!
Posted by chrwsl6[/QUOTE]

<div>Wait, the OP asked this question "<span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span"><strong>What do you members think</strong>?" Her words, her question. And we are mean for answering the question honestly? Wow.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">
</span></div><div><font face="Arial" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">I'm a firm believer if you can't handle then answer don't ask the question. She asked, she needs to be prepared the answer is not what she wants to hear. </span></font></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">
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artbyallie · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-bar-and-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:68c7ee24-e16b-4d0d-8c6d-b1ba84396df9Post:aedcc886-e544-4982-ad83-f7cc3aa6c837">Re: open bar and cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]OMG..... you guys are so mean! This is my first time looking at any comments and Im not sure if I want to ask anything lol..... Well I guess I wont be having a cash bar!!!!
Posted by chrwsl6[/QUOTE]

<div>Anyone who has lurked for any amount of time on these forums should know quite well how we all feel about cash bars. And if our being 'mean' (which we weren't, just blunt and honest) stopped you from doing something rude, then we've done something good. Yay us.</div>

marip123 · April 2013

We are offering free beer, wine, and soda. After dinner quests would have to pay for their cocktails. It's mainly because the grooms parents can not afford the expense of the cocktails. During cocktail hour cocktail drinks will be free. For the liability were going to contact our lawyer, Their's event insurance you can buy.

Jen4948 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-bar-and-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:68c7ee24-e16b-4d0d-8c6d-b1ba84396df9Post:a3f30153-8130-4b8e-b7bf-45733949b3d7">Re: open bar and cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]We are offering free beer, wine, and soda. After dinner quests would have to pay for their cocktails. It's mainly because the grooms parents can not afford the expense of the cocktails. During cocktail hour cocktail drinks will be free. For the liability were going to contact our lawyer, Their's event insurance you can buy.
Posted by marip123[/QUOTE]

Sorry, still wrong. Guests should not be paying for anything. If you can't afford to pay for cocktails, <em>you don't serve them.</em> Period. You don't make them available for people to buy.

This is not "being mean." Expecting your guests to shell out for what should be your hospitality is mean.

marip123 · April 2013

I like your idea, After dinner will just serve beer, wine and soda. No cocktails available. Cocktails will be available first hour of reception. I'll talk to my spouse, daughter and groom and his parents.what they think

Maggie0829 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-bar-and-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:68c7ee24-e16b-4d0d-8c6d-b1ba84396df9Post:031561d7-2067-421f-8e27-770fe5a55181">Re: open bar and cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]I like your idea, After dinner will just serve beer, wine and soda. No cocktails available. Cocktails will be available first hour of reception. I'll talk to my spouse, daughter and groom and his parents.what they think
Posted by marip123[/QUOTE]

Sorry to keep bursting your bubble, but if you can't afford to host cocktails all night then don't host them at all.

If I were a guest and during the cocktail hour I started drinking citrus vodka and sprite and then went back during dinner to get another one but told that no more cocktails would be served I would be a bit peeved.

You should never offer anything and then take it away later. It is either all or nothing. Why not just host a specialty drink all night. That way your guests still have the option of drinking a cocktail but it would be less expensive then having a variety of liquors availabe.

But whatever you do, what you serve in the beginning of the night should be served throughout.

aliciadunn01 · April 2013

I'm so shocked that most of the commenters on here are being so rude! OMG. If she wants to have a cash bar, then it's her choice. There is no written rule on what should be done when it's YOUR wedding. There are so many traditions that are not followed today. You guys are hilarious. Lady, don't let these folks act all snooty towards you. Do what you want.

aliciadunn01 · April 2013

Well, I googled/yahoo'd and even Bing'd for the written rules(which by your own words are written down somewhere for all to see) but I could not find a book called "PROPER ETIQUETTE." I even tried lower case letters and nothing came up. So I'm starting to think that you might not be a) telling the truth or b) had the book published yet.

Anyway.... not paying for ALCOHOLIC beverages is not considered rude. They can drink all soda and juice they want. Nowadays when so many traditional rules and standards are not being followed I feel that she can go against the grain if they choose to.

Maybe since you all are SOO adamant about this you can help sister girl out and send some cash her way so that she can do what you all are badgering her over. This way she can GUARANTEE not being rude. I'm sure she'd gladly take the donations.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-bar-and-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:68c7ee24-e16b-4d0d-8c6d-b1ba84396df9Post:d35986aa-92e4-4388-8018-00cea08c3158">Re: open bar and cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]There is no written rule on what should be done when it's YOUR wedding Yes, there are. It's called PROPER ETIQUETTE. "My Wedding" is not an excuse to do anything you want to do. If it were, it would be okay to punch people in the face as you walk down the aisle, kneecap Great Aunt Edna, and run over people in the limousine on the way to the reception. Does this make sense? It is NEVER okay to treat guests badly. The reception, by the way, is NOT for the couple at all. This is why it is called a reception. The couple RECEIVES the guests who attended their ceremony, thanks them for attending, is introduced to the public for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. They serve food and drinks because it is inappropriate to invite guests to ANY social function (in this case, the ceremony) without serving refreshments appropriate to the time of day. Receptions are not, and never have been, an after-wedding party for the bride and groom. The bride and groom get their celebrations at the bridal shower, bachelorette and bachelor party. The guests should not be charged for anything at the reception. Either pay for the alcohol or do not serve it at all.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

artbyallie · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-bar-and-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:68c7ee24-e16b-4d0d-8c6d-b1ba84396df9Post:d8edca19-675f-486b-87d0-958b46872240">Re: open bar and cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, I googled/yahoo'd and even Bing'd for the written rules(which by your own words are written down somewhere for all to see) but I could not find a book called "PROPER ETIQUETTE." I even tried lower case letters and nothing came up. So I'm starting to think that you might not be a) telling the truth or b) had the book published yet. Anyway.... not paying for ALCOHOLIC beverages is not considered rude. They can drink all soda and juice they want. Nowadays when so many traditional rules and standards are not being followed I feel that she can go against the grain if they choose to. Maybe since you all are SOO adamant about this you can help sister girl out and send some cash her way so that she can do what you all are badgering her over. This way she can GUARANTEE not being rude. I'm sure she'd gladly take the donations. In Response to Re: open bar and cash bar :
Posted by aliciadunn01[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>So... I'll just drop this here, shall I?</div><div><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Manners-Guide-Surprisingly-Dignified-Wedding/dp/0393069141" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/Manners-Guide-Surprisingly-Dignified-Wedding/dp/0393069141</a>

</div>

NYCMercedes · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-bar-and-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:68c7ee24-e16b-4d0d-8c6d-b1ba84396df9Post:d8edca19-675f-486b-87d0-958b46872240">Re: open bar and cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, I googled/yahoo'd and even Bing'd for the written rules(which by your own words are written down somewhere for all to see) but I could not find a book called "PROPER ETIQUETTE." I even tried lower case letters and nothing came up. So I'm starting to think that you might not be a) telling the truth or b) had the book published yet. Anyway.... not paying for ALCOHOLIC beverages is not considered rude. They can drink all soda and juice they want. Nowadays when so many traditional rules and standards are not being followed I feel that she can go against the grain if they choose to. Maybe since you all are SOO adamant about this you can help sister girl out and send some cash her way so that she can do what you all are badgering her over. This way she can GUARANTEE not being rude. I'm sure she'd gladly take the donations. In Response to Re: open bar and cash bar :
Posted by aliciadunn01[/QUOTE]

Holst what YOU can afford. Not a difficult concept.

aliciadunn01 · April 2013

YES, you should drop it! You said the book was called "PROPER ETIQUETTE." You probably had to google for 30 minutes to find this ridiculous book. The author is obviously over 65, she used the word "dignified." BWAH HA HA! Unless you live in Arkansas with your cousin Jethro and cousin Jed NO one wants a "dignified" wedding. Classy, YES, but dignified just makes me laugh out loud when I say it. Let this lady do what she wants #GAMEOVER<div>. In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-bar-and-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:68c7ee24-e16b-4d0d-8c6d-b1ba84396df9Post:e17b2359-b2ab-4a91-853d-9519654364fe">Re: open bar and cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: open bar and cash bar : So... I'll just drop this here, shall I? <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.amazon.com/Manners-Guide-Surprisingly-Dignified-Wedding/dp/0393069141">http://www.amazon.com/Manners-Guide-Surprisingly-Dignified-Wedding/dp/0393069141</a>
Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]
</div>

marip123 · July 2013

The groom's father decided on an open bar.

RebeccaB88 · July 2013

aliciadunn01 said:

Well, I googled/yahoo'd and even Bing'd for the written rules(which by your own words are written down somewhere for all to see) but I could not find a book called "PROPER ETIQUETTE." I even tried lower case letters and nothing came up. So I'm starting to think that you might not be a) telling the truth or b) had the book published yet.

*headdesk*

Dreamergirl8812 · July 2013

marip123 said:

The groom's father decided on an open bar.

Yay! And thanks for the update. And thanks for not going bonkers when people criticized your idea. Can I ask how it happened that they decided to host a full bar?

open bar and cash bar

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