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What to do if you don't want gifts, but prefer cash gifts instead?

courtney maritcourtney marit
First Comment
in Registry and Gift Forum
My fiance and I live on a yacht, and the last thing we need is fine china, but we do need funds to help us continue sailing the world. Many friends and family will not be able to attend the wedding in Italy, but want to give us a wedding gift. I don't know how to go about this with good etiquette? I have looked at the online cash gift registries, but it just doesn't feel right.  anyone out there have a suggestion? thanks!
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    courtney marit said:
    My fiance and I live on a yacht, and the last thing we need is fine china, but we do need funds to help us continue sailing the world. Many friends and family will not be able to attend the wedding in Italy, but want to give us a wedding gift. I don't know how to go about this with good etiquette? I have looked at the online cash gift registries, but it just doesn't feel right.  anyone out there have a suggestion? thanks!
    Either don't register or make a very small registry - most people will get the hint. If someone asks you "Where are you registered?" just respond with "Oh we didn't register since we don't need a lot of things, but we are saving up for our next sailing trip." Hopefully, most of your guests will understand your living situation and gift-give accordingly. 

    Cash registries, gift card registries, honeymoon registries are all very inappropriate since asking for cash in any form is very tacky. 
    image
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  • danirothdaniroth member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    My friend recommended MyRegistry.com to me and I am planning to use it myself. You can register for any item in any store/website you could possibly imagine...plus they offer something called a "cash gift fund" where your guests can purchase items from your registry in the form of a cash gift (exactly what you're looking for). And it also doesn't look like "bad etiquette" because its included with the other products and items on your registry. Really easy to use. Hope this helps!! 
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    daniroth said:
    My friend recommended MyRegistry.com to me and I am planning to use it myself. You can register for any item in any store/website you could possibly imagine...plus they offer something called a "cash gift fund" where your guests can purchase items from your registry in the form of a cash gift (exactly what you're looking for). And it also doesn't look like "bad etiquette" because its included with the other products and items on your registry. Really easy to use. Hope this helps!! 
    No, this is still tacky. People know cash is always appreciated. Trust me, they'll know how to write a check all on their own without any prompting.
    image
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  • yolandamunozyolandamunoz member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Hi Courtney

    I am in a similar situation.  My fiancé is from the US, I am from Peru, and we live in Chile.  We are getting married in Lima, Peru, so it´s complicated to register.  We already live together and have almost all the stuff we need.  

    If we get a registry in the US they are going to charge a lot to ship the gifts to Chile.  The same with guests from Peru.  So I am looking into the cash registry idea.  Many people say it´s tacky but I think depending of your specific situation it can be acceptable, if it´s done nicely.

    I´ve been doing some research and I found these sites:
    * http://www.uponourstar.com/  wish registry
    * http://www.honeyfund.com./  honeymoon fund
    * http://www.myregistry.com   wedding and wish registry
    * http://www.ourwishingwell.com/  cash and wishes
    * http://www.simpleregistry.com/#  cash gifts matching real gifts (or wishes)
    * http://bowlofcherries.com/  event gift and cash registry

    The thing is that these sites actually let you choose "gifts" or "wishes" that your guests will help you fulfill.  Maybe there is one that you like.  I am still reading all about these things.

    Have a nice day!
    Yoly
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Annnnddd I got a flag here too @KnotPorscha. 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] admin
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    @PDKH thank you for the heads up! Adding to my list.
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  • CaitlynAshleyCaitlynAshley member
    First Comment
    My fiancé and I have been living together for a while. We don't have a lot of space in our apartment, so we would prefer cash. Here's what we are doing:

    I have a very small registry (like 50 items max. Our wedding is about 175-200 people... Probably about 100 invitations). Then, I have informed my immediate family, like my parents and his, that we would prefer cash and to please spread the word. What we are hoping/expecting: people will ask our close family what we want and/or where we are registered. Our parents can suggest cash. If they would prefer to give us a gift gift- some people are traditional like that - we have the registry items that we do want.

    Hope this helps!
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  • katieg520katieg520 member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    CaitlynAshley said:
    My fiancé and I have been living together for a while. We don't have a lot of space in our apartment, so we would prefer cash. Here's what we are doing: I have a very small registry (like 50 items max. Our wedding is about 175-200 people... Probably about 100 invitations). Then, I have informed my immediate family, like my parents and his, that we would prefer cash and to please spread the word. What we are hoping/expecting: people will ask our close family what we want and/or where we are registered. Our parents can suggest cash. If they would prefer to give us a gift gift- some people are traditional like that - we have the registry items that we do want. Hope this helps!
    I am in the same situation and I think we are going to do the same thing.
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  • ninamethew83ninamethew83 member
    First Comment

    In my area people register for cash gifts as well. I also think that money matters more than spoons and glasses. You can do this by simply adding the details at our wedding website or through the invitation.  Here I am sharing a link through which you can know how you can ask for money gifts.

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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2013
    ninamethew83 said: In my area people register for cash gifts as well. I also think that money matters more than spoons and glasses. You can do this by simply adding the details at our wedding website or through the invitation.  Here I am sharing a link through which you can know how you can ask for money gifts.

    People matter more than money , spoons, or glasses.  You     never put any registry information on wedding invitations.  You never ask for money, under any circumstances.  What you are suggesting is rude and inappropriate.  

    Stop offering bad advice.  
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  • GrrArghGrrArgh member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    We linked to a small registry on our website and also put a small disclaimer down below the link explaining we have limited space due what will be our rental living situation. Sort of a hint that we love gifts (who doesn't) but we don't have room for a lot of the traditional things and knickknack people would typically give. I'd rather everyone just show up and have a good time, if they want to give us something from the registry or a check that's awesome, if not just show up and we'll all have fun!
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    ninamethew83 said:

    In my area people register for cash gifts as well. I also think that money matters more than spoons and glasses. You can do this by simply adding the details at our wedding website or through the invitation.  Here I am sharing a link through which you can know how you can ask for money gifts.

    Holy hell.  If it wasn't rude enough to have a cash registry, you have the gall to put it in the invitation?  Disgusting!

    OP, just skip the registry.  When people ask about it, just say "we aren't registered, because we don't really have room for much more physical stuff on the boat.  We're really focusing on saving for our next trip right now."  People who are comfortable giving money will write you a check.  People who aren't will pick out a physical gift or forgo the gift.  
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