When to put down deposit for Ceremony / Reception Venue

d2va · July 2013

Hello! I wasnt sure where exactly to post this, but I figured the ladies or Ettiquette almost always have good advice!

So, I have already selected a "date", and have already found the Venue. The date I would like is August 10, 2014.

My main concerns are that I want to go run and put a deposit because Im nervous that my date will no longer be available! lol I spoke with FI, and we first said we will go and put the deposit down in July (Goodbye July!

) Then he said in October, after we come back from our vacation in Israel. I think that October is to close to the date (if its still even available) and Im having a significant amount of people coming from Israel which I feel I would like to give them a definite date by October, while we are there- if not earlier so that they can begin to make arrangements as the tickets are very costly ($1,300 ++).

My FI also has family in Nicaragua that will also be traveling and I would also like to give them a definite date as they too will need to make arrangements.

So, what would you do?

UPDATE:

The deposit has been paid, and we have an official date!

He now understands and were on the same page!

Thanks ladies!

Blue & White · July 2013

Our date is April 12, 2014 and we put our deposit down in march. I don't think I'd wait till October, unless you're okay with a different date and/or venue.

SMarie89 · July 2013

I guess I'm not sure why you haven't booked yet. If you have your date and you know the venue - what's stopping you? I'd book ASAP if you're worried about them filling up.

d2va · July 2013

Blue & White said:

Our date is April 12, 2014 and we put our deposit down in march. I don't think I'd wait till October, unless you're okay with a different date and/or venue.

SMarie89 said:

I guess I'm not sure why you haven't booked yet. If you have your date and you know the venue - what's stopping you? I'd book ASAP if you're worried about them filling up.

Thank you ladies!

My FI doesnt understand, and the fact that I may lose the date I want, is making me nervous. Especially because I feel like in October (Ill be back on the 16th ) and November will be me finding a dress!

kmmssg · July 2013

I agree with you, you need to do this now.

Here is a good example for you: My last DD was married in May '09. In Feb '08 we contracted her photographer. He only had two 2009 dates left available in Feb 2008.

I've helped 3 DD's plan their weddings and if I learned anything is it to get your vendors ASAP. It can be a delicate dance to get everyone available on the same date and Summer time is peak wedding time. I would not wait.

d2va · July 2013

kmmssg said:

I agree with you, you need to do this now.

Here is a good example for you: My last DD was married in May '09. In Feb '08 we contracted her photographer. He only had two 2009 dates left available in Feb 2008.

I've helped 3 DD's plan their weddings and if I learned anything is it to get your vendors ASAP. It can be a delicate dance to get everyone available on the same date and Summer time is peak wedding time. I would not wait.

Thanks! I live in South Florida, so down here August is "off season", but still feel like we need to get the ball rolling. Thankfully, the venue I have chosen has most of the vendors that I would be using. I need to start looking for a photographer too!

Ven&Radio · July 2013

My wedding is this September - I paid the venue deposit in March 2012. We also booked the photographer and caterer in late spring/early summer 2012.

MayDay513 · July 2013

I would book as soon as possible a the date may be gone when you come back. August is right in the middle of wedding season so it will most likely get booked. I had a May 2013 wedding and we were booked by Sept 2012.

[Deleted User] · July 2013

Yeah, do it now. Is there a reason he wants to wait? If you already know the date and the venue, that seems silly.

thejucheidea · July 2013

Our wedding is in October and we put down the deposit last December. It was the last available Saturday in October. Book as soon as possible -- do not wait.

d2va · July 2013

huynhette said:

I would book as soon as possible a the date may be gone when you come back. August is right in the middle of wedding season so it will most likely get booked. I had a May 2013 wedding and we were booked by Sept 2012.

Im going to speak with the FI today about it. Because I live in Miami, theres a lot of hispanic people, so aside from just weddings my venue of course caters to the Quinces, and people reserve dates for those well in advance too!

d2va · July 2013

LMc0322 said:

Yeah, do it now. Is there a reason he wants to wait? If you already know the date and the venue, that seems silly.

He really just doesnt understand that you cant just wait a few months to throw a wedding for 150 people. I explained to him that we are on a budget, and if we were millionaires and/ or my parents were millionaires then it wouldnt be that big of a deal because it wouldnt be hard to find a venue, he gets it, but he doesnt FULLY get it.

Men!

Lowell14 · July 2013

I would book asap IF the venue is the one you are going to chose. Im getting married Oct 2014 and booked my venue Feb/Mar of this year. I have also booked my florist in March and Photographer this past month. You make a very valid point about having a firm date in place for anyone travelling to celebrate with you. Good luck!

[Deleted User] · July 2013

d2va said:

LMc0322 said:

Yeah, do it now. Is there a reason he wants to wait? If you already know the date and the venue, that seems silly.
He really just doesnt understand that you cant just wait a few months to throw a wedding for 150 people. I explained to him that we are on a budget, and if we were millionaires and/ or my parents were millionaires then it wouldnt be that big of a deal because it wouldnt be hard to find a venue, he gets it, but he doesnt FULLY get it.

Men!

Ha! Of course. Everyone else has covered this here, but I'm getting married in March. In Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh is a cold place, winter weddings shouldn't book up as fast. But we booked our venue in November 2012 for a March 2014 wedding. There are two separate places in the venue where weddings can be held. The other room was already booked. So tell him you need to get on it!

libby2483 · July 2013

We put down our deposit over a year ahead of time and got the last available Saturday of the summer. I would put your deposit down sooner rather than later.

d2va · July 2013

LMc0322 said:

d2va said:

LMc0322 said:

Yeah, do it now. Is there a reason he wants to wait? If you already know the date and the venue, that seems silly.
He really just doesnt understand that you cant just wait a few months to throw a wedding for 150 people. I explained to him that we are on a budget, and if we were millionaires and/ or my parents were millionaires then it wouldnt be that big of a deal because it wouldnt be hard to find a venue, he gets it, but he doesnt FULLY get it.

Men!

Ha! Of course. Everyone else has covered this here, but I'm getting married in March. In Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh is a cold place, winter weddings shouldn't book up as fast. But we booked our venue in November 2012 for a March 2014 wedding. There are two separate places in the venue where weddings can be held. The other room was already booked. So tell him you need to get on it!

Thanks! I definitely will! Especially since Im going to be booking the whole building! LOL

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Now, to play tug-o-war with the FI!!

CheleLyn · July 2013

One venue we considered requires a deposit made by 6 months out. Basically, they pencil you in but if someone else comes along and says they want that date, the venue calls and gives you first dibs...someone else is here and is prepared to pay today, if you still want this date, then we need your deposit today.

That actually worked good for us. We got our date reserved but then decided on a different venue so all we had to do was call venue A and say we are going a different direction. We weren't out any money on the deposit.

MandyMost · July 2013

If you haven't signed a contract, then you don't have a date/venue yet! There's no reason to wait--you need to have a date before you can do anything else, and you need to have a venue before you can pick a date (since dates may be booked). Essentially, as SOON as you start wedding planning, you should lock in a date/venue.

We started looking for venues in June of this year (2013) for fall of 2014--Sep/Oct/Nov. More than half of all Saturdays were booked at all the venues we looked at, and this is a good 16+ months away.

d2va · July 2013

MandyMost said:

If you haven't signed a contract, then you don't have a date/venue yet! There's no reason to wait--you need to have a date before you can do anything else, and you need to have a venue before you can pick a date (since dates may be booked). Essentially, as SOON as you start wedding planning, you should lock in a date/venue.

We started looking for venues in June of this year (2013) for fall of 2014--Sep/Oct/Nov. More than half of all Saturdays were booked at all the venues we looked at, and this is a good 16+ months away.

I just had a mini melt down via text to the FI ! lolol

I also called to the Venue but they are closed today, so I sent an email asking if there was maybe a "Save the Date" deposit, so I can be less nervous.

Im going to cross this off my list this week!

Peaseblossom55 · July 2013

I wouldn't wait either. We got engaged at the end of March and began looking at places in early May almost half of the venues we looked at were already booked on the date we had with the church. We considered changing the date but we found a venue we loved and once we knew we booked and had the deposit in asap.

NYCBruin · July 2013

We put a deposit down for Sept 2014 a few months ago and a lot of the Saturdays for 2014 were already gone at that point. I definitely wouldn't wait if you know what date/venue you want.

smalfrie19 · July 2013

We booked our venue about 17 months out! But I was getting nervous too in the weeks leading up to it.

Anastasia517 · July 2013

kmmssg said:

I agree with you, you need to do this now.

Here is a good example for you: My last DD was married in May '09. In Feb '08 we contracted her photographer. He only had two 2009 dates left available in Feb 2008.

I've helped 3 DD's plan their weddings and if I learned anything is it to get your vendors ASAP. It can be a delicate dance to get everyone available on the same date and Summer time is peak wedding time. I would not wait.

We're getting married in May 2014 and when we contacted our photographer in early January of 2013, two couples has already booked that month. Things definitely booked up faster than I expected.

PrettyGirlLost · July 2013

You are doing it backwards. You get the availability from your ceremony and reception sites, pick from the dates that are free, and once you have put down your deposit you have your date.

We are getting married in October 2014, started looking for venues in January of 2013 and most were almost totally booked for Oct 2014 already.

Good Luck!

Weesh · July 2013

We booked our venue in January 2013 for our July 4, 2014 wedding. We knew we would have a popular date, but our venue worked with us on the deposit because we booked so early. We booked our officiant, photographer, and DJ shortly after because of the date. Don't be afraid to look and/or book early, good luck!

Weesh · July 2013

Double post, damn computer!

LavenderHoneyBee · July 2013

Do you also need to book a church? If so look into availability for that on your date too, we booked our venue and church 16 months in advance and still didn't get our first choice with the church due to dates already being taken. You need to book now. There is no reason to wait. Ask him why he wants to risk losing it and having to start your search all over again?

[Deleted User] · July 2013

scribe95 said:

So am I the only one concerned that the FI doesn't want to put any money down on his wedding? Is he hedging or what? What are his reasons for waiting?

I asked that, and the only answer seems to be because he doesn't think you have to this early. If that's the reason he gave, it makes no sense.

ashleyep · July 2013

IMO, you don't have a date until you have a venue reserved. We didn't consider our date official until the church had us in their books and we had a signed contract (with deposit) with the reception venue. This was in April for August 2014.

You need to put it down ASAP if you really want to get married then, I'm not sure why your FI is dragging his feet about it.

MandyMost · July 2013

d2va said:

MandyMost said:

If you haven't signed a contract, then you don't have a date/venue yet! There's no reason to wait--you need to have a date before you can do anything else, and you need to have a venue before you can pick a date (since dates may be booked). Essentially, as SOON as you start wedding planning, you should lock in a date/venue.

We started looking for venues in June of this year (2013) for fall of 2014--Sep/Oct/Nov. More than half of all Saturdays were booked at all the venues we looked at, and this is a good 16+ months away.

I just had a mini melt down via text to the FI ! lolol

I also called to the Venue but they are closed today, so I sent an email asking if there was maybe a "Save the Date" deposit, so I can be less nervous.

Im going to cross this off my list this week!

What do you mean a "Save the Date" deposit? When you book a venue, you give a deposit. That's how it works. If it's JUST a venue (i.e. the empty space) then maybe the deposit is the whole venue fee, but if it's a package deal then usually it's either a percentage of the expected wedding cost or just a flat rate deposit.

PrettyGirlLost · July 2013

scribe95 said:

So am I the only one concerned that the FI doesn't want to put any money down on his wedding? Is he hedging or what? What are his reasons for waiting?

Maybe he doesn't have the money for the deposit yet. Let's not get all "Who the Bleep Did I Marry" yet :-P

ETA: OP, any updates? How did it go? Did you get your venue and date? I'm nervous for you now, lol!

When to put down deposit for Ceremony / Reception Venue

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