Future MIL inviting person to shower/rehearsal dinner who are not invited to the wedding.

southernbelle0915 · August 2013

Depending on how his message is received, I say you inform her that, "due to the difficult predicament she has created for you two, you will not be attending either event and she should inform the people she invited that the events are cancelled." I would also do this if she doesn't respond to your FI's message. Don't assume that because he told her "how it is" that she'll be receptive. From what you've said, I doubt she will.

LavenderHoneyBee · August 2013

jennythorpe said:

She will not talk to him in person or on the phone because she said there is nothing to talking about and the decision has been made on her part. There was nothing he could do but text her.

I'm so sorry to hear this. When is the wedding? Could FI (and maybe you) go speak with her in-person (just go - dont wait for an invite), and try to talk it out at all? If there is no reasoning with this woman, then you are better off without her at the wedding. BUT if there is any chance of her reconsidering it'd be worth it to give it a shot. Try to keep in mind that FMIL is probably in a really tough spot and just wants her kids to both be happy and be in the same room together. They say love is blind, and a mother's love is VERY blind so try not to fault her for supporting FSIL. best of luck!

OliveOilsMom · August 2013

I would begin contacting your family and friends invited to the shower to let them know the shower has been cancelled. Perhaps FI could even contact his family too. Something simple like:

You:Hi, Aunt Betsy, this is Jenny. I just wanted to call and let you know that unfortunetly my shower had to be cancelled.
Aunt Betsy: Oh, but why?
You: A miscommunication basically, too boring to fully explain! I look forward to seeing you at the wedding!

Then also tell everyone about the RD plan changes. Hopefully that's a smaller group that just includes your immediate family and WP, no out of town guests.

southernbelle0915 · August 2013

@knotporscha @knotjackie @knotirene - flags

jennythorpe · August 2013

For the shower, I was thinking about sending out amended invites that say something like : The location of the bridal shower has now been moved to a more convenient location at (insert new location). Also, please now RSVP with (so and so) at 555-5555.

There are many other people who would like to throw a shower for me. We could keep the same date and time. This way it won't be as embarrassing for me. What do you think for doing something like that? I would only send this new info to my family and friends obviously....not his family.

jennythorpe · August 2013

I wouldn't ask anyone, I already know people that are fine with taking it over. Just wanted to know about sending out changes to the shower....

LavenderHoneyBee · August 2013

jennythorpe said:

For the shower, I was thinking about sending out amended invites that say something like : The location of the bridal shower has now been moved to a more convenient location at (insert new location). Also, please now RSVP with (so and so) at 555-5555.

There are many other people who would like to throw a shower for me. We could keep the same date and time. This way it won't be as embarrassing for me. What do you think for doing something like that? I would only send this new info to my family and friends obviously....not his family.

If you have friends that are willing to host a new shower for you, this is fine. But don't say "a more convenient location." Just say: The shower location has been moved to X Location." This could also be done via telephone.

Future MIL inviting person to shower/rehearsal dinner who are not invited to the wedding.

Re: Future MIL inviting person to shower/rehearsal dinner who are not invited to the wedding.

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