July '13 Brides Invasion: Our advice for the July '14 Brides!

emineminem · August 2013

Hi July 2014 ladies! Congratulations to you all!

The July 2013 brides are all happily married now and many of us are back from our honeymoons, so we wanted to stop by to offer our wedding planning and wedding day advice to all of you. The July 2012 brides did this for us, the '11's did it for them, and we wanted to continue the tradition for you!

In this thread, the July '13 brides will swing by to offer their top advice for you! We will also stick around to answer any questions you may have for us!

July '13 Brides, @getting2vowels came up with this list of starting points to get the conversation flowing:
~Something you thought you had to have and realized AFTER it was NBD
~Something you wasted too much $ on/ or not enough $ on
~Words of advice, a moment of clarity or moment of craziness that you look back and laugh at now

Congratulations again, July 2014 brides! Enjoy every minute of the next 11 months - it goes quick!

Salsera29 · August 2013

Hi Ladies! My wedding was two weeks ago so everything is still pretty fresh in my mind!

One thing I spent way too much time thinking about was BM dresses. At first I thought I wanted them to wear the same dress, and I'm so glad in the end I had them pick their own! Pick a designer, color, and style if you want them to be similar but don't waste energy trying to pick one that looks good on everyone.

Something I wish we had spent money on was a videographer...5 minutes before the ceremony we were scrambling trying to figure out who to ask to record the ceremony. I don't even know if the video came out at all...looking back i wish I had just sucked it up and spent the money!

Don't overlook the ceremony! I feel like a lot of brides concentrate so much on the reception and not so much the ceremony...that ended up being our favorite part, and the only thing we both remember in detail. I'm SO glad we paid a little more for the officiant we had!

Keep lurking and asking advice here on TK...it will help you stay grounded, help with your stress level and teach you how to be a good host to your guests.

Keep your expectations realistic. There's nothing wrong with wanting magical moments (which you will have...you're getting married!) but if you watch SYTTD, My Fair Wedding, or the rest of those shows, remember that is not real life!

That's all I have for now, but I'm happy to answer any questions and congratulations! :-)

emineminem · August 2013

I got married on July 13, 2013, and yes, it was the best day of my life!!

Something I wasted too much money on...well, we tried to keep the whole wedding under 10k since we paid for it ourselves and I think we stayed pretty true to that. I ended up going over on the catering the most - paid around $6k when we only wanted to spend $4k...BUT I wouldn't consider it a waste, since everyone loved the food!

I could say I didn't spend enough on a DOC, because in retrospect, it might have made the whole day run a little smoother, but I also feel like with the stellar bridal assistants I had (my Godsister and DH's best man's girlfriend stepped up and made sure I was stress free all day!) and my awesome photographers and caterers, I might have thought a DOC was a waste of money after all was said and done.

My best advice is to enjoy every second of the time you get with your new husband on your wedding day. Our favorite moments were our first look and dinner at our sweetheart table, because both of them were times where we could relax and observe, and just be together.

The other thing is to just know in advance that SOMETHING is going to go wrong. Our photobooth didn't even show up! I was so zen about it on the big day, I just said, "ok, then we won't have a photobooth!" and went on with my day (even though I'm pissed about it now haha) The point is, you're still at your wedding, at your reception, and you've just married your best friend and no one is going to notice if your flowers are the wrong color, if your bustle has come undone (this happened to a bunch of us '13-ers!) because the important thing is that you're there celebrating your love and marriage!!

EDIT: forgot to add, I notice you guys started a FB group. We started on about a year or so out too, and I love every single bride in that group so much! Their advice and support has been invaluable - so if you haven't yet, join that group!

Best of luck, ladies! Looking forward to answering any questions!

emineminem · August 2013

oh, I totally agree with @salsera29 about the videographer!! we hired flip-a-hit, those little cameras you pass out to your guests, and we didn't get nearly as much footage as we wanted! I definitely would hire a videographer if we could do it all again.

emineminem · August 2013

oops, double posted :-P

avolker1 · August 2013

I got married July 13th in NJ and it was the best day/night ever! We had SO much fun and even though little things here and there didn't go exactly as planned, everything was wonderful and I'm so grateful for that.
~Something you thought you had to have and realized AFTER it was NBD

I ordered dessert/pastry bags to for our dessert table so people could take sweets home with them and barely anyone did. The bags weren't expensive but I thought people would be really into taking food home.

~Something you wasted too much $ on/ or not enough $ on

I don't think we wasted too much money on anything because we really didn't go over the top with things. Our one big splurge was our photographer, so hopefully once we get our pictures back I will still be happy we spent what we did on him. I could have spent more money on a card box. I got a cute box from Michael's but I was frantically cutting the card slit in it two nights before the wedding so it didn't look very polished. I guess that was more something I should have spent more time on rather than more money.

~Words of advice, a moment of clarity or moment of craziness that you look back and laugh at now

As others have said, and as I'm sure you keep hearing; things will go wrong. It might be something small, it might be something big. Just remember to enjoy your day no matter what happens. Take moments to spend with just your new husband. EAT! I was bummed I ate only a few bites of my dinner because I was too excited about everything I wasn't really hungry. But looking back on it, I wish I had eaten more. Tell your photographer what shots you want. I wish I had been more assertive because the next day I realized we didn't do a few things I wish I had.

Appreciate your bridal party, family and friends who are supporting and helping you through the process. I let my bridesmaids pick their own dresses within certain parameters and they loved that, and they all looked great because they were happy with what they wore. They told me I was the most laid back bride and that it was actually fun to be in our wedding as opposed to other weddings they'd been in where the bride was too demanding. That made me happy because I wanted everyone to have a great experience.

Don't stress about the weather because there's nothing you can do about it. We didn't know until the day of whether or not we'd be able to do our outdoor ceremony.

I think that's all I have for now! Missquela said it already, but it seriously goes by SO fast. I remember when it was July 2012 and 2013 felt like it was really far away. I blinked and it was here! Good luck!

keyaira04 · August 2013

Hello July 2014 ladies! I pray your day is everything like ours on July 5, 2013 and better! Special shout out to any ladies w/ questions about getting married during the 4th of July weekend, feel free to contact me via personal message and use me as a resource, if needed.

Our day was intimate, blessed, and just the way HUBBY AND I WANTED!

Recap of my wedding week:http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/989641/mrs-williamson-s-recap#latest

Pro Photos FB album: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10152987006685317.1073741832.285766410316&type=1

~Something you thought you had to have and realized AFTER it was not that deep

At the END: Flowers. I hate to admit it. They were so pretty and everything I wanted. It was my baby breathe vision come true! But it was an extra $500 that I didn't HAVE to spend. I could have done it with real touch baby breathe and been ok.

Early on, INVITES! I spent so much time and energy on invites and STDs when people didn't read them, didnt open them, didnt post them...I'm not kidding. If I had a dollar for every time I had a guest (including my dad) who thought our wedding was July 6 or 4th...during the month of June 2013...I would have a cool $100 on me now. Most of my issues was I tried to DYI kangaroo invites and spend some much money and time on them only to do something simple on VistaPrint (your new BBF). I went to guests homes and found our invites were throw in with old mail. Save your money in this area; don't settle but do not over think it either.

~Something you wasted too much $ on/ or not enough $ on:

See above regarding invites/STDs. IF I had just thought things thru and went with VistaPrint early on, I would have saved over $100.

We could have spent more money on better gifts for our wedding party. Many of the July 2013 ladies got their bridesmaids Coach wristlets/purses on sale and I know my girls would have LOVED that compared to what I gave them.

What I will say about money is that I saved much money due to planning ahead. We were under budget at the end of the day. PLEASE don't let people talk you into the whole "you have time, you don't need to book/plan/buy that now". I used EVERYTHING I bought (I repurposed those invites BTW) and saved money because I locked/booked 2013 rates in 2011/2012, used semi-annual sales, coupons, etc. Sometimes its good to wait and sometimes its not; you be the judge and make the best decision for FI and your budget at that time.
~Words of advice, a moment of clarity or moment of craziness that you look back and laugh at now

My Dad gave me the best advice.

"Your expectations are too high for people during your wedding. You are expecting people to act different (nicer, be understanding, accommodate you, think of you), BUT they are going to act the way they are; like its any other day."

After that, every drama filled issue that came up, I heard those words and reminded myself that this person, while they are being inconsiderate, is acting like that would any other day, so don't trip. This allowed me to enjoy my wedding week. I only wish he had told me this sooner. Keep this in mind early on as your mom start to think its her wedding or your bridesmaids don't help out or even worse, drops out or the cater does not answer your emails for weeks OR your FI not only acts but SAYS he does not care about planning for the wedding...Use this group to vent when it does happen, though

Get a coordinator: day of, month of, or full time. I DYI 80% of our wedding and was in full control of every part of it. But at the end of the day, that last month, I was glad my MOC was here to take over. And from the rehearsal to the wedding after party, she took care of everything and I let her. And I was able to enjoy my day. And yep, mines was a well trusted relative w/ experience. Family/Friends can be great business partners when contracts and expectations are clear...and followed.

Lastly, if you are a DYI bride like was, plan your projects and DO MOCK UPS! This saves money and allows you to know early on if you need a pro to implement your vision. For me, invites/STDs and flowers is when I needed a pro to step in.

Many high blessings to you,

July 2013 bride, Sharee

shilotony2012 · August 2013

Hi! We got married 3 weeks ago and I havent ever been happier!! I love being a wife to my DH!

One of the biggest issues we had was the photographer. He stopped contacting us 4 weeks out. We hadnt signed a contract or put down deposit, he just didnt do that, so we had to scramble to find a new one IN OUR BUDGET, which was really hard cause he gave us such a great deal, in two weeks. We got the bare bones package and now have to save $$ to even get the pics! So, always sign a contract and put down a deposit, no matter what!

The weather is also somethng that gave us a hard time. It was 95 degrees, real feel 110, and almost 100% humidity! We werent able to do outdoor pics which still crushes me, and we missed others because I was so worried about time I was rushing to get them done. Dont do that. Just relax and have a list. Dont believe the photog that they have done this for years and know what shots to get. Make a list of must have pics and make sure you get them. DH and I are getting dressed up again in two weeks and my BIL will be taking outdoor pics that we should have done the day of. We wont have the WP, which saddens me, but we will have pretty outside pics, in a more relaxed way, than we would have on the day of.

List goes for the DJ as well. Ours was so bad, didnt listen to us at all, people started leaving around 9. Just make a list. Not for all the songs, you want guests to be able to make requests, but if they can play 45 songs the whole night, maybe give 30 must play songs.

If you have an easy on and off dress, I suggest taking it off when going to the bathroom. I did it, my sister helped me, and it wasthe best idea I had that night! And it cooled me off and helped me relax a bit. Especially seeing my lacey dress hanging over the stall door and me in my boustier and spanx, lol. \

Kind of wish we got a videographer. People were raving about the ring bearer and how cute he was and since I was in the room I missed it all!

Inivtes were no big deal. Between groupons and Vista Prints sales, they were so inexpensive and looked so awesome! I didnt do STDs, and didnt really need them so I wouldnt spend the $$ if you are on a tight budget.

As for color scheme and attire, dont sweat it! I couldnt decide on a color scheme with 2-3 colors, so I didnt. We have 9 colors in the beginning, but between some girls droppign out, we ended up with 6. It looked so amazing everyone was raving about it all night long! Even the venue said they had never seen anything like it and it looked incredible.

Do not settle on a 2nd best for your dress. You will always have the one in the back of your head. I didnt think I could afford my dream dress so I found one that could be altered to look like it, and between the alterations I could have gotten the one! Now, I LOVE my dress, but still in the back of my head I see The one!

Involve your Fi as much as he wants to be. Realize that while you stress over the color of the ink and the font on the invites, your FI really doesnt care. Not that he doesnt care about you or the wedding, but for most men they just want to show up and marry you. DH did help, but when I was most stressed was when I was asking for his help and all he woudl say is whatever I wanted. I realized he just wanted me happy and wanted to allow me to pick things!

Like Sharee said, plan ahead, but once you make a decision stick with it.I have so many left overs because I changed my mind so much. Look for coupons. I bought one thing of jars a week so I could use a coupon each time. If you plan ahead you can do that, but if you dont you will end up spending way more than you should.

Oh, as to flowers, make sure if you want to keep them, keep water in the vases. Our venue dumped the water out of the vases and by the time we realized it the flowers were ruined. I was only able to save a few petals .

Lastly, please do not get bent out of shape or allow the etiquette boards on here get to you. remember every wedding, guest list, and family is different. You know your group better than some ladies on the internet. If you know your family/friends wont be offended, go for it. Etiquette is always changing for what is acceptable, so as long as you arent being intentionally rude or putting your guests last, you should be fine.

I think thats it! Enjoy and remember the end product is a happy marriage!

Getting2Vowels · August 2013

Hi girls. We were married on July 27th and it was truly the most amazing day. The weather couldn't have been any better. Here's some of my advice is like to pass along..

~Something you thought you had to have and realized AFTER it was NBD: there really want anything too huge We wasted money on. If anything though I would say we wasted money on table number holders. Our venue already had tall gold ones but I was hell bent to have small silver ones since to match our color scheme. I even emailed the venue to make sure everything was set up correctly. In the end the ones they had worked so much better and I didn't even notice until they were breaking down tables that night.

Something you wasted too much $ on/ or not enough $ on:
Something I wished we did was have a videographer. We had 3 flip cams recording the ceremony and that was most important to me but I wish I had video dancing with my dad. The 3 cams did catch what was most important to me I just wish someone thought of doing the rest.
If it's in your budget then definitely splurge for it. . even if it's just the moments you really want.

Words of advice, a moment of clarity or moment of craziness that you look back and laugh at now..
Don't become a bridezilla people hate! I can honestly say I was so calm throughout the whole process.. people began to wonder if I was actually planning anything at all haha.
By the month before the wedding we had everything finished. The last DIY needed touching up but I want stressed. I urge you all to get as much done as possible so you're not being friends for help when there's no time.
Ask your MOH for help. I hardly used mine bc she has her own wedding on the horizon but when we needed help with favors (total waste of $$ btw) she was there all night helping put them together.
Also make sure you thank your BP. If you can splurge on a great gift, do it. These are the people that are most important to you and you want to thank them for being there on your special day.

Lastly, don't worry about the weather. If it rains there's nothing you can do. Embrace it, buy some fun golashes and check Pinterest for some fun photo ops!!

I hope you all have a fantastic time planning this! It truly is a magical time. . have fun with your fiances and don't stress about the things no one will remember!! At the end of the day its just you and him married :-)

Getting2Vowels · August 2013

missquela said:
EDIT: forgot to add, I notice you guys started a FB group. We started on about a year or so out too, and I love every single bride in that group so much! Their advice and support has been invaluable - so if you haven't yet, join that group!

this!!

I LOVE that I started this group. While your family and friends are there use this group! It was such a great sounding board and I feel like I have long lasting friendships with these women!! We even have our first baby on the way from the group!!

ScrabbleAndLlamas · August 2013

Hey! Sorry I'm late- we're still on our honeymoon! I got married a month ago today! So far, it's been pretty awesome. It's a little surreal to hear my voice saying "husband" to random people. Here's my answers:

~Something you thought you had to have and realized AFTER it was NBD

That silly "something new, old, blue, ect." rhyme. I started trying to figure it all out, but then it ended up with like five things pinned to the inside of my dress, and that just seemed ridiculous.

~Something you wasted too much $ on/ or not enough $ on

Too much? My sash. I got caught up in the "ohmygodifoundmydress" feeling, and bought a crazy expensive blush satin sash at the salon. When I got it, I realized I could have bought ten rolls of the exact ribbon at Michaels for the cost of the sash. Oh well. Not enough? Nothing that I can think of!

~Words of advice, a moment of clarity or moment of craziness that you look back and laugh at now

Something will go wrong. It just will. You can choose to let it affect your day, or not. My photographer's assistant quit in between the ceremony and the reception, then held her side of the photos hostage (J13 ladies, I'll update you in the group in a bit! It's a good story.)

Also, you are going to get a crash course in etiquette over the next eleven months. It's going to be overwhelming, and you are going to annoy everyone else in your life by sticking to it. Really, the major rule to remember in all this planning is "Would I like this if I was a guest at this wedding?" Don't expect your friends to honestly answer this question for you. I was originally planning on having a traditional head table and separating the bridal party and their SOs. I told my best friend, and she told me that was fine. Then, it occurred to me that they're going to be married in a year or so, and I'll be in the bridal party. Would I like it if DH had to sit somewhere else? No. So, all bridal party and all SOs sat at our head table! When I told her my change in plans, she told me she was so relieved! Of course she was going to tell me she was fine with it, but she really wasn't. And she's my friend who's usually crazy honest! This question can be useful for other things, too. "There's regular chairs instead of chiavari. Would I like this if I was a guest at this wedding?" It probably doesn't matter all that much. "The napkins are unmonogrammed. Would I like this if I was a guest at this wedding?" Do they still remove food? Then it's fine! "There's address labels instead of calligraphy! Would I like this if I was a guest at this wedding?" Okay, who the hell are you inviting- Martha effing Stewart?! Generally, this question will get you on the right side of things as long as you answer it honestly to yourself.

Oh, and final words of wisdom? Yes, people get weird around weddings. Friends will act different. Some members of your families will freak out. Yes, it is them, not you, as long as you've answered the 'would I like this' question honestly. It gets better after the wedding.

Please, ask us questions! It's hard to get bridal brain to go away!

Getting2Vowels · August 2013

I'll concur with woods. .. Some of our extended family and some friends would say things like "why are you doing that?" Or "What's this for".. my MOH and I also got in a spat over something. My best advice is just say "thank you for your feedback/idea...whatever" and let it go. This is your wedding and you do it how you both like it. If you don't care about matching colors that's fine, if you're not doing a bouquet toss, who cares?! ( all our friends were married and we skipped the garter and bouquet thing. .I got non stop comments early on but people eventually got over it).

I also forgot to comment on having a few minutes at some point with your new husbands.. just to chill and take it in. We skipped out on cocktail hour and had some time to talk and just relish in the moment :-)

Belle0720 · August 2013

Big Congrats July 2014 Brides! July is a great month to get married :-)

Something you thought you had to have and realized AFTER it was NBD

Before we were even engaged we had a venue picked out for 'one day'. Once we got engaged we quickly tried to book appointments to look at venues and found out that our dream venue was going to be doing renovations the summer we wanted to get married and wouldn't book any weddings. I cried, and told everyone how crushed I was. But we fell in love with another venue---and while I still loooove the style and beauty of the venue we originally wanted, our actual wedding venue had a lot more to offer and I'm so so glad that things turned out the way they did.

Something you wasted too much $ on/ or not enough $ on
Although in the last few months of wedding planning I stopped caring so much about how much things were going to go cost, I wish I had let go earlier on and picked a few of my first choice vendors/items. Don't get me wrong I still came in at 150% of 'budget' lol but at that point I think I should have just gone all out so I wouldn't have these regrets at the end of the day. Big ones were the florist & linen rentals. I ended up using a cheaper florist and also DIYing half of the flowers. I looove the flowers that I DIYed but our centerpieces from the florist were all wrong and I know that if we had gone with my first choice florist she would have done a much better job. I also tried to save money on premium linens by buying and reselling after the wedding instead of renting. Well I guess there was some misunderstanding since I provided the linens on my own and a bunch of the beautiful linens I bought weren't used so the venue just used basic linens on the cocktail tables, cake table, head table, and cocktail hour tables. If I had just rented them then there definitely wouldn't have been that confusion.

Words of advice, a moment of clarity or moment of craziness that you look back and laugh at now. Don't stress about havin a big crying 'aha' moment when searching for your dress. I didn't have it. At the first appointment I loved a lot of dresses, and one in particular that my mom teared up over. But I wasn't sold since I hadn't cried. We went to 3 other salons to try on dresses and I always loved that one my mom had had a 'moment' over. After thinking it over at home I decided it was the one and I'm still absolutely in love with it! Also, something is going to go wrong. I had a ton of things go wrong throughout the planning process and wedding day. There was a typo on my invitations, I ordered the wrong colored linens, the calligrapher forgot to do return addresses, last minute my cake baker couldn't make the groom's cake topper she was supposed to, corsages fell apart, one of the MUAs didn't show up, the reverend forgot to do the rose ceremony for our moms...etc etc....Seriously you have to just shrug it off and remember all that matters is that you're marrying the man of your dreams. I had one crying breakdown over my invitations after things kept going wrong with them. Other than that I shrugged off everything else that went wrong and I stayed relatively stress free and absolutely LOVED the entire wedding planning process.

Let us know if you need ANY advice, use your knottie friends as resources and sounding boards to help make some decisions (people in your life WILL get sick of hearing you talk wedding 24/7, other brides won't), and enjoy! It's going to go by fast and it's such an exciting fun time in your life!

CleverThought · August 2013

Wow - tough crowd. Seriously ladies, utilize this. When the 2012 brides invaded our board we savored every word and annoyed them questions.

My advice is to splurge on photography. The day goes by SO quickly, there are so many moments that are hazy - although it's just over a month ago. Pictures and perhaps video are really the only momentos that stay with you once the day is done.

As far as what I thought I had to have that was no big deal in the end - I would say I spent a lot of effort finding the perfect programs. They were seriously amazing and I don't regret getting them, but I had SOOOO many left over and I'm sure no one really cared as much as I did about it. So many brides elect to nix them all together - decide what is best for you and future H

Please ask any of us questions! I would love to share insights and photos with you ladies.

Weesh · August 2013

Wow-thank you ladies! This was really helpful, and much appreciated! I will definitely have questions for you

Thanks for sharing your experiences.

bridalgal50 · August 2013

Thanks for sharing, Ladies!

clcacb1001 · August 2013

Thanks so much for sharing! It helps so much!

AmJam04 · August 2013

I only peed once while in my dress, and then-fi helped me do it. HA!

We also went about 20% over budget.

Wedding planners/coordinators are a necessity, but shop around and dont fall in love with one that's over your budget.

I spent way more on postage than anticipated... $1.32 per invitation. Take that into consideration when you choose your invitations: big, odd sized, and heavy invites will all add up quickly at usps.

There are going to be a million things that you'll have to deal with the month leading up to the big day. I loved the entire wedding planning process up until June. Then I hated it.

Love your fb group. The july 13 ladies were incredible to get to know, and they were the few people that I could talk all-wedding with that didn't want to rip their eyes out after 5 mins. I truly don't know if I would have survived without them.

Dream weddings are expensive and come with high expectations. My advice: elope.
yes, I'm being serious.

Ask questions now before we leave! you guys cant possibly know everything already!

avolker1 · August 2013

Also, I spent a lot of time making a detailed timeline for the wedding day and it really wasn't useful because my venue and the dj and photog took care of everything. I really didn't have to plan when the cake cutting or bouquet toss would be; so my advice is to trust the professionals who have been doing this a long time.

KrisMarie123 · August 2013

I love all this advice!! Thanks, ladies!

photokitty · August 2013

Yep - ELOPE

But since you prolly won't...

Consider getting a videographer. You won't remember what you said, he said, the minister said -- you get my point. A video you can relive it all, not just the image.

Make sure you get the photo print rights and high res files of our photos - all of them.

Make a Do NOT Play list.

Photo Booth - so much fun! Guests loved it.

Do a first look before the ceremony - buck tradition! Get the best photos, don't make your guests wait through the dreaded gap, have fun just the two of you that day!

Use postcards for save the dates and RSVP cards - saves a ton on postage!

Remember it's your day, but it's just a day to everyone else - this will help you cope and hopefully prevent Bridezilla appearances ;-)

GL!

Weesh · August 2013

It seems like many of you mentioned that you were grateful for your videographers--thank you! I've been torn about getting one, but I'm thinking that I'll look back and regret not having our ceremony on video. A girl I know from high school just posted on facebook looking to see if anyone videotaped her ceremony or reception and it made me sad.

Anyone get married on the 4th or on that weekend? I'm getting married then, and looking for inexpensive but classic looking decorations for our venue and I'm completely stumped for what to do for the tables, our tables, or in the venue.

Weesh · August 2013

woodschr said:

Hey! Sorry I'm late- we're still on our honeymoon! I got married a month ago today! So far, it's been pretty awesome. It's a little surreal to hear my voice saying "husband" to random people. Here's my answers:

~Something you thought you had to have and realized AFTER it was NBD
That silly "something new, old, blue, ect." rhyme. I started trying to figure it all out, but then it ended up with like five things pinned to the inside of my dress, and that just seemed ridiculous.

~Something you wasted too much $ on/ or not enough $ on
Too much? My sash. I got caught up in the "ohmygodifoundmydress" feeling, and bought a crazy expensive blush satin sash at the salon. When I got it, I realized I could have bought ten rolls of the exact ribbon at Michaels for the cost of the sash. Oh well. Not enough? Nothing that I can think of!

~Words of advice, a moment of clarity or moment of craziness that you look back and laugh at now
Something will go wrong. It just will. You can choose to let it affect your day, or not. My photographer's assistant quit in between the ceremony and the reception, then held her side of the photos hostage (J13 ladies, I'll update you in the group in a bit! It's a good story.)

Also, you are going to get a crash course in etiquette over the next eleven months. It's going to be overwhelming, and you are going to annoy everyone else in your life by sticking to it. Really, the major rule to remember in all this planning is "Would I like this if I was a guest at this wedding?" Don't expect your friends to honestly answer this question for you. I was originally planning on having a traditional head table and separating the bridal party and their SOs. I told my best friend, and she told me that was fine. Then, it occurred to me that they're going to be married in a year or so, and I'll be in the bridal party. Would I like it if DH had to sit somewhere else? No. So, all bridal party and all SOs sat at our head table! When I told her my change in plans, she told me she was so relieved! Of course she was going to tell me she was fine with it, but she really wasn't. And she's my friend who's usually crazy honest! This question can be useful for other things, too. "There's regular chairs instead of chiavari. Would I like this if I was a guest at this wedding?" It probably doesn't matter all that much. "The napkins are unmonogrammed. Would I like this if I was a guest at this wedding?" Do they still remove food? Then it's fine! "There's address labels instead of calligraphy! Would I like this if I was a guest at this wedding?" Okay, who the hell are you inviting- Martha effing Stewart?! Generally, this question will get you on the right side of things as long as you answer it honestly to yourself.

Oh, and final words of wisdom? Yes, people get weird around weddings. Friends will act different. Some members of your families will freak out. Yes, it is them, not you, as long as you've answered the 'would I like this' question honestly. It gets better after the wedding.

Please, ask us questions! It's hard to get bridal brain to go away!

That's what I keep trying to tell myself, and thinking back to weddings I've gone in order to remember what I like, what I don't like, and what I can do to make sure my guests have a great time. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone!

avolker1 · August 2013

Weesh said:
It seems like many of you mentioned that you were grateful for your videographers--thank you! I've been torn about getting one, but I'm thinking that I'll look back and regret not having our ceremony on video. A girl I know from high school just posted on facebook looking to see if anyone videotaped her ceremony or reception and it made me sad.

Anyone get married on the 4th or on that weekend? I'm getting married then, and looking for inexpensive but classic looking decorations for our venue and I'm completely stumped for what to do for the tables, our tables, or in the venue.

I did the flip a hit cameras and for us it worked out well. I asked two good friends of mine if their husband/boyfriend could film the ceremony and they were happy to do it. Then we had little signs on the tables explaining what the flip cams were for, and people actually used them a lot. We wanted to get the highlights like the ceremony and speeches but didnt have room in our budget for a videographer. But I think you need to know your crowd if you go down the flip cam route. It seems other ladies didnt have as much luck with them as I did. I know we aren't going to have some amazing professional video but at least we will have the important parts recorded. We even had people using them at the rehearsal dinner and I had one with me the morning of the wedding while we were getting ready.

AmJam04 · August 2013

Weesh said:

It seems like many of you mentioned that you were grateful for your videographers--thank you! I've been torn about getting one, but I'm thinking that I'll look back and regret not having our ceremony on video. A girl I know from high school just posted on facebook looking to see if anyone videotaped her ceremony or reception and it made me sad.

Anyone get married on the 4th or on that weekend? I'm getting married then, and looking for inexpensive but classic looking decorations for our venue and I'm completely stumped for what to do for the tables, our tables, or in the venue.

I got married on the 6th.
Dont limit yourself to a theme -- especially patriotic.
Use your venue to help you figure out your style. Your colors should compliment theirs, and the general "feel" should also go with. For example, you wouldn't have a chic modern club-style wedding inside of an old barn.

My venue was inspired by the french countryside, with insane vineyard views. The walls were a golden tan color and very intimate. so, our decor became rococo inspired with blush pinks, creams, and pops of silver with ornate crystal accents. here's a pic as an example (sorry if it's huge)

photokitty · August 2013

Weesh

On the other flip side of what @AmJam04 said... I wanted a Patriotic Wedding and did it full force - red, white & blue with a venue that featured the largest fireworks display in the midwest :-) If you want to go patriotic feel free to PM for ideas and suggestions. I incorporated my theme from the favors to the stars the flower girl dropped instead of petals, my dress that had "fireworks" on it to my silver birdcage veil! The 4th is my favorite holiday so it just made sense for me to do it USA & fireworks!!

GL!

LizM61409 · August 2013

Thanks for all the advice!!

Steph1219 · August 2013

Thank you all so much for the advice!! It sure gives me something to think about going forward!

Weesh · August 2013

@AmJam04--wow, that looks beautiful!! I love the colors, they look so romantic. I see what you mean about the venue. Our venue is an Irish golf course, with windows on three sides to see the course and the beautiful views. Here are some pics--there aren't very many strong colors (it looks very neutral) so that's why I decided on navy, white, and cream. I thought of incorporating small amounts of red (maybe in the bouquets or ribbons)

My fiance is in the Air Force, and we chose the 4th because it's the anniversary of the day we met and we love the day. We'll be able to see two sets of fireworks from neighboring towns, so I can't wait!

@photokitty, I would love to see some of your ideas! My mom is worried that if I'm not careful with the read, it's going to look like a Flag Day ceremony.

Thanks for your ideas!

amberj7301 · August 2013

Hi! My wedding is July 2014 and I was just wondering if you could direct me to some photographers in south Jersey, I am having a destination wedding and looking to get a good one, but not very pricey, we are looking to stay around 10k too!

photokitty · August 2013

amberj7301 said:

Hi! My wedding is July 2014 and I was just wondering if you could direct me to some photographers in south Jersey, I am having a destination wedding and looking to get a good one, but not very pricey, we are looking to stay around 10k too!

amberj7301 you should try posting on your local city board. They should be more helpful as this board has girls from all over the world :-)

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