Wedding Pet Peeves

KeptInStitches · August 2013

I think that if you get the right silk flowers (that is, if you invest in the good ones), silk flowers are awesome. That being said, I'm allergic to a lot of real flowers so silk's the way to go for me generally.

soontobehanby · August 2013

@KeptInStiches Same here. I am so allergic to flowers. We had silks in the bouquets and then no flowers anywhere else. I don't understand why people think silks are so tacky. Good ones cost just as much or more than real flowers. Color me confused.

MairePoppy · August 2013

itzMS said:

I've always disliked brides so set on an outdoor ceremony that they never take into account the comfort of the guests, or the importance of a reliable sound system
Nothing beats sitting outside on a 50 degree windy day and not even being able to hear the ceremony. Ugghh.

^^THIS 100 times^^

Our friends' son and his wife were married on a rainy October day, in a large park with several themed gardens. We had trouble figuring out which garden was the Japanese garden because no map or directions were provided and in October, there is one theme outdoors = Autumn. We determined we were in the right place, only by recognizing familiar faces. The bride, considerate soul that she was, holed up in a local bar with her bms because she didn't want to get her dress wet. The rain didn't stop, most of the guests waited in their cars until they could proceed to the wedding reception. We would have gone home, but we love the groom's parents and knew they were already embarrassed.

Same parents as above, two years later, their daughter had an October wedding at a lovely old tavern/inn/stable. The invitation stated 'Outdoor ceremony, weather permitting.' It was a sparkling, picture perfect autumn day. Unfortunately, it was also breezy and 45 - 50 degrees out there.The bride wanted those outdoor pictures, still. Fortunately, I went prepared with my winter coat to that one. I was the envy of the other ladies who wore cocktail dresses and pretty wraps.

Providing shelter for your guests is a very basic courtesy. I wish all brides would just use common sense.

MsLisa30 · August 2013

I can't stand when a wedding is very late. I've been to three weddings that started more than an hour late. I also hate when people walk in while the wedding party is walking down the aisle. So disrespectful. I also can't stand uncontrollable children running around during the ceremony.

MissMWood · August 2013

Wedding Fundraisers! That shit wouldn't fly in Australia!

RebeccaB88 · August 2013

Screaming infants/children with parents who haven't the sense to take them out of the room. I know babies cry, that's their job, but in my experience, too many parents don't want to miss the ceremony, and therefore, let the baby scream. In fact, the last 3 weddings I've been to had a child who cried throughout the entire ceremony and was never removed. For me, it ruins the experience. If you don't want to risk missing the ceremony, leave the kid at home.

And the usual...lack of seating, not enough/appropriate food, not being able to hear the vows, begging for money, general lack of consideration for guests comfort.

Ven&Radio · August 2013

RebeccaB88 said:

Screaming infants/children with parents who haven't the sense to take them out of the room. I know babies cry, that's their job, but in my experience, too many parents don't want to miss the ceremony, and therefore, let the baby scream. In fact, the last 3 weddings I've been to had a child who cried throughout the entire ceremony and was never removed. For me, it ruins the experience. If you don't want to risk missing the ceremony, leave the kid at home.

And the usual...lack of seating, not enough/appropriate food, not being able to hear the vows, begging for money, general lack of consideration for guests comfort.

This -- except, it annoys me everyplace. If your child is acting up, part of parenting is dealing with it, privately. I've watched two parents in a grocery store with a child throwing a fit, one parent asks the other to take the child out to the car, and the second parent pouts and refuses becuase they don't want to have to go sit in the car. Sigh. I'm a little scared of what the world is going to look like in 20 years or so when all these children being raised by children reach adulthood.

mysticl · August 2013

itzMS said:

I've always disliked brides so set on an outdoor ceremony that they never take into account the comfort of the guests, or the importance of a reliable sound system
Nothing beats sitting outside on a 50 degree windy day and not even being able to hear the ceremony. Ugghh.

Or being outside on a 90+degree day and the ceremony starts late.

When the cocktail hour is in a different room than dinner but there is only room for 12 people to sit down. Everyone else is standing at the bar or wedged in between the 3 tables.

When everyone stands for the bride to come down the aisle but the officiant forgets the magic words of "please be seated" and so the parents stay standing causing everyone else to stand if they want to try to see anything.

grumbledore · August 2013

Not starting on time is the biggest one. You plan a wedding for MONTHS. Be the fuck on time.

Any request for money, including cash bars, are a close second.

After that, I don't like the garter and bouquet tosses. I also hate djs that play those choreographed dances - the chicken dance, the electric slide, etc. Ew.

And obviously PPDs. So cringe-worthy. I don't even like hearing about them when people I don't know and never will are having one.

ceebs87 · August 2013

I hate having a long walk between ceremony and reception like at a botanical garden. They should make sure that there is a proper path for guest walking around in nice shoes outside, especially if they have to have their wedding so far away from the reception cite. And definitely the couple should consider how hot the weather will be for an outdoor event. They should sacrifice the summer wedding for cooler weather.

KytchynWitche · August 2013

home-printed invitations sent out in brown billing envelopes
yes, this really happened, i kid you not.

also, time-wasting brides (whether it be arriving late, extending the cocktail hour to squeeze in more photos, whatever)
and drunk bridal parties - you're nervous, we get it, but it is NOT classy to do shots during your speeches...
guests having to pay for ANYTHING

i'm sure i have more, but these are the big ones

kefryar · August 2013

People who request that you wear "their colors" or theme to their wedding.

One of my friends was invited to a wedding where the invite specified that they (the wedding guests, not the bridal party) wear the wedding colors consisting of pale green, pink, tan, or gray. I understand that it might look nice in photos, but are you really expecting your GUESTS to go buy clothes just to come to your wedding?

Also, people who freak out about what their guests wear to the wedding period. I understand not wearing white, but I think that red and black are completely acceptable, especially in the winter. Come on guys, someone could show up in a floor length white dress and still not upstage the bride, unless said guest decides to walk down the aisle (in which case it's time to kick said guest out). It's still your day.

rgilman91 · August 2013

This past weekend, my Fiance and I attended his cousin's wedding and it was...interesting to say the least. They got engaged at the groom's aunt's cabin which is in the middle of no where in Idaho so they decided to have their ceremony there. It was a loooong drive. We had to park on a dirt road and then walk a half mile to the ceremony. Older family members, like my Fiances grandparents, had such a hard time walking that far. There was no sound system at the ceremony so we couldn't hear a word that was said. The ceremony was supposed to start at 5pm, but when we showed up at 4:40pm, they were already half way through their vows. The reception site was a half hour drive from the ceremony site. There was very little parking at the reception site and the reception site was way too small for the amount of people invited. The bride and groom didn't show up to the reception until 2 hours later (even though they had taken pictures earlier). Dinner was supposed to be served at 6pm and wasn't served until the bride and groom showed up at 8pm. The DJ was awful! I understand that we all want the wedding of our dreams, but we also need to keep our guests in mind and be at least somewhat practical.

FutureMrsN3312 · August 2013

We went to a wedding this weekend too. We got there a few mins after the ceremony was supposed to start (stupid shore traffic) and there were 10 of us that had to stand. Thankfully the ceremony was only 30 mins. (I just checked the venues website and it says it seats up to 250 for a ceremony. There was about 200 people. Not sure why there weren't enough seats)

We then move on to cocktail hour and I'm thinking "ugh been standing in these heels for over a half hour can't wait to sit down" WRONG. Cocktail hour consisted of plenty of food but only a few high top tables and no seats. I also see on the website that they claim to serve "top shelf" alcohol with all weddings. We weren't able to get any when ordering drinks. Not a huge deal. Maybe the B&G decided against it? I'm just hoping they didn't pay for this "top shelf" and not get it.

kahaywa · August 2013

I don't mind the dollar dance thing (in my circle the $ is completely optional). If your have a large reception it can be hard to see/talk to everyone, and it insures that people who really want to can get a dance with the bride/groom that otherwise wouldn't get to. What I can't stand is when there are 50 million readings during the ceremony. I went to a wedding this spring that the ceremony was TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG! I kid you not! I swear every one of the brides cousins/friends had to come up and read for a good 5-10 min each. They even included a poem that the bride wrote in 5th grade about her kitten who died. *facepalm*

melbelleup · August 2013

itzMS said:

I've always disliked brides so set on an outdoor ceremony that they never take into account the comfort of the guests, or the importance of a reliable sound system
Nothing beats sitting outside on a 50 degree windy day and not even being able to hear the ceremony. Ugghh.

This is mine, but not enough seats, hot and humid and can't hear or see.... grrrr

dbanana · August 2013

MairePoppy said:

itzMS said:

I've always disliked brides so set on an outdoor ceremony that they never take into account the comfort of the guests, or the importance of a reliable sound system
Nothing beats sitting outside on a 50 degree windy day and not even being able to hear the ceremony. Ugghh.

^^THIS 100 times^^

Our friends' son and his wife were married on a rainy October day, in a large park with several themed gardens. We had trouble figuring out which garden was the Japanese garden because no map or directions were provided and in October, there is one theme outdoors = Autumn. We determined we were in the right place, only by recognizing familiar faces. The bride, considerate soul that she was, holed up in a local bar with her bms because she didn't want to get her dress wet. The rain didn't stop, most of the guests waited in their cars until they could proceed to the wedding reception. We would have gone home, but we love the groom's parents and knew they were already embarrassed.

Same parents as above, two years later, their daughter had an October wedding at a lovely old tavern/inn/stable. The invitation stated 'Outdoor ceremony, weather permitting.' It was a sparkling, picture perfect autumn day. Unfortunately, it was also breezy and 45 - 50 degrees out there.The bride wanted those outdoor pictures, still. Fortunately, I went prepared with my winter coat to that one. I was the envy of the other ladies who wore cocktail dresses and pretty wraps.

Providing shelter for your guests is a very basic courtesy. I wish all brides would just use common sense.

Oh October weddings... I'm an October bride and I don't know where you are from, but it gets freakin' cold here! Or sometimes it's very hot. Most of the time it's just windy on the lake. Anyway, our reception venue does outdoor ceremonies on the lawn - very beautiful, it's literally a marina. However, there is going to be a wedding on the lawn at the exact time my reception starts. Are you joking? I won't lie, I'm a little mad that now my guests will have a harder time parking (there is plenty of parking, just not plenty of awesome parking), but I'm having a hard time thinking about where this bride is coming from - you want to get married outdoors, on the lake, in the middle of October, in northern Ohio?!

Anyway, I'm peeved about a lot of things wedding related, most notably that I continue to get computer printed invitations from a printer that needs the ink replaced... Oh, but the card that says where they are registered is printed just fine.

southernbelle0915 · August 2013

1) The garter hunt and toss. It's such a gross, imposing, and inappropriate tradition.

2) Poems. I always feel like I'm in preschool when I read these and I never think they're "cute." Ever.

3) Choreographed dances. They always seem really staged and like no one is actually enjoying themselves.

4) When guests are asked to take out their wallets. Whether it's the dollar dance, a honeymoon jar, a fundraiser, or a cash bar... it's like, "of course I wish you well and if I want to give you money, I will. But please, please stop asking me for money and/or to host myself."

gmcr78 · August 2013

Most have been covered here, but I hate the bouquet toss, garter toss, and all the "special" dances. My fi and I are doing our first dance, that's it.

I hate long speeches.

I hate outdoor weddings when it's hot. It's the worst when you get all dressed up and then end up sweating to death, praying that you don't have sweat marks on your butt when you get up from the ceremony. I'd rather it be a tiny bit chilly-at least then I can do something about it (coat, wrap, etc).

ETA: dollar dances. I LOATHE them.

I must be in the minority, b/c I usually don't mind gaps, as long as they're not completely excessive (like more than 2 hours). Usually we're able to find a place to chill out and grab a drink or a bite, or go home and feed the dog. It gives me a chance to touch up after I've been sweating at the 90 degree outdoor ceremony.

tdunnette · August 2013

I have a question. Where I am, the host is liable if a guest drinks and drives. We don't want to have a full cash bar, and have the option of a "toonie bar" (toonie is a $2 Canadian coin..). A toonie bar removes liability from the hosts, and that is literally the only reason we would do it. Cost is not an issue, as my fiance's parents already said they would pay for the bar. Would you consider that tacky?

psychbabe314 · August 2013

tdunnette said:

I have a question. Where I am, the host is liable if a guest drinks and drives. We don't want to have a full cash bar, and have the option of a "toonie bar" (toonie is a $2 Canadian coin..). A toonie bar removes liability from the hosts, and that is literally the only reason we would do it. Cost is not an issue, as my fiance's parents already said they would pay for the bar. Would you consider that tacky?

Geez, that seems like a tough one. I'm not familiar with all of the etiquette for weddings, but it does seem as if cash bars are frowned upon. But, I understand where you are coming from too. Some other people should chime in and putting this on the etiquette board would probably be better, but would it be possible for you to essentially pre-pay? For example, give the bartender cash to grab from as drinks are bought. That way, you are giving people the money to your guests to buy drinks but they are the ones purchasing the drinks.

Also, I looked up the liability issues and it appears as if, in California at least, this only applies to minors. Did you double check to see if it is similar in your area too, that minors are the only ones you can get in trouble for?

psychbabe314 · August 2013

tdunnette said:

I have a question. Where I am, the host is liable if a guest drinks and drives. We don't want to have a full cash bar, and have the option of a "toonie bar" (toonie is a $2 Canadian coin..). A toonie bar removes liability from the hosts, and that is literally the only reason we would do it. Cost is not an issue, as my fiance's parents already said they would pay for the bar. Would you consider that tacky?

Geez, that seems like a tough one. I'm not familiar with all of the etiquette for weddings, but it does seem as if cash bars are frowned upon. But, I understand where you are coming from too. Some other people should chime in and putting this on the etiquette board would probably be better, but would it be possible for you to essentially pre-pay? For example, give the bartender cash to grab from as drinks are bought. That way, you are giving people the money to your guests to buy drinks but they are the ones purchasing the drinks.

Also, I looked up the liability issues and it appears as if, in California at least, this only applies to minors. Did you double check to see if it is similar in your area too, that minors are the only ones you can get in trouble for?

MairePoppy · August 2013

dbanana said:

MairePoppy said:

itzMS said:

I've always disliked brides so set on an outdoor ceremony that they never take into account the comfort of the guests, or the importance of a reliable sound system
Nothing beats sitting outside on a 50 degree windy day and not even being able to hear the ceremony. Ugghh.

^^THIS 100 times^^

Our friends' son and his wife were married on a rainy October day, in a large park with several themed gardens. We had trouble figuring out which garden was the Japanese garden because no map or directions were provided and in October, there is one theme outdoors = Autumn. We determined we were in the right place, only by recognizing familiar faces. The bride, considerate soul that she was, holed up in a local bar with her bms because she didn't want to get her dress wet. The rain didn't stop, most of the guests waited in their cars until they could proceed to the wedding reception. We would have gone home, but we love the groom's parents and knew they were already embarrassed.

Same parents as above, two years later, their daughter had an October wedding at a lovely old tavern/inn/stable. The invitation stated 'Outdoor ceremony, weather permitting.' It was a sparkling, picture perfect autumn day. Unfortunately, it was also breezy and 45 - 50 degrees out there.The bride wanted those outdoor pictures, still. Fortunately, I went prepared with my winter coat to that one. I was the envy of the other ladies who wore cocktail dresses and pretty wraps.

Providing shelter for your guests is a very basic courtesy. I wish all brides would just use common sense.

Oh October weddings... I'm an October bride and I don't know where you are from, but it gets freakin' cold here! Or sometimes it's very hot. Most of the time it's just windy on the lake. Anyway, our reception venue does outdoor ceremonies on the lawn - very beautiful, it's literally a marina. However, there is going to be a wedding on the lawn at the exact time my reception starts. Are you joking? I won't lie, I'm a little mad that now my guests will have a harder time parking (there is plenty of parking, just not plenty of awesome parking), but I'm having a hard time thinking about where this bride is coming from - you want to get married outdoors, on the lake, in the middle of October, in northern Ohio?!

Anyway, I'm peeved about a lot of things wedding related, most notably that I continue to get computer printed invitations from a printer that needs the ink replaced... Oh, but the card that says where they are registered is printed just fine.

I live in CT. When my daughter told me she wanted an October wedding, I thought, 'here we go again!' She picked a date that was the one year anniversary of a freak snowstorm, Oct. 28, that dumped 3 feet of snow on our beautiful, full canopy of fall foliage, which toppled trees and resulted in a 2 week long power outage. She and her fi figured the chances were slim to none that we'd have another weather disaster on the same date. WRONG. They were married during Hurricane Sandy. Many of the groom's family members had flown here from the west coast and were stuck here. Fortunately, she was married in a city with hotels within walking distance from the wedding. They picked out their signature cocktail, Hurricanes, months before the wedding. But the guests thought the reception venue made the drinks in honor of the Sandy.

psychbabe314 · August 2013

@MairePoppy, that is cute! Should have knocked on wood! lol :-) Glad everyone was okay though!

Simply Fated · August 2013

MairePoppy said:

dbanana said:

MairePoppy said:

itzMS said:

I've always disliked brides so set on an outdoor ceremony that they never take into account the comfort of the guests, or the importance of a reliable sound system
Nothing beats sitting outside on a 50 degree windy day and not even being able to hear the ceremony. Ugghh.

^^THIS 100 times^^

Our friends' son and his wife were married on a rainy October day, in a large park with several themed gardens. We had trouble figuring out which garden was the Japanese garden because no map or directions were provided and in October, there is one theme outdoors = Autumn. We determined we were in the right place, only by recognizing familiar faces. The bride, considerate soul that she was, holed up in a local bar with her bms because she didn't want to get her dress wet. The rain didn't stop, most of the guests waited in their cars until they could proceed to the wedding reception. We would have gone home, but we love the groom's parents and knew they were already embarrassed.

Same parents as above, two years later, their daughter had an October wedding at a lovely old tavern/inn/stable. The invitation stated 'Outdoor ceremony, weather permitting.' It was a sparkling, picture perfect autumn day. Unfortunately, it was also breezy and 45 - 50 degrees out there.The bride wanted those outdoor pictures, still. Fortunately, I went prepared with my winter coat to that one. I was the envy of the other ladies who wore cocktail dresses and pretty wraps.

Providing shelter for your guests is a very basic courtesy. I wish all brides would just use common sense.

Oh October weddings... I'm an October bride and I don't know where you are from, but it gets freakin' cold here! Or sometimes it's very hot. Most of the time it's just windy on the lake. Anyway, our reception venue does outdoor ceremonies on the lawn - very beautiful, it's literally a marina. However, there is going to be a wedding on the lawn at the exact time my reception starts. Are you joking? I won't lie, I'm a little mad that now my guests will have a harder time parking (there is plenty of parking, just not plenty of awesome parking), but I'm having a hard time thinking about where this bride is coming from - you want to get married outdoors, on the lake, in the middle of October, in northern Ohio?!

Anyway, I'm peeved about a lot of things wedding related, most notably that I continue to get computer printed invitations from a printer that needs the ink replaced... Oh, but the card that says where they are registered is printed just fine.

I live in CT. When my daughter told me she wanted an October wedding, I thought, 'here we go again!' She picked a date that was the one year anniversary of a freak snowstorm, Oct. 28, that dumped 3 feet of snow on our beautiful, full canopy of fall foliage, which toppled trees and resulted in a 2 week long power outage. She and her fi figured the chances were slim to none that we'd have another weather disaster on the same date. WRONG. They were married during Hurricane Sandy. Many of the groom's family members had flown here from the west coast and were stuck here. Fortunately, she was married in a city with hotels within walking distance from the wedding. They picked out their signature cocktail, Hurricanes, months before the wedding. But the guests thought the reception venue made the drinks in honor of the Sandy.

What a horribly unfortunate coincidence!

baldridgea2 · August 2013

Cursing in reception music always leaves a bad taste in my mouth! Come on people, stay classy..its a wedding!

baldridgea2 · August 2013

Also, I still can't stand when people wear white to a wedding. I recently went to a wedding where the bride wore a beautiful lace gown. I look over and her Aunt is also wearing a lace dress, in white, along with about 5 other women! I feel like this is one day that guests can find a different color to wear. Am I just old-fashioned or does anyone else feel this way?
Also, never-ending speeches are painful. Especially the ones where they go on for what seems to be days, and the microphone just keeps getting passed around. I wanna dance at a wedding, not listen to the bride's cousin's best friend who knew the bride in fifth grade..yikes!

KateJ16 · August 2013

@muppetoverlord - Geez! Do you have pics or anything from that? I can't believe that anyone in their right mind would do some of those things!!

APDSS22 · August 2013

baldridgea2 said:

Also, I still can't stand when people wear white to a wedding. I recently went to a wedding where the bride wore a beautiful lace gown. I look over and her Aunt is also wearing a lace dress, in white, along with about 5 other women! I feel like this is one day that guests can find a different color to wear. Am I just old-fashioned or does anyone else feel this way?
Also, never-ending speeches are painful. Especially the ones where they go on for what seems to be days, and the microphone just keeps getting passed around. I wanna dance at a wedding, not listen to the bride's cousin's best friend who knew the bride in fifth grade..yikes!

I always judge when I see people in white at weddings. And I will gossip shamelessly about it to other guests when it (inevitably) comes up in conversation. You can't tell me your whole closet exploded an hour before the wedding and the white dress in the back of your closet was the only thing you had to wear other than your bathrobe.

MairePoppy · August 2013

@MuppetOverlord - Did you laugh when the bride started singing?

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