Why Are Most Of Ya'll So Negative!!!!

buddysmom80 · August 2013

@buddysmom80 Its cool if you dont encourage 'pre planning'. Just dont try to make other people feel stupid for wanting to! There is always a better way to say things! Dont call them dumb or stupid, thats rude as hell. Name calling or rude/nasty behavior over a simple pre planning post? thats just crazy!

I didn't call you dumb, stupid, rude/nasty, etc. at all. You want puppies and rainbows blown up your ass go to Weddingbee. They love to pre plan. Hell, instead of spending time with your BF and kid, work on your centerpieces because that's a GREAT relationship builder. ETA: Spelling error.

bethsmiles · August 2013

prettybrown27 said:

@buddysmom80 Its cool if you dont encourage 'pre planning'. Just dont try to make other people feel stupid for wanting to! There is always a better way to say things! Dont call them dumb or stupid, thats rude as hell. Name calling or rude/nasty behavior over a simple pre planning post? thats just crazy!

You're the only one I've seen name calling and being rude/nasty.

We don't encourage pre-planning because its a damned good way to cause issues in your relationship and honestly you miss out a lot of the now when you are constantly thinking about the future.

buddysmom80 · August 2013

prettybrown27 said:

@buddysmom80 Its cool if you dont encourage 'pre planning'. Just dont try to make other people feel stupid for wanting to! There is always a better way to say things! Dont call them dumb or stupid, thats rude as hell. Name calling or rude/nasty behavior over a simple pre planning post? thats just crazy!

You're the only one I've seen name calling and being rude/nasty.

We don't encourage pre-planning because its a damned good way to cause issues in your relationship and honestly you miss out a lot of the now when you are constantly thinking about the future.

I think she just wants us to validate her choices because it seems like no one else is...I'm not doing it though!!!

prettybrown27 · August 2013

@bethsmiles Im probably younger than you, but I'm not a child. People were rude to me (whether you seen it or not). I didn't throw a tantrum i was simply stating how i felt about what was being said to me! The post wasn't meant to solve any problem, the post was to ask why are some of ya'll being rude, not just to me, but to the people who want to pre plan! If you were not mean/rude to me or anybody else wanting to pre plan, then this post wasn't for you! I don't see how everyone is missing that!

buddysmom80 · August 2013

@bethsmiles Im probably younger than you, but I'm not a child. People were rude to me (whether you seen it or not). I didn't throw a tantrum i was simply stating how i felt about what was being said to me! The post wasn't meant to solve any problem, the post was to ask why are some of ya'll being rude, not just to me, but to the people who want to pre plan! If you were not mean/rude to me or anybody else wanting to pre plan, then this post wasn't for you! I don't see how everyone is missing that!

No one on this board encourages pre-planning. You sound like a spoiled brat who has to have it her way. Good luck with that. You should read the thread on this board that's entitled "New Here? Read This First!" It'll answer a lot of questions for you. Obviously you didn't.

prettybrown27 · August 2013

We don't encourage pre-planning because its a damned good way to cause issues in your relationship and honestly you miss out a lot of the now when you are constantly thinking about the future

@bethsmiles you are right, thank you!

bethsmiles · August 2013

prettybrown27 said:

@bethsmiles Im probably younger than you, but I'm not a child. People were rude to me (whether you seen it or not). I didn't throw a tantrum i was simply stating how i felt about what was being said to me! The post wasn't meant to solve any problem, the post was to ask why are some of ya'll being rude, not just to me, but to the people who want to pre plan! If you were not mean/rude to me or anybody else wanting to pre plan, then this post wasn't for you! I don't see how everyone is missing that!

Actually I'm 23 so probably not. But that's not really the point.

I get that you think the woman on this board are rude. Guess what we don't agree. It's why so many of us have stuck around. To get awesome advice from a group of women with various ranges of life experiences.

And I don't care if this post wasn't for me, you meant it for women I happen to care very much about. These women are my friends and I'm not going to just stand by while you attack them because you can't handle someone not validating your ideas. If you're too sensitive to handle people disagreeing with you I highly suggest getting off the internet. We aren't here to baby you, blow rainbows up your ass, or pat you on the head. So either take our advice or don't but don't act like a brat and stomp your foot claiming everyone is just too mean.

CLoGreenEyes · August 2013

@prettybrown27, we all come to here to ask questions. When you ask questions, you get advice. When you get advice, you choose to take it or not take it. REGARDLESS of what you do with it, you THANK the people who took time and effort to give your their thoughts. Which you ASKED for. And then you consider it carefully. And then you do what you think is best with the information you now have.

I recently posted about a situation in my own life, which you and a few others responded to. Your response was to go with my gut and everything would work out great. Everyone else gave me some great advice and things to consider. I appreciate your encouragement, but I posted specifically asking for outside perspectives because I actually don't know everything. Neither does anybody else. Neither do you. So that's why, when you ask for advice, you may get some answers you don't expect. That doesn't make any less valid or worth your consideration, and it certainly doesn't deserve the responses you gave.

Everyone here has seen pre-planning go horribly wrong. That's why we're encouraging you to stay away from it and just enjoy your relationship as it is. No one was "rude" to you in your post; perhaps blunt, but not rude. We are actually looking out for you and trying to give you some perspective on something we have seen over and over again. I wish you would remember that before calling people out this way.

prettybrown27 · August 2013

@amapola14 thank you.

minskat30 · August 2013

I agree with some of the PP...if you think a specific instance of someone replying to you was rude (before you got on your high horse and decided to be rude to us (you might have thought you were being rude to just the people who irked you but that is not how your post came accross)), you should have addressed them specifically and calmly. I was offended by your post telling me (as a married woman) that I shouldn't be posting here because I'm married. I certainly didn't post anything rude to you and yet you were rude to me. See how that works?

These ladies are nice, honest and forthright...if you can't handle that, you are in for a lot of disappointment in life.

GoldenPenguin · August 2013

prettybrown27 said:

I NEVER said the people who arent married are crazy with cats. i said some/most of y'all are crazy with cats. And I NEVER that my post wasn't rude, I know it was rude. The post was for the people who go on other peoples post saying mean/hurtful/rude things. Your missing the point!

*you're

Click to control gif: http://gifctrl.com/Un

loves2shop4shoes · August 2013

Ok, princess. I'll break it down for you...really carefully. We've already discussed that English language, grammar, and writing is not your strong suit. I'll even break apart and number the sentences, so your tiny mind doesn't explode. In your OP, titled, "Why Are Most of Ya'll So Negative!!!" you wrote:

1. I don't understand how some of ya'll sit here behind a computer or cell phone and are seriously talking down to people.

As an opening sentence, this is automatically accusatory and putting people on the defensive. Also, the title says "most", this sentence says "some"...which is it?

2. Some of ya'll have been members since 2009 and come to the "Not Engaged Yet" discussion board just to tell people that they should be planning, or even think about wedding plans.

This sentence suggests that some of us have had nothing better to do with the last FOUR YEARS of our lives than to come to an online message board just to bully people. How could you possibly understand the motivations of someone sticking around this message board for 4 years, when you've been here about 5 minutes?

3. Some of ya'll ar just about the rudest f****n people i've ever seen.

Rude. If there's only one rude f****ng person here, I counter that it's the person who has come to our message board, only to post, dislike others opinions, and then call them names and swear at them.

4. Half of yall are already married and still talking s**t to people. You're married already! Go to "The Nest" stop tryna to rain on other people parade all the damn time.

What does our being married have to do with anything? You're not married (and I don't wonder WHY!) and talking shit. These sentences also suggest that when you get married, you no longer have the right to be here. Hogwash.

5. Then its some of yall who are just lonely as hell with a million cats living with you.

You're making broad statements based on zero evidence. How do you, who has been here five minutes, know if any of us have pets at all, much less a million cats? Making untrue broad generalizations just further exemplifies your immaturity.

6. None and i mean None of ya'll ever have anything nice to say to people who arent engaged yet.

This sentence was probably what got most people so riled up. You said NONE of us EVER have anything nice to say to people who are NEY. So, first it's most. Then it's some. Then it's all. Broad, sweeping, unfair generalizations. Also, I'm aware that you're not so great with the written word. If you're confused about the difference between "some", "most", and "all" (which is the opposite of none), I recommend dictionary.com.

7. If people want to wait 3 to 8 years to get married, then thats on them, but dont try to make other people feel bad for wanting to pre plan, or have ideas.

That's the first opinion you've stated in your OP that genuinely expresses how you feel without attacking.

8. Everybody doesnt have a money tree in their back yard. Some of us have to actually work for their money, and the first thing ya'll say is "you dont know what can happen in (insert number here) years".

The implication here is that we DO have a money tree and DON'T have to work for our money? Um, I've been around NEY for 3 years. I can tell you that the OVERWHELMING majority (like over 95%) have to work very, very hard to pay our bills. I paid for my OWN wedding. I don't know a single girl on this board who's sitting on a pile of money and never needs to work.

And saying, "You don't know what can happen in X years," is just good advice. I got royally screwed with the financials of my wedding, and I found out after my wedding planning started. I had to start the planning completely over. Also, I know people who have had medical bills that got in the way of their ability to pay for their wedding. Job loss is also another unforeseeable problem that can get in the way of someone's ability to pay for her wedding.

9. Its just a bunch of negative ass people on this f****n website!"

Does that make you the poster child? Why don't you leave?

Why Are Most Of Ya'll So Negative!!!!

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