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Some people on here are pretty mean :(

I love the knot.  Love it!  I really like that I can post on the wedding boards and talk to other brides who are right there alongside me, planning our dream weddings.  I love that I can share ideas with the planners and ask questions of the brides who are now wives.  I've come across a lot of wonderful, sweet, caring and nice brides who have helped me out a lot.

What I have also encoutered though is a good bunch of people who write nasty comments on things and blatantly bash ideas that I and other brides think are great.  I wish these people would realize we are all people, with feelings.  Hiding behind a computer screen typing hurtful words and storming on people's days is not what these boards are for.  Before you type, please ask yourself if you would say this to the stranger sitting next to you who is asking for your help  :(
melbelleupCokezerofreakdoeydoFutureMrsSmithTorresvainemerald[Deleted User]scmurphy2010saseblon73[Deleted User]
«1345

Re: Some people on here are pretty mean :(

  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Examples, please?



    Chan245MairePoppysimplykaylabuddysmom80
  • Chan245 said:
    I love the knot.  Love it!  I really like that I can post on the wedding boards and talk to other brides who are right there alongside me, planning our dream weddings.  I love that I can share ideas with the planners and ask questions of the brides who are now wives.  I've come across a lot of wonderful, sweet, caring and nice brides who have helped me out a lot.

    What I have also encoutered though is a good bunch of people who write nasty comments on things and blatantly bash ideas that I and other brides think are great.  I wish these people would realize we are all people, with feelings.  Hiding behind a computer screen typing hurtful words and storming on people's days is not what these boards are for.  Before you type, please ask yourself if you would say this to the stranger sitting next to you who is asking for your help  :(
    I find your post to be very passive aggressive. Who are you talking about? I would love a reference of said "nasty comments". What are these ideas you think are so great that other people bash?


    NYCMercedesLiatris2010PrettyGirlLost
  • I read a post about a bride whose mother just passed away and who wanted to incorporate her mom into her ceremony by either lighting a candle and having her sister walk down the isle with it instead of a bouquet or having an empty seat up front and asked an opinion on which one.  A lot of people (at least 8) wrote how morbid it is to call attention to such a depressing subject and how it is a bait and switch for what should be a wonderful and joyous day.  I was shocked at the lack of compassion :(
    Cokezerofreaksaseblon73
  • Chan245Chan245 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited August 2013

    Swazzle said:
    Examples, please?
    That's a really pretty picture!  Where did you get married?
  • Chan245 said:
    I read a post about a bride whose mother just passed away and who wanted to incorporate her mom into her ceremony by either lighting a candle and having her sister walk down the isle with it instead of a bouquet or having an empty seat up front and asked an opinion on which one.  A lot of people (at least 8) wrote how morbid it is to call attention to such a depressing subject and how it is a bait and switch for what should be a wonderful and joyous day.  I was shocked at the lack of compassion :(
    So just because you don't agree with those posters they are mean and lack compassion, and you need to start a whole new thread to tell people how they should post online? Did you respond to that thread and say that you felt that they were being mean? Or did you just come over here to talk crap about them?



    [Deleted User]Liatris2010
  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    @Chan245 - While it's very sad that the bride's mother passed away especially so close to her wedding, I have to agree with the advice given. Subtlety is key in situations like that. A wedding is supposed to be a happy event, not one where everyone is sobbing out of sadness. 

    Thank you for your compliment. I got married at Valenzano Winery in NJ. 



    PrettyGirlLost
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    @aliciaharrison - What a lovely way to remember your aunt!
    PrettyGirlLost
  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2013
    Chan245 said:
    I love the knot.  Love it!  I really like that I can post on the wedding boards and talk to other brides who are right there alongside me, planning our dream weddings.  I love that I can share ideas with the planners and ask questions of the brides who are now wives.  I've come across a lot of wonderful, sweet, caring and nice brides who have helped me out a lot.

    What I have also encoutered though is a good bunch of people who write nasty comments on things and blatantly bash ideas that I and other brides think are great.  I wish these people would realize we are all people, with feelings.  Hiding behind a computer screen typing hurtful words and storming on people's days is not what these boards are for.  Before you type, please ask yourself if you would say this to the stranger sitting next to you who is asking for your help  :(

    You're right, some knotties can be harsh. But there are a few things you should understand: First of all, because we don't know each other and are reading things typed by strangers, everything is open to perception. Sure, something things are obviously bitchy. Sometimes, though, you might interpret an attitude from a poster who's just trying to be honest. Secondly, a lot of people on here are regulars. Do you have any idea how many times they've told someone that it's bad etiquette to have a tiered reception, ask guests for money, etc.? A lot. Third, remember that people are going to offer unsolicited advice whether you want it or not. You may ask about X, but people will give you their opinions on Y anyway, because by posting on here, you've made it their business. That's just the way it is. 

    Lastly, we're not the wedding police. No one is going to show up at your wedding and handcuff you because you didn't take our advice. Most of it's good advice, but as far as preferences go (i.e., adding humor into your vows, choosing to have an adult-only ceremony & reception, etc.), it's ultimately up to you (as long as you practice good etiquette while doing so). 

    ETA: Tryin' to get out of the QB & typo. 
    image
    CLoGreenEyesPrettyGirlLost
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited August 2013
    @Ajuliana I thought the mean people were burned at the stake last month. Did they miss some?
                       
    AjulianaPrettyGirlLost[Deleted User]SlothGoals
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I have a few suspicions.
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    As always, the originals are always the best.  Often imitated...never duplicated!

    image

    MairePoppy
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    imageI have a question.  Can we form another secret society devoted to predicting the secret mods?  We could offer prizes and rewards for most posters picked!
    MairePoppymrskaiser22
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited August 2013
    @mobkaz I knew you'd be familiar with The Mod Squad. 

    I think everyone would guess the same few people, don't you? 




                       
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
  • @nsweare

    Not really. I've never seen a question addressed to the oldies of the forum . ( Except when they talk to eachother :)  )

    "Oldies" as opposite to the "newbies" in this:  "Newbies often get SUPER offended when someone disagrees or poo poos their idea - people aren't rude, they just don't agree." by southernbelle


    PrettyGirlLost
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