Cheap Wedding Gifts

JeeGooDowster · August 2013

PMeg819 · August 2013

You are being incredibly petty and you sound ridiculous.

JeeGooDowster · August 2013

Thank you for your response. Before you start judging, I am Asian, and in the Asian Culture, the tradition is to give money as gifts in a wedding. There are guests who didn't give anything and my only issue with my two cousins. This is a family matter and I am asking advice for this.

VarunaTT · August 2013

carynNchan said:

Hey all, I recently got married and finally was able to open all of our gifts. While I am grateful for everything and all of my guests were generous, I can't help but notice a few that were a bit on the cheap side.

While I am not saying that people should pay for their plate (I had it at an expensive venue - and I am far from expecting my guests to cover it, I truly am happy that everyone was there to share my happy day with my husband), I do feel that people should give appropriately (if not cash, then a gift)

Two of my cousins gave one cash gift and they brought their boyfriend and girlfriend. While it was nice, I kind of questioned it because it was 2 weeks late and it was a total of $100.00 for 4 people.

I know some people are going to respond that I am being greedy but I can't help but take that as a pretty big insult. This is family here (one of my friends did that as well, she even brought her boyfriend even though he didn't get an invite, but I'll let it slide...shady move still!) To tell you the truth, they were better off not giving anything at all.

My mom is pretty angry and she wants to tell their grandmother but I told her just to keep her mouth shut. Any suggestions on how to handle this? I figured that I will just let it go and I won't be as generous at their weddings (of course I wont' go as low as $25/person but I'm not going to go all out.

Any thoughts?

hmonkey · August 2013

carynNchan said: Thank you for your response. Before you start judging, I am Asian, and in the Asian Culture, the tradition is to give money as gifts in a wedding. There are guests who didn't give anything and my only issue with my two cousins. This is a family matter and I am asking advice for this. :: clears throat ::

i am also asian. and if you say anything about the amount given to you, be prepared to be ostracized or to hear "low class" whispered behind your back.

JeeGooDowster · August 2013

Although low-class, I'm not going to defend that it was cheap. And I do plan on not being generous, but giving enough but not overboard...I don't care if that sounds petty.

I'm not planning on saying anything. However I need help on how I can keep my mom's mouth shut as she is angry. Perhaps I worded the original post wrong.

VarunaTT · August 2013

carynNchan said:

Thank you for your response. Before you start judging, I am Asian, and in the Asian Culture, the tradition is to give money as gifts in a wedding. There are guests who didn't give anything and my only issue with my two cousins. This is a family matter and I am asking advice for this.

NOLABridesmaid · August 2013

I am Asian, and in the Asian Culture, the tradition is to give money as gifts in a wedding.

But, they did give you money. How much were they suppose to give in your eyes?

hmonkey · August 2013

tell your mom if she brings it up, it will be shameful and bring dishonor.

JeeGooDowster · August 2013

At the very least $50/person.....I don't give a s*** if that sounds greedy

JeeGooDowster · August 2013

From FAMILY...friends ...I don't really care what they give if they give at all.

hmonkey · August 2013

is cousins' grandmother = mother's mother?

VarunaTT · August 2013

NOLABridesmaid said:

But, they did give you money. How much were they suppose to give in your eyes?

Unless it's $100 pp:

JeeGooDowster · August 2013

no she's my grandmother's sister (mom's aunt). We are all close btw

VarunaTT · August 2013

I apparently need a RuPaul Drag Race fix.

AuntFlo · August 2013

(((yay for mulan!)))

hmonkey · August 2013

so mom wants to tell her aunt that auntie raised some cheap children? all this over $100?

VarunaTT · August 2013

VarunaTT · August 2013

NOLABridesmaid · August 2013

If you were walking down the street and found a $50 bill, would you or would you not be happy?

$50 is $50.

You had a nice wedding with your friends and family. Be grateful, yo.

VarunaTT · August 2013

VarunaTT · August 2013

Okay, I'm going to stop, but this is the last one:

NOLABridesmaid · August 2013

V, you do know you have a problem?

JeeGooDowster · August 2013

@hmonkey, you act as if asian mom's would never have anything to say about this. I understand anyone's anger over it. OUtside of my family, I've seen greedy Chinese people and couldn't believe it myself where they literally were telling guests to give them money.

I'm just trying to avoid any more problems. It's a lose-lose situation. I just told my mom that it would upset my granmother's sister so she shouldn't say anything.

no need to be self-righteous about it.

VarunaTT · August 2013

NOLA, I'm so bored. I just want it to be the end of the day. I had a huge work project that was finally coming to a close, and the damn deadline is pushed back again. I just need to go home and open some wine and let these next 4 days clear my head.

This chica doesn't get it. "they were literally telling guests to give them money". Um.....

hmonkey · August 2013

girl, i am not trying to be self-righteous.

but if you can't tell your mom to stop acting like these greedy chinese people you know, tell her to come correct.

JeeGooDowster · August 2013

I guess you've never come across that kind of stuff. must be an east coast thing.

VarunaTT · August 2013

Okay, one more:

hmonkey · August 2013

i have come across catty gossip. it's just that people know to say that behind someone's back, not to their face. it's called being classy.

JeeGooDowster · August 2013

ok thank you for your advice on how to be classy.

can someone please help me delete this post?

VarunaTT · August 2013

Your responses are all copied at this point. There is no delete, just blank spots. Basically...it's not going away.

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