Garter Toss Question

APDSS22 · September 2013

From Ok, had never even heard of the garter being put on the bouquet catcher and am now suitably horrified. Anyone know how that even started?

Because the last time I looked into wedding traditions (yeah that happened when I ran out of bulletin board ideas working for my dorm at college) the whole "catch the garter/catch the bouquet" came about from the tradition that taking a piece of the bride's clothing was supposedly lucky and tossing pieces was how she got away clothed...

melbelleup · September 2013

In my area (pittsburgh,pa) everyone does garter and bouquet toss then it goes on the person who catches it. Every inch past the ankle? maybe knee... means another year of happiness for the couple. Sadly, both my parents and fiance want a garter toss soooo we'll be doing it.

ETA: the groom removes it with his teeth, otherwise seen as bad luck.... oh, you'll get a kick out of this.. my dad thinks my fiance should go under my dress and pull out a thong and say "whoops wrong item" and go back under... yes... my dad... and he's not the perv type either.

Maggie0829 · September 2013

melbelleup said:

In my area (pittsburgh,pa) everyone does garter and bouquet toss then it goes on the person who catches it. Every inch past the ankle? maybe knee... means another year of happiness for the couple. Sadly, both my parents and fiance want a garter toss soooo we'll be doing it.

ETA: the groom removes it with his teeth, otherwise seen as bad luck.... oh, you'll get a kick out of this.. my dad thinks my fiance should go under my dress and pull out a thong and say "whoops wrong item" and go back under... yes... my dad... and he's not the perv type either.

All of this is why I hate this tradition. If you are going to do it then at least do it with some class. Not with teeth. Not with pulling random items out from under the dress. And definitely not too sexualized. It really just makes people uncomfortable.

My friends wedding that I was in did both the garter and bouquet toss. They then blind folded the guy who caught the garter and switched out the girl for a groomsman with really hairy legs. Some people thought it was hilarious but I just wasn't into it. I like to party and dance and all these side things like the tosses and the 500 spotlight dances really interrupt me from having a good time.

melbelleup · September 2013

Maggie0829 said:

All of this is why I hate this tradition. If you are going to do it then at least do it with some class. Not with teeth. Not with pulling random items out from under the dress. And definitely not too sexualized. It really just makes people uncomfortable.

My friends wedding that I was in did both the garter and bouquet toss. They then blind folded the guy who caught the garter and switched out the girl for a groomsman with really hairy legs. Some people thought it was hilarious but I just wasn't into it. I like to party and dance and all these side things like the tosses and the 500 spotlight dances really interrupt me from having a good time.

Completely agree, we're going to do it, but he's going to use his hands. as is the guy that catches it to the other person.. depending on who catches it of course. Though, I would think it would be really funny for a guy to do it to a guy.. it would also be weird. lol I also agree about the dancing thing, but we're doing the typical pittsburgh wedding traditions.. cookie tables, bouquet/garter toss, bridal dance... I'm actually excited for it since the last real traditional wedding I went to was my SIL & brother's in 2008. I honestly can't remember though if they had a guest put on the garter or not.. will have to ask now!

southernbelle0915 · September 2013

melbelleup said:

In my area (pittsburgh,pa) everyone does garter and bouquet toss then it goes on the person who catches it. Every inch past the ankle? maybe knee... means another year of happiness for the couple. Sadly, both my parents and fiance want a garter toss soooo we'll be doing it.

ETA: the groom removes it with his teeth, otherwise seen as bad luck.... oh, you'll get a kick out of this.. my dad thinks my fiance should go under my dress and pull out a thong and say "whoops wrong item" and go back under... yes... my dad... and he's not the perv type either.

To the first bolded: That sounds like a myth made up by men to get some action.

To the second bolded: This sounds like another myth made up by men so they can remove lingerie with their teeth.

To the third bolded: This is absolutely RAUNCHY and makes me gaggy.

Are you actually comfortable with this tradition? Or are you just doing it because your parents and your fiance want you to. Honestly, the only people whose opinions matter are your fiance's and yours (your parents absolutely do not get a say in this at all).

This concept is 100% BIZARRE (and yes, this is a common tradition in my family/region - including the catchers replacing it). I cannot understand why women want their groom going up their wedding dress to find lingerie - teeth or not - in front of all their family and friends. Call me Grandma Prudy, but I guess when I think about it, the concept of this risque, sexual performance in front of family/friends just doesn't fit my vision of a classy wedding.

ashleyep · September 2013

It's foreplay for losing your virginity on your wedding night, duh!

arrippa · September 2013

My horrifying story about this. The wedding was in MA and the bride's younger sis caught the bouquet. Her uncle caught the garter. You can see where this is going... It's even worse than you think. At first, the uncle put the garter around little sis's knee but the DJ made his redo it. As he attempted to put it up to her knee, the DJ was encouraging him to get higher (and yes, the DJ knew they were related). Everyone at my table was stunned and the only reaction was to down our drinks and keep drinking. I think we all averted our eyes during that time.

melbelleup · September 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

To the first bolded: That sounds like a myth made up by men to get some action.

To the second bolded: This sounds like another myth made up by men so they can remove lingerie with their teeth.

To the third bolded: This is absolutely RAUNCHY and makes me gaggy.

Are you actually comfortable with this tradition? Or are you just doing it because your parents and your fiance want you to. Honestly, the only people whose opinions matter are your fiance's and yours (your parents absolutely do not get a say in this at all).

This concept is 100% BIZARRE (and yes, this is a common tradition in my family/region - including the catchers replacing it). I cannot understand why women want their groom going up their wedding dress to find lingerie - teeth or not - in front of all their family and friends. Call me Grandma Prudy, but I guess when I think about it, the concept of this risque, sexual performance in front of family/friends just doesn't fit my vision of a classy wedding.

I'm perfectly fine with it as it is a norm in my area. No my FI won't be doing it with his teeth or the idea of what my dad said haha.. just going under and grabbing it

Here's a back story: http://www.alsformalwear.com/library-garter-history.asp

If you google the traditions though you get some wild ones so be prepared.

daria24 · September 2013

I'm from Central PA, both tosses are typical, and it is "tradition" for the garter catcher to put it on the bouquet catcher's leg, and the DJ always eggs the guy on to go higher and higher. The first time I saw it I was about 14 and I swore I would never participate in a bouquet toss.

Thankfully the tradition seems to be dying out, but I always went to the bathroom the second the bouquet toss was announced JIC they were going to do the 'let's humiliate the single girl by having a guy put his hands all over her leg' routine. One of the many, many reason I was ecstatic to be married was that no longer would older relatives try to force me into the bouquet toss.

RebeccaB88 · September 2013

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

From Ok, had never even heard of the garter being put on the bouquet catcher and am now suitably horrified.

Ditto, OK also, and we just don't do stuff like that here. I've caught bouquets before (when I was younger) and never even spoke to the guy who caught the garter. Hell, the past couple of weddings i've been to, the guys actively RUN from the flying garter and they've ended up with the garter on the floor and a bunch of guys standing around looking at it like it was kryptonite or something.

simplykayla · September 2013

RebeccaB88 said:

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

From Ok, had never even heard of the garter being put on the bouquet catcher and am now suitably horrified.

Ditto, OK also, and we just don't do stuff like that here. I've caught bouquets before (when I was younger) and never even spoke to the guy who caught the garter. Hell, the past couple of weddings i've been to, the guys actively RUN from the flying garter and they've ended up with the garter on the floor and a bunch of guys standing around looking at it like it was kryptonite or something.

I've seen that happen too! It's hilarious.
The only interaction I've ever seen between the bouquet catcher and garter catcher is that they have to dance together afterward.

melbelleup · September 2013

RebeccaB88 said:

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

From Ok, had never even heard of the garter being put on the bouquet catcher and am now suitably horrified.

Ditto, OK also, and we just don't do stuff like that here. I've caught bouquets before (when I was younger) and never even spoke to the guy who caught the garter. Hell, the past couple of weddings i've been to, the guys actively RUN from the flying garter and they've ended up with the garter on the floor and a bunch of guys standing around looking at it like it was kryptonite or something.

This is what I do... my family makes my FSIL (marrying my bro 3 weeks after me) and I be involved with the bouquet toss. Her and I just stand in the back and pretend we're going to catch it.... NO thank you. I'm an engaged woman.. no guy is going up me that isn't my guy.. the end.

APDSS22 · September 2013

Yeah I usually see the ring bearer pick it up and run around.

Dreamergirl8812 · September 2013

So in some parts of the country, the bouquet/garter tosses are an excuse for public sexual assault of single women?

Good thing I belong to a man and am therefore not suitable to be groped in public *sarcasm*

aurorajanette · September 2013

I'm from PA (Philadelphia area) and have never been to a wedding where the toss and the placement on the leg of the catcher didn't happen. Never thought twice about it to be honest. In my circle it's something that's done with a sense of humor, and not to be taken so seriously. We don't do it with our teeth however... that would be gross.

ScrabbleAndLlamas · September 2013

Seriously, people? I don't care if it's a tradition. Do not force people to touch each other in a sexual way for your amusement. Don't make people watch you be touched by your spouse in a sexual way. That's it.

Viczaesar · September 2013

moemacWed30594 said:

My horrifying story about this. The wedding was in MA and the bride's younger sis caught the bouquet. Her uncle caught the garter. You can see where this is going... It's even worse than you think. At first, the uncle put the garter around little sis's knee but the DJ made his redo it. As he attempted to put it up to her knee, the DJ was encouraging him to get higher (and yes, the DJ knew they were related). Everyone at my table was stunned and the only reaction was to down our drinks and keep drinking. I think we all averted our eyes during that time.

Why didn't either of them grow a backbone and simply say "No"?

melbelleup · September 2013

Dreamergirl8812 said:

So in some parts of the country, the bouquet/garter tosses are an excuse for public sexual assault of single women?

Good thing I belong to a man and am therefore not suitable to be groped in public *sarcasm*

hahahahaha that made me giggle. I didn't mean it that way, I just meant I would feel realllly awkward. But if I was single, I wouldn't mind it? oh man.. that sounds so wrong. -eats own words-

arrippa · September 2013

Viczaesar said:

moemacWed30594 said:

My horrifying story about this. The wedding was in MA and the bride's younger sis caught the bouquet. Her uncle caught the garter. You can see where this is going... It's even worse than you think. At first, the uncle put the garter around little sis's knee but the DJ made his redo it. As he attempted to put it up to her knee, the DJ was encouraging him to get higher (and yes, the DJ knew they were related). Everyone at my table was stunned and the only reaction was to down our drinks and keep drinking. I think we all averted our eyes during that time.
Why didn't either of them grow a backbone and simply say "No"?

She was 16 and didn't want to ruin the wedding and I have no idea what his excuse was. I was surprised that neither of her parents said anything but they seemed to enjoy the whole thing.

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