Etiquette

Why is it so hard to understand.....

24

Re: Why is it so hard to understand.....

  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I explained to her what had happened with my account and she said, "Oh, ok. I thought maybe the travel agent made a mistake." Riiiight. I could tell she was just covering up. I did end up donating to her fund, but MUCH less than what I had originally planned. 

  • There are some good options out there that let you ask for "cash" instead of gifts. There's a gift card registry that I use called Card Avenue, along with having 3 gift registries. To be honest, we really do need money instead of things but I still wanted to give people options so that's why I did 3 regular registries and a gift card registry.
  • Don't have a wedding? Okay great argument there. So anyone who isn't loaded shouldn't get married? Guess you're lucky lol. And I didn't ask for money. I just explained that I have 3 gift registries and 1 gift card registry to give them options. When did I say I "asked for money". The funny thing is, no one is really buying off of any of my registries so maybe I should have just asked for money, huh? lol
  • cmelliott said:

    Don't have a wedding? Okay great argument there. So anyone who isn't loaded shouldn't get married? Guess you're lucky lol. And I didn't ask for money. I just explained that I have 3 gift registries and 1 gift card registry to give them options. When did I say I "asked for money". The funny thing is, no one is really buying off of any of my registries so maybe I should have just asked for money, huh? lol

    It is really inexpensive to get married. All you need is a marriage license, an officiant and depending on what state you live in one or two witnesses. If you can't afford that, then no, I don't think you should get married.

    If you want to have a bigger party to celebrate your wedding, wait until you can afford it.

    Gift cards are like money. It's rude to ask for them.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • Gift card registry=cash registry=RUDE and TACKY. 
  • It's not rude when you give them options. Like I stated twice, I have THREE gift registries and ONE gift card registry. The option is there if they would prefer to just buy a gift card but if they really want to get us an actual gift, then have at it cause we have tons of stuff. I personally would prefer to get someone money or a gift card because A) What if they've gotten multiples of the same thing or B) they can use the money to do whatever they want with. But once again, if someone prefers getting us a gift, then they have all the option to.
  • Then they can do that too. We have people who are already doing that. But to give guests options, I also have a gift card registry that you can buy specifically for that store, or even online website. We have amazon on there too. I never once specified to my guests we prefer gift cards or cash. I just have options on there for whatever they prefer, since as you guys stated above, we're not mind readers.
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited September 2013
    If you look on the registry board, there is a woman complaining about the scam of a site she used for money/honeymoon registry whilst defending their use in general. I'm sorry, but if you scam your guests (honeymoon registry) you are asking to be scammed yourself!

    Also,  as for the above conversation- it doesn't matter if you have a million registries, registering for gift cards/ cash/ honeymoons etc is begging for money and it is rude. You are not a charity! People know to give you money.

    What bothers me so much about this is the fact that everyone who has done this thinks that their situation is soooo different and they somehow have done it a "nice" way. As the first poster said: Asking for money in any form (gift cards/cash/honeymoon/house down payment) is rude! Period. Full stop. END. OF. STORY!

    There is no way to do it without being totally déclassé! Everyone knows money is a good wedding gift. If you want money- don't register.

    PS: please don't have lots of registries! I hope everyone knows I was being facetious with my above comment about a million registries!
    SKPM
  • I think options are the best for guests. I have three stores, and the guests can choose the store they're closest too (which is what has happened as I imagined). I actually have the same stuff basically on every registry and when someone buys, say a toaster, off of one, I go and delete the same thing off of every registry. Options make it easy on your guests so they know exactly what they want and it makes it easy for them to get if they so choose.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Then they can do that too. We have people who are already doing that. But to give guests options, I also have a gift card registry that you can buy specifically for that store, or even online website. We have amazon on there too. I never once specified to my guests we prefer gift cards or cash. I just have options on there for whatever they prefer, since as you guys stated above, we're not mind readers.
    What do you not get about the whole "asking for money is rude" thing. I don't give a crap how many options you give your guests. When one of those options is a gift card registry (which equals to asking for money) then you are being rude.

  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm amazed that ANYONE could think a gift card registry is in any way acceptable. Are people that dense?!?
    Dreamergirl8812
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'm amazed that ANYONE could think a gift card registry is in any way acceptable. Are people that dense?!?
    Apparently so.  Which is just sad.

  • It's not the option just to give us cash. The thing about the gift card registry is that if they so choose to go that route, they know where we would prefer the gift cards to be from. I wouldn't want someone to get us a gift card to say lowe's. We have no need for that. If the guests are very offended by the gift card registry, they don't even have to look at it. And if they're SO offended they prefer not to get us anything, then so be it. I'm really not that concerned, I'm just trying to be nice and once again, give them OPTIONS. lol
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Given this and the nastiness towards her bridesmaid on the tattoo conversation, I'm starting to think she is MUD.
    southernbelle0915NYCMercedessimplykaylaDreamergirl8812
  • I understand what you guys are saying, I just don't agree. It seems like this side of the knot is very judgmental and attacks anyone who doesn't see their point of view. Even someone who asks a simple question or is just adding to the conversation. I feel sorry for anyone who tries to join in on this board.
  • Etiquette is not set in stone, it's even different in different parts of the country. This board is still about opinions and bouncing ideas off of each other. Not attacking each other which you've made it into.
  • @cmelliott...KeptinStitches is right this is the ETIQUETTE BOARD! People on ths board give you advice on PROPER ETIQUETTE.  I'm sorry you don't agree with them but they are only telling you the true and proper etiquette, and you don't have to listen.  Just remember that many of the ladies here are only tring to keep you from looking bad in front of your family and friends.

    Which brings me back to the OP of I can't stand people who have honeymoon registries.  To be fair when I first heard of it I was like, "That's a cute idea," but once I read into it and saw that you get nothing but a check minus a bunch of fees I promptly threw that idea out the window and warned everyone I know not to contribute to them!

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Etiquette is not set in stone, it's even different in different parts of the country. This board is still about opinions and bouncing ideas off of each other. Not attacking each other which you've made it into.
    Well if you don't like these boards then why are you still here? If you don't like our opinions or comments then find another board where you like what they have to say. Except you will be hard pressed to find another board that will give you blunt, honest truth but rather they will just shove sunshine and sugar and rainbows up your ass because they couldn't care less how poorly you treat your guests.

    buddysmom80Dreamergirl8812RebeccaB88
  • Oh, I'm here to stay now lol. I love me some good debate and I probably should be here to back up the poor people you attack. I just feel sorry for the others who come here asking simple questions and get bombarded with "how dare you, you're so rude, you should be ashamed".
    Bubblegum5586AlexisA01
  • I have never come across a honeymoon registry but I will definitely know to stay away from them now, especially when it charges you a fee to give on it.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    cmelliott said:
    I have never come across a honeymoon registry but I will definitely know to stay away from them now, especially when it charges you a fee to give on it.
    But you are perfectly fine asking for money through a gift card registry.

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