Is the money dance tacky? Groom wants to do it to raise money for a honeymoon.

NYCMercedes · September 2013

Wonder who PM'd Jenny that rude is standard here?

GypsyWife_ · September 2013

NYCMercedes said:
Wonder who PM'd Jenny that rude is standard here?

PrincessNewbieSnowflake

Pepper6 · September 2013

jennythorpe said:

Pepper6, just can't believe how people get rude over a question. I did get a very nice private message from someone just now though stating that this level of rudeness is normal or don't take it personally.

This is a very common topic on this board, so if you looked/lurked a little bit, you would have answered your own question. A lot of people that respond to questions here are regulars, so it gets annoying to have to answer the same question over and over again when you could have taken 5 minutes to look at previous posts...which usually explains the snarky attitudes.

Also, asking for money is a very touchy topic. It's a rude thing to do that will offend a lot of people, so if people are rude on this board where we don't have to tiptoe around your feelings like your family & friends might feel obligated to do, you can pretty much bet that's indicative of how they actually feel, but won't say to your face.

AddieCake · September 2013

Money dances are tacky as fuck.

mommapizano · September 2013

A co-worker suggested we do a money dance and I was mortified. I didn't say anything negative to him but he told me how wonderful it was for him and his wife. His bridal party (mostly bridesmaids) were literally pulling people on the dance floor and telling them they can at least throw out a $20 LOL

Thank goodness FI agrees with me and thinks that's greedy/tacky

MuppetOverlord · September 2013

No one has been rude to you.

We are all reacting to the prospect of a money dance, which IS rude and tacky.

I don't understand you, we validated your opinion.

My other advice is never to count on other people's money until you have it in your hand. While I do not normally advocate charging wedding things on a credit card, I will if there's a reasonable plan to pay it off.

If you're at a point where you cannot change your plans and take a honeymoon at a later date after you've been able to save and afford it, take out a 0% for 18 month credit card for purchases. Put the 3 nights on that, and pay it off over the next few months.

harper0813 · September 2013

I genuinely don't see anyone being rude before jennythorpe lashed out. Daveandkristen's reply was probably the least malevolent of the already not-rude replies. Totally confused.

loves2shop4shoes · September 2013

Well, you've already demonstrated your tackiness with a Honeymoon Shower, so the way I see it, what's one more?

Go for it!

RebeccaB88 · September 2013

OP, I don't get you. You said 'I don't really want to do it' and we said "Good! Don't do it."

We agreed with you. We gave you reasons why we agreed with you. Now you're pissed off because...we agreed with you?

Your gut reaction was that it was kinda tacky. We told you to trust your gut reaction. How were we rude?

I think I've seen it all now.

cmelliott · September 2013

Some people were rude about her even asking the question, as you can see by loves2shop4shoes. Some people are just rude instead of actually just answering a question.

Dreamergirl8812 · September 2013

loves2shop4shoes said:

Well, you've already demonstrated your tackiness with a Honeymoon Shower, so the way I see it, what's one more?

Go for it!

What the fuck?! How did I miss that?

A honeymoon shower? Begging for money? When my dog Benjamin begs I say "no!"

GypsyWife_ · September 2013

Cmelliot how do you pronounce that?

loves2shop4shoes · September 2013

cmelliott said:

Some people were rude about her even asking the question, as you can see by loves2shop4shoes. Some people are just rude instead of actually just answering a question.

People gave her honest feedback that was very pleasant. She got pissed off because it wasn't what she wanted to hear. So, she stomped her little foot.

My response was telling OP exactly what she wanted to hear: Go for it!

cmelliott · September 2013

Cmelliot how do you pronounce that?

huh?

MuppetOverlord · September 2013

cmelliott said:

Some people were rude about her even asking the question, as you can see by loves2shop4shoes. Some people are just rude instead of actually just answering a question.

Your perception is off. We're not being rude. We all have different personalities and will respond differently, but it's a bad, tacky idea and it makes most of us cringe in mention. Honeymoon showers are way high....ultra high...on the tacky meter... If she's going through with that, I'll echo the pp's comment.

What you may not realize is that we get the same question many times each week and some people get annoyed that people don't watch the threads before asking the question because they're sick of answering it.

cmelliott · September 2013

MuppetOverlord said:

cmelliott said:

Some people were rude about her even asking the question, as you can see by loves2shop4shoes. Some people are just rude instead of actually just answering a question.

Your perception is off. We're not being rude. We all have different personalities and will respond differently, but it's a bad, tacky idea and it makes most of us cringe in mention.
What you may not realize is that we get the same question many times each week and some people get annoyed that people don't watch the threads before asking the question because they're sick of answering it.

If you answered before why not try just not answering instead of being harsh and mean to someone who may not have stumbled onto every board available?

MuppetOverlord · September 2013

cmelliott said:

Cmelliot how do you pronounce that?

huh?

I'm guessing she means your handle. I'm guessing C - M Elliot

cmelliott · September 2013

MuppetOverlord said:

cmelliott said:

Cmelliot how do you pronounce that?

huh?

I'm guessing she means your handle. I'm guessing C - M Elliot

it's my name. first and middle initial and last name.

GypsyWife_ · September 2013

It sounds like smelly it.

cmelliott · September 2013

GypsyWife_ said:

It sounds like smelly it.

and that relates to this topic how? maybe it's past your bedtime.

MuppetOverlord · September 2013

cmelliott said:

MuppetOverlord said:

cmelliott said:

Some people were rude about her even asking the question, as you can see by loves2shop4shoes. Some people are just rude instead of actually just answering a question.

Your perception is off. We're not being rude. We all have different personalities and will respond differently, but it's a bad, tacky idea and it makes most of us cringe in mention.
What you may not realize is that we get the same question many times each week and some people get annoyed that people don't watch the threads before asking the question because they're sick of answering it.

If you answered before why not try just not answering instead of being harsh and mean to someone who may not have stumbled onto every board available?

I'm not mean and I don't really think anyone else was. Some people are sarcastic but not mean.

If no one responded who has responded to the question before, you'd hear an awful lot of crickets.

If you don't like us, you don't have to stay. But, I think if you get to know us you'll understand we're not really bitches.

GypsyWife_ · September 2013

cmelliott said:

GypsyWife_ said:

It sounds like smelly it.

and that relates to this topic how? maybe it's past your bedtime.

Oh why did you get so mad. I'm just giving you my opinion.

GypsyWife_ · September 2013

cap816 said:

GypsyWife_ said:

It sounds like smelly it.

How classless. But I guess what can you expect from someone whose "wedding" is in itself a breach of etiquette?

Ajuliana · September 2013

cap816 said:

GypsyWife_ said:

cap816 said:

GypsyWife_ said:

It sounds like smelly it.

How classless. But I guess what can you expect from someone whose "wedding" is in itself a breach of etiquette?

Again, trashy.

KnotPorscha GypsyWife_'s post, as the Community Rules CLEARLY state that it is against the rules to use "images (memes, gifs, etc.) in a direct attack/vicious manner, etc." as written here: http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-tools-help-center/the-knot-about-us/articles/knot-community-rules.aspx#ixzz2fD4qGd1z

@knotporscha , @cap816 directly attacked @gypsywife 's culture which frowns upon civil marriage. She has explained this multiple times. Also calling her trash is reminiscent of the racism gypsies face in every single country they reside in. If gypsy gets a warning, cap deserves two for perpetuating this hateful stereotype.

MuppetOverlord · September 2013

I don't see either as a TOS violation unless incredibly stretched but... I feel both parties (ETA: Cap and Gypsy) are acting with ridonculousness.

melbelleup · September 2013

daria24 said:

I come from a culture where the dollar dance is common. It doesn't really bother me when I see it, and I participate, but I didn't want one at my own wedding. In my circle, it's an "excuse" for each guest to have a moment to dance & talk to the bride/groom. H grew up only about 80 miles from where I did, but he had never heard of or seen a dollar dance. When I explained the custom to him he was pretty aghast at the concept.

I think announcing that you are "fundraising" for your honeymoon would be tacky-your guests already have purchased a gift, and the announcement would be hitting them up further. And you most likely wouldn't get enough anyway. The times I've seen the dollar dance in my circle, most people put in $1, sometimes $5. But the couple usually only gets $100 or so.

This. I'm having one, but I'm not doing it for the money but so I can dance with every guest and talk to them one on one.

cruffino · September 2013

melbelleup said:

daria24 said:

I come from a culture where the dollar dance is common. It doesn't really bother me when I see it, and I participate, but I didn't want one at my own wedding. In my circle, it's an "excuse" for each guest to have a moment to dance & talk to the bride/groom. H grew up only about 80 miles from where I did, but he had never heard of or seen a dollar dance. When I explained the custom to him he was pretty aghast at the concept.

I think announcing that you are "fundraising" for your honeymoon would be tacky-your guests already have purchased a gift, and the announcement would be hitting them up further. And you most likely wouldn't get enough anyway. The times I've seen the dollar dance in my circle, most people put in $1, sometimes $5. But the couple usually only gets $100 or so.

This. I'm having one, but I'm not doing it for the money but so I can dance with every guest and talk to them one on one.

You can dance and talk with your guests without dollar bills involved. It's called a reception.

melbelleup · September 2013

cruffino said:

daria24 said:

I come from a culture where the dollar dance is common. It doesn't really bother me when I see it, and I participate, but I didn't want one at my own wedding. In my circle, it's an "excuse" for each guest to have a moment to dance & talk to the bride/groom. H grew up only about 80 miles from where I did, but he had never heard of or seen a dollar dance. When I explained the custom to him he was pretty aghast at the concept.

I think announcing that you are "fundraising" for your honeymoon would be tacky-your guests already have purchased a gift, and the announcement would be hitting them up further. And you most likely wouldn't get enough anyway. The times I've seen the dollar dance in my circle, most people put in $1, sometimes $5. But the couple usually only gets $100 or so.

This. I'm having one, but I'm not doing it for the money but so I can dance with every guest and talk to them one on one.
You can dance and talk with your guests without dollar bills involved. It's called a reception.

Right, but this way guests know they can dance with me and the groom (especially the older guests), like I said, I'm not doing the money part, just the dance part. Just going to be a bridal dance with shots if they want them.

Salsera29 · September 2013

GypsyWife_ said:

GypsyWife_ said:

It sounds like smelly it.

How classless. But I guess what can you expect from someone whose "wedding" is in itself a breach of etiquette?

Hey, newbs who think the regs are "mean" and "rude?" Here is an example of mean and rude. Two of them.

cmelliott · September 2013

Salsera29 said:

GypsyWife_ said:

GypsyWife_ said:

It sounds like smelly it.

How classless. But I guess what can you expect from someone whose "wedding" is in itself a breach of etiquette?

Hey, newbs who think the regs are "mean" and "rude?" Here is an example of mean and rude. Two of them.

there are other examples of the regs as well.

Is the money dance tacky? Groom wants to do it to raise money for a honeymoon.

Re: Is the money dance tacky? Groom wants to do it to raise money for a honeymoon.

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