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HELP!!!! STB Mother-in-Law

2

Re: HELP!!!! STB Mother-in-Law

  • mc4dj13mc4dj13 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    Case in point: It takes one person to throw a wrench in the mix to cause chaos. This "ettiquete" board is a front to rip and tear into brides for asking very common questions. You all don't care about answering the OP's question. You just want to one-up each other to see who has the meanest answer. 

    Oh no! Not the gifs! Anything but that!! You sure showed me.
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    smalfrie19 said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    mc4dj13 said:
    She asked a question about where to seat her mother in law. She didn't ask to get a lecture about her wedding. Step off, ladies. Stay on task- to put it nicer.


    Then she shouldn't have added that extraneous information.  We are free to comment on whatever we wish to, unless the 1st Amendment was repealed w/o me knowing.

    And who died and made you Forum Czar?http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqcvy22vET1qd5jazo1_500.gif

    To put it nicer.
    Can we PLEASE discontinue the use of Knot Gods and start using this exclusively?!?!
    Yes, I approve!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • SunriseAmberSunriseAmber member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    mc4dj13 said:
    Case in point: It takes one person to throw a wrench in the mix to cause chaos. This "ettiquete" board is a front to rip and tear into brides for asking very common questions. You all don't care about answering the OP's question. You just want to one-up each other to see who has the meanest answer. 

    Oh no! Not the gifs! Anything but that!! You sure showed me.

    In how many more ways do we need to answer her question? You aren't reading the responses obviously. We all said to include +1's and then she won't have a problem seating her. What aren't you understanding?

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    southernbelle0915 said:
    mc4dj13 said:
    She asked a question about where to seat her mother in law. She didn't ask to get a lecture about her wedding. Step off, ladies. Stay on task- to put it nicer.
    Sorry this is the internet and you don't get to tell people how to post. And if all you came here to do is to post something irrelevant and condescending, why are you here at all? Serious question.
    Based on some of her recent posts:
    http://blogs.knoxnews.com/constantine/header.jpg


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I think her reasoning behind her guest list is so there's not strangers at her wedding. She said if they're not engaged, she'll still invite the SO if she knows them well. I can understand not wanting a stranger at a wedding, which is a personal affair.
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  • laylasauruslaylasaurus member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited September 2013
    So then you'd be okay with not inviting someone's spouse if you hadn't met them? I have never met my aunt's new husband, I'm sure not inviting him because he is a "stranger" would go over really well...no, not rude at all... *eyeroll*



    edited for typo
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  • aurorajanetteaurorajanette member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    jenniferurs said:
    I'm confused by those who say they wouldn't go to a wedding if invited without their SO. Before we got engaged, my fiancé was invited to a wedding with no plus one. He went and I encouraged him to. If the bride and groom have size and/or budget constraints to the point where they can't invite all of their loved ones and still have space for people they don't know, I'm not going to be offended. It's okay for couples to do things apart sometimes. I'd rather my fiancé witness his friend's wedding and his friend be able to invite the people she DOES actually know than protest and have my fiancé do the same.
    It's about the principal of the thing, not that we actually can't be separated from the sides of our SO. People say they would decline because it is incredibly rude to invite someone without their SO in many scenarios, and one of those scenarios is weddings. This is an etiquette board, so people are giving advice on proper etiquette, not personal preference. Just because you feel that it's okay and it doesn't offend you, doesn't mean that it's the right thing to do.

    As far as MIL is concerned, invite her with a plus-one. Many time parents are given a number of guests that they can invite, such as friends that they would love to share this day with. However, not all budgets allow for that, and that's okay, but they should at least be able to have a plus one. 

    As far as not inviting guests with their SO's, take the advice of this forum please. You will lose friends and cause resentment over your decision to not include SO's. Is that something that you want? Wouldn't you rather cut back in other areas that aren't going to hurt your guest's feelings, like flowers, decor, gown, venue, etc.?
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  • cruffinocruffino member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    cmelliott said:
    I think her reasoning behind her guest list is so there's not strangers at her wedding. She said if they're not engaged, she'll still invite the SO if she knows them well. I can understand not wanting a stranger at a wedding, which is a personal affair.
    that may be her reasoning, but it's rude to her guests. 
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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    laylasaurus said:
    So then you'd be okay with not inviting someone's spouse if you hadn't met them? I have never met my aunt's new husband, I'm sure not inviting him because he is a "stranger" would go over really well...no, not rude at all... *eyeroll*



    edited for typo
    No, I'm inviting a lot of people I don't know (some of which I'm being forced to). I think SO are fine, especially if the person that you know won't know anyone else there. I was explaining what I thought might be the reasoning of the OP's guest list.
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  • aurorajanetteaurorajanette member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Also, she is going to be having people stay over, then SO's should definitely be invited. I can't imagine someone saying to me or FI, "Please come stay overnight with us for our wedding. And by the way, FI isn't invited. You need to come stay over BY YOURSELF and watch the few happy couples that were invited enjoying their weekend together." Our response would be to tell you to stick your invitation where the sun don't shine. The fact that she used that as a reason to NOT invite people is confusing and embarrassing for her.
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  • laylasauruslaylasaurus member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    As far as all this "you're attacking her decisions that she didn't ask for opinions about" nonsense... 

    This is an etiquette board.  If someone is asking about how to go about doing one thing without insulting people, yet mention how they are insulting their guests in another way, it only makes sense that those commenting should point that out.  Otherwise, why ask for advice at all?  Just insult your guests as much as you'd like...one more stick on the fire won't make a difference if you're already pissing people off.


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  • laylasauruslaylasaurus member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    southernbelle0915 said:
    cmelliott said:
    I think her reasoning behind her guest list is so there's not strangers at her wedding. She said if they're not engaged, she'll still invite the SO if she knows them well. I can understand not wanting a stranger at a wedding, which is a personal affair.
    Never fails... 
    image
    So much love for this ^
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  • aurorajanetteaurorajanette member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    cmelliott said:
    laylasaurus said:
    So then you'd be okay with not inviting someone's spouse if you hadn't met them? I have never met my aunt's new husband, I'm sure not inviting him because he is a "stranger" would go over really well...no, not rude at all... *eyeroll*



    edited for typo
    No, I'm inviting a lot of people I don't know (some of which I'm being forced to). I think SO are fine, especially if the person that you know won't know anyone else there. I was explaining what I thought might be the reasoning of the OP's guest list.
    Wow, I hope you are not letting that phrase actually leave you lips to ANYONE! I can't imagine how hurt I would be by someone indicating that they were forced to invite me to their wedding and that was the only reason I was there.
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  • SwazzleSwazzle member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    cmelliott said:
    I think her reasoning behind her guest list is so there's not strangers at her wedding. She said if they're not engaged, she'll still invite the SO if she knows them well. I can understand not wanting a stranger at a wedding, which is a personal affair.
    image



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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    aurorajanette said:
    cmelliott said:
    laylasaurus said:
    So then you'd be okay with not inviting someone's spouse if you hadn't met them? I have never met my aunt's new husband, I'm sure not inviting him because he is a "stranger" would go over really well...no, not rude at all... *eyeroll*



    edited for typo
    No, I'm inviting a lot of people I don't know (some of which I'm being forced to). I think SO are fine, especially if the person that you know won't know anyone else there. I was explaining what I thought might be the reasoning of the OP's guest list.
    Wow, I hope you are not letting that phrase actually leave you lips to ANYONE! I can't imagine how hurt I would be by someone indicating that they were forced to invite me to their wedding and that was the only reason I was there.
    That would include my mom's work friends who she only invited to my wedding because they invited her to their daughter's. People I've never met in my life that are in no way connected to me. But, like I've said on other boards, my mom is paying so she gets her way and I smile and nod.
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  • laylasauruslaylasaurus member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    cmelliott said:
    laylasaurus said:
    So then you'd be okay with not inviting someone's spouse if you hadn't met them? I have never met my aunt's new husband, I'm sure not inviting him because he is a "stranger" would go over really well...no, not rude at all... *eyeroll*



    edited for typo
    No, I'm inviting a lot of people I don't know (some of which I'm being forced to). I think SO are fine, especially if the person that you know won't know anyone else there. I was explaining what I thought might be the reasoning of the OP's guest list.
    Exactly my point, if that is her reasoning, it is rude. 
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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    laylasaurus said:
    cmelliott said:
    laylasaurus said:
    So then you'd be okay with not inviting someone's spouse if you hadn't met them? I have never met my aunt's new husband, I'm sure not inviting him because he is a "stranger" would go over really well...no, not rude at all... *eyeroll*



    edited for typo
    No, I'm inviting a lot of people I don't know (some of which I'm being forced to). I think SO are fine, especially if the person that you know won't know anyone else there. I was explaining what I thought might be the reasoning of the OP's guest list.
    Exactly my point, if that is her reasoning, it is rude. 
    Maybe so. But you have to understand the want for a wedding to be small and personal? I personally think SO are important but I can also see the other side of only wanting people you know and are close to at your wedding.
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  • laylasauruslaylasaurus member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited September 2013
    Yes, I understand wanting a wedding to be small and personal.  That is fine, but, if that is the case then you don't go inviting a bunch of people who have SOs that you aren't also going to invite.  Having a small, intimate ceremony doesn't mean you get to dictate which relationships are important.  If she invites someone to her intimate gathering, one would expect that she would care enough about that person to recognize their relationship, in whatever form it may be. 
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  • laylasauruslaylasaurus member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment

    southernbelle0915 said:
    Regs - DISENGAGE! RETREAT!!! It's hook, line and sinker. I can't even......

    image
    too late..darn.
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  • cruffinocruffino member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    laylasaurus said:
    cmelliott said:
    laylasaurus said:
    So then you'd be okay with not inviting someone's spouse if you hadn't met them? I have never met my aunt's new husband, I'm sure not inviting him because he is a "stranger" would go over really well...no, not rude at all... *eyeroll*



    edited for typo
    No, I'm inviting a lot of people I don't know (some of which I'm being forced to). I think SO are fine, especially if the person that you know won't know anyone else there. I was explaining what I thought might be the reasoning of the OP's guest list.
    Exactly my point, if that is her reasoning, it is rude. 
    Maybe so. But you have to understand the want for a wedding to be small and personal? I personally think SO are important but I can also see the other side of only wanting people you know and are close to at your wedding.
    Stuck in the box!
    if you want small and personal, why invite people that you aren't close enough with to know their SO's? (awkward wording but you get the point)
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  • laylasauruslaylasaurus member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Perhaps it is better just to let people do what they want.  Maybe the things their guests will say about them as hosts will actually get through to them; some people just  learn the hard way....


    ...haha, No, no they won't, what am I saying
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  • jenniferursjenniferurs member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    laylasaurus said:

    Sorry, but having a few random people you've never met isn't going to ruin your pretty princess day.  It will however, make your guests more comfortable and likely have more fun, if they get to have their SO with them.


    Depends who it is, I guess. I've had a few friends from college tell me to invite them singularly so that they can enjoy a solo night away from their SO with their old college friends.

    Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
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