Stage, Addie, TXK, Pele, CMGr...

hacked · September 2013

If I might ask- what was the miscarriage- funeral thing about?

ShesSoCold · September 2013

I hate to talk about someone when they're not around to give their side, but here's the summary - CMGr posted a comment about a time she was asked to play organ at a funeral for a miscarried baby. I believe she was misunderstood, but she came across as having the attitude that no one should have been sad because it wasn't a "real baby" yet. I really think she was misunderstood and she apologized for it.

Legu · September 2013

Granted, I didn't like, "know" CMGr, but... I can't imagine her saying something like that and meaning it in an offensive way...?

hacked · September 2013

I had 6 miscarriages, so I do understand. The first one was very hard, and late 2nd trimester. Back then, it would never have been viable. Several of my miscarriages were early, but one was on Christmas Day. We stopped telling people about them, since no one knew what to say. After the sixth, I took it a lot better, but I still think about each of those little ones, all of which we named, and we have a Christmas ornament for each. Our son is in his 30's and soon to be married, and in my mind, he is my 4th child.

Interesting- I had many people say"it's not like it was a real baby". AT first it bothered me, but after a while, and the more years I put behind me, I see why it just pops out. It holds true on both sides. I wanted to just be able to hold my babies just once, and many think, at that first blink of a thought, that since you never got to hold them, they weren't a real baby.

3 years ago, we found out why they all died. Nice to put the "did I do something wrong?" niggling feelings to rest.

Legu · September 2013

That's some hard going...

I had one before I got my son. It was early (about 6 weeks) and it took a further two weeks for me to actually realise what had happened. (Realise... React to? I'm not sure how to phrase what I mean here).

I was unaware of the pregnancy, although suspicious for about a week, and I didn't really know how I felt about it.

I saw my sons heartbeat at 5 weeks, and certainly since then can not entertain the idea of "it's not a real baby".
If that is how the person who went through that miscarriage feels, fine. Personally, it's not something I could ever think.
To think we allow abortions up to 24 weeks scares me, but that's another story.

I know (well...) why I had the miscarriage, and looking back, it was probably a blessing in disguise, but still.

Although I consider myself to have lost a baby, I don't consider my son to be my second child...
It gets complicated when you think about it...

@hacked, I am sorry for your losses, and glad you got the answers you needed.

Legu · September 2013

On a massive side-note, although not drastically off thread-topic...

Some lil message-thing just popped up on my phone telling me I earned myself a "name-dropper badge"...?

This is like, jokes right here.

hacked · September 2013

It is nice to be able to open the door, peek in and say "I hold you dear"

I think that feeling a child move and seeing a heart beat is why I see my son as a forth child. I heard the Doppler heartbeat (this was before sonograms), and after that, even if I did not hear a heartbeat, I knew it was there.

We were not given the options of having a service, but about 10 years ago, I went to a weekend retreat for parents who had experienced losses, and was able to lay it to rest. We lit candles for our babies, said their names and said good-bye. It was very healing and gave me closure.

Thank you for being so kind . . .Legu

WinstonsGirl · September 2013

@Legu It's for "tagging" someone in a post, like I just did with your name. We get badges and point now that can be redeemed for rainbow unicorns. Stage and Linger had so many love it points that they were about to get their free unicorn so TK had to come up with a shit excuse to ban them so they wouldn't have to give away said unicorns.

ShesSoCold · September 2013

hacked said:

I had 6 miscarriages, so I do understand. The first one was very hard, and late 2nd trimester. Back then, it would never have been viable. Several of my miscarriages were early, but one was on Christmas Day. We stopped telling people about them, since no one knew what to say. After the sixth, I took it a lot better, but I still think about each of those little ones, all of which we named, and we have a Christmas ornament for each. Our son is in his 30's and soon to be married, and in my mind, he is my 4th child.

Interesting- I had many people say"it's not like it was a real baby". AT first it bothered me, but after a while, and the more years I put behind me, I see why it just pops out. It holds true on both sides. I wanted to just be able to hold my babies just once, and many think, at that first blink of a thought, that since you never got to hold them, they weren't a real baby.

3 years ago, we found out why they all died. Nice to put the "did I do something wrong?" niggling feelings to rest.

To the bolded, I cannot imagine someone trying to tell you how to feel. ESPECIALLY after losing a child. Whether or not you feel like this was a "real baby", isn't up to me. I mean fuck, I wouldn't tell someone that their cactus dying was no big deal.

And yes, I really thing CMGr didn't choose her words wisely and paid for it. But she owned up to what she said and apologized for the misunderstanding, which I commend her for. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. She stuck around after that, also which I commend her for.

I genuinely liked her and she's one of the GBCKers I miss the most.

Legu · September 2013

@WinstonsGirl
And here was lil old me thinking I'd come back to plan a wedding.
Scrap that.
New mission.
Earn a whole freakin bunch of rainbow unicorns!
(Maybe I could pass them out as favours, if I get enough? Or maybe that's not an option if I get banned for getting too close to winning one...lol).

I get people's rights to their views and all, although you obviously gotta know your audience when making said views known, especially over something so sensitive.
I'm glad CMGr stuck around for a bit anyway, at least a misunderstanding wasn't her parting gift to TK.

WinstonsGirl · September 2013

Legu said:

@WinstonsGirl And here was lil old me thinking I'd come back to plan a wedding. Scrap that. New mission. Earn a whole freakin bunch of rainbow unicorns! (Maybe I could pass them out as favours, if I get enough? Or maybe that's not an option if I get banned for getting too close to winning one...lol). I get people's rights to their views and all, although you obviously gotta know your audience when making said views known, especially over something so sensitive. I'm glad CMGr stuck around for a bit anyway, at least a misunderstanding wasn't her parting gift to TK.

Love love love!!! Best wedding favours ever

NYCMercedes · September 2013

@legu, you missed the whole flag clusterfuck.

laylasaurus · September 2013

I wondered about all this too. I mostly lurked for a long time, then posted some, then got busy and was gone for awhile. Have been on a lot more recently but noticed the usual people were missing.

laylasaurus · September 2013

I didn't think much had changed too much though, the few PPD threads I noticed or "Why is everyone so mean to me.." posts still seem to get quashed pretty quickly; minus one or two individuals that appear to be pushing pretty hard for team WB. I'd still say they are in the vast minority of regular posters though.

I have to admit, while I loved their advice, I also enjoyed watching Stage and the others rip the PPDs a new one when required.

MobKaz · September 2013

Legu said:

So, basically, it's all gone fruit-loopy. This makes me sad. I learned so much from here, from the regs that weren't afraid of telling it straight (and for all their rights or wrongs, I'm going back to Lucy/Edie days). Now you've got to spend so long figuring out how to word advice so as not to break the speshul snowflakes feelers... Is it really worth the time? So many names are missing from current threads, it's sad. Bear (both goodluck and bchs), Kmmssg, Banana, Hoboken, Musu, Muni... Surely KGs don't really want to turn the place into WBee???

Kmmssg and Banana are still here as well. Some of the regs often have to take weekends off to recuperate from battling the special newbs who insist on seeing nothing wrong about having potluck receptions, honeyfunds, large gaps, and fake ceremonies, because, well, you know......it's their day and all about them.

WinstonsGirl · September 2013

Hoboken still occasionally posts too.

@ShesSoCold I hadn't realized you name changed. Nice to see some older regs are still around

ShesSoCold · September 2013

WinstonsGirl said:

Hoboken still occasionally posts too.

@ShesSoCold I hadn't realized you name changed. Nice to see some older regs are still around

Thanks! I didn't know anyone would even remember me.

itzMS · September 2013

mobkaz said:

Legu said:

So, basically, it's all gone fruit-loopy. This makes me sad. I learned so much from here, from the regs that weren't afraid of telling it straight (and for all their rights or wrongs, I'm going back to Lucy/Edie days). Now you've got to spend so long figuring out how to word advice so as not to break the speshul snowflakes feelers... Is it really worth the time? So many names are missing from current threads, it's sad. Bear (both goodluck and bchs), Kmmssg, Banana, Hoboken, Musu, Muni... Surely KGs don't really want to turn the place into WBee???

Kmmssg and Banana are still here as well. Some of the regs often have to take weekends off to recuperate from battling the special newbs who insist on seeing nothing wrong about having potluck receptions, honeyfunds, large gaps, and fake ceremonies, because, well, you know......it's their day and all about them.

This. And I take weekends off to avoid having rage face at all of the spammers going wild since KGs don't moderate on weekends.

Legu · September 2013

NYCMercedes said:
@legu, you missed the whole flag clusterfuck.

And what was this please?

misshart00 · September 2013

itzMS said:

mobkaz said:

Legu said:

So, basically, it's all gone fruit-loopy. This makes me sad. I learned so much from here, from the regs that weren't afraid of telling it straight (and for all their rights or wrongs, I'm going back to Lucy/Edie days). Now you've got to spend so long figuring out how to word advice so as not to break the speshul snowflakes feelers... Is it really worth the time? So many names are missing from current threads, it's sad. Bear (both goodluck and bchs), Kmmssg, Banana, Hoboken, Musu, Muni... Surely KGs don't really want to turn the place into WBee???

Kmmssg and Banana are still here as well. Some of the regs often have to take weekends off to recuperate from battling the special newbs who insist on seeing nothing wrong about having potluck receptions, honeyfunds, large gaps, and fake ceremonies, because, well, you know......it's their day and all about them.

This. And I take weekends off to avoid having rage face at all of the spammers going wild since KGs don't moderate on weekends.

Now, the weekdays won't even save us. KP hasn't logged on in almost a week.

APDSS22 · September 2013

Legu said:

@legu, you missed the whole flag clusterfuck.
And what was this please?

Posters were using the flag button as a dislike button and just flagging every post in the thread because they were special little snowflakes.

NYCMercedes · September 2013

Retread, the mod, started flagging people just the same way the noobies used it. And then, when stage and linger were banned, practically everyone on the whole site was flagged. That led to our no flag button now. TB and TN still have a flag button.

MobKaz · September 2013

misshart00 said:

itzMS said:

mobkaz said:

Legu said:

So, basically, it's all gone fruit-loopy. This makes me sad. I learned so much from here, from the regs that weren't afraid of telling it straight (and for all their rights or wrongs, I'm going back to Lucy/Edie days). Now you've got to spend so long figuring out how to word advice so as not to break the speshul snowflakes feelers... Is it really worth the time? So many names are missing from current threads, it's sad. Bear (both goodluck and bchs), Kmmssg, Banana, Hoboken, Musu, Muni... Surely KGs don't really want to turn the place into WBee???

Kmmssg and Banana are still here as well. Some of the regs often have to take weekends off to recuperate from battling the special newbs who insist on seeing nothing wrong about having potluck receptions, honeyfunds, large gaps, and fake ceremonies, because, well, you know......it's their day and all about them.

This. And I take weekends off to avoid having rage face at all of the spammers going wild since KGs don't moderate on weekends.

Now, the weekdays won't even save us. KP hasn't logged on in almost a week.

........including most of the new posters!

WinstonsGirl · September 2013

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

Legu said:

@legu, you missed the whole flag clusterfuck.
And what was this please?

Posters were using the flag button as a dislike button and just flagging every post in the thread because they were special little snowflakes.

However, getting flagged became a badge of honour. I got flagged for thanking Addie for making my day. Flag cherries were popped everywhere!!

Legu · September 2013

NYCMercedes said:
Retread, the mod, started flagging people just the same way the noobies used it. And then, when stage and linger were banned, practically everyone on the whole site was flagged. That led to our no flag button now. TB and TN still have a flag button.

Omg.

I knew Retread went, I came back just after that happened (I miss everything by like a coupla days), although I never really found out what went on there...

So now we're what, to childish to be trusted with the big kids button or what?

Legu · September 2013

WinstonsGirl said:

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

Legu said:

NYCMercedes said:
@legu, you missed the whole flag clusterfuck.
And what was this please?

Posters were using the flag button as a dislike button and just flagging every post in the thread because they were special little snowflakes.

However, getting flagged became a badge of honour. I got flagged for thanking Addie for making my day. Flag cherries were popped everywhere!!

I never got flagged...

I feel so unwanted

WinstonsGirl · September 2013

I flag @Legu for missing everything by a couple of days and making us re-hash it all in this post. We're missing the cash bars and PPD's posts that need some beat downs!!

Legu · September 2013

Omg SQUEEEE!!!

Now I feel speshul!
I feel like I should have a party to celebrate!
With like, proper invitations!
For adults only, of course. I'll put that at the bottom so everyone knows.
I'm not sure this is the kind of party I should register for, as it's not specifically a wedding related party... I can just ask everyone for cash instead, yeah?
They'll need to bring money for drinks anyway so that shouldn't really be a problem.

D'ya reckon I could get my unicorns in time?

allispain · September 2013

Legu said:

Omg SQUEEEE!!! Now I feel speshul! I feel like I should have a party to celebrate! With like, proper invitations! For adults only, of course. I'll put that at the bottom so everyone knows. I'm not sure this is the kind of party I should register for, as it's not specifically a wedding related party... I can just ask everyone for cash instead, yeah? They'll need to bring money for drinks anyway so that shouldn't really be a problem. D'ya reckon I could get my unicorns in time?

No, no, no. You don't ask for cash directly. You place a jar with a cute poem on it that asks for money in rhymes. Because everything is better (read: less offensive to the entire world) when it rhymes. Pinterest says so.

Edited: Forgot to bold.

NYCBruin · September 2013

allispain said:

Legu said:

Omg SQUEEEE!!! Now I feel speshul! I feel like I should have a party to celebrate! With like, proper invitations! For adults only, of course. I'll put that at the bottom so everyone knows. I'm not sure this is the kind of party I should register for, as it's not specifically a wedding related party... I can just ask everyone for cash instead, yeah? They'll need to bring money for drinks anyway so that shouldn't really be a problem. D'ya reckon I could get my unicorns in time?

No, no, no. You don't ask for cash directly. You place a jar with a cute poem on it that asks for money in rhymes. Because everything is better (read: less offensive to the entire world) when it rhymes. Pinterest says so.

Edited: Forgot to bold.

And it must be rhinestoned. It MUST. That part is key to making it not rude.

Stage, Addie, TXK, Pele, CMGr...

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