When are you sending out invites?

AprilH81 · July 2013

Our wedding is January 25 and the 6-8 weeks falls in early December and I'm concerned they will get misplaced with the Thanksgiving/Christmas craziness. I have to have the RSVP's in by January 10th to leave me a few days to track down people who have not responded. I have to give my final menu choices and head count to our venue on January 15th.

Do I just send them out on Dec 1 and trust people to respond?

kaddessi · July 2013

I've read that you send them out 3 months in advance.

kerbohl · July 2013

We are date twins, OP! I'm sending mine out in November, but keep in mind that I am Canadian, so the Thanksgiving craziness is already over. But I figure early November is enough time for the invites to get out before the Christmas card rush. The con is that it is early enough that they might forget to RSVP with Christmas and New Year's going on, but I would rather that than have lost invites.

Mann2Be · August 2013

I'm thinking of sending them out in September just to be on the safe side lol

snoopycac · August 2013

My wedding is the 18th and I am sending them out the week after Thanksgiving. I'm just trusting my guests are adults and know to respond in a timely manner and not forget. I know when I get something important in the mail I put it on my fridge so I see it every day.

IMO 3 months out is WAAAAYYYY too far in advance. About 8 weeks is better in my mind. That gives people about 5 weeks to respond, 1 week for you to track down some MIA people, and give the final number 2 weeks in advance.

kaddessi · August 2013

Why do you feel that 3 months is too early? I'm going to be sending mine out at the beginning of October. I want to know how many are attending as far in advance as possible so that I can get the right amount of everything. I don't want to spend the last 2 months of my engagement (especially since its during the holidays) worrying about how many people are coming and where they will sit.

I can see if you send it out a year in advance. Well how do people know what they are doing in a year? But 4 months, I don't see that being bad. My wedding is 1/4 and I want to make sure people know not to go out of town for the new year.

AprilH81 · August 2013

kaddessi said:

Why do you feel that 3 months is too early? I'm going to be sending mine out at the beginning of October. I want to know how many are attending as far in advance as possible so that I can get the right amount of everything. I don't want to spend the last 2 months of my engagement (especially since its during the holidays) worrying about how many people are coming and where they will sit.
I can see if you send it out a year in advance. Well how do people know what they are doing in a year? But 4 months, I don't see that being bad. My wedding is 1/4 and I want to make sure people know not to go out of town for the new year.

I would send out a Save the Date announcement so people are aware of the date, but three months is WAY too early to send out the invitations. People may not know their work schedules or be able to request off that early and it may actually DELAY the RSVP response because they don't know yet.

6-8 weeks is plenty of time, even with the holidays.

snoopycac · August 2013

AprilH81 said:

kaddessi said:

Why do you feel that 3 months is too early? I'm going to be sending mine out at the beginning of October. I want to know how many are attending as far in advance as possible so that I can get the right amount of everything. I don't want to spend the last 2 months of my engagement (especially since its during the holidays) worrying about how many people are coming and where they will sit.
I can see if you send it out a year in advance. Well how do people know what they are doing in a year? But 4 months, I don't see that being bad. My wedding is 1/4 and I want to make sure people know not to go out of town for the new year.

I would send out a Save the Date announcement so people are aware of the date, but three months is WAY too early to send out the invitations. People may not know their work schedules or be able to request off that early and it may actually DELAY the RSVP response because they don't know yet.
6-8 weeks is plenty of time, even with the holidays.

Agreed. sent out Save-The-Dates mid August. That gives most guests the heads up it is coming.

If I were a guest and got my invite about 4 months in advance I would constantly be stressing because I don't know my work schedule, or babysitter schedule, or even if I'll have the vacation time available, and I want to make sure I return the RSVP in a timely manner and not forget about it. Although I loose things like that constantly because I just set them around because they "aren't necessary in the next month or so".

It may be more convenient for you if you know how many are coming super far in advance, but it is more stressful for the guests.

snoopycac · August 2013

AprilH81 said:

kaddessi said:

Why do you feel that 3 months is too early? I'm going to be sending mine out at the beginning of October. I want to know how many are attending as far in advance as possible so that I can get the right amount of everything. I don't want to spend the last 2 months of my engagement (especially since its during the holidays) worrying about how many people are coming and where they will sit.
I can see if you send it out a year in advance. Well how do people know what they are doing in a year? But 4 months, I don't see that being bad. My wedding is 1/4 and I want to make sure people know not to go out of town for the new year.

I would send out a Save the Date announcement so people are aware of the date, but three months is WAY too early to send out the invitations. People may not know their work schedules or be able to request off that early and it may actually DELAY the RSVP response because they don't know yet.
6-8 weeks is plenty of time, even with the holidays.

Double post ... sorry.

MrsToBe814 · September 2013

Late post here.. but we're getting married on the 18th. I ordered invites today & am aiming to have them sent out at the 3-month mark because of holiday stress and to give everyone enough time so that's about October 18 give or take some days. Typically invites are sent out between 2-3 months ahead of time to give people time to plan, request dates off and make travel arrangements so that's why were doing it this way.

krickly09 · September 2013

Another date twin here

I am actually going to send mine out the first week of November and request them by New Years. I will have 25 days beforehand to get seating charts right and everything. I would preferably not be last minute stressing about seating charts, so I'd rather give myself all that time to prepare. That way, when I have to call people who forgot, its not the days before they are due. I have a big question for you girls though, does anybody know of a cheap website to get invites? I am fine with DIY-ing the other inserts that go in, but would like to at least order the invites so I can have a design on them. Every website I see has them for 1.75 or more, and I feel like I can do them for less.............

kaddessi · September 2013

I got mine at Hobby Lobby when they were half off. So I think I got 100 invites/rsvp/envelopes for $30. Hobby Lobby does this thing where half the store is half off one week and the next week the rest of the store is half off.

Jazzyliza · September 2013

My date is 1/18 and I plan on sending out invitations around 11/1. The RSVP date is reply by 12/15. I too am concerned about the whole "lost in holiday craziness" syndrome. I have already sent out an email *save the date* via my TheKnot website tool. I also plan on sending out Christmas cards with a personalized note tailored to "looking forward to seeing you" or otherwise. By New Year's Day I will be making phone calls if I have to!

AprilH81 · September 2013

Jazzyliza said:

My date is 1/18 and I plan on sending out invitations around 11/1. The RSVP date is reply by 12/15. I too am concerned about the whole "lost in holiday craziness" syndrome. I have already sent out an email *save the date* via my TheKnot website tool. I also plan on sending out Christmas cards with a personalized note tailored to "looking forward to seeing you" or otherwise. By New Year's Day I will be making phone calls if I have to!

Why is your RSVP date so early? If you aren't calling people before Jan 1 you should set that as your RSVP date (which is still on the early side).

snoopycac · September 2013

AprilH81 said:

Jazzyliza said:

My date is 1/18 and I plan on sending out invitations around 11/1. The RSVP date is reply by 12/15. I too am concerned about the whole "lost in holiday craziness" syndrome. I have already sent out an email *save the date* via my TheKnot website tool. I also plan on sending out Christmas cards with a personalized note tailored to "looking forward to seeing you" or otherwise. By New Year's Day I will be making phone calls if I have to!

Why is your RSVP date so early? If you aren't calling people before Jan 1 you should set that as your RSVP date (which is still on the early side).

Agreed. My date is the 18th as well and I'm not sending my invites out till the week after Thanksgiving. Then my RSVP date is Dec 29th. That way I have a week to make calls if necessary and that still gives me 2 weeks to fine tune the seating plan.

Jazzyliza · September 2013

I discussed the dates with my stationer and she suggested that we get the RSVP cards back to me before Christmas because so many people go out of town and/or potentially misplace mail in the holiday stack. Hoping the 12/15 RSVP will get the majority of cards back to me before Xmas. That way, I can enjoy the holidays and then confirm the finals around the New Year. I will start making my calls on New Year's Day...that's still just 2 weeks lead time for my seating chart!

jessicareneho · September 2013

My date is the 25th too!! We are sending invites at the end of October and requesting rsvps by dec 21 so we have time to figure things out and make calls!

AprilH81 · September 2013

jessicareneho said:

My date is the 25th too!! We are sending invites at the end of October and requesting rsvps by dec 21 so we have time to figure things out and make calls!

Holy crap that is insane. Why would you need your RSVP's almost a full month before the wedding? It doesn't take that long to do a seating chart...

6-8 weeks prior is standard. Since this falls over the holidays I can *maybe* justify 9 weeks, but October is TOO. FREAKING. EARLY.

snoopycac · September 2013

@AprilH81 - Is it just me or do we keep saying the same thing 50 times in 1 post??

AprilH81 · September 2013

snoopycac said:

@AprilH81 - Is it just me or do we keep saying the same thing 50 times in 1 post??

Yeah, I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. Oh well, we are not the one who will look like a fool for sending out wedding invitations 4 months before the wedding.

kaddessi · September 2013

It's not the seating chart that will take me more than a month to do. I need to know how many people are coming asap for the money! Each person after 50 people costs me an additional $52 so I need to know how much money I will be spending! Like it or not, I don't think it's foolish at all to ask for a RSVP 2 months in advance.

AprilH81 · September 2013

kaddessi said:

It's not the seating chart that will take me more than a month to do. I need to know how many people are coming asap for the money! Each person after 50 people costs me an additional $52 so I need to know how much money I will be spending! Like it or not, I don't think it's foolish at all to ask for a RSVP 2 months in advance.

You should have planned for 100% attendance from the get-go, so yes, asking for an RSVP date two months in advance is foolish.

People will forget about it since it is so early so you will probably have to track down MORE people than if you had stayed with the normal time frame.

People may just decline from the start since they won't know if they will have the time off work, a babysitter or something else (but maybe this is what you want).

Generally speaking no one knows what is going on two months from any given date. If people RSVP yes they may have to send regrets later because of scheduling or they may just pull a no-show and you still eat that money.

Don't do it.

Jazzyliza · September 2013

Not sure why people are being so negative in some of these posts. Aren't we all just asking for advice and support? I would suggest taking the judgment out of the comments even where there is a conflict in opinion. I have become so turned off by the tone of the posts in many of the discussion groups on this website that I may just tune out entirely.

AprilH81 · September 2013

Jazzyliza said:

Not sure why people are being so negative in some of these posts. Aren't we all just asking for advice and support? I would suggest taking the judgment out of the comments even where there is a conflict in opinion. I have become so turned off by the tone of the posts in many of the discussion groups on this website that I may just tune out entirely.

Because after the first few posts in this thread someone else chimes in "but I have special circumstances and I'm doing this anyway".

The standard time to send out invitations is 6-8 weeks before the wedding. Since January brides are fighting holiday mail service I can somewhat see as much as 9 weeks but anything more than that is silly and will almost guarantee that you will not get the responses you want. When you send it that early people will just outright decline or put off sending it in until after the RSVP date when they know if they can get off work or find a baby sitter. Then you STILL don't have an accurate count and have to call people. It just causes more work...

AprilH81 · September 2013

GinaMelody said:

My date is 1-4-14 I was advised to send them out the first Monday of November.....I think that's OK but I have 350 people to account for so I want to send them earlier. My shower is October 20 so do I send them before my shower?? Ugh. decisions decisions

The first of November is ever so slightly early, but I wouldn't side eye it considering the holiday season.

I would have the hostess send the shower invites first, but I doubt it really matters.

MrsToBe814 · September 2013

Not sure why some people are being so judgmental about when RSVP dates are-do what's best for you, no need to be rude. I'm sending mine back around Nov. 1st and asking for them back December 21st. If people want to 'decline because the RSVP date is too early' & they can't schedule a babysitter for a wedding then we should obviously reevaluate our friendship. To each their own but nobody here is a wedding guru-calm yourselves ladies.

AprilH81 · September 2013

MrsToBe814 said:

Not sure why some people are being so judgmental about when RSVP dates are-do what's best for you, no need to be rude. I'm sending mine back around Nov. 1st and asking for them back December 21st. If people want to 'decline because the RSVP date is too early' & they can't schedule a babysitter for a wedding then we should obviously reevaluate our friendship. To each their own but nobody here is a wedding guru-calm yourselves ladies.

But the advice we are giving COMES from the wedding/manners gurus. We can't stop anybody from doing what they want but we can do our best to make sure the correct information gets out there. It is appropriate to send out your invites 6-8 weeks before the wedding and have the responses due 1-2 weeks prior depending on what the venue/caterer needs.

MrsToBe814 · September 2013

And despite wedding guru's advice & recommendations-every wedding is different. Every caterer is different. Maybe some brides don't want to do seating charts & be calling guests a week or two before their wedding. Needing a head count is more than for caterers and seating charts. Bottom line? To each their own, each wedding & bride is different. Do what you need for your wedding & there's no need to judge another bride. That's not what these forums are for.

AprilH81 · September 2013

MrsToBe814 said:

And despite wedding guru's advice & recommendations-every wedding is different. Every caterer is different. Maybe some brides don't want to do seating charts & be calling guests a week or two before their wedding. Needing a head count is more than for caterers and seating charts. Bottom line? To each their own, each wedding & bride is different. Do what you need for your wedding & there's no need to judge another bride. That's not what these forums are for.

Yes every wedding, venue and caterer operate under slightly different rules but ETIQUETTE does not vary. In the United States etiquette dictates that you send your invites out 6-8 weeks before the wedding.

MrsToBe814 · September 2013

I didn't realize there was a dictatorship ruling weddings & invitations. Wow. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what YOUR rules 'dictate' these brides are going to do what's best for them & their lives. Saying they're being 'silly' and 'won't get responses' based on an RSVP date being irrational. Just a friendly piece of advice. If 1-2 weeks before your wedding works for you-best wishes. If not, do what does work for you not what works for some stupid checklist, book, article, or random internet somebody 'dictating' your timeline.

kaddessi · September 2013

If this was facebook I would "like" your comment!

P.S.

Hello fellow Krista!

MrsToBe814 said:

Not sure why some people are being so judgmental about when RSVP dates are-do what's best for you, no need to be rude. I'm sending mine back around Nov. 1st and asking for them back December 21st. If people want to 'decline because the RSVP date is too early' & they can't schedule a babysitter for a wedding then we should obviously reevaluate our friendship. To each their own but nobody here is a wedding guru-calm yourselves ladies.

When are you sending out invites?

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