multi day destination bachelorette parties

MrsLillyG · September 2013

What are your thoughts on multi day destination bachelorette parties?

CLoGreenEyes · September 2013

Lmao. That's my thought.

It sounds fun in theory, it really does. In actual practice, it is hard enough to get all my friends together for dinner one night, and then there's the issue of being able to afford it. Just seems impractical.

ShesSoCold · September 2013

Too much.

Too much money, too much attention-whoring, too much time, too much "look at me! Yay!", just too fucking much.

This would be my reaction if someone suggested this to me

KPBM89 · September 2013

Agreed-too much.

We attempted to do that last year for my now sister-in-law, but there was just no way it was happening. She wanted us all to fly to Florida for a few days...no-one could afford all that after we'd already spent so much on the wedding and it was hard enough for everyone to coordinate days for what we did do!

Instead we went about an hour away to the city, got a hotel room for the night, partied there first, went out to bars, got dinner, and had tons of fun.

Almost anything you can do at a destination far away can be done closer to home for a lot less money.

WonderRed · September 2013

Meh. My best friends from college are flying me out to Dallas for a three day weekend bachelorette weekend. I didn't ask for it. That's just what they did for me because they want to do something to celebrate with me before the wedding. But we're in our early 40's so I doubt it's the same kind of "party" people are envisioning when they say it's AWish. We'll spend most of our time at a spa, eating fondue, and drinking wine and will be driving an hour and a half, south for our school's football game on Saturday. (SIC 'EM BEARS!!!) Unless I drink enough wine that I suddenly decide to streak naked across the field, I don't think that screams "look at me."

KeptInStitches · September 2013

Too much. I'd have to turn any invite to one down.

SBmini · September 2013

I think it makes sense IF you have people from all over the place and they'll all need to travel anyways. Then, why not meet in somewhere new and different for everyone?

Gisellerina · September 2013

I've been to some fun bachelorette party weekends in Vegas. So, I do think multi-day destination bachelorette parties can be fun for everyone given the right circumstances. The ones I have been to have worked because:

1.) Vegas is only an hour flight from where we are, so it's not overly burdensome to get there and because we all work the traditional M-F schedule, the majority of the invitees can attend without missing any work.

2.) Everyone who has been invited has known at least half the group, so there's not any of that awkwardness about spending a weekend with a bunch of strangers.

3.) Only three actual group activities the entire weekend - usually nightclub Friday, dayclub/pool Saturday, and a Sunday brunch. The rest of the weekend, people broke off into smaller groups and did whatever (shopping, gambling, show, etc.), so no one felt obligated to spend every single minute of the weekend with everyone else or trying to make large group decisions.

4.) The majority of the invitees have the discretionary income to spend on this kind of trip and tend to go on weekend trips with friends or family regularly, so they are likely to enjoy this kind of event.

I think these kind of parties are a "know your crowd" event - what works for one group doesn't work for another. I also think location is key - try and pick a destination that's convenient to where the majority of the guests are coming from - short flights and staying in the same time zone always make a weekend bachelorette party more feasible than a destination involving flying across the country.

WinstonsGirl · September 2013

Meh, not for me, but I've got too much else going on to give up a whole weekend most of the time. I also like down time and relaxation on my weekends, cos work gets so hectic for me during the school year. I'd be more open to the idea over my summer break though, cos I have more time off to get shit done

OliveOilsMom · September 2013

I think the cost of them is too much. We have having one for my sister in a few weekends, but we are staying at our parents' beach house. So that's free. And because the drive isn't too long, anyone can come down to the shore and stay for some of it or the whole weekend.

melbelleup · September 2013

Depends on where, but mainly way too much money. I am more than fine with just going to a big city (which I happen to live 40 mins from Pittsburgh) and drinking at all the bars in one night and eat some amazing food. That being said though, if all my BM's lived near me (VA beach) I could totally see us doing a beach trip in a cheap hotel... but they're all in PA so wouldn't work financially or timing.

Maggie0829 · September 2013

I say they are too much, if they are the typical bach party.

I had a multi day bach party but that consisted of me and my one BM staying with my parents at a retirement community. We went to Universal Studios one day and the other days we were by the pool. Everything closes down by 10pm so we certainly weren't partying to the wee hours of every night, in fact we didn't really party at all.

Now if the plans for the weekend are relaxing all day and maybe a nice dinner out and then a few drinks until about midnight I am all for it.

The only bad thing about multi day bach parties is the cost. Most times I would turn down an invite no matter what type of weekend it is going to be just because financially I have many other things I should put my money towards.

ElcaB · September 2013

I think it's a fun idea, but not easy to pull off and better suited for a girls' getaway weekend with the besties instead.

Ven&Radio · September 2013

Obnoxious.

I had a great time at my bachelorette party, but I *hated* letting my friends pay my way. I can't imagine expecting them to take time off work, travel, stay in a hotel, and eat out for multiple days.

climbingsingle · September 2013

I tend to agree with the PPs that say it's too much and it's obnoxious. I think there's only a few instances where it's OK:

If the destination is close by and it's very affordable

Your bridal party is located all over the country and you all agree on a spot that's close for all of you.

My brother's exfiance was adamant on having a huge weekend bach party in Vegas. We all lived in NY. Sorry, but I'm not dropping $$$$ to fly across the country and then spend $$$$ in clubs.

itzMS · September 2013

I get so little vacation time and time off from work in general (and money)...you bet I'm spending it with my husband doing things we want versus someone's over the top destination bachelorette party.

If I was single, I'd probably think they're great.

thisismynickname2 · September 2013

I agree it's a know-your-crowd thing and can be quite circumstantial.

I wanted to throw in a quick story- I saw some reality TV show about a company in Las Vegas that specialized in these wild'n'crazy bachelorette parties. (It was soooo obnoxious.) Anyway, this one girl's bridal party and groom surprised her by bringing her to her own wedding at the top of the Eiffel Tower, where groom originally proposed.

Two major things wrong with that:

a) clearly she had a regular wedding planned, which then became the PPD because they got married in Vegas and b) she looked like crap! She was in sweats, her hair was in a messy ponytail--- good grief, if you're going to give me a surprise wedding, make sure I look nice!!!!!!

Dreamergirl8812 · September 2013

I had a bachelorette weekend this last weekend. My MOH and my friend/BM's MOH threw it for both of us. In addition to us, 2 of my BM's friends came to but one of my BMs and one of her's didn't come.

It was a blast. Love me some Palm Springs.

Pepper6 · September 2013

The only person I like enough to spend several days with is my H. Now if it was a destination that is easy to get to (like Vegas for me), I might make a weekend trip out of it with H and meet up for a few different activities with the bachelorette party, but spending an entire weekend with a bunch of chicks, no thanks.

NYCBruin · September 2013

Depends on the people/situation. My MOH is planning one for me next spring. Since I have BMs in different states (and one on a different continent) and they all have been very vocal about wanting a big bachelorette party for me (they seem way more excited about this than I do), it made total sense. It'll be more of a fun girls trip (spa, wine tasting, etc) than your "traditional" bachelorette party stuff.

If we all lived in the same city, I would think it was a silly idea and would have turned it down.

NYCBruin · September 2013

Oh and just for some perspective, FI has been to 5-6 destination bachelor parties with 20-40 guys in attendance. It seems crazy to me, but I think the guys love it because it's like a mini college reunion every time someone gets married.

redneckjuliet · October 2013

My MOH (also my sister) is planning this very thing, although it is not such a destination for us. We live in Fort Lauderdale, FL and will be traveling to the Keys to spend the weekend with my gals. We are going in the off season to keep the price down and are telling everyone the date a year out for saving purposes. No one is required to go and its going to just be hanging out, drinking, and a snorkling trip thrown in on the one day we have fully down there. Most of the girls are already here in Florida, but haven't had a weekend in the Keys before so everyone is excited. I think it definately depends on the people involved, the financial situtation and the location. If you do it, just be relaxed and non strict about everything!

KatWAG · October 2013

Bummer, guess I am an AW.

I went with my 6 BMs to Nalpes FL. I agree with those who have said that this is a know your group. Destination bach parties are really common amoung my friends. My BMs all wanted to go and had the means to travel. We said at my family's house, didnt need to rent cars and the girls stayed anywhere from 2-5 nights, depending on their schedules.

The night H and I got enagaged, all of his friends immediately began asking when they were going to Vegas. So a month before our wedding H and 30 guys went to Vegas. They had one dinner planned on Saturday night (which we paid for) and the rest of the time the guys did whatever they pleased.

MyNameIsNot · October 2013

I generally think they're obnoxious and over the top.

My biggest issue with them is that it usually means someone is spending money they don't have or someone can't go because of time/money/whatever.

I went to one as a BM a few years ago. It was a ton of fun, but I couldn't help but feel really bad for the new mommy in the group that couldn't be gone two nights in a row. She would have been there if we'd stayed local or if it had been one night, and I know it really hurt her to have to say no. I really pushed to change the party plans, but the MOH was dead set on a destination.

lovesclimbing · October 2013

I think a multi-day party sounds really fun in theory. In practicality, me and my group of friends aren't really partiers. Most of us don't drink very much or go to clubs. I can see how like a spa day and then a day going to a show and shopping or something would be fun though.

Also, I couldn't afford to go to one right now.

KytchynWitche · October 2013

Depends very much on the people involved. Not for me though.

lfk2013 · October 2013

Both I've been to were destinations for me. Vegas (enough said) and Austin, TX. THe one is Austin was a lot of fun because the MOH tried to make sure to do activities other than dancing and drinking (although there was some of that). I think it depends on the crowd. For Vegas, we were all pretty much just out of college and most of us were single, so dancing and drinking were still enjoyable. For Austin, it was more laid back.

thejucheidea · October 2013

Yeah, no. If I wanted to spend a bunch of money and vacation time on a vacation, I wouldn't spend it on a destination someone else chose so I could hang out with that person and her friends who I may or may not know.

jenniferurs · October 2013

Pepper6 said:
The only person I like enough to spend several days with is my H. Now if it was a destination that is easy to get to (like Vegas for me), I might make a weekend trip out of it with H and meet up for a few different activities with the bachelorette party, but spending an entire weekend with a bunch of chicks, no thanks.

You don't like your best friend enough to spend a few days with her?

KeptInStitches · October 2013

In Vegas/other destination spot? When I get no PTO? Forget that, I don't care how close she is to me.

itzMS · October 2013

jenniferurs said:

The only person I like enough to spend several days with is my H. Now if it was a destination that is easy to get to (like Vegas for me), I might make a weekend trip out of it with H and meet up for a few different activities with the bachelorette party, but spending an entire weekend with a bunch of chicks, no thanks.
You don't like your best friend enough to spend a few days with her?

I don't, either.

Maybe a few hours or a night out here and there...but an entire weekend? Nope.

multi day destination bachelorette parties

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