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Thoughts on this?

Sembree1Sembree1 member
Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

Wedding Registry: Can We Include Items for Our Child on Our Wedding Registry?

Q.

My fiance and I have a son. We are buying a house shortly after the wedding. In addition to wedding gifts, is it okay to register for items for our son's room?

A.

I don't believe you are breaking any rules of etiquette by registering for some gifts for your son's room. Think of it this way: The whole idea behind registering is that friends and family are helping you and your new spouse to build your first home together. Since your son is an integral part of your life, I don't see why you can't register for things to fill his part of your home as well. Remember also that putting things on your registry is not forcing people to buy them; it is merely saying, "Here are some ideas for what we most need." Just keep in mind that your wedding, and the subsequent gifts you receive, are meant to celebrate your union with your fiance. As such, a registry full of baby furniture may put some people off, so make sure there are plenty of other items available. This way, if someone feels uncomfortable purchasing something for your son's room, they can simply select a more traditional gift.




I was looking though to FAQ's and this is how the "resident expert" responded. What's everyones thoughts?
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Re: Thoughts on this?

  • loves2shop4shoesloves2shop4shoes member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I wouldn't.

    But then again, I err on the side of caution when it comes to those things


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  • NYCBruinNYCBruin member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Yikes. I totally disagree. Wedding gifts are for those who are actually wed.

    A registry is not a "wish list" of things the couple wants. It's a tool for guests that answers common questions (what color towels would they prefer) and to avoid duplicate gifts (because no one wants five toasters).
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    As a guest, I wouldn't be offended, but I would side-eye kids' items on a wedding registry and wouldn't choose them.  The point of a wedding gift is to help the couple set up their home, not to get stuff for their kids.

    Besides, the kid will eat off the plates, use the towels, etc, that are on the registry.  The couple can use gift cards to get new furniture for the kid's room.  
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  • chibiyuichibiyui member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Enh, It's kinda hard to say. I probably wouldn't think too much of it if I were registry shopping and saw youth accents/furniture, but I also don't know if I'd buy it. 
    I'd probably assume they had it on there for completion discounts after the wedding.

    I can see how some people would be offended though. 
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  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with it, though I think the items should be for the couple. As long as they are things like furniture, I don't think it's a big deal. Hell, friends of mine registered for a dog bed, and I bought it.
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I wouldn't buy stuff for the kid off the registry. The kid isn't getting married, so he doesn't get presents. I'll buy cookware that he'll be fed from, towels he'll dry off with, silverware he'll use to eat dinner with, but not toys or bedroom stuff.
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  • crunchymamaof2 crunchymamaof2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I wouldn't really side eye furniture. A night stand or child-themed rug or lamp, for example, would be fine in my eyes. Actual child items, like children's utensils or toys, would be inappropriate IMO.

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2013
    acove2006 said:
    I wouldn't really side eye furniture. A night stand or child-themed rug or lamp, for example, would be fine in my eyes. Actual child items, like children's utensils or toys, would be inappropriate IMO.
    Agreed. Sheets for the guest room or guest bath towels are no more for the couple than sheets for a child's room. Same with lamps and end tables. I would not buy toys or kids clothes off a registry, but items for the house are items for the house regardless of who sleeps in that room.

    ETA major typo
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I personally wouldn't get anything to kid related from the registry, but that's just me.  I wouldn't side-eye or think differently of the couple for adding those items either.  If you don't need much for you as a couple, you could always keep the registry small or not register and just use the cash for the kids room. (no one needs to know how you spent the cash)
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  • delujm0delujm0 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    I wouldn't side-eye sheets, towels, or other regular household stuff that was intended for a kid's room/bathroom.  Ditto child-size cups, bowls, etc.  I would definitely side-eye toys and things like car-shaped beds, for example.

     

    Basically, child-size normal registry stuff would be fine...items that are very specifically for the child rather than the couple i wouldn't feel comfortable with.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment

    I don't have juds but even if we did, I wouldn't register for gifts for the kids. I think a registry shoud be for things you & the groom need/want.  Now things the family can enjoy together like outdoors game, board games or even an ice cream machine I think would be ok.

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  • mimiphinmimiphin member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    NYCBruin said:
    Yikes. I totally disagree. Wedding gifts are for those who are actually wed. A registry is not a "wish list" of things the couple wants. It's a tool for guests that answers common questions (what color towels would they prefer) and to avoid duplicate gifts (because no one wants five toasters).
    Please explain, I thought that a registry is just that, a wish list of what the couple wants. I have friends who have lived together for years get married and their registry is for things such as a new tent, sleeping bags, some up grades for the house (stand mixer, better sheets and the like).

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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    doeydo said:
    I think a wedding registry should be things for the couple.  If I want to get something for their kid, I'll wait for their birthday.
    I agree with this.
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  • NYCBruinNYCBruin member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited September 2013
    mimiphin said:
    NYCBruin said:
    Yikes. I totally disagree. Wedding gifts are for those who are actually wed. A registry is not a "wish list" of things the couple wants. It's a tool for guests that answers common questions (what color towels would they prefer) and to avoid duplicate gifts (because no one wants five toasters).
    Please explain, I thought that a registry is just that, a wish list of what the couple wants. I have friends who have lived together for years get married and their registry is for things such as a new tent, sleeping bags, some up grades for the house (stand mixer, better sheets and the like).
    I suppose it's kind of like a wish list, but that's not the purpose behind it.  The reason why registries became a thing was to make things easier for GUESTS who wanted to buy the couple things, but didn't know what the couple's taste, preferences, needs were.  Think of a registry as a one-stop shop for wedding gift givers to answer a bunch of questions like: would you prefer a toaster or a blender, what color towels would you like, are you a cotton sheet person or do you want some flannel sheets for winter, has someone already purchased you wine glasses, what china pattern do you like so you don't end up with 12 different place settings.  These assist gift givers who want you to actually use and enjoy their gift rather than having to return it because it doesn't match or you already have one.

    I know registries have expanded recently, and I don't particularly like the trend but I don't think there's anything terribly wrong with registering for things that the COUPLE will use.  Personally I think registering for things that are clearly intended for a child is in poor taste.  I put it up there with registering for things that are clearly intended for only one person in the relationship.  
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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  • GypsyWife_GypsyWife_ member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Isn't that what baby shower registries are for?
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I think that wedding registries should be items for the couple and for the house, NOT specifically for a child.

    I have seen a few registries that included toys and such for their kids.  I definitely side-eyed that.

    I also think that a wedding registry should be a realistic "wish list" for the bride and groom.  At least that is how I made mine.  I picked items that I wanted/wished for but in a realistic price range for my guests.  So I didn't put a bedroom set on there or a car or a new patio, etc.

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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Maggie0829 said:
    I think that wedding registries should be items for the couple and for the house, NOT specifically for a child.

    I have seen a few registries that included toys and such for their kids.  I definitely side-eyed that.

    I also think that a wedding registry should be a realistic "wish list" for the bride and groom.  At least that is how I made mine.  I picked items that I wanted/wished for but in a realistic price range for my guests.  So I didn't put a bedroom set on there or a car or a new patio, etc.
    This cracked me up! All I could think after reading that is "Maggie...COME ON DOWN..."
    If only Bob Barker had a wedding registry episode of the Price is Right! *awesome sauce*
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I would side-eye the hell out of this. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Sembree1 said:

    Wedding Registry: Can We Include Items for Our Child on Our Wedding Registry?

    Q.

    My fiance and I have a son. We are buying a house shortly after the wedding. In addition to wedding gifts, is it okay to register for items for our son's room?

    A.

    I don't believe you are breaking any rules of etiquette by registering for some gifts for your son's room. Think of it this way: The whole idea behind registering is that friends and family are helping you and your new spouse to build your first home together. Since your son is an integral part of your life, I don't see why you can't register for things to fill his part of your home as well. Remember also that putting things on your registry is not forcing people to buy them; it is merely saying, "Here are some ideas for what we most need." Just keep in mind that your wedding, and the subsequent gifts you receive, are meant to celebrate your union with your fiance. As such, a registry full of baby furniture may put some people off, so make sure there are plenty of other items available. This way, if someone feels uncomfortable purchasing something for your son's room, they can simply select a more traditional gift.




    I was looking though to FAQ's and this is how the "resident expert" responded. What's everyones thoughts?
    I disagree entirely.  It is inappropriate to register for child gifts on a wedding registry.  Wtf.

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  • WonderRedWonderRed member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    We didn't put anything on our registry for DS.  If someone wants to buy him a present, that's great and it will be well received and appreciated as being very thoughtful.  But our registry isn't the place to suggest someone should do it.
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The question posed was "is it okay to register for items for our son's room?"
    I don't really see how items for his room (ie sheets, furniture, floor rug, lamp, etc) is a gift for him. I'm just curious - are people missing that part or do they think these are "gifts" for the kid and not the couple? Why is it ok to register of a living room lamp or guest room sheets, but not a kid's lamp or children's sheets? Or why these would be thought of as bday gifts. 

    I'm not trying to be argumentative. I'm just curious. 

    I totally would not buy toys off a registry, but I don't think stuff for his room is any different than stuff for another room in house - they are all just housewares.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If the sheets were say grey then it would be more of a household item, but if the sheets were covered in cartoon airplanes then that would scream "this is for our kid and not for general household use."  I think it is different when the item is for general household use and when it is geared specifically for a child.  KWIM?

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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Maggie0829 said:
    If the sheets were say grey then it would be more of a household item, but if the sheets were covered in cartoon airplanes then that would scream "this is for our kid and not for general household use."  I think it is different when the item is for general household use and when it is geared specifically for a child.  KWIM?
    Sort of, but my guest room has my favorite sports team's logo on the sheets, so I don't see why that's ok to register but not cartoon airplane sheets. I don't know, I guess I just feel like it's stuff for a room not for a kid. Just like guest towels aren't for the couple, but the guests. To each their own I suppose :-)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • NYCBruinNYCBruin member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I absolutely viewed new sheets, furniture, lamps, etc. as gifts when I was a kid.  I don't see why you wouldn't consider something specific for the child a gift for the child.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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  • SJM7538SJM7538 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment

    Wedding Registry: Can We Include Items for Our Child on Our Wedding Registry?

    Q.

    My fiance and I have a son. We are buying a house shortly after the wedding. In addition to wedding gifts, is it okay to register for items for our son's room?

    A.

    I don't believe you are breaking any rules of etiquette by registering for some gifts for your son's room. Think of it this way: The whole idea behind registering is that friends and family are helping you and your new spouse to build your first home together. Since your son is an integral part of your life, I don't see why you can't register for things to fill his part of your home as well. Remember also that putting things on your registry is not forcing people to buy them; it is merely saying, "Here are some ideas for what we most need." Just keep in mind that your wedding, and the subsequent gifts you receive, are meant to celebrate your union with your fiance. As such, a registry full of baby furniture may put some people off, so make sure there are plenty of other items available. This way, if someone feels uncomfortable purchasing something for your son's room, they can simply select a more traditional gift.




    I was looking though to FAQ's and this is how the "resident expert" responded. What's everyones thoughts?

     

    Stuck in the box!

    I think this is a "know your crowd" situation.  I put dog beds and microfiber dog towels on my registry and from the feedback I got no one batted an eye. Someone actually bouught them. But everyone knows we have three dogs and like them more than most people. Hell, my aunt hand painted my pictures of my dogs as my shower gift.

    I personally don't see anything wrong with it but others might. So I think you may need to just think about how your guests will look at it.

     

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