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Honeymoon Registry

carly324carly324 member
Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
in Registry and Gift Forum
We were going back and forth about dong a honeymoon registry but FINALLY decided to just go ahead and do it. We moved into our new home this past April so we have a home full of new stuff.  When we went to register we realized we already had SO much of what was needed. Of course we found items to register for, but because we already have a lot we wanted to do this honeymoon fund.  Any tips on how to do this?  Can we only go through a website where people can contribute to hotels/excursions?  Thanks in advance!! :)
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Re: Honeymoon Registry

  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    carly324 said:
    We were going back and forth about dong a honeymoon registry but FINALLY decided to just go ahead and do it. We moved into our new home this past April so we have a home full of new stuff.  When we went to register we realized we already had SO much of what was needed. Of course we found items to register for, but because we already have a lot we wanted to do this honeymoon fund.  Any tips on how to do this?  Can we only go through a website where people can contribute to hotels/excursions?  Thanks in advance!! :)


    Please read the 1000 threads on this exact topic. HM funds are tacky. It is asking your guest for money. Why dont you create a small registy and then when that fills up and a guest asks you about it say "we are saving for X"

    HM fund companies take a cut of the amount given anyway. Wouldnt you rather have the whoel check for $100 and not end up getting $93? Not to mention, they are deceitful. Your guests are not actually buying you a zipline tour or a massage.

    Save your money and have a HM that you can afford without counting on money from your guests.

    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • carly324carly324 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    Thanks for the advice. It's not that we can not afford our honeymoon- otherwise we wouldn't have selected it in the first place.  We just dont want a gift to have and return.  I would rather something that we can appreciate.  I could care less if everyone showed up with nothing... but i know my mom and bridesmaids will be asked what to get if we have nothing left on registry.  

    Appreciate your advice.  We are still going to go ahead with this though. :)
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    carly324 said:
    Thanks for the advice. It's not that we can not afford our honeymoon- otherwise we wouldn't have selected it in the first place.  We just dont want a gift to have and return.  I would rather something that we can appreciate.  I could care less if everyone showed up with nothing... but i know my mom and bridesmaids will be asked what to get if we have nothing left on registry.  

    Appreciate your advice.  We are still going to go ahead with this though. :)

    You are going to have things to return/ exchange, no matter what. A HM registry doesnt fix that.

    To the bolded: why can't your family say you are saving for X? People will get the hint that you want cash.

    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • carly324carly324 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    ok. thank you KatWAG for your advice.  I feel like asking for cash is even worse.  anyhow.. thanks 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    carly324 said:
    ok. thank you KatWAG for your advice.  I feel like asking for cash is even worse.  anyhow.. thanks 
    But you aren't asking for cash.  When people ask where you are registered you say "oh we are registered at X and Y and we are also trying to save up for Z."  That is not asking for cash.  Asking for cash would sound like "Oh we would just prefer the green stuff" or "We really want money."

    And a HM registry is asking for money because in the end what you get is a check.  No excursions booked, no dinners reserved, nothing physical, just a paper check that you can then cash and use however you wish.

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  • carly324carly324 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    good to know..  i dont know a whole lot about this so thanks for the tips.  If i know that even one guest was treated rude I would be :(. thanks for the help!
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    We did not register - anywhere. Everyone knows cash is always useful and preferred - literally everyone on earth knows this. =o) Some people will want to get you a physical gift - these are not the people who use HM registries. The people who use HM registries are people who would give you a check, but instead think that you will receive the FULL amount they gift you. You you will ACTUALLY receive that massage, not a credit on your bill and if you decide you can get the massage or take the excursion.

    For our wedding the gifts broke down like this: 75% cash or check, 20% gift cards and 5% physical gifts. If you want money or don't need anything don't register. This is the best way to politely suggest folks give you money. I'm telling you from experience ;-) A HM is not polite, sorry. There is nothing wrong with saying, when asked where you are registered, we are saving up for the honeymoon (or house or big screen TV or whatever it is you'd like to purchase). GL!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • MNVegasMNVegas member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    Asking for cash in any way is inappropriate. A honeymoon registry is a cash registry and a direct request for a cash gift no matter how you try to disguise it. So guess what? Rude. 

    People already know cash is a great gift and will give it if they want to. You do not need to ask for it. Agree w/others who said do a small registry and guests will get the hint that cash is appreciated. If someone asks you directly say you are registered at store X but also saving for HM.

    Have a great wedding and honeymoon!
    Mary Click here for my bio! image
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  • mimiphinmimiphin member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    If you only have a HM registry or no registry, I won't give you a gift(cash, or a card, or anything!). If I want to give you money that is my choice, I dont want to be forced into it.

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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mimiphin said:
    If you only have a HM registry or no registry, I won't give you a gift(cash, or a card, or anything!). If I want to give you money that is my choice, I dont want to be forced into it.
    No one is forcing anyone - You are never forced to give a gift. Not registering does not force you to give cash. We chose not to register as it was the second wedding for both of us and gifts were not expected - but then they never should be.
    If I care about the couple I will still give them a gift even if they only have a HM registry (and I'll just secretly think to myself that they are tacky). 
    You can always pick out a gift you think the couple would like. When asked we simply said we didn't register and if they pressed we said - if you would like to give us a gift you can pick something out for us, but it's not necessary. 
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • carly324carly324 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    thats nice. thanks.  after everyone's advice guess we are tacky. :)
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    KatWAG said:
    @carly324 said:
    thats nice. thanks.  after everyone's advice guess we are tacky. :)

    it's not cute to be tacky.
    It's also not cute to rip off your guests by their gift to you being cut by fees when they don't know it.
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  • carly324carly324 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    FYI.. i am probably the least tackiest person. But again. thanks.
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  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    image
    image
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    carly324 said:
    thats nice. thanks.  after everyone's advice guess we are tacky. :)
    No you're not. You just didn't know any better. The wedding industry tries to disguise stuff like honeymoon registries as nice ways of asking for cash, but it's just lipstick on a pig. KWIM? Now you know! These ladies taught me a bunch also. 

    Here's what you can do to avoid this: Create a small registry. If you don't need the typical stuff, register on Amazon. We did this and got stuff like a backpacking tent, other camping stuff, etc. We also had a Macy's registry for towels, sheets and other stuff that we knew we'd need now and down the road. 

    If you create just a small registry with a few things and people ask you where you're registered/what you want, you can say "well, we have a small registry at _____ but we're saving for a down payment on a house." You're not asking for cash and people understand.

    Also, keep in mind that if you don't have boxed gift registry, you can't have a shower (showers are for boxed gifts). So if anyone wants to throw you a shower, you'll need to create a registry anyway.

    Good luck!
    *********************************************************************************

    image
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  • atlastmrsgatlastmrsg member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    Don't be discouraged by all the people who tell you it's tacky.  It's YOUR wedding, so be happy and do what is best for you and your hubby to be.  Just today, one of the articles on theknot's homepage was the 10 etiquette rules that are outdated.  This very topic was mentioned.  Theknot certainly doesn't tell you no.

    I hope many guests contribute to your honeymoon registry, and enable you to have the honeymoon of your dreams.  You'll remember the honeymoon of your dreams a lot more than whoever calls you "tacky" on an anonymous message board. :)

     

    http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/planning-a-wedding/articles/10-wedding-rules-you-can-break.aspx?page=3

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  • jneen101jneen101 member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    No.
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    SAHoehle said:

    Don't be discouraged by all the people who tell you it's tacky.  It's YOUR wedding, so be happy and do what is best for you and your hubby to be.  Just today, one of the articles on theknot's homepage was the 10 etiquette rules that are outdated.  This very topic was mentioned.  Theknot certainly doesn't tell you no.

    I hope many guests contribute to your honeymoon registry, and enable you to have the honeymoon of your dreams.  You'll remember the honeymoon of your dreams a lot more than whoever calls you "tacky" on an anonymous message board. :)

     

    http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/planning-a-wedding/articles/10-wedding-rules-you-can-break.aspx?page=3


    You are a lost cause.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • carly324carly324 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    i'm a lost cause?????  you are on here ALL DAY!! i have 2 days that i have free to be on here and you are ALL OVER these boards..
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    carly324 said:
    i'm a lost cause?????  you are on here ALL DAY!! i have 2 days that i have free to be on here and you are ALL OVER these boards..

    Slow your roll. I wasnt referencing you, that is why I quoted SAH.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • mimiphinmimiphin member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2013
    KatWAG said:
    SAHoehle said:

    Don't be discouraged by all the people who tell you it's tacky.  It's YOUR wedding, so be happy and do what is best for you and your hubby to be.  Just today, one of the articles on theknot's homepage was the 10 etiquette rules that are outdated.  This very topic was mentioned.  Theknot certainly doesn't tell you no.

    I hope many guests contribute to your honeymoon registry, and enable you to have the honeymoon of your dreams.  You'll remember the honeymoon of your dreams a lot more than whoever calls you "tacky" on an anonymous message board. :)

     

    http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/planning-a-wedding/articles/10-wedding-rules-you-can-break.aspx?page=3


    You are a lost cause. Agreed!

    Oh sweet jesus!

    The Knot is in the business of making money, "We" are in the business of telling you if you are following etiquette and if your guests will/will not feel offended.
    image

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    SAHoehle said:

    Don't be discouraged by all the people who tell you it's tacky.  It's YOUR wedding, so be happy and do what is best for you and your hubby to be.  Just today, one of the articles on theknot's homepage was the 10 etiquette rules that are outdated.  This very topic was mentioned.  Theknot certainly doesn't tell you no.

    I hope many guests contribute to your honeymoon registry, and enable you to have the honeymoon of your dreams.  You'll remember the honeymoon of your dreams a lot more than whoever calls you "tacky" on an anonymous message board. :)

     

    http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/planning-a-wedding/articles/10-wedding-rules-you-can-break.aspx?page=3

    If you want to be rude to your guests by all means do whatever you want, but it would be nice if you stop giving out such horrid advice to other posters.

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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    carly324 said:
    i'm a lost cause?????  you are on here ALL DAY!! i have 2 days that i have free to be on here and you are ALL OVER these boards..
    Why are you getting shrill?



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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    carly324 said:
    i'm a lost cause?????  you are on here ALL DAY!! i have 2 days that i have free to be on here and you are ALL OVER these boards..
    No, you aren't a lost cause.  The reference was to a different poster.
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