Wedding Etiquette Forum

Fallout of the "Cash Bar" choice-Lurkers Please Read!!!!

I just wanted to express to all the newbies, lurkers, etc. that the ladies on these boards know what they are doing, and all the "special snowflakes" who have the illusion of "IT'S MY DAY, I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!!!" there are very real consequences to poor choices.

I went to a wedding this past weekend, which for the most part was very lovely.  Brides gown was lovely, beautiful centerpieces, hand tailored tuxes, etc.  Anyway, to EVERYONES shock, there was a cash bar for everything!  Guests were entering cocktail hour, of course they put cards on the table, signed the guest book, started mingling, etc. As the guests were making the rounds over to the bar, I saw so many people literally irate and embarrassed to be turned away at the bar because of the cash bar, and not many people carry cash anymore.  As the cocktail hour progressed, I would have to say about 75% of the guests had gone back to the card table, and literrally took the cash out of the couples cards to pay for their drinks!

After about a hour, word got back to the bride's parents that the guests were taking the cash out of the cards and all of a sudden I saw the MOB go up to the table and started frantically trying to gather up the cards to take them elsewhere.  The bride and groom arrived by this point, and next thing we heard instead of the "grand entrance" was the bride yelling at the top of her lungs.  Things went WAY downhill from there.....A lot of people left right after dinner (which was VERY good!).

Don't have a cash bar people.  It is rude, and people DO in fact care.  Listen to these ladies.  They know what they are talking about.  I did hear that the couple ended up with almost all empty cards, and a few boxed presents.  They were counting on a large amount of wedding money, so they charged a LOT of the wedding to credit cards.  They weren't able to go on a honeymoon, and now have insane debt.  The bride had the nerve to say the guests were rude for taking back their gifts.  I actually heard many tell her that she was the rude one for expecting people to pay for their own drinks. 

Just say no to cash bars ladies.  Just say no.

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Re: Fallout of the "Cash Bar" choice-Lurkers Please Read!!!!

  • hahaha what????
    this sounds like a terrible scene to watch
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • Who/what as the bride yelling at/about?
    photo composite_14153800476219.jpg
  • Omg I would of died what a sight. What did the bride yell
  • I never carry cash - I would absolutely have to pay for my drinks from what I put in the card for the bride and groom.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Makes me want to start putting cash in my cards instead of checks!  Yikes!  I hope that bride feels like the a**hole she is!
  • ^ bet she doesn't. She is probably still bitching she didn't get money.
  • I went to a wedding a few weeks ago where it was cash bar...people were clearly pissed off but atleast they took credit cards and had an ATM like directly next to the bar lol...if that were not the case I could easily see this same shit show occuring

  • I can't believe she was actually yelling though.  Wow.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Wow that bride is cray-cray.  


  • I don't think I would have taken my cash out of the envelope I brought for the B&G. I would have left to find an ATM. And I would have been pissed about having to do that. 
  • Wow, that's insane. DH and I would be up a creek without a drink all night if we ended up at a cash bar, since we hardly ever have cash on us and usually give either a boxed gift or a check for weddings.

    I can't believe the bride had the poor taste to complain to her guests about what they were doing!
    image
  • I do not carry cash and I always give a check in the card so I would have had no way to purchase any sort of drink whatsoever.  I probably would have asked for some tap water and left immediately after dinner.

  • eileenrob said:

    Yikes, that sounds terrible!  I would've needed a stiff drink if I'd been witnessing all of that! Oh the irony ;p

    It's tacky and rude to have a cash bar, and it's also tacky and rude to open your card and fish out your wedding gift!  So I guess the guests invited reflected the bride and groom!  I'll say it again: I need a drink just from hearing this story! 


    This.
  • arrippaarrippa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2013

    @allispain-I don't give cash at weddings, I always give a boxed gift.  I do however keep a $100.00 bill folded in my wallet at all times for emergencies.  Other than that, I never carry cash. 

    After the initial yelling she settled down a bit and tried to play it off, but it was clear the couple was pissed.   The bride is a colleague of DH, so he has been giving me daily updates.  As of yesterday, he said the couple was drafting a letter to mail to all the guests.  The long and short of the letter is an apology for the cash bar, and they would like their guests to reconsider their gift giving the sob story that their were depending on the wedding money to help cover the cost of the wedding.  He said they are planning to include a self address stamped envelope.  I told him to grab her aside, and tell her DO NOT DO THIS. 

    I just do not understand people.......

     

    Trapped in a box (but it's better than a closet)

    So after offending the guests at their wedding, they are now going to offend the guests after it? Wow, the cash bar is tacky enough but a letter basically saying give me the money that you spent on alcohol because we were terrible hosts, is over and beyond tacky. Have your DH direct the bride here. We will set her straight.

     

  • @allispain-I don't give cash at weddings, I always give a boxed gift.  I do however keep a $100.00 bill folded in my wallet at all times for emergencies.  Other than that, I never carry cash. 

    After the initial yelling she settled down a bit and tried to play it off, but it was clear the couple was pissed.   The bride is a colleague of DH, so he has been giving me daily updates.  As of yesterday, he said the couple was drafting a letter to mail to all the guests.  The long and short of the letter is an apology for the cash bar, and they would like their guests to reconsider their gift giving the sob story that their were depending on the wedding money to help cover the cost of the wedding.  He said they are planning to include a self address stamped envelope.  I told him to grab her aside, and tell her DO NOT DO THIS. 

    I just do not understand people.......

    Oh mah gah. It gets worse. She wants to send a letter along with a self addressed stamped envelope so that people can send them money!?!? I just can't. That's insane. 
  • Oh, did the couple have it coming.
  • I can't even believe this happened! What a terrible person. If I got a letter from her and her husband begging me for money I'd probably send it back with a penny in it.
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2013
    Damn where's my gif?
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