Trousseau Tea - posted originally on Customs & Traditions page

sunnysarahinNC · March 2011

Is anyone holding one? Here is an excerpt if you've never heard of one, my mom/grandmother recently brought it up as an idea (we are a HUGE southern family, 4th generation to be in the Charlotte area)

"So the Trousseau Tea is kind of like the culmination of all the showers a bride has had. It is an open house format, usually hosted by the mother of the bride, and guests are invited to the Trousseau Tea where all of the brides gifts are on display. This stems from a Victorian custom that involved showing off a bride’s trousseau, but today, it’s a bit more a thank you to guests and an opportunity to celebrate together once more before the wedding."

i'd be curious to hear your experience of your own or attending someone else's. most of my family and friends will be arriving Thursday before our Saturday wedding, and I thought it might be a fun way to get together.

pirategal03 · March 2011

I've never heard of this, and my family's been in the South for a few more than 4 generations.

I think it's a potential logistical annoyance because:
a) You'd have to get all of those gifts together and
2) display them without making Great-Aunt Gertrude's flowerpot look less exciting than that cappuccino machine and
iii) not leave any out and
4) potentially not return any that you may receive early (and then potentially be stuck with something if it's purchased way early) and
e) potentially make your guests realize that three of them gave you the same crock-pot and
VI) pack them all up again in the final hours before your wedding

And who needs all of that? I think the tea at home is a fabulous idea, just leave the gifts out of it.

tarheelbabs · March 2011

I've had a lot of friends get married over the past two decades +--many long time NC natives. Never heard of it. Also, none have displayed their gifts. I have heard of that, but no one of my generation--and my generation is likely your mom's--that I know has done it. I think it was a lovely custom that has probably past.

sksites · March 2011

Never heard of it either and we have 4 generations here in the south

meredithl618 · March 2011

Some people also call them Sip and Sees or Sip 'n Sees.

But, that being said, I'm not a big fan of them and I've never been to one. If you google search, you will see that it's traditional in some circles, but most people haven't heard of them/think it's a weird thing to do.

uneek1323 · March 2011

Pirategal makes a lot of good points up there. Just seems like an unnecessary headache.

elcobb · March 2011

I don't really think NC is "deep" south enough-- I have only heard of one person I know who had one, and that wedding was in Mississippi or Alabama or something like that. Basically a giant snoot fest in one of the female relative's antebellum mansions...

Getting everyone together before the wedding is certainly a great idea, but parading them through your gift museum is probably not the way to go. Do you have any fun local events you could possibly all attend together?

tarheelbabs · March 2011

What about a larger bridesmaids' lunch or rehearsal dinner--or both--including more of your out of town guests? Those are the options we're going with to include more people.

Beth0882 · March 2011

We opened and put our presents away as soon as we got them because I did not want a huge pile of gifts somewhere taking up space and making me crazy, so that would not have worked for me! I also think it would be a little wierd to say, come see all the presents we got!

NcsuPsych · March 2011

Honestly, if I were invited to something like this, I'd feel like the person it was for was 'AW-ing' kind of like 'Looky Looky what I got!'.

I think a lunch would be more appropriate or go have a picnic at one of the lakes. The weather is amazing now and that has the potential to be so much more fun than starring at someone elses gifts.

FWIW, I've never heard of this before either.

bynumgarraway · April 2011

My family is pretty southern, Western NC and GA, since forever. I have heard of sip & see's and have had a few family members hold them. I rank them right up there with debutant balls... unnecessary and very snooty. Though I was in a debuatabt ball as a teen, I think the sip 'n see is a little much. Plus I agree with all of the issues listed before.

Trousseau Tea - posted originally on Customs & Traditions page

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