November 2013 Weddings

insecurities . . .

I'm starting to feel the pressure of the whole day and it's coming out in my insecurities about how I look.  I'm a bigger girl, so I don't ever really feel comfortable with pictures or being the center of attention.  Somehow, it wasn't until this evening, 11 days out from the wedding we have been planning for a year, that I began to worry about being the center of attention and all the pictures that will be taken of me that day.  I'm having an "I'm ugly" breakdown!  I'm worried that the dress is going to be too tight, that my hair isn't going to look right with my face shape, etc . . . 

Nothing to be done about it.  I'm just venting.  Sorry for the late night pity party.  

Re: insecurities . . .

  • I know what you mean, after my final fitting I wasn't 100% happy with my dress. I'm going to try it on again and hope that with the right help of putting on my bra it will feel better.

    Have you had a trial appointment for your hair? Did you like it? If so, just trust that your stylist can make your hair look perfect, and you will feel beautiful on your wedding day. To your dress worries, I'd say put it on and reassure yourself that it still fits. And if not, you're still 11 days out, there is still a little bit of time. And don't worry, you'll only be 75% the center of attention, your FI will have 25% of the attention on him! You are marrying the love of your life, and that is all you need to focus on. Doesn't that always seem to be the way, when everyone else is asleep or it's too late to call someone is when the pity parties happen, but it's early still on the west coast, so not a late night pity party here!


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  • I understand how you feel; Our ceremony and reception will be a very simple, rustic event, and I worry that guests won't feel like everything is "classy" enough for a wedding. I shouldn't really care as long as I'm happy with it, I know, but the thought still bothers me. :(
  • I totally understand where you are coming from! i am bigger too and i hate the way i look in photos and usually am shy so with all this attention being on me here lately i dont know how to handle it! and im starting to get nervous about being in front of everyone!
  • Thanks for the comments, ladies.  It's so nice to have somewhere to go where people are going through the same things.  Makes me feel a lot less crazy . . .
  • @cedixon0 I am sure you will look beautiful on your big day and the best part is you are marrying your fiance :) 

    People will be so happy to celebrate you and I bet you will be on cloud 9 the whole time anyways! 
  • @mrspizanotobe - thanks for the kind words.  I know the most important thing is that I'm getting marry my FI, who for unknown reasons loves and adores me despite my craziness.  :)  I think it's just jitters popping up.  Not cold feet, there is nothing I am more sure of than spending my life with this wonderful man, just jitters of such a big event.  Thank you for the uplifting message though - you ladies are wonderful!
  • @cedixon0 - I'm right there with ya, girl on the bigger bride thing. It's a crazy haze of insecurities over here too... I've been recuperating from a bad cold for a week and so, of course, haven't gotten to the gym and been eating crappy food. Blech! But tonight's my hair trial, and I'm hoping that will make me feel better about everything!

    I'm definitely not used to being the center of attention (totally awkward at my shower!) either - I'm just trying to focus on the fun stuff (we're getting presents in the mail already! Picking out linens!). 

    My big fear is that, since I'm having a Jewish wedding, people will be lifting me and FI up in chairs during the hora...and I'm worried people won't be able to lift me! 
  • @dramamonkey - I can totally understand that fear!  You're a brave woman for even contemplating.  But I'm sure that it will be fine and you will be having so much fun you won't even remember to be worried! Hope you feel better soon and let us know how the hair trial goes!
  • @cedixon0 Oh, there will be pictures!
  • I totally understand, My hair and face are a mess and I have a double chin so I hate taking pictures too. Hang in there! Not much longer and I know you will have a wonderful day!
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  • Had my final fitting and left almost in tears.  The dress has to be tight up top so it doesn't fall since it's so heavy, but the tightness is giving my back fat.  I'm right there with ya girl.
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  • @dramamonkey - where are our pictures???

    @hockeywithadiamond - I had the same problem.  someone should have warned me about strapless dresses.  I finally decided to do a little lace jacket to cover it up, cause I was so unhappy about the back fat.  I thought I would hate the lace jacket and that it screamed "I'm covering up my fat arms/back!" but I ended up really liking it.
  • WonderRedWonderRed member
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    edited October 2013
    My seamstress showed me a trick for the strapless back fat thing.  She took two fingers on each hand and, after I was all zipped up, put them into my dress right at the zipper and ran them slowly out towards my arms. Did it a few times and most of that fat roll went away.

    I'm having serious insecurities about my age and feeling like I look it, and beyond, these days.  Sometime in the last three years I feel like I aged ten.  I'm obsessed with my face routine these days and being a bride again is causing me have a hard time dealing with this cycle of life.  I still think of FI and I as being in our 20's, since that's when we met and I remember it so vividly, so it's just weird to me when I look in the mirror and I'm clearly not.

    (((HUGS))) and hair pats all around.  I'm sure we'll all 100% wrong and will all be glowing and beautiful.
  • @cedixon0 as promised: 

    The first one (with the sort of snaky braid) is what we're going with  - but my hair still needs to get cut (about 2 inches, plus cutting my bangs back in) and colored, but that's still 2 weeks away. 

  • PS, ladies, got the hair combs *there are two different ones* on for hella cheap and i was very impressed with the sparklyness of them: 

  • @dramamonkey - I LOVE the first one.  And, your hair is gorgeous.  Congrats on getting that knocked out of the way!

    @wonderred - I am sure you are going to be glowing with so much happiness that you will look 10 years younger than you are anyways, so don't worry.  We're all going to be gorgeous.  We have to be.  We're brides.
  • i love the first
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