Ever since my FI and I got engaged in May, my FMIL and FSIL have been thorns in my side. When we first started planning our wedding, we were going to have an afternoon reception, starting at 1pm and ending at 6pm. She DEMANDED that we have an evening reception that started at 6pm and went to 11pm. She then said that she would pay the difference (about 2500) so she could have her evening reception. FI and I said fine, if you are going to pay for the difference, we will have the evening reception. We brought my Mom and FMIL to see the reception venue. My Mom fell in love with the space and all that it had to offer. FMIL was a grump and said that she wasn't thrilled with it and we should change our venue to a different venue. To which we said NO because we had already booked and paid the deposit for the venue, not to mention we were getting a good discount, etc. She didn't like our answer, but of course FI said that this is OUR wedding and all she did was pay for the difference. She backed off. HOWEVER, after we saw the venue with her, she started demanding that we use FSIL's centerpieces (silk flowers - different shades of blue) and use her bouquets for the wedding. We said that we would think about it - which turned into me booking a florist ASAP because I was not going to be carrying FSIL's flowers on my wedding day. Not to mention, the colors are NO WHERE near my color scheme. Yes, I have blue but not that cornflower blue (or whatever the name of that god forsaken color is). Then after booking the florist, FMIL and FSIL started asking me if I was going to use the centerpieces and bouquets. They had pulled them out of the storage box in the basement of FMIL's house and had them out in the dining room one day that I went over. I apologized and said that FI and I had booked a florist to do our flowers and that while I would have loved to use her flowers, the venue supplies the centerpieces (to which FMIL was FULLY aware of) and that I wanted different flowers all together for my bouquets.
A few weeks after all of this, we went bridesmaid dress shopping. I had asked FSIL to be a bridesmaid because I felt it would be nice to include FI's sister. The entire time that FSIL and FMIL were with me and my girls, including my Mom, they sat off to the side, talking with each other and not talking with the other girls or my Mom. First, I consider that rude and completely disrespectful. Someone invites you to be apart of their day, you agree and then shut yourself off from the other girls involved in the wedding party? Seriously? My sister, who is my MOH, thought it was odd but chalked it up to them not knowing my girls, even though we introduced them at lunch that same day......and I thought they were getting along smoothly then. Hah. FSIL and FMIL complained that the dress that all of the girls decided and agreed upon was too "sexy." How in the hell is a full length satin halter gown, too "sexy?" I don't get it....
My sister planned my surprise bridal shower with my SIL who is also a BM. My sister asked FMIL and FSIL what they would like to do to contribute and their response was "Bake some brownies and some cupcakes." My sister was looking for more help than that....like help with setting up the night before, etc. No, they couldn't be bothered because they had to work....HELLO!!!! MY entire bridal party works for a living and has requested time off to be apart of my special day, and don't complain one bit. I'm sure they do complain, but it's not like I'm demanding them to take multiple days off. I always schedule things when I know that the girls all have off. None of the other BM's complain about anything AT ALL. I guess it's because I have mostly family as apart of my bridal party...I have one very good girl friend of 20+ years as a bridesmaid but my side consists of my sister, SIL, cousin, FSIL and my girlfriend.
Anyhow...to continue. I am going to have my nephew (SIL's son) as a ring bearer. FI and I decided that we would also include his nephew (FSIL's son) to be a ring bearer as well. We hadn't discussed this with FSIL as we were going to wait until Christmas and ask then. That way we can see how our nephews responded off one another, etc. My nephew is 3 and is extremely bright...he talks and has conversations with you...where as his nephew turns 2 on Oct. 31st and doesn't talk at all. There is a definite learning curve between the two of them. But that's besides the point. FSIL constantly brings up the ring bearers and says that she can't wait to have her son walk down the aisle as our ring bearer. We haven't even asked them if he could be a ring bearer yet!!!!! She keeps saying that she knows he's going to be a ring bearer because her brother wouldn't let her down like that. Um, hello, it's not just HIS decision! My SIL isn't like that but she already knows my nephew will be a ring bearer because I had discussed it with her already (which FI is fully aware of) since we wanted her to be ready for that expense as well. We have a feeling that FSIL is going to flip a lid when she realizes she has to shell out even more money for this wedding.
On top of everything else FMIL and FSIL think we should introduce FMIL as she is walking into the reception. FI and I already decided to save on time, and not to hurt anyone's feelings, we would only have the bridal party introduced as they are walking in...we would introduce the parents while they were at their tables. See, FMIL and FFIL are divorced. FFIL is remarried and FMIL #2 (who is AWESOME by the way) are not liked by FSIL or FMIL. So, we are making it so I don't have to worry about FMIL's feelings getting hurt when I say that I want FMIL and FFIL to walk in together and be introduced as "Mother and Father of the groom." With having them already seated we can point out Mom & Dad of groom and Step mother as well. Makes sense to FI and I.
FMIL also has demanded that she sit with her brother and NOT with FFIL and FMIL#2. I originally wanted my parents to sit with FMIL, FFIL and FMIL#2 at one table. But NOOOO because FMIL can't be a GROWN UP for one day, put aside her negative feelings (which I completely understand why she has them but seriously, get over yourself for one friggin day!) and sit with the people I want you to sit with, she gets her way....AGAIN! She pulled the "I'm paying for part of the reception" card...when in reality the $ she is giving us is going to taxes/service charge and gratuity.
To top everything off, FMIL wants us to ORDER our invites from an outside source and have these imprinted flowers on them, with her name listed on the invitation. I said NO to FI and FI I agreed with me, thank god. FI and I are hosting our wedding, as we are paying for 95% of the wedding ourselves. So no parents names are going to be on the invites. She will be recognized in the program, but not on the invite. Not to mention FMIL is basically wanting me to do everything HER way. She doesn't like where we plan to have our rehearsal dinner, but she isn't paying for it so it's not her decision. We are getting a great price from our local bar/grill/bowling alley as FI works there part time (aside from his FT job) and the owner's son is in the wedding party, so it was an easy decision. She doesn't like it and wants us to have it at the local polish/american club across the street from the church. NO thank you. Only way that will change is if she offers to pay for it. We already have our idea set, and it's a rather good and inexpensive (with awesome food and drinks) plan too.
Sorry this has gotten soooo long. FMIL is the bane of my existence. FSIL irks me at every turn....I won't even get into how she is raising her son....**rolls eyes**
I just can't wait for our wedding day to get here, so I can tell FMIL and FSIL where to go with out being made out to be a bitch. It's my day dammit...you do as I say!!!!!