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Not close to anyone.... Bridal Party Problems

jennibec1979jennibec1979 member
First Comment
in Wedding Party

I am completely lost...

I don't have close friends and the only family member I am close with just backed out as MOH due to money issues.  I've read some of the other posts about ask people you could call at 3am to help you bury a body... well she was the only person I could think of but she's not an option now.  I have sisters but they live in Oklahoma (and I'm in Iowa) and I don't think they will actually come to the wedding so I haven't asked them.  I just don't know what to do... any suggestions to get my brain unstuck and thinking in the right direction would be greatly appreciated!!!

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Re: Not close to anyone.... Bridal Party Problems

  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 5 Answers 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    Do you want your sisters? If so, ask them. They'll accept or decline, but you'll never know unless you ask.
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  • jennibec1979jennibec1979 member
    First Comment
    Not really because I get along with each of them but they don't get along with each other.
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  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Can you make it so that your original maid of honor can afford it? If nnot, I wouldn't sweat it. If no oneb rise comes to mind, you can decide not to,hsve bridesmaids.
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  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I can't edit on my phone, just letting you know that's why my post my not make sense. I meant to say, "if no one immediately comes to mind".
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  • Doesntplaynice82Doesntplaynice82 member
    25 Love Its Name Dropper 10 Comments
    I'm kind of in the same boat...you don't have to have a wedding party. I don't want to look back at my pictures and feel like my bridesmaid's are strangers.
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    5 Answers First Anniversary 500 Love Its 2500 Comments
    You don't have to have a wedding party...but being in a wedding shouldn't be expensive.

    Can she not get off from work? (understandable)

    Or were you expecting her to pay for things (dress, shoes, hair/makeup, travel, parties for you) that aren't in her budget?
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  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    First Anniversary 2500 Comments First Answer 500 Love Its
    itzMS said:
    You don't have to have a wedding party...but being in a wedding shouldn't be expensive. Can she not get off from work? (understandable) Or were you expecting her to pay for things (dress, shoes, hair/makeup, travel, parties for you) that aren't in her budget?
    This.

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  • delujm0delujm0 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper

    Agree with previous - why can't the MOH afford it?  Is it that she can't afford to get to the wedding at all, even as a guest, or is it that you're asking her to buy things that she can't afford?  If you really want her there, you can offer to pay for her attire so that she can still participate - or, since she was your only BM anyway, you can let her just wear whatever dress she already has laying around (maybe a black or tan one, so that you can get flowers in your colors to match).

     

    If it's that she can't afford to go to the wedding at all, because the travel is expensive, or she has to work, there's not much you can do.  It sounds like you don't want anyone else, and in this case it is completely fine to not have a bridal party.

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  • clg1213clg1213 member
    First Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper 100 Comments
    I don't have any advice, but just sending some hugs.  While I do have 3 girls chosen, I sometimes do feel like I don't have the level of GF that others do.....and it kinda stinks.  Sometimes I'm fine with it, I'm a bit of a loner and happy with FI as my main "person."  But other times I just wish I had the bonds some others do. This may be totally inappropriate and it may not be an issue for you at all, but just sending a note that you aren't alone in not having your SATC-style group. 
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    Fourth Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Answers 500 Love Its
    jennibec1979 said:
    Not really because I get along with each of them but they don't get along with each other.
    Is this why you don't think they'll attend your wedding?  Because that's a pretty crappy reason.  And if you asked them to be in your wedding party and they said no because they can't get along, that's pretty crappy too.  

    Why did your MOH back out?  If she can afford to come to the wedding as a guest and you really want her as MOH, just let her wear a dress/shoes/accessories she owns.  Otherwise, a bridal party is not necessary.  Even if your FI has people on his side, it's not a requirement for your side.
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  • jennibec1979jennibec1979 member
    First Comment

    I hadn't asked her to buy anything so far.  I don't even have dresses picked out or anything (not even mine).  I asked if she would still be my MOH if I paid for the dress, hair, etc... and she hasn't given me an answer yet, so I'm hoping she says yes.  Thank You to everyone for their pearls of wisdom so far!!!

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  • jennibec1979jennibec1979 member
    First Comment
    clg1213- that's exactly how it is for me... you weren't inappropriate at all.
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  • MadHops21MadHops21 member
    500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    clg1213 said:
    I don't have any advice, but just sending some hugs.  While I do have 3 girls chosen, I sometimes do feel like I don't have the level of GF that others do.....and it kinda stinks.  Sometimes I'm fine with it, I'm a bit of a loner and happy with FI as my main "person."  But other times I just wish I had the bonds some others do. This may be totally inappropriate and it may not be an issue for you at all, but just sending a note that you aren't alone in not having your SATC-style group. 
    This is exactly me. I have one BFF but she's away at college and rarely talk to. My FI is really the only one I talk to and hang out with. It helps with I keep busy now with full time work and school, but it's still lonely when I can't talk to my BFF. 
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    Second Anniversary 5000 Comments First Answer 500 Love Its
    Yep, +1 on this post.  I have several girls I'm close to and will be BMs, but recently they've all moved away and it's really tough.  I have one in Australia, one in Spain, another in a different state a few hours away.  It's hard when you want to pick up the phone and call your best friend about something that just happened, but you realize it's 4AM her time.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • Auglaize14Auglaize14 member
    Second Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its 10 Comments
    Kelcita21 said:
    clg1213 said:
    I don't have any advice, but just sending some hugs.  While I do have 3 girls chosen, I sometimes do feel like I don't have the level of GF that others do.....and it kinda stinks.  Sometimes I'm fine with it, I'm a bit of a loner and happy with FI as my main "person."  But other times I just wish I had the bonds some others do. This may be totally inappropriate and it may not be an issue for you at all, but just sending a note that you aren't alone in not having your SATC-style group. 
    This is exactly me. I have one BFF but she's away at college and rarely talk to. My FI is really the only one I talk to and hang out with. It helps with I keep busy now with full time work and school, but it's still lonely when I can't talk to my BFF. 
    I'm in the same boat. Although my sister will be my MOH, I only have three friends that I am close enough with to ask to be my bridesmaids. Even though I've been friends with them for a long time, I don't have a BFF-like relationship with any of them. I haven't asked any of them yet, and frankly, I'm scared that one or more of them will say no. I have no one else :/

    Anyway, I digress...just I wanted to let you know you're not alone in your situation. :)
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  • clarke10clarke10 member
    250 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary 100 Comments
    I think offering to pay for her attire is a great idea. Hopefully that works out!
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  • Bruins63Bruins63 member
    100 Comments Name Dropper 25 Love Its
    Kelcita21 said:
    clg1213 said:
    I don't have any advice, but just sending some hugs.  While I do have 3 girls chosen, I sometimes do feel like I don't have the level of GF that others do.....and it kinda stinks.  Sometimes I'm fine with it, I'm a bit of a loner and happy with FI as my main "person."  But other times I just wish I had the bonds some others do. This may be totally inappropriate and it may not be an issue for you at all, but just sending a note that you aren't alone in not having your SATC-style group. 
    This is exactly me. I have one BFF but she's away at college and rarely talk to. My FI is really the only one I talk to and hang out with. It helps with I keep busy now with full time work and school, but it's still lonely when I can't talk to my BFF. 

    Thank goodness- I thought I was the only one!! I literally left a wedding one night and on the car ride home with my fiance (we weren't engaged yet) I bust out in tears because I only have one close friend and I no one will care about my wedding, and I wish I had the 8 best friends that the bride that night had. I literally had a nervous breakdown and was jealous of her friendships. Now that I am engaged, I've got my one best friend as MOH and she goes to medical school in the freakin Caribbean so she's not here to plan any of it with me. It's sad but nothing you can do except cherish that one friend to death and move on with life lol

    You should do anything possible like paying so that she can be in it, but as your best friend she should also be willing to do anything to be a part of it- like my friend paying $1,000 to fly home from the Caribbean because she loves me that much and knows she's all I've got!

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