Register for just what you need. If you have a minimal registry people will notice and get the hint. You can also spread the word by mouth that you are saving for a house. Please do not ask for money it is not cute in any way.
My fiance is totally against the idea of registering - totally understandably. We've lived together for two years. He moved out of his parents house just a few months before we moved in together, and when he did he bought most of what he needed brand new. I haven't lived at my parents' house for seven years, so I've accumulated a lot of new and used things since then. When we moved into the place we're in now, we replaced a lot of the things that needed replacing. So really, there's not much (if there's anything) that we NEED.
He thinks we should just ask for money for our "house-buying fund" (we're renting) in lieu of gifts. I think if you do it in a cute way, it's not rude... and we really DO need to add to said house-fund! The majority of our guests (the ones we're closer to, anyway) know this and can probably accept that. But there are always those people who think it's bad taste to give money as a gift and insist on bringing something physical instead (or as well).
I've been on the fence about registering since we got engaged. I think we should register for a small amount of things - stuff we could always use, like towels, sheets, etc... and stuff that will need to be replaced. That way we can avoid people who barely know us bringing some crazy gift that we'd have no idea what to do with! My fiance worries that if we register for even a small amount of things, than no one will help with the money at all. I just can't convince him! Of course we would prefer money as gifts, but there are always guests who will disagree, or will want to give a gift as well... so both can work, right?
I'm not sure of how we can let our guests know that we are saving for a house and money would be the perfect gift for us, and I'm not sure of how to convince my husband-to-be that we CAN do both!
Asking for money, whether it be in a cute poem or however, is ALWAYS rude. Period.
Make a small registry of items, like you said, you could always use or need to be replaced for those guests that prefer to give a box gift over a cash gift. Then when people ask where you are registered you can say "oh we are registered at X but we are also trying to save up to buy a house in the future."
People are not dumb. They know money is a well accepted gift so they certainly do not need to be told that you would prefer money over anything else.
If the majority of your guests know you are saving for a house, as you said, they will probably give you money. To think that it would be okay to tell them, in any way, that you only want money, is super mega rude.
I said this to another poster recently. You may not NEED anything now, but think about the future.
DH & I registered for and received nice gifts like a Calphalon roaster pan, sets of every size and type of bar glasses, champagne glasses, and serving/entertaining pieces. You can always use nice sheets and towels, too, as they can be stored in vacuum spacesaver bags until your current ones wear out.
We didn't NEED anything, but we will in the future as we start our family and entertain more and more in our home.
Some guests just love to give physical boxed gifts. Better to get things you like than something random...
Even you do it in a "cute" way, it is still rude because you're just asking for the same thing in a different way.
What you CAN do is have a small registry - like you said - with towels, sheets and stuff that you'll for sure use and wears out over time. If people ask you, let them know you're "saving up for XYZ". People get it.
Hey, I'm trying to save for a house also - want to help me?
No. No, you don't. See how it's not ok? I'm especially adverse to this when the excuse is "we need to buy a house." No you don't need to buy a house. The 2008 crash happened because people who shouldn't have been homeowners became homeowners. If you can't afford the down payment right now, then you save until you can. I spend most of my time on the money matters board over on the nest these days. It's a great place to get support when you're trying to reach financial goals. Those ladies can give you all sorts of financial tips to save more money.
I'm not trying to be harsh, just honest. Your guests are not obligated to fund your house downpayment. Also? If you DID get enough cash to top off your downpayment, the bank is going to ask you where that money came from. Money does not just magically appear, and banks know that. They will look back at your accounts for a few months and will absolutely notice than in month 1 you had $10,000 saved, and in month 2 you had $11,000 saved, and suddenly in month 3 you had $20,000 saved. They will ask you how that happened, and telling them it's wedding gift money will not give the bank confidence that you can afford the house you want to buy.
You should make a small registry. People like me don't give cash. That might frustrate you, but my perspective is that a gift is at the discretion of the giver. If you have a registry I will follow it, because I do want to give you something you would use. However, I will not give you cash because it's not my preferred gift to give.
Also? You need to accept right now that you will get physical gifts you didn't ask for. H and I had a very extensive registry, and we still received plenty of gifts off-registry. Some were a little strange, but most were amazing. My parents got us this gorgeous lladro figurine. My H's uncle restored an antique "anniversary clock" that you wind once a year on your anniversary. Another guest hand embroidered pillow cases for us in colors that would match our bedding. One of my bridesmaids had calling cards made for us with our married name (calling cards are still a thing in my circle). These were all incredible gifts.
Take a step back and try to recognize that being a married adult means that you are responsible for providing your own lifestyle. Guests are not obligated to do that for you. Try to get your H to stop worrying about it - you will get a ton of gifts, both physical and monetary, and it's really much more pleasant to be happy when people give you things instead of disappointed that they weren't exactly the things you wanted.
We did not resister. Our gift breakdown was 75% cash or check. 20% gift cards. 5% random physical gifts. We did not ask for cash in any way shape or form. When people asked we actually told them if they wanted to get us a gift they could choose whatever they wanted but no gift was necessary. People know cash is an appreciated gift, you don't need to tell them. And never do so in a cute poem. GL!
Hey, I'm trying to save for a house also - want to help me?
No. No, you don't. See how it's not ok? I'm especially adverse to this when the excuse is "we need to buy a house." No you don't need to buy a house. The 2008 crash happened because people who shouldn't have been homeowners became homeowners. If you can't afford the down payment right now, then you save until you can. I spend most of my time on the money matters board over on the nest these days. It's a great place to get support when you're trying to reach financial goals. Those ladies can give you all sorts of financial tips to save more money.
I'm not trying to be harsh, just honest. Your guests are not obligated to fund your house downpayment. Also? If you DID get enough cash to top off your downpayment, the bank is going to ask you where that money came from. Money does not just magically appear, and banks know that. They will look back at your accounts for a few months and will absolutely notice than in month 1 you had $10,000 saved, and in month 2 you had $11,000 saved, and suddenly in month 3 you had $20,000 saved. They will ask you how that happened, and telling them it's wedding gift money will not give the bank confidence that you can afford the house you want to buy.
You should make a small registry. People like me don't give cash. That might frustrate you, but my perspective is that a gift is at the discretion of the giver. If you have a registry I will follow it, because I do want to give you something you would use. However, I will not give you cash because it's not my preferred gift to give.
Also? You need to accept right now that you will get physical gifts you didn't ask for. H and I had a very extensive registry, and we still received plenty of gifts off-registry. Some were a little strange, but most were amazing. My parents got us this gorgeous lladro figurine. My H's uncle restored an antique "anniversary clock" that you wind once a year on your anniversary. Another guest hand embroidered pillow cases for us in colors that would match our bedding. One of my bridesmaids had calling cards made for us with our married name (calling cards are still a thing in my circle). These were all incredible gifts.
Take a step back and try to recognize that being a married adult means that you are responsible for providing your own lifestyle. Guests are not obligated to do that for you. Try to get your H to stop worrying about it - you will get a ton of gifts, both physical and monetary, and it's really much more pleasant to be happy when people give you things instead of disappointed that they weren't exactly the things you wanted.
I don't actually know how this works with the bank, but I know for sure that the bolded is true. Our mortgage is in DH's name (I'm on the title, but only his name is on the loan). I gave him half our down payment in cash and had to fill out forms proving I had the money. It was NBD and just part of the process, but it's definitely something they look at.
Ugh, no matter how you word it, (cute or not), it's going to come off as a cash grab! Make your small registry with things you can always use, as you mentioned, and leave it at that. Most guests will get what you're 'getting at', but you don't need to say it, in any way. We had a medium sized registry at 2 different places, that we made for the shower & the wedding. Obviously, you're going to get mostly gifts, if not, only gifts at the shower, but for us, even with the registries, we got like 95% cash, vs gifts at the wedding. Even with the registries. I think you should just be happy with what you get regardless, & realize, it's not about how much money you're going to make, to put towards 'X' anyways. What people want to give you, will be what they give you. Whether it's cash or gifts. If you don't have a big enough registry, and a guest wants to give you a gift & not cash, they'll just end up buying you what they think you'd like. So might as well make a registry with things you need/want, and worry about saving for your house yourself, and if you receive cash to help with that, then great. I just find it rude otherwise.
My fiance is totally against the idea of registering - totally understandably. We've lived together for two years. He moved out of his parents house just a few months before we moved in together, and when he did he bought most of what he needed brand new. I haven't lived at my parents' house for seven years, so I've accumulated a lot of new and used things since then. When we moved into the place we're in now, we replaced a lot of the things that needed replacing. So really, there's not much (if there's anything) that we NEED.
He thinks we should just ask for money for our "house-buying fund" (we're renting) in lieu of gifts. I think if you do it in a cute way, it's not rude... and we really DO need to add to said house-fund! The majority of our guests (the ones we're closer to, anyway) know this and can probably accept that. But there are always those people who think it's bad taste to give money as a gift and insist on bringing something physical instead (or as well).
I've been on the fence about registering since we got engaged. I think we should register for a small amount of things - stuff we could always use, like towels, sheets, etc... and stuff that will need to be replaced. That way we can avoid people who barely know us bringing some crazy gift that we'd have no idea what to do with! My fiance worries that if we register for even a small amount of things, than no one will help with the money at all. I just can't convince him! Of course we would prefer money as gifts, but there are always guests who will disagree, or will want to give a gift as well... so both can work, right?
I'm not sure of how we can let our guests know that we are saving for a house and money would be the perfect gift for us, and I'm not sure of how to convince my husband-to-be that we CAN do both!
He doesn't want to register so don't. Don't ask for money, however, as there's no way to do it that isn't rude, including cute poems. Just spread the word that you are saving for a house. When people ask you or your parents or your sibs or your WP when kind of gifts you want, just ask them to reply that you have everything you need and that you are saving up for a house.
Either don't register, or make a small registry for upgrades you mentioned (sheets, towels, etc). When people ask you can tell them you're saving for a house.
There is no cute way to ask for money. Asking for money, gift cards or cash registry is rude no matter how you phrase it. People are not stupid. They already know money is a great gift and don't need you to remind them. Small registry for people who prefer to give boxed gifts and others will give cash if they want to.
Agree with everyone else, there is NO cute way to ask for money.
I also agree that you should register for a few new things. You WILL need new sheets one day, things like that.
My BFF's DD's shower was last weekend. They registered at Target and Walmart. 32 people were there and 90% of the shower was things not on the registries. She did receive some nice things but I am a registry shopper and was a bit surprised.
The most surprising gift was a set of wine glasses. The groom is a worship leader at a spirit filled Pentecostal church. There won't be ANY alcohol in that home! I guess you do need festive glasses for your Diet Coke sometimes, though, right? See where I am going here?
Put a small registry together. Show your FI this thread to help convince him why this is a good idea. Also, your mom's and gossipy aunts and g'ma's (if they would do it right) can always let people know you guys are saving for a house.
My BFF found a way to let me know the kids really are hoping for money so that is what I will do for them. Skip the cute poem as it WILL offend people and there are better ways to get the word out.
We were having the same problem! We already have almost everything that we need. We ended up deciding to register for a few things and opening a "Honey Fund" account. It is a customized website account that guests can go to give you money for your honeymoon. Since our honeymoon is already set up, we decided that we can use that money to recoup some of our wedding expenses and hopefully there is some left over to help with a down payment on a house.
We were having the same problem! We already have almost everything that we need. We ended up deciding to register for a few things and opening a "Honey Fund" account. It is a customized website account that guests can go to give you money for your honeymoon. Since our honeymoon is already set up, we decided that we can use that money to recoup some of our wedding expenses and hopefully there is some left over to help with a down payment on a house.
Let me get this straight, not only are you asking for cash in the form of a HM registry (rude) and letting Honeyfund charge your guests fees they probably don't know about (rude) - you are lying to them about what the money is going to?? That's really rude!
Good news is you might have time to delete it and not offend your guests
PSA: Honeymoon registries are incredible tacky and in poor taste. Just say no to HM registries!
We were having the same problem! We already have almost everything that we need. We ended up deciding to register for a few things and opening a "Honey Fund" account. It is a customized website account that guests can go to give you money for your honeymoon. Since our honeymoon is already set up, we decided that we can use that money to recoup some of our wedding expenses and hopefully there is some left over to help with a down payment on a house.
So you are blatantly asking for cash, lying about what the cash will be used for, and having your guests subsidize your wedding?
Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
We were having the same problem! We already have almost everything that we need. We ended up deciding to register for a few things and opening a "Honey Fund" account. It is a customized website account that guests can go to give you money for your honeymoon. Since our honeymoon is already set up, we decided that we can use that money to recoup some of our wedding expenses and hopefully there is some left over to help with a down payment on a house.
Setting aside the problems with honeymoon registries in general, I need to make sure I'm understanding what you're doing here. You are asking your guests to pay for your honeymoon, even though you have already paid for the honeymoon, so you are going to use that money to pay your bills instead?
We were having the same problem! We already have almost everything that we need. We ended up deciding to register for a few things and opening a "Honey Fund" account. It is a customized website account that guests can go to give you money for your honeymoon. Since our honeymoon is already set up, we decided that we can use that money to recoup some of our wedding expenses and hopefully there is some left over to help with a down payment on a house.
Perfect example of why HM registries are such a bad idea. This is beyond rude and incredibly deceitful to your guest. What are you going to tell people when they find out the money they gave you for your HM was used for something else? If someone lied to me like that, it would be the end of the relationship for sure.
I am trying to imagine a “cute” way
to ask for money. A picture of baby penguins hugging on an iceberg,
with a caption saying “help us build our new igloo?”
I hope not. And I really hope you don't
mean a little rhyming poem. Hiding a request for money in bad poetry
is making a bad thing worse. Here is an imagined example:
When sending your love to
the bride and groom
You may help them move out
of their rented room.
You have extra money, and
we have none.
Whip out that checkbook
and give us some!
Your wedding isn't a charity
fundraiser. That's the only time that you send someone an invitation
to an event with the expectation that if they accept, they should
give money.
If I receive a wedding
invitation asking for money in any
“clever” disguise (gift cards, honeymoon funds, etc.) I'm
offended. I feel as if I've been added to the headcount of their
fundraiser, just for that purpose.
No matter what you do, or
where you register, or how gracefully you let people know (never on
an invitation, and only when asked...maybe on a website, but even
that makes me a little uncomfortable) you will probably receive a
horrendous gift that some well meaning and misguided guest thinks is
wonderful, because those fools are operating under the old fashioned
idea that a gift should be personal, and that any gift given
with love and good intention will be accepted with the same.
If this terrible and tragic thing
happens to you, the correct action is to write a thank you letter. I
had to write one that went sort of like this:
Dear Great Aunt Lena;
John and I thank you so much
for the thoughtful wedding present! I have never before seen a broom
with arms and a head! And her dress is made of such bright and
cheerful fabric. It made me smile to think of you choosing her for
us, and that you remembered how much I love flowered dresses. John is very taken with her- he displayed her in the dining room even before I was finished unpacking.
Miss Broom will always have
a special place in our house, and every time I see her it reminds me
of you, and how much I love you. Thank you for taking the time to
think of us. Know that I thought of you on the wedding day, and wish
you could have been there so that I could have had a great big Aunt
Lena hug. Miss you much and love you always.
Love, Annabelle.
The above example is included as an example of the ONLY time it is okay to lie to a guest.
There is no need to tell
Aunt Lena that Miss Broom is truly terrifying, like a horror movie
prop, and that John is given to hiding her behind doors and in your
bed or behind the shower curtain or hanging her from light fixtures so that he can laugh at your
screams.
The important thing is only that a gift was given, and
accepted with love. If you don't genuinely love your guests, I question why they are on the guest list, and invited to share what may be one of the most meaningful moments of your life.
Create a small registry and people will get the hint. Also, since it hasn't been mentioned, I'm guessing that you were thinking that you would put this "cute poem" in the wedding invitation. Otherwise, why have a poem? This is a major etiquette no-no. There should be absolutely no mention of gifts, registries or poems begging for money in your invitation.
She is no longer with us, and I have never seen her like, since. It was many many years ago; I'm now a MOB, and I almost hope my daughter gets a present of equal... hmmm...let's say, unique beauty. It is a good test of Thank You writing skills.
I am guessing Miss Broom was purchased at a senior citizen craft sale.
Picture a 4 ft tall "decorative" twig broom, wearing a blinding orange and yellow flowered dress and matching hat- the hat made of orange and yellow yarn, like a crotchet doily. Her face and hands were a scary dismembered baby doll plastic, and her eyes stared sideways and down, exactly as if she was side-eyeing me. She had long white yarn braids, which were very freaky next to the scary baby face.
The hands hung from weirdly out of proportion loooooong arms, and her skirt hung down over the bottom of the broom. If you shook her from side to side, her weird arms would flail around, and you could make a scary voice saying, "Let me out of the garage. Pleeeeease, don't put me in the garage."
She was last seen sticking out of a Goodwill donation box, on her way out of the garage. If you see her, don't tell her where I am.
By creating a small registry you are essentially telling your guests that you would prefer cash.
Never polite to ask for cash. No cute poems. People know that other people like money. Have you ever heard anyone in the history of time complain about being given money? Doubt it.
If people ASK, you can say, "We are registered at X but are also saving for a house".
I would go with some sort of a registry because there are people who never give cash for gifts (I have a friend like this- never cash for anything- wedding, birthday, etc). As for the registry, put things on it you'd like to upgrade (guests genuinely want to give you something nice that is going to last years to come, not something you'll need to throw out in a year or two), or additional sets of things. It's OK to put household things you LIKE.
Ideas are towels, bathroom decor (shower curtain, place mat, etc), bed sheets, kitchen linens (table cloth, place settings, dish cloths, dish towels), kitchen utensils. Upgrade things like drinking or wine glasses, utensils, your coffee pot or tea kettle, iron. A beautiful frame for one of your professional wedding photos.
we also just wanted money for our "house fund" but in no way did we say to anyone directly that was what we wanted. We had a registry normal sized and my parents, his mom, family/close friends knew we were house hunting so they pretty much helped spread the word we were planning on buying a house this year-- I pretty much got gifts at the shower and the wedding was majority checks/cash with a few gifts. It did not buy us our house but we definitely added to our down payment which helped us look in a different range on the market.
we lived together before but definitely had an apartment mostly of his and hers all mixed together so I definitely wanted to register for "our" stuff and once we move in to a house will be able to set everything up as ours.
I know this is off topic but I just can't get away from your sentence "That way we can avoid people who barely know us bringing some crazy gift"
WHY ARE PEOPLE WHO BARELY KNOW YOU INVITEDTO YOUR WEDDING??
We are having 50 guests and even cutting out aunts, uncles, cousins, people we've known since 3rd grade. They have no part in our lives, they never speak to us, so why would they be invited? Keep it small and intimate, don't waste your night walking around thanking 250 people that you really don't give a crap about. lol sorry if that sounds mean, I just really do not understand the concept of inviting people that are not close to you.
I think there are two good options for you here. Neither of them include asking for money.
Option 1: Create no registry at all. Don't have a bridal shower. When people ask what you need, explain to them that you have everything you need. Don't talk about money at all. People are not dumb, they'll realize that money is always useful without you needing to mention it.
Option 2: Create a really small registry mainly for bridal shower gifts. When people ask what you need, explain that you don't need much because you have had time to build up your household. Don't talk about money at all. Again, people know that money is a useful gift.
In my area it's common receive envelopes (money) rather than register. But even if people are used to giving and receiving money, I didn't like the poem at tall. I thought it was too much. I agree with everyone who said, the simple fact that you won't have a big registry (or won't have any) will be enough for your guests to understand their gift would be more useful to you if it was money (or even gift cards, which can be great, like a gift card for a nice restaurant or for a hotel or spa). Your guests will want to offer something useful and/or that you'll appreciate. You don't have to try to disguise this using poetry or cartoons.
Re: No more replies please
If the majority of your guests know you are saving for a house, as you said, they will probably give you money. To think that it would be okay to tell them, in any way, that you only want money, is super mega rude.
DH & I registered for and received nice gifts like a Calphalon roaster pan, sets of every size and type of bar glasses, champagne glasses, and serving/entertaining pieces. You can always use nice sheets and towels, too, as they can be stored in vacuum spacesaver bags until your current ones wear out.
We didn't NEED anything, but we will in the future as we start our family and entertain more and more in our home.
Some guests just love to give physical boxed gifts. Better to get things you like than something random...
The people that don't want to give cash won't. Even if you ask for it. Let's say this is 20% of your guests.
The people that will give you cash (a very common wedding gift) will do it without your asking. Let's say 80% of your guests.
If you blatantly ask for money you risk offending 100% of your guests and chances are you won't be swaying the 20% anyway.
Create a small registry and if anybody asks you can direct them to it. Or you can tell them you are saving up for XYZ.
He doesn't want to register so don't. Don't ask for money, however, as there's no way to do it that isn't rude, including cute poems. Just spread the word that you are saving for a house. When people ask you or your parents or your sibs or your WP when kind of gifts you want, just ask them to reply that you have everything you need and that you are saving up for a house.
Setting aside the problems with honeymoon registries in general, I need to make sure I'm understanding what you're doing here. You are asking your guests to pay for your honeymoon, even though you have already paid for the honeymoon, so you are going to use that money to pay your bills instead?
I am trying to imagine a “cute” way to ask for money. A picture of baby penguins hugging on an iceberg, with a caption saying “help us build our new igloo?”
I hope not. And I really hope you don't mean a little rhyming poem. Hiding a request for money in bad poetry is making a bad thing worse. Here is an imagined example:
When sending your love to the bride and groom
You may help them move out of their rented room.
You have extra money, and we have none.
Whip out that checkbook and give us some!
Your wedding isn't a charity fundraiser. That's the only time that you send someone an invitation to an event with the expectation that if they accept, they should give money.
If I receive a wedding invitation asking for money in any “clever” disguise (gift cards, honeymoon funds, etc.) I'm offended. I feel as if I've been added to the headcount of their fundraiser, just for that purpose.
No matter what you do, or where you register, or how gracefully you let people know (never on an invitation, and only when asked...maybe on a website, but even that makes me a little uncomfortable) you will probably receive a horrendous gift that some well meaning and misguided guest thinks is wonderful, because those fools are operating under the old fashioned idea that a gift should be personal, and that any gift given with love and good intention will be accepted with the same.
If this terrible and tragic thing happens to you, the correct action is to write a thank you letter. I had to write one that went sort of like this:
Dear Great Aunt Lena;
John and I thank you so much for the thoughtful wedding present! I have never before seen a broom with arms and a head! And her dress is made of such bright and cheerful fabric. It made me smile to think of you choosing her for us, and that you remembered how much I love flowered dresses. John is very taken with her- he displayed her in the dining room even before I was finished unpacking.
Miss Broom will always have a special place in our house, and every time I see her it reminds me of you, and how much I love you. Thank you for taking the time to think of us. Know that I thought of you on the wedding day, and wish you could have been there so that I could have had a great big Aunt Lena hug. Miss you much and love you always.
Love, Annabelle.
The above example is included as an example of the ONLY time it is okay to lie to a guest.
There is no need to tell Aunt Lena that Miss Broom is truly terrifying, like a horror movie prop, and that John is given to hiding her behind doors and in your bed or behind the shower curtain or hanging her from light fixtures so that he can laugh at your screams.
The important thing is only that a gift was given, and accepted with love. If you don't genuinely love your guests, I question why they are on the guest list, and invited to share what may be one of the most meaningful moments of your life.
@photokitty Haha! Poor Miss Broom!
She is no longer with us, and I have never seen her like, since. It was many many years ago; I'm now a MOB, and I almost hope my daughter gets a present of equal... hmmm...let's say, unique beauty. It is a good test of Thank You writing skills.
I am guessing Miss Broom was purchased at a senior citizen craft sale. Picture a 4 ft tall "decorative" twig broom, wearing a blinding orange and yellow flowered dress and matching hat- the hat made of orange and yellow yarn, like a crotchet doily. Her face and hands were a scary dismembered baby doll plastic, and her eyes stared sideways and down, exactly as if she was side-eyeing me. She had long white yarn braids, which were very freaky next to the scary baby face.
The hands hung from weirdly out of proportion loooooong arms, and her skirt hung down over the bottom of the broom. If you shook her from side to side, her weird arms would flail around, and you could make a scary voice saying, "Let me out of the garage. Pleeeeease, don't put me in the garage."
She was last seen sticking out of a Goodwill donation box, on her way out of the garage. If you see her, don't tell her where I am.
we lived together before but definitely had an apartment mostly of his and hers all mixed together so I definitely wanted to register for "our" stuff and once we move in to a house will be able to set everything up as ours.
I know this is off topic but I just can't get away from your sentence "That way we can avoid people who barely know us bringing some crazy gift"
WHY ARE PEOPLE WHO BARELY KNOW YOU INVITEDTO YOUR WEDDING??
We are having 50 guests and even cutting out aunts, uncles, cousins, people we've known since 3rd grade. They have no part in our lives, they never speak to us, so why would they be invited? Keep it small and intimate, don't waste your night walking around thanking 250 people that you really don't give a crap about. lol sorry if that sounds mean, I just really do not understand the concept of inviting people that are not close to you.