My first wedding had 15 people invited and the reception was at the bar I worked at which was also a food establishment but mostly just a bar totally a buy your own drinks situation! We did have great food and plenty of it and it was a really intimate gathering!
Wedding a few years ago in bayfield on Lake Superior. Couldn't hear ANYTHING and it was freezing. We had to home across the beach to get to the "ceremony spot" which was unmarked. The reception was a half hour away at a really small town hall, pot luck style food but I'm pretty sure the B&Gs family made it all. There was one door to get in and then you had to go up Stairs and through a hallway and past the kitchen to get the the dinigroom which was very confusing.
My BFF this summer and I LOVE her!!! Married an hour away from home. Only a handful of people invited to the ceremony. Had the reception back home so an hour away from ceremony site. She also got married on Lake Superior and I thought if die on the rocks but the view was worth it! The whole reception was so confusing!!! Food was out but we couldn't eat yet, then we could, there were two different rooms set up for people to eat in, 2 hours later I had to bring my kid to the sitters and they were just thinking of starting speeches!! I had to stay to give me speech and then missed the first dance because I had to take my kid home. It was just really unorganized and I didn't even see most of the people that came because the head table and most of the rest of the tables were in different rooms!!
I just know that I don't want a wedding that could end up on this board!!!
Worst weddings oops ever...
My first wedding had 15 people invited and the reception was at the bar I worked at which was also a food establishment but mostly just a bar totally a buy your own drinks situation! We did have great food and plenty of it and it was a really intimate gathering!
Wedding a few years ago in bayfield on Lake Superior. Couldn't hear ANYTHING and it was freezing. We had to home across the beach to get to the "ceremony spot" which was unmarked. The reception was a half hour away at a really small town hall, pot luck style food but I'm pretty sure the B&Gs family made it all. There was one door to get in and then you had to go up Stairs and through a hallway and past the kitchen to get the the dinigroom which was very confusing.
My BFF this summer and I LOVE her!!! Married an hour away from home. Only a handful of people invited to the ceremony. Had the reception back home so an hour away from ceremony site. She also got married on Lake Superior and I thought if die on the rocks but the view was worth it! The whole reception was so confusing!!! Food was out but we couldn't eat yet, then we could, there were two different rooms set up for people to eat in, 2 hours later I had to bring my kid to the sitters and they were just thinking of starting speeches!! I had to stay to give me speech and then missed the first dance because I had to take my kid home. It was just really unorganized and I didn't even see most of the people that came because the head table and most of the rest of the tables were in different rooms!!
I just know that I don't want a wedding that could end up on this board!!!
I'm a little confused...your kid was invited to the ceremony but not the reception?
No my kid wasn't invited to the ceremony, which was understandable because she loves these people and would not have been able to be held back, plus I was the MOH so I wanted to focus on the bride. She was at the reception but it started at like 5 and then we ate and then around 730 it was time for me to get her to the sitter for her bedtime. I had to go a half hour away to drop her off and come back. The reception didn't end until 11 or later.
No my kid wasn't invited to the ceremony, which was understandable because she loves these people and would not have been able to be held back, plus I was the MOH so I wanted to focus on the bride. She was at the reception but it started at like 5 and then we ate and then around 730 it was time for me to get her to the sitter for her bedtime. I had to go a half hour away to drop her off and come back. The reception didn't end until 11 or later.
Yes! Not only invited but much wanted. She just HANGS on the groom. She loves him so much and he loves her so he indulges her a lot which is fine because they only see her like once a month! It was understandable about the ceremony because with me being in the wedding it would have been on FI to handle her and he is not the father. He's good with her but to put him in that situation could have been chaos, we didn't want to risk it.
The worst wedding I've ever been to was this past summer. I hope I don't forget anything. Let me preface this by saying that I wasn't in the wedding party, I just know all this because the MOH spent a good portion of the day following the wedding bitching about what horrible friends the BMs were.
The bride kicked out a bridesmaid because she hadn't purchased the dress more than 6 months prior to the wedding, and therefore couldn't be trusted to ever purchase it. She replaced the bridesmaid so she could have even sides. She insisted that the BMs stay at the hotel with her the night before and if they didn't show "they weren't walking." One bridesmaid was not allowed to bring her boyfriend of ONE YEAR to the wedding as her guest and decided to spend the evening prior to the wedding with him after the rehearsal dinner before going to the hotel, and the bride flipped out that she didn't go straight to the hotel instead. Bridesmaids had to buy matching shoes and wear matching hairstyles at their own expense.
There were two flower girls. They were flying in from the other side of the country for the wedding. They were 6 and 8 yrs old and very excited to be in the wedding. Their luggage, with their dresses, got lost by the airline. The FGs' father offered to run to the store and buy matching dresses for the girls that went with the wedding colors, so they could still participate. The bride threw a fit and said if the dresses don't show up "they aren't walking." I know the bridal party's only job is to show up in the dress, but these were little girls who were extremely excited. It wasn't their fault the airline lost the luggage. The luggage thankfully showed up the morning of the wedding, so everything worked out.
The Bride went on and on about this being a budget wedding and how they were trying to save money on everything. To save money, they only paid the caterers to drop the food off. They had to set up the reception hall entirely themselves. There were about 45-50 of us at the reception site the day before the wedding to set up and decorate. We had to iron table clothes and chair covers. We had to fold napkins and set place settings at the tables, put together center pieces, etc. It took 50 people 4 and a half hours to set up the hall to the bride's satisfaction. We were also expected to clean up after the wedding. In fact, the groomsman had to break down the dance floor because the bride and groom didn't want to pay the company to do it. No one wanted to be there super late cleaning up, so people started taking down tables and putting away chairs as soon as dinner was over. We had no place to sit after dinner! FI was a groomsman and was at the head table. I was, of course, at a different table.
After being treated like the hired help so the bride and groom could save money, the happy couple went on a $10,000 honeymoon!! I don't like to judge how people spend their money, but don't cry poverty and treat me like hired labor so that you can take a dream honeymoon with a butler.
I should have known it was going to be a shit-show. The bride had a fit when her brother got engaged because he was getting married the same YEAR as her.
Yes! Not only invited but much wanted. She just HANGS on the groom. She loves him so much and he loves her so he indulges her a lot which is fine because they only see her like once a month! It was understandable about the ceremony because with me being in the wedding it would have been on FI to handle her and he is not the father. He's good with her but to put him in that situation could have been chaos, we didn't want to risk it.
Okay, this makes more sense now. But it doesn't necessarily sound like bad planning on their part...maybe they thought she'd stay up until the end or that you'd bring your sitter with you, not that you'd have to leave to take her to the sitter. Sounds like some communication should have happened that didn't.
It's not the sitter part that was bad it's the fact that dinner was at 5:30 and then 2 hours later after everyone had basically been standing around and I had to leave, they were like on yeah speeches! A lot of people had already left because it was late. The reception started at 5, speeches around 7:30, dances started around 8:15? It was just really unorganized that way. No one knew what was going on and almost everyone was just standing around outside most of the night. Then after the dj played for a few hours they stopped to have a dollar dance! AHHH! Idk badly MCed at best!
@nsweare OUCH!!! I must admit FI and I are thinking of cutting a few corners to be able to have an outdoor jacuzzi suite on our honeymoon! Those corners include me going to the David's bridal $99 dress sale, not having fresh flowers, cupcakes instead of beautiful wedding cakes, and maybe giving up my photo booth so my guests can have an open bar and good food and I can still have an awesome honeymoon! I would LOVE if a bride told me I had to do something or I wasn't walking... I'd show her me walking... Right out the door!!! How dare someone treat people that way!!! Especially kids
1. The wedding was a BEAUTIFUL amazing event.....until the end of the night. The hotel that we all booked was a good 25 minutes from the reception hall and we were told to take taxis to the reception hall and that taxis would be available at the end of the reception. There was full open bar available (great!) and this was a 20 something group, so we all planned to have quite a bit to drink--and take cabs back to the hotel. The reception ended at 11pm the entire reception hall was emptied in a matter of seconds. Leaving all of us in the parking lot (they wouldn't even let us sit in the lobby!). There were no cabs, no one had a # for a cab (none of us were from the area). Then the bride and groom jumped into a car and zoomed off! Leaving everyone (including the bridal party who rode to the reception with the B&G) standing in an empty parking lot. It took at least 30 minutes to get a taxi to the location once we looked up a number. Anyone planning a wedding---please don't tell your guests that there will be rides available if you don't plan to actually have a ride available.
2. Speeches. The MOH was probably sweet, but I missed it-- a child started acting up (crying, screaming, kicking legs) and the grandfather stood up to take her out. Well, the well intentioned grandfather walked so slowly with the child that the temper tantrum was all anyone could hear for the duration of the speech. As soon as the child was out of ear shot it was "Please raise a glass to the couple". The best man's speech took at least 25 minutes. So long that people started returning to the bar to get another drink, because they had finished theirs. People also started side conversations because his rambling just wouldn't end. Only about 50% of the room actually toasted, he had lost the rest of the audience. That same wedding also made us play games to win our turn to go up to the buffet. Some tables hadn't been released to the buffet when the first dances started. Oh, and they never cut/served the cake! When we were leaving I noticed the whole cake still on display with one little sliver cut out from the couple.
The worst wedding I went to was years ago, a Catholic ceremony, which was fine. But the reception was way out in the boonies - a bunch of people got lost getting out there. Those of us who didn't get lost ended up sitting around with nothing to do, drink or eat besides water. It was a dry reception (first time I heard of sober Catholics! (o.O) )
Over an hour and a half later, bride and groom and the lost souls finally show up and we get dinner. And then after dinner toasts start. And keep going. And going. Thirteen after dinner toasts later, most of which were given by the brides family and were among the lines of, well, we don't really like this guy, but I guess we're going to have to try and get used to him, we were finally given cake. The ex-bf and I took off ASAP after that. Talk about awkward.
I get so angry when I tell this story that I am asking forgiveness for any typos that may follow.
My very sweet and well mannered
daughter had been dating the same boy for several years. We will call
him Eeyore, because of his miserable disposition. When Kate (lovely
daughter) was in her second year of college, Eeyore's sister became
engaged and asked Kate if she would please be a bridesmaid, it would
mean a lot to her.
Kate hesitates, because she really can't afford it,
but allows herself to be persuaded because she, unlike her mother, is
very sweet and doesn't want to upset Eeyore or family. (Mistake #1)
I will not spend a lot of time on the
various crappy behavior leading up to the wedding, which includes Kate
sitting alone for an hour and a half at David's Bridal waiting for
Rudebride and her friends to show up to choose dresses. The other
girls had all met for lunch earlier (Kate excluded) and had such a
good time that they missed the appointment, and rescheduled. Kate's
phone calls were ignored,and she was left out of the rescheduling
consult. Of course, it was a day she was working, but Rudebride tells
her that's okay, they'll just pick something nice, and Kate can go
order it when it's convenient.
(Kate wanted to quit at this point, but
Eeyore predicted such despair, misery, and family rifts that would carry on for
generations, etc., that she caved. Again. Mistake #2)
This was a short engagement. Barely
enough time for the purple polyester made in china bridesmaid
monstrosities to arrive. Not enough time for alterations. Kate's
dress arrives in a size four. She wears a double zero. I am already
pissed off at everyone involved, but because I love my girl, I devote
a day of my life to altering a $100 dress that feels like a crappy
Halloween costume.
Things are about to get much, much,
worse.
A month before the wedding, we learn
that it will be a backyard wedding at an Aunt's house. No problem
with this. I even prefer them to large showbizzy extravaganza
weddings. But Rudebride tells Kate it will be a potluck. Oh, and it
was decided a while ago, and everyone has already signed up for
salads and breads, so will Kate sign up for entrée, because that's
what Rudebride needs, and oh, will she bring manicotti because Kate
makes beautiful manicotti. Oh, and “everyone” is helping to
serve.
The following conversation went like
this.
Me: “And you told her, as politely as
possible, to f#!k off?”
Kate: “I'm making manicotti, Mom.”
Me: “You are a very, very,
nice girl. I thought I taught you better than that.”
Scene change. Night before the wedding.
Kate is making a respectable sized pan of cheese manicotti, which
serves about 16 and we can ill afford, and I am making rude remarks
about bad hostesses who were raised by mannerless wenches who can't
cook, when the phone rings.
It is Rudebride. She wanted to make
sure that Kate had the final head count. Princess Rudebride wants to make sure there is
manicotti for seventy-five.
Seventy-effing-five. Bolded and italicized.
SEVENTY-EFFING-FIVE. Uppercase.
I usually don't do that, but really? Manicotti for seventy-five.
You
read that correctly. Not only was she expecting Kate to feed her
guests, she meant ALL of them. And there was no other main dish.
Rudebride thought Kate knew.
That's what she had signed
up
for. She has
to. The wedding will be ruined
if there's no food. And (4th
and final mistake) Kate caved. She
frikking caved.
Here
I will leave a large blank space, while you imagine the look of
speechless outrage on my face, and Kate hanging up the phone while
she clutches the kitchen counter for support. She is afraid to meet my eyes, because she might be turned into stone if she does.
My
speech returns. It is not my proudest moment. I have sworn many times
in my life, but on this night, I strung together amazingly foul and
creative combinations of truly vile profanity. I think smoke
came hissing out of my ears. I think my head rotated.
I
believe the very nicest thing I said was that if ever ever ever that
ill bred effing daughter of a mannerless effing whore even
whispered
the effing word potluck to Kate again, Kate was to tell her in no
uncertain effing terms to kiss her perfect little olive colored Dago
ass, and if she did not, I would kick it up over the top of her sweet
little perfect head and she could wear it like that for a year with
an effing sign around her neck that said “I am an ass-hat. Free
catering for f&%#heads.”
My
offers to drive to the store and buy a case of canned Chef Boyardee
ravioli for the soiree were not appreciated, and yes, we made
manicotti for seventy-effing-five.
The
purple polyester monstrosity turned out to be unimportant, because
“everyone” serving meant Kate, who spent most of the reception in
an apron, waiting on the real guests.
She did not receive a thank you note.
I now have to take a few deep breaths and fan myself.
***
I
am happy to report that Kate's spine has strengthened considerably,
that Eeyore and his horrible family are a thing of the past, and Kate
is marrying a lovely young man this fall.
ohannabelle you should be a fricken storyteller! I fully entertained reading that, but I'd be hella pissed too if that were my daughter or me in Kate's position. I would have probubly told bride to f-off and find another slave--- er um bridesmaid and I would have dumped bf for not being supportive. I hope rudebride and her husband don't procreate.
@ohannabelle - I never read ultra long posts, but I found myself 5 inches from the monitor, wide-eyed and consuming every character. Please post most often.
I have to say I'm glad Kate has a backbone and that you have a hilariously awful story to tell at holiday gatherings.
H and I went to a wedding, on a Friday, in the middle of the afternoon. So we both had to leave work early and fight traffic. The ceremony was completely disjointed. The bride stood at the back of the church, for about 5 minutes, waiting for her processional song to start. The ceremony ended and the B/G's limo didnt show up. So she ask if she could borrow our car and we could drive with someone else. Keep in mind there was a 2 hour gap.
I walked into the reception. No assigned tables, fine no problem, and went to look for a seat. It turns out that there were seats for half the guests. The bride expected people to rotate or share tables. That didnt happen. By 9pm the same people were still sitting at the tables. H and I finally went through the buffet line. All the food was gone and 30 people still hadnt eaten, including the B&G. H finally asked a few people to more who were just camped out. So we ate at a dirty table.
Then the bride was mad because no one was dancing. Well, the people who ate first had already danced a few songs and were ready for cake (which never came) and the rest of use were just sitting down for dinner.
At that point we gave up on the wedding and drove through a McDonalds on the way home.
I got an email from this bride last week saying she wants to quit her job to be a wedding planner/ DOC. And would I recommend her... um no.
@southernbelle and amyzen-
Thank you so much, ladies! I get so mad when I tell that story that I stomp around the house for an hour afterwards, until I can reduce it from rolling boil to slow simmer. Whenever I hear people say "but none of my friends have any problem with potluck," I can't even respond. Just...can't.
H and I went to a wedding, on a Friday, in the middle of the afternoon. So we both had to leave work early and fight traffic. The ceremony was completely disjointed. The bride stood at the back of the church, for about 5 minutes, waiting for her processional song to start. The ceremony ended and the B/G's limo didnt show up. So she ask if she could borrow our car and we could drive with someone else. Keep in mind there was a 2 hour gap.
I walked into the reception. No assigned tables, fine no problem, and went to look for a seat. It turns out that there were seats for half the guests. The bride expected people to rotate or share tables. That didnt happen. By 9pm the same people were still sitting at the tables. H and I finally went through the buffet line. All the food was gone and 30 people still hadnt eaten, including the B&G. H finally asked a few people to more who were just camped out. So we ate at a dirty table.
Then the bride was mad because no one was dancing. Well, the people who ate first had already danced a few songs and were ready for cake (which never came) and the rest of use were just sitting down for dinner.
At that point we gave up on the wedding and drove through a McDonalds on the way home.
I got an email from this bride last week saying she wants to quit her job to be a wedding planner/ DOC. And would I recommend her... um no.
I tipped over laughing when I read the last line. Of course, a wedding planner! Such a simple thing to do.
@southernbelle and amyzen- Thank you so much, ladies! I get so mad when I tell that story that I stomp around the house for an hour afterwards, until I can reduce it from rolling boil to slow simmer. Whenever I hear people say "but none of my friends have any problem with potluck," I can't even respond. Just...can't.
What you described is a wedding of nightmares. Yuck. I am very glad your daughter is going to have a properly hosted event. And I agree that you should post more.
ohannabelle I think I'll even amend my statement to, I may have actually followed through with the bridesmaid duties even make the dish, but day of wedding, I'd "accidently trip" which is easy to do in heals in grass, and make sure to splatter the entire dish on rudebride's gown >:P but that would be wroooooooong.
Anyway, I am really loving this post and I think it should be a post-it or sticky whatever you all call it, because this is a wonderful non-threatening way to show future brides like myself WHAT NOT TO DO and by talking about other people's weddings, nobody can be on the defensive, and gives honest feedback about what your guests are really thinking about other people's weddings.
With that said, here's my story, fortunately for me, I haven't really experienced a truely "horrible wedding" like some of you ladies have, and it sounds like in some cases, the bride may have really planned for everything, but the vendors or someone else can also spoil an otherwise good wedding, but then again there are some seriously clueless or asshat people out there.
One of my former bff's wedding was actually very beautiful and it was what they wanted but my own experience with it wasn't that awesome.
I will say this, most of my friends have had some sort of cash bar, so that never really bothers me, as long as some type of non-water drink is hosted, but this wedding was properly hosted, everyone got fed, everyone got cake and nobody had to pay for drinks, but it was a dry wedding anyway :-/ Dry weddings aren't always fun for me, but it depends on the dynamics, anyway different strokes for different folks, so I'm not going to judge that decision. I did notice a correlation between the no alcohol and little to no people on the dance floor except the children.
Now this is where I felt this warranted one of the worst weddings I've attended.
1. My fiance who I had only been with for a month at the time of the wedding wasn't invited to I had to attend solo, which kinda sucked but he probably wouldn't have felt comfortable coming anyway since our relationship was still new, and it was after I had RSVPed, so NBD, but I would have had more fun with him there and I would have probably danced more.
2. Barely anyone was dancing except my friends and I and the kids.
3. Now for the worst part, at the end of the reception, because the bride and groom were trying to have low budget wedding, no janitorial staff was hired for the event, so all of the guests were expected to put away all of the chairs tables, etc and basically clean everything up, and I had to do this in heals, which I ended up taking off because my feet hurt so bad. And the sucky thing was that people would get dirty looks from other guests if they weren't helping enough or just wanted to enjoy the rest of the evening socializing. My other besty felt guilty because her and her fi left early because they didn't want to stay and help clean up. NO GUEST SHOULD EVER HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY OR BE EXPECTED TO DO ANYTHING at a wedding except have a good time.
3. Now for the worst part, at the end of the reception, because the bride and groom were trying to have low budget wedding, no janitorial staff was hired for the event, so all of the guests were expected to put away all of the chairs tables, etc and basically clean everything up, and I had to do this in heals, which I ended up taking off because my feet hurt so bad. And the sucky thing was that people would get dirty looks from other guests if they weren't helping enough or just wanted to enjoy the rest of the evening socializing. My other besty felt guilty because her and her fi left early because they didn't want to stay and help clean up. NO GUEST SHOULD EVER HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY OR BE EXPECTED TO DO ANYTHING at a wedding except have a good time.
Sorry that was so long winded.
Can't get out of the quote box. But I am in total agreement on this. Guests should never be expected to be part of setup or cleanup. When one of my cousins got married (she was the sister of the groom in the wedding I posted about earlier in this thread) she made two very big mistakes in planning her wedding: 1) She had everyone eat outdoors in a windy area, so everything was blowing all over the place and 2) she made no provisions for hiring someone to clean up. Apparently she thought it was going to happen magically on its own. Our family (she did it in the party room of my parents' condo) ended up having to do it. It was really annoying.
I should throw this warning out in advance: this was not the fault of the bride or groom!
Years ago FI and I attended his cousin's wedding out of town. We met his mom and stepfather in the hotel lobby prior to walking to the ceremony. We get down there and to our absolute horror find FI's insufferable tool of a stepdad is wearing a kilt. This is not his normal day to day look. He's just particularly thrilled with his Scottish heritage. This wasn't even his side of the family nor was it a "proudly wear your family heritage garb" themed event. Nope, this guy just looooves to draw attention to himself in any way he can. He's a real piece of work. It got better of course. After many single malts at the reception later he started inviting all the ladies to take a gander up said kilt and confirm his "commando" status. It was awful.
We're excited to see if he owns a summer-weight kilt for our DW in Mexico next year. Because wool tartan plaid sounds miserable in the tropics ;-)
I should throw this warning out in advance: this was not the fault of the bride or groom!
Years ago FI and I attended his cousin's wedding out of town. We met his mom and stepfather in the hotel lobby prior to walking to the ceremony. We get down there and to our absolute horror find FI's insufferable tool of a stepdad is wearing a kilt. This is not his normal day to day look. He's just particularly thrilled with his Scottish heritage. This wasn't even his side of the family nor was it a "proudly wear your family heritage garb" themed event. Nope, this guy just looooves to draw attention to himself in any way he can. He's a real piece of work. It got better of course. After many single malts at the reception later he started inviting all the ladies to take a gander up said kilt and confirm his "commando" status. It was awful.
We're excited to see if he owns a summer-weight kilt for our DW in Mexico next year. Because wool tartan plaid sounds miserable in the tropics ;-)
Oh no!!!! I'd be so furious!!! Forget how tacky I think jeans are!!! But that's kind of funny
So I've never attended a horrendous wedding (I've actually only ever been to two weddings), but my best friend since high school had some choice moments that still to this day rub me the wrong way. I was a MOH in her wedding and it made me never want to participate in another wedding and turned me off to having a wedding party of my own.
The first was her insistence on having two bridal showers. Her first was hosted for her by her mom and grandmother and was a joint celebration for her and her cousin as they were getting married within a week of each other and very close. Well, my BFF decided that she had friends that she didn't think would act appropriately (meaning they would be loud and obnoxious) so she wanted her bridesmaids to throw her a completely separate shower for the girls she felt she couldn't invite to the other shower. So I shelled out hundreds of dollars to throw a very nice shower that all of SIX people showed up to (many more than that were invited). It was completely unnecessary, a waste of time and money, and, after everything I've read so far on this site, it was rude and in bad taste for her to require a second bridal shower.
The other issue was with her bachelorette party. Again, the bridal party obviously wanted to throw her a bachelorette party as a way to let loose and have fun but again, she had very specific demands. She didn't want to go out in our town, or the city close by. No, we had to travel two hours away and stay at a fancy casino overnight. I slept on the floor despite contributing to the cost of this excursion while the rest of the girls (some who paid nothing towards this) slept on couches or the beds in the hotel rooms.
There were so many other little things that I could go on and on about but those two were the biggest things. You don't get to request a second bridal shower because you don't think your friends can act like grown ups around your friends (which is offensive to said friends as well, though they didn't know anything about the first shower). And I understand that she wanted to have fun at her bridal shower, but she wasn't paying for a dime of it. All in all I spent far too much money to give in her ridiculous requests that she wasn't all that appreciative of and it completely soured the experience for me.
I should throw this warning out in advance: this was not the fault of the bride or groom!
Years ago FI and I attended his cousin's wedding out of town. We met his mom and stepfather in the hotel lobby prior to walking to the ceremony. We get down there and to our absolute horror find FI's insufferable tool of a stepdad is wearing a kilt. This is not his normal day to day look. He's just particularly thrilled with his Scottish heritage. This wasn't even his side of the family nor was it a "proudly wear your family heritage garb" themed event. Nope, this guy just looooves to draw attention to himself in any way he can. He's a real piece of work. It got better of course. After many single malts at the reception later he started inviting all the ladies to take a gander up said kilt and confirm his "commando" status. It was awful.
We're excited to see if he owns a summer-weight kilt for our DW in Mexico next year. Because wool tartan plaid sounds miserable in the tropics ;-)
Oh no!!!! I'd be so furious!!! Forget how tacky I think jeans are!!! But that's kind of funny
We laughed about it afterward but at the time it sucked. We spent a lot of time away from our table. FI stepdad is the one thing besides the weather that worries us for Mexico next year. None of my family has ever met him. And as accepting as they are, I doubt they're going to like the guy. He doesn't have any redeeming qualities. At least he'll offer comedic relief for any stressful moments!
Regarding some of the recent posts: I've now seen two wedding websites that say something like: "oBTWguyz, we could totally use ur help with our budgetDIYspeschulday so plz volunteer!!" One couple followed this up with emails to the entire guest list as it got nearer. I imagine their poor parents, siblings, and WP ended up with all of the work in the end.
Also, question: is "budget DIY" the trendy new snowflake excuse? Many rude things I've seen at or around weddings lately have been excused by one or both of these terms, and many of the more painful postings on here use them, as well.
My friend used it as her excuse to not serve dinner at her wedding, which was at dinnertime. That and the fact that she and her H are vegetarians, which she said would piss some of her guests off. No honey, everyone would have been happier with a plate of pasta then with nothing at all.
It really pissed me off because she admitted that she spent thousands on her dress, but it was a "budget" wedding, so they didn't have enough chairs or any food. Bull shit.
I'm not putting down budget or DIY weddings, since I'm having a budget wedding. Just be sure that if you're going that route, you are still being accommodating to her guests. There are so many ways to cut corners to save yourself money (centerpieces & other decorations, wine/beer open bar, etc.) without being rude.
Regarding some of the recent posts: I've now seen two wedding websites that say something like: "oBTWguyz, we could totally use ur help with our budgetDIYspeschulday so plz volunteer!!" One couple followed this up with emails to the entire guest list as it got nearer. I imagine their poor parents, siblings, and WP ended up with all of the work in the end.
Also, question: is "budget DIY" the trendy new snowflake excuse? Many rude things I've seen at or around weddings lately have been excused by one or both of these terms, and many of the more painful postings on here use them, as well.
My friend used it as her excuse to not serve dinner at her wedding, which was at dinnertime. That and the fact that she and her H are vegetarians, which she said would piss some of her guests off. No honey, everyone would have been happier with a plate of pasta then with nothing at all.
It really pissed me off because she admitted that she spent thousands on her dress, but it was a "budget" wedding, so they didn't have enough chairs or any food. Bull shit.
I'm not putting down budget or DIY weddings, since I'm having a budget wedding. Just be sure that if you're going that route, you are still being accommodating to her guests. There are so many ways to cut corners to save yourself money (centerpieces & other decorations, wine/beer open bar, etc.) without being rude.
TRUE FACTS. I'm cutting flowers out of my centerpieces, having a lunchtime wedding, and not serving any alcohol. But every one of my guests is going to have a seat, and lots of food, and there will be a super fun Italian Soda bar. I'm even going to a charity dress sale to try to get my dress for under $100. You don't have to cut out chairs and food to save money.
Some folks have very messed up priorities. If you don't have enough money to have a seat for every guest, or to serve dinner, then you don't have enough money for a new dress. I really don't care what your dream dress looks like, or how it's your special day.
If you can't afford to properly host a reception, then you are going to be wearing the nicest dress you already own, just like they did in olden times.
Jen4948 Yea, I believe I read about your situation in your post, I think it's crappy for a bride and groom to be sooo cheep that they can't pay for proper clean up people and make the guests do that work. I should also mention that if you are using items from your house to decorate your reception, and you don't trust strangers handling your possessions, then A) make sure your coordinator is on top of this, or Find creative alternatives or use stuff around your house where if for whatever reason you lose it, it's NBD. FYI, I'm having a budget DIY style wedding, but I can assure you my guests aren't allowed to do sh--- except enjoy themselves, there will be food and drink properly hosted - NO GHETTO POTLUCK and I will make sure to hire others to clean up after our wedding. I also forgot to mention that as a gift, I designed her wedding programs and stupid seating chart- which was a pain in the ass to design because I had to wait for all her guests responses, and all of the info she gave me was last minute, so I pretty much had to drop my other plans to get these done for her, and she was annoyed she had to pay rush charges for printing... Grrrrrrrrrrr!
Re: Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?
My first wedding had 15 people invited and the reception was at the bar I worked at which was also a food establishment but mostly just a bar
Wedding a few years ago in bayfield on Lake Superior. Couldn't hear ANYTHING and it was freezing. We had to home across the beach to get to the "ceremony spot" which was unmarked. The reception was a half hour away at a really small town hall, pot luck style food but I'm pretty sure the B&Gs family made it all. There was one door to get in and then you had to go up Stairs and through a hallway and past the kitchen to get the the dinigroom which was very confusing.
My BFF this summer
I just know that I don't want a wedding that could end up on this board!!!
I'm a little confused...your kid was invited to the ceremony but not the reception?
The worst wedding I've ever been to was this past summer. I hope I don't forget anything. Let me preface this by saying that I wasn't in the wedding party, I just know all this because the MOH spent a good portion of the day following the wedding bitching about what horrible friends the BMs were.
The bride kicked out a bridesmaid because she hadn't purchased the dress more than 6 months prior to the wedding, and therefore couldn't be trusted to ever purchase it. She replaced the bridesmaid so she could have even sides. She insisted that the BMs stay at the hotel with her the night before and if they didn't show "they weren't walking." One bridesmaid was not allowed to bring her boyfriend of ONE YEAR to the wedding as her guest and decided to spend the evening prior to the wedding with him after the rehearsal dinner before going to the hotel, and the bride flipped out that she didn't go straight to the hotel instead. Bridesmaids had to buy matching shoes and wear matching hairstyles at their own expense.
There were two flower girls. They were flying in from the other side of the country for the wedding. They were 6 and 8 yrs old and very excited to be in the wedding. Their luggage, with their dresses, got lost by the airline. The FGs' father offered to run to the store and buy matching dresses for the girls that went with the wedding colors, so they could still participate. The bride threw a fit and said if the dresses don't show up "they aren't walking." I know the bridal party's only job is to show up in the dress, but these were little girls who were extremely excited. It wasn't their fault the airline lost the luggage. The luggage thankfully showed up the morning of the wedding, so everything worked out.
The Bride went on and on about this being a budget wedding and how they were trying to save money on everything. To save money, they only paid the caterers to drop the food off. They had to set up the reception hall entirely themselves. There were about 45-50 of us at the reception site the day before the wedding to set up and decorate. We had to iron table clothes and chair covers. We had to fold napkins and set place settings at the tables, put together center pieces, etc. It took 50 people 4 and a half hours to set up the hall to the bride's satisfaction. We were also expected to clean up after the wedding. In fact, the groomsman had to break down the dance floor because the bride and groom didn't want to pay the company to do it. No one wanted to be there super late cleaning up, so people started taking down tables and putting away chairs as soon as dinner was over. We had no place to sit after dinner! FI was a groomsman and was at the head table. I was, of course, at a different table.
After being treated like the hired help so the bride and groom could save money, the happy couple went on a $10,000 honeymoon!! I don't like to judge how people spend their money, but don't cry poverty and treat me like hired labor so that you can take a dream honeymoon with a butler.
I should have known it was going to be a shit-show. The bride had a fit when her brother got engaged because he was getting married the same YEAR as her.
1. The wedding was a BEAUTIFUL amazing event.....until the end of the night. The hotel that we all booked was a good 25 minutes from the reception hall and we were told to take taxis to the reception hall and that taxis would be available at the end of the reception. There was full open bar available (great!) and this was a 20 something group, so we all planned to have quite a bit to drink--and take cabs back to the hotel. The reception ended at 11pm the entire reception hall was emptied in a matter of seconds. Leaving all of us in the parking lot (they wouldn't even let us sit in the lobby!). There were no cabs, no one had a # for a cab (none of us were from the area). Then the bride and groom jumped into a car and zoomed off! Leaving everyone (including the bridal party who rode to the reception with the B&G) standing in an empty parking lot. It took at least 30 minutes to get a taxi to the location once we looked up a number. Anyone planning a wedding---please don't tell your guests that there will be rides available if you don't plan to actually have a ride available.
2. Speeches. The MOH was probably sweet, but I missed it-- a child started acting up (crying, screaming, kicking legs) and the grandfather stood up to take her out. Well, the well intentioned grandfather walked so slowly with the child that the temper tantrum was all anyone could hear for the duration of the speech. As soon as the child was out of ear shot it was "Please raise a glass to the couple". The best man's speech took at least 25 minutes. So long that people started returning to the bar to get another drink, because they had finished theirs. People also started side conversations because his rambling just wouldn't end. Only about 50% of the room actually toasted, he had lost the rest of the audience. That same wedding also made us play games to win our turn to go up to the buffet. Some tables hadn't been released to the buffet when the first dances started. Oh, and they never cut/served the cake! When we were leaving I noticed the whole cake still on display with one little sliver cut out from the couple.
I get so angry when I tell this story that I am asking forgiveness for any typos that may follow.
My very sweet and well mannered daughter had been dating the same boy for several years. We will call him Eeyore, because of his miserable disposition. When Kate (lovely daughter) was in her second year of college, Eeyore's sister became engaged and asked Kate if she would please be a bridesmaid, it would mean a lot to her.
Kate hesitates, because she really can't afford it, but allows herself to be persuaded because she, unlike her mother, is very sweet and doesn't want to upset Eeyore or family. (Mistake #1)
I will not spend a lot of time on the various crappy behavior leading up to the wedding, which includes Kate sitting alone for an hour and a half at David's Bridal waiting for Rudebride and her friends to show up to choose dresses. The other girls had all met for lunch earlier (Kate excluded) and had such a good time that they missed the appointment, and rescheduled. Kate's phone calls were ignored,and she was left out of the rescheduling consult. Of course, it was a day she was working, but Rudebride tells her that's okay, they'll just pick something nice, and Kate can go order it when it's convenient.
(Kate wanted to quit at this point, but Eeyore predicted such despair, misery, and family rifts that would carry on for generations, etc., that she caved. Again. Mistake #2)
This was a short engagement. Barely enough time for the purple polyester made in china bridesmaid monstrosities to arrive. Not enough time for alterations. Kate's dress arrives in a size four. She wears a double zero. I am already pissed off at everyone involved, but because I love my girl, I devote a day of my life to altering a $100 dress that feels like a crappy Halloween costume.
Things are about to get much, much, worse.
A month before the wedding, we learn that it will be a backyard wedding at an Aunt's house. No problem with this. I even prefer them to large showbizzy extravaganza weddings. But Rudebride tells Kate it will be a potluck. Oh, and it was decided a while ago, and everyone has already signed up for salads and breads, so will Kate sign up for entrée, because that's what Rudebride needs, and oh, will she bring manicotti because Kate makes beautiful manicotti. Oh, and “everyone” is helping to serve.
The following conversation went like this.
Me: “And you told her, as politely as possible, to f#!k off?”
Kate: “I'm making manicotti, Mom.”
Me: “You are a very, very, nice girl. I thought I taught you better than that.”
Scene change. Night before the wedding.
Kate is making a respectable sized pan of cheese manicotti, which serves about 16 and we can ill afford, and I am making rude remarks about bad hostesses who were raised by mannerless wenches who can't cook, when the phone rings.
It is Rudebride. She wanted to make sure that Kate had the final head count. Princess Rudebride wants to make sure there is manicotti for seventy-five.
Seventy-effing-five. Bolded and italicized.
SEVENTY-EFFING-FIVE. Uppercase.
I usually don't do that, but really? Manicotti for seventy-five.
You read that correctly. Not only was she expecting Kate to feed her guests, she meant ALL of them. And there was no other main dish. Rudebride thought Kate knew. That's what she had signed up for. She has to. The wedding will be ruined if there's no food. And (4th and final mistake) Kate caved. She frikking caved.
Here I will leave a large blank space, while you imagine the look of speechless outrage on my face, and Kate hanging up the phone while she clutches the kitchen counter for support. She is afraid to meet my eyes, because she might be turned into stone if she does.
My speech returns. It is not my proudest moment. I have sworn many times in my life, but on this night, I strung together amazingly foul and creative combinations of truly vile profanity. I think smoke came hissing out of my ears. I think my head rotated.
I believe the very nicest thing I said was that if ever ever ever that ill bred effing daughter of a mannerless effing whore even whispered the effing word potluck to Kate again, Kate was to tell her in no uncertain effing terms to kiss her perfect little olive colored Dago ass, and if she did not, I would kick it up over the top of her sweet little perfect head and she could wear it like that for a year with an effing sign around her neck that said “I am an ass-hat. Free catering for f&%#heads.”
My offers to drive to the store and buy a case of canned Chef Boyardee ravioli for the soiree were not appreciated, and yes, we made manicotti for seventy-effing-five.
The purple polyester monstrosity turned out to be unimportant, because “everyone” serving meant Kate, who spent most of the reception in an apron, waiting on the real guests.
She did not receive a thank you note.
I now have to take a few deep breaths and fan myself.
***
I am happy to report that Kate's spine has strengthened considerably, that Eeyore and his horrible family are a thing of the past, and Kate is marrying a lovely young man this fall.
It will not be potluck.
OK, I will play.
H and I went to a wedding, on a Friday, in the middle of the afternoon. So we both had to leave work early and fight traffic. The ceremony was completely disjointed. The bride stood at the back of the church, for about 5 minutes, waiting for her processional song to start. The ceremony ended and the B/G's limo didnt show up. So she ask if she could borrow our car and we could drive with someone else. Keep in mind there was a 2 hour gap.
I walked into the reception. No assigned tables, fine no problem, and went to look for a seat. It turns out that there were seats for half the guests. The bride expected people to rotate or share tables. That didnt happen. By 9pm the same people were still sitting at the tables. H and I finally went through the buffet line. All the food was gone and 30 people still hadnt eaten, including the B&G. H finally asked a few people to more who were just camped out. So we ate at a dirty table.
Then the bride was mad because no one was dancing. Well, the people who ate first had already danced a few songs and were ready for cake (which never came) and the rest of use were just sitting down for dinner.
At that point we gave up on the wedding and drove through a McDonalds on the way home.
I got an email from this bride last week saying she wants to quit her job to be a wedding planner/ DOC. And would I recommend her... um no.
What you described is a wedding of nightmares. Yuck. I am very glad your daughter is going to have a properly hosted event. And I agree that you should post more.
(and I love the name Annabelle)
Anyway, I am really loving this post and I think it should be a post-it or sticky whatever you all call it, because this is a wonderful non-threatening way to show future brides like myself WHAT NOT TO DO
With that said, here's my story, fortunately for me, I haven't really experienced a truely "horrible wedding" like some of you ladies have, and it sounds like in some cases, the bride may have really planned for everything, but the vendors or someone else can also spoil an otherwise good wedding, but then again there are some seriously clueless or asshat people out there.
One of my former bff's wedding was actually very beautiful and it was what they wanted but my own experience with it wasn't that awesome.
I will say this, most of my friends have had some sort of cash bar, so that never really bothers me, as long as some type of non-water drink is hosted, but this wedding was properly hosted, everyone got fed, everyone got cake and nobody had to pay for drinks, but it was a dry wedding anyway :-/ Dry weddings aren't always fun for me, but it depends on the dynamics, anyway different strokes for different folks, so I'm not going to judge that decision. I did notice a correlation between the no alcohol and little to no people on the dance floor except the children.
Now this is where I felt this warranted one of the worst weddings I've attended.
1. My fiance who I had only been with for a month at the time of the wedding wasn't invited to I had to attend solo, which kinda sucked but he probably wouldn't have felt comfortable coming anyway since our relationship was still new, and it was after I had RSVPed, so NBD, but I would have had more fun with him there and I would have probably danced more.
2. Barely anyone was dancing except my friends and I and the kids.
3. Now for the worst part, at the end of the reception, because the bride and groom were trying to have low budget wedding, no janitorial staff was hired for the event, so all of the guests were expected to put away all of the chairs tables, etc and basically clean everything up, and I had to do this in heals, which I ended up taking off because my feet hurt so bad. And the sucky thing was that people would get dirty looks from other guests if they weren't helping enough or just wanted to enjoy the rest of the evening socializing. My other besty felt guilty because her and her fi left early because they didn't want to stay and help clean up. NO GUEST SHOULD EVER HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY OR BE EXPECTED TO DO ANYTHING at a wedding except have a good time.
Sorry that was so long winded.
The first was her insistence on having two bridal showers. Her first was hosted for her by her mom and grandmother and was a joint celebration for her and her cousin as they were getting married within a week of each other and very close. Well, my BFF decided that she had friends that she didn't think would act appropriately (meaning they would be loud and obnoxious) so she wanted her bridesmaids to throw her a completely separate shower for the girls she felt she couldn't invite to the other shower. So I shelled out hundreds of dollars to throw a very nice shower that all of SIX people showed up to (many more than that were invited). It was completely unnecessary, a waste of time and money, and, after everything I've read so far on this site, it was rude and in bad taste for her to require a second bridal shower.
The other issue was with her bachelorette party. Again, the bridal party obviously wanted to throw her a bachelorette party as a way to let loose and have fun but again, she had very specific demands. She didn't want to go out in our town, or the city close by. No, we had to travel two hours away and stay at a fancy casino overnight. I slept on the floor despite contributing to the cost of this excursion while the rest of the girls (some who paid nothing towards this) slept on couches or the beds in the hotel rooms.
There were so many other little things that I could go on and on about but those two were the biggest things. You don't get to request a second bridal shower because you don't think your friends can act like grown ups around your friends (which is offensive to said friends as well, though they didn't know anything about the first shower). And I understand that she wanted to have fun at her bridal shower, but she wasn't paying for a dime of it. All in all I spent far too much money to give in her ridiculous requests that she wasn't all that appreciative of and it completely soured the experience for me.
If you can't afford to properly host a reception, then you are going to be wearing the nicest dress you already own, just like they did in olden times.