NER: Is the $20k wedding worth it?

syoun1nj · November 2013

I think you can have a meal/reception for 20k easily or even invite 60-90 people for way less than that. It all depends on your priorities.

We had 84 guests and probably spent between 25-30k (I live in the DC area - cheap for this area!). We did not have a budget, but my parents gave us a contribution, his mother contributed to the rehearsal, and we paid the rest. My parents contribution was generous and very helpful.

You should really determine your priorities and budget accordingly. Like, would you prefer great photography, food, and drinks, 50 people, and a cheaper dress and no DJ? Or, appetizers, beer and wine, DJ and photography, cheaper dress...etc! You can choose where to spend your money (depending on your venue). We wanted our friends there and we splurged on a lot, but we dont have debt from it. I already own our home, so that wasn't an issue for us, though.

Really, it's what works for you guys. I don't think people should go into debt for their wedding but others disagree. But there are totally ways to save. Lots of people spend thousands on flowers. Others DIY bouquets. Lots spend thousands on invites. Others use VistaPrint or Zazzle. Rehearsals aren't necessary. Bridal parties aren't necessary. All that is "necessary" is a legal officiant in your state, a fiance, and legally required witnesses, and that your guests are properly hosted. Properly hosted depends on the time of your wedding and budget. Everything depends on you and your FI and budget. Just observe basic etiquette and you'll be okay, whichever "size" you decide!!

syoun1nj · November 2013

Oh! Just saw you're DC area too. I live in the burbs (Centreville) but our wedding was at Bull Run Golf Club in Haymarket. If you aren't worried about being on public transit lines, they are WONDERFUL and, to me, SO REASONABLE. And gorgeous. Our wedding was wonderful and the staff there is amazing. They have a lot of packages for food/bev. Happy to answer any questions if you are interested in them.

Sharpschruter22 · November 2013

If you don't want to plan, but still want the beautiful more expensive wedding, hire a planner. It would be worth it to you. Try to find someone just starting out who will be cheap.

Our wedding was 22k for 75 people and was the wedding of my dreams. I don't regret it at all.

krizzo17 · November 2013

Another money-saving tip - while your location will definitely have the DC prices, consider going an hour or so away for your dress, photographer, musicians, etc - We got married right outside of Philly but had recently moved to Central PA. I bought my dress for much less there (although if you go with a place like DB prices will be consistent), and we found out that hiring a Central PA photographer and paying her travel costs was still cheaper than hiring someone local to our venue.

SP29 · November 2013

I thought about doing a cheaper wedding as well (we are spending ~15K), such as an afternoon cocktail reception. But, we have a large amount of guests from out of town and I thought it would be inconsiderate to ask them to spend a large amount of money to fly out for our wedding then only host them for an afternoon. Thus, we went with the traditional meal and dancing.

We chose a venue that is all inclusive because we are having the wedding in our hometown where we no longer live, so it helps those details are taken care of.

All inclusive may work better for you if you don't want to plan too many details. But, if you look for non-traditional wedding venues you may be able to have a "larger" wedding cheaper.

I suggest you price your options out and look at how much you would be spending for each. Remember, guests care most about being properly hosted: good (warm) food, enough to eat and drink, and good music (if you're having dancing). No body cares if your linens are high end, if you have monogrammed napkins, if your dress is designer, and you don't need STDs.

hoffse · November 2013

I personally don't think it's worth that cost for only 90-ish guests. I live in the Birmingham/Atlanta/Nashville area and it was about $15K for 170 people. I got my dress off the rack on clearance (gasp), and I I did my own make-up and hair (double gasp) and we still had a country club reception with a band and two photographers. We have a family who dances, we had an open bar, and a lot of people told us it was one of the best weddings they had been to because they could drink and dance without feeling awkward. That was where we put the bulk of our money.

We got married in the spring so we just ordered tulips in bulk from our local grocery store. They were gorgeous and we spent less than $700 on more than 1,000 of them. We stuck them in vases from the dollar store that we had spray painted silver and wrapped ribbon around them for the bouquets. Entire project took a couple hours and it meant we didn't have to hire a florist. We ordered invitations from exclusivelyweddings.com when they were running a 30% off deal. So we got about 125 thermographed invitations for less than $400. That's a hell of a price.

There are plenty of ways to lower the cost. People care that the food and entertainment is good. They want an accessible bathroom and chair for them to sit in. The rest doesn't really matter. If you want to spend $200 on a dress or $5,000 nobody will know but you.

My point is even if you can't get around the venue cost (and I would be really surprised if this was actually the case. You just have to think outside the box a bit), you can still cut down on some other $$ that will make a difference to exactly nobody but you.

But if, after doing this research, you're still looking at $20K for less than 100 folks I wouldn't do it.

WedReMix13 · November 2013

For our wedding - most of it was planned and paid for by other people but it was very small and I hated most of it.

For our renewal, we spent $1,000 and there were about 15 people. I loved every part of it. We did it at a church and had the reception at a friends house. LOVED everything about it.

short+sassy · November 2013

I will first admit to my strong bias on this subject. I love, love small, intimate weddings. Both as a guest and as a recent bride. At my wedding, I had about 35 guests and would not have wanted it any other way. With fewer guests it was fewer hassles, much lower expense, and I had time to really visit with all my guests. Plus I personally just couldn't stomach the thought of spending a huge chunk of money on one day. I'd rather put that money toward my home loan or big trip(s).

No offense or judginess meant at all to brides who feel differently. I'm just saying I was very happy with my choice to have a smaller wedding/reception and don't regret it.

WonderRed · November 2013

We spent about $10k for 30 guests and I wouldn't change a thing. It would have been about $20k if we'd had your guest list. We just didn't know that many people we wanted to be there with us for something this personal. The bulk of our cost was the very specific atmosphere of of our venue and the high end food and booze they serve there. Another almost $2k was spent on live music for both cocktail hour and the reception. It wouldn't have been the wedding we had in mind if we hadn't had those things so yes, it was absolutely worth it.

It really depends on you and what you want/envision but I personally don't think $20k is a ridiculous budget.

NER: Is the $20k wedding worth it?

Re: NER: Is the $20k wedding worth it?

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